by T. L. Haddix
Warren shook his head. “Nothing.” Pulling his hands free, he straightened and reached for her.
The warmth of his palms against her bare arms made her sigh. She relaxed into him, winding her arms around his waist to hold on as he tipped her face up for a kiss that was gentle at first but exploded with need in very short order.
One of the things that had haunted Lily the most since last fall was the way Warren kissed, the way he held her when they were intimate. His absolute focus on her like she was the only thing that existed in his world was devastating. Although she’d been a virgin when they were together, she had dated other guys in the past and had even gotten fairly involved with some of them.
Warren was the only one who had made her feel as if he enjoyed every single moment of what they did together, from the touches to the kisses to more. It was a heady sensation, and it made her crave more of him.
Within a couple of minutes, they were clinging to each other. Warren pressed his temple to hers as he pulled back so they could catch their breath. “Can we take this to bed?”
Lily nipped at his jaw, his lips. “Please.”
“Thank God.” He started walking her backward, his hands on the curve of her bottom, and every step or two, he’d dip his head to steal another quick kiss. As they passed the counter with the platter, he stopped. “Fridge?”
“Fridge.” Lily grabbed it with hands that trembled and put it inside.
When he turned her back toward him, using her hands to whirl her in a circle before pulling her into his arms again, she laughed.
“We’ll come back for that later,” he promised. “We’ll need it.”
There was a strong sense of urgency as they stood beside the bed a moment later, shedding clothes. But there was also tenderness, and that surprised Lily. Back in the fall, they’d each been frantic to get the other naked, and she’d even had a couple of scratches the next day. This felt different.
Getting rid of her clothing was simple—she was only wearing the shorts and tank top.
“Beautiful,” he murmured as her garments hit the floor, and he lightly touched the tips of her breasts before letting his hands trail down her stomach, making her muscles jump. He stopped just shy of the juncture of her thighs, pulling his hands away inch by inch, in a move that had her whimpering with need.
Once Warren’s shirt was off, she ran her hands over his chest and abdomen, loving the way his skin felt. The play of muscles underneath spoke to her of his strength. The sound of the friction of her skin against his, she thought, had to be one of the most erotic sounds in the world. That and the clink of his belt buckle rattling as he undid it, followed by the rasp of his zipper.
He caught her mouth with his as she reached inside his shorts to touch him, his hands coming to rest on her waist before sliding up to cup her breasts. And then he was laying her on the bed, following her, covering her with his body. Loving her.
When they came together, the frantic need that had been so present last time rose back up, overwhelming Lily. The desperate agony of coming apart in his arms engulfed her, seeming to go on forever until she was nothing but sensation. He followed her over the edge soon after. Lily clung to Warren, arms and legs wrapped around him as she fought for composure. She felt like crying, she was so overwhelmed.
After a couple of minutes, he slid off of her to lie beside her, holding her close. “No running this time,” he whispered, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb. “No more running.”
She swallowed, hating that her lips trembled, and nodded. “I’m scared though.”
His smile was infinitely gentle. “So am I.” The breath he let out was shaky, and he closed his eyes as he rested his face against hers. “I’m really rather terrified.”
“Oh, good then. I can relax.” She brushed the damp hair back off his forehead, hardly able to believe he was in her bed.
After a few minutes, she needed to get up. Trying to pretend she didn’t feel awkward as hell, she headed for the bathroom.
When she came out a few minutes later, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing his shorts. He watched her, half-smiling, as she tugged the belt of her robe tighter.
“Come here.”
Lily went, letting him pull her into his lap, her legs on either side of his. “Hi.”
He undid the belt, sending her a wicked wink, and slid his hands under the robe, moving her closer to him. “That’s better,” he murmured as he kissed her collarbone, working his way up to her mouth.
Just when she thought things were going to heat back up, he brought the kissing to an end.
“Why did you run?”
She stared at him, dismayed. Sitting back, she pulled the front of the robe closed, then stood and went to the door that was open to the backyard. She leaned her head against the frame of the storm door and shrugged. “I figured what happened would destroy us. I couldn’t stick around and go through that.”
Warren came up behind her, bracing an arm above her head on the doorjamb. He rubbed her arm with his other hand, then hugged her from behind. “Why would you think that? That we’d be destroyed, I mean?”
Her whole body was tense, and she felt wooden standing there against him. Even though she tried to relax, she couldn’t. Too much was riding on this conversation, and she was terrified.
“Because I was afraid you’d see it as a mistake. And I didn’t want to face you, knowing there’d be guilt and recriminations and maybe even anger. I wasn’t strong enough,” she finished on a whisper, closing her eyes.
“You once told me that you’d marry me someday, except… how did you put it? My heart was taken, and you wanted all of me.”
Stunned, Lily half turned her face toward him. “What? When did I say that?”
“The night you and Molly got ‘arrested.’” He squeezed her waist. “The first time I fell in love, it was so easy I didn’t know I was doing it until I was in deep. I was young and invincible. Sure, some unpleasant things happened to me when I was a kid, but not once I was with Cal and Brooke. At least, not anything like what happened with losing Jess. I’d paid my dues already. That sort of loss was a nightmare that other people went through. But then it did happen to me, and as you well know, I didn’t handle things very well.”
Lily dropped her hands to cover his arm in a reverse hug. She had to swallow back tears at the pain in his voice, but she didn’t speak. She couldn’t. She was hurting too much for them both.
“When I came to this farm, I didn’t know what to expect. Maybe I’d be able to deal with living day after day and not drinking to get a handle on the grief. Maybe someday the past would even hurt less. At the very least, I’d be fulfilling my promise to Cal and Brooke and the kids that I’d not give up on myself. The very last thing I expected was that this sweet, funny, kind, somewhat irritable girl would become my best friend in the world.”
Lily laughed despite herself. “Somewhat irritable?”
She felt Warren shrug. “I think we both can admit you are not a morning person.”
She sighed. “No, I guess I’m not.”
He kissed her temple. “Anyhow, you did. You snuck in when I wasn’t looking, sometimes literally, Miss Fall Asleep in a Man’s Office, and you were just there. You accepted me for the mess I was and didn’t try to change me, even when you were still a teenager and should have been all irresponsible and rash. That quiet acceptance gave me the support I needed to heal. Before I knew it, a couple of years had gone by and I wasn’t suffering like I had. Then another couple of years, and I was actually enjoying myself.” Resting his face in the curve of her neck, he blew out a breath. “The guilt I felt each time I had fun or smiled or laughed, I can’t tell you what it was like. You knew though.”
She nodded, smiling even as a couple of tears escaped and were tracking down her cheeks. “I could always tell when you had a breakthrough because you moped, an
d talk about being irritable. Someone had to slap the sense into you.”
Warren held her closer. “I’m glad it was you. So glad.”
Lily leaned her head into his. “Me too.” But a wealth of sadness grew inside her as she wondered where in the world he was going with this conversation. She couldn’t imagine it would end up anywhere she needed or wanted it to be.
“That night you got drunk and said what you did, I was completely flummoxed. I mean, it turned me upside down, hearing you say what you did. I never for an instant thought there was anything more between us than friendship. I never let myself think that, maybe because I knew we’d be in big trouble if we went down that road. But then you pulled the rug out from under me, and you didn’t even remember what you’d said.”
“Did Molly know?”
He nodded. “She was there. I asked her later if you had any recollection of it, and she swore you didn’t. At least you hadn’t mentioned it to her, and we figured you would. So I asked her not to bring it up. To be honest, I wasn’t anywhere near ready to deal with that sort of thing.”
Lily didn’t know what to think about her cousin’s silence. That was definitely a subject she was going to be bringing up with Molly the first chance she got, however.
Warren moved his hands to her shoulders, gently rubbing. “I don’t know when I fell in love the second time. I truly don’t. After your confession, probably, as the idea of you and me in a romantic relationship hadn’t occurred to me before then. And I wouldn’t admit anything to myself as far as feelings going deeper than a very devoted friendship, not for a long time. Then last fall happened, and God Almighty…
“Hell, I wouldn’t admit there was more until you came back home a few weeks ago, if you want the truth, even though I knew good and well by then that there was more. After you left last year, I held on to being angry. Then there you were, walking to the barn that first day back, and I was a goner. I knew it. I still ran, but I knew my days were numbered because there was no way in hell I could ever be near you again and not want you and need you and love you.”
Lily couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. She daren’t move as she leaned against him, needing the support to stay on her feet.
He cleared his throat, and his voice was low, rough when he spoke again. “When a man who’s lost everything the way I have falls in love again, it’s the worst feeling in the world at first because you know, you know in a deep and pervasive way, just how bad things can be. Just how big of a loss you can suffer if things don’t work out for whatever reason. It eats away at you, and you come to a very literal point where you have to make a decision to run or to stay.
“When I knew that I loved you not just as a dear friend but as the woman who’s become part of my soul, I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could. But then it occurred to me one day that not even that would spare me from the pain of losing you. And something Brooke said about taking what we’ve been given and making the most of it, even if only for a short time, it made sense to me. I could be happy with you for however long we have together, or I could be miserable apart from you, pretending what I think we have never existed.”
He turned her gently, wiping at the tears that ran freely down her cheeks. “I couldn’t do it anymore, Lily. I couldn’t run from you. I can’t run from you. I love you too much. I hope to God you love me back, because if you don’t, this is going to be the most awkward evening I think I’ve ever spent in my life.” He laughed, the sound pained, as he looked at her with a lopsided smile.
For a moment, she stared back at him, then she buried her face in his chest and cried, holding on to him for dear life.
Warren rocked her back and forth, kissing her temple. “Does that mean you do?”
Freeing a hand, she balled it into a fist and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Yes.” And then she cried some more, holding him tighter as he laughed.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
When Lily reacted to his declaration with tears, Warren was one hundred percent certain he’d ruined everything. But when she’d hit him, as odd as it might sound, he’d known they were okay. Now, as he held her as her tears wound down, he felt like stripping naked and running outside to beat his chest, howl at the moon, and generally shout to the world how happy he was.
Conversely, he felt like he was going to pass out, he was so relieved.
“You love me?” she asked in a raspy whisper as she pulled back, her hand coming up to hide her face. “Excuse me. Hold that thought.”
When she dashed to the bathroom to blow her nose, Warren couldn’t help it—he laughed. He was still laughing when she came out a couple of minutes later, a frown on her face as she watched him.
“What’s funny?”
“Us. Everything.” He tugged her into his arms and danced her around in a slow circle as he hugged her. “I love you, yes. With everything that I am, I love you.”
She closed her eyes, and for a minute, he was afraid she was going to cry again.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” she whispered.
He nipped at her mouth, then she took over and kissed him. This time, the heat that flared was edged with desperation, and in a short minute, Lily was undoing his shorts. There was no hesitancy or smoothness now, only white-hot need as they tumbled gently onto the bed.
Once he was inside her, he grabbed her hands and wrapped her fingers around the thin iron posts of the headboard, holding the metal himself as he moved. This time, when she climaxed, Warren shattered as hard as he’d ever come apart. He buried himself as deep as he could get, needing to touch her soul.
They were both shaking when they came down enough to let go of the bed, and he buried his face in her neck as emotions overwhelmed him.
When he could breathe again, he kissed her jaw. “I think you’re going to have to marry me. We might even have to elope.”
Lily gave a soft laugh. “Oh, really? Why’s that?”
“Because I don’t want to spend another day without you beside me.” He was solemn, serious, and he saw the instant she realized that.
“You… Warren.”
He sighed and moved his weight off of her but kept her leg around his hip. “Too much, too soon?”
She touched his face, her fingers softly tracing his lips, his nose. “No. I… all I’ve ever wanted in life, it seems, was to be yours. For you to be mine. At least since I was eighteen or so and I figured out the ridiculous crush I had on you wasn’t going to go away. Definitely not too much, too soon. But are you sure?”
Warren nodded, relaxing into her arms. “Absolutely.”
For several minutes, Lily was quiet, a tiny wrinkle between her brows as she considered his words. “Mom and Dad won’t be happy if we elope, even though they did it.”
“I have your mother’s approval to pursue you,” he said, surprising her again. “But I’ll admit your dad might take a little work.” He explained the conversations they’d had in recent weeks.
Lily groaned and closed her eyes, then gave an exasperated sigh. “Those Campbells…”
Warren grinned. “Of which you are one, I’ll remind you.”
“Not for long.” She kissed him softly. “We could fly to Vegas like they did, I guess. But I would like to do things up proper once we’re home. I want the fancy dress and all the trimmings.”
“You’d elope with me?”
She smiled. “I would. I will. If you’ll marry me again in a traditional ceremony later.”
With a whoop that startled her, he flipped them over and over, ending up in the floor in a heap of blankets that had them both wincing and laughing.
“Let’s do it. I’ll marry you twice and happily.” He kissed her again, his spirit feeling light as a feather for the first time in a very, very long time.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
When Lily sat down beside Owen at breakfast on Wedne
sday, she was wearing a secretive smile. She leaned in, speaking to him and Sarah, as they were the first ones at the table in the kitchen. “Have you two ever been to Vegas?”
Three hours later, they were on a plane. Lily and Warren were in the seats behind them, having sneaked to take the day off. Owen couldn’t stop chuckling as he thought about how surprised Ben and Ainsley were going to be.
“You’re getting an awfully big kick out of this,” Sarah teased.
He shrugged. “I think this is the perfect payback for what they did to us thirty years ago.” Picking up her hand, he kissed the back. “We should renew our vows while we’re out here.”
Sarah blushed softly. “I did say I’d marry you all over again, didn’t I?”
Owen winked. “Yes, you did.”
By five o’clock that evening, it was done—both the vow renewal and Warren and Lily’s marriage. They had time to stop for dinner before they had to be at the airport, and Owen kept a close eye on Sarah. They weren’t as young as they used to be, and the last week or so had been pretty rough. But she was holding up just fine, and in fact seemed to be letting go of some of her worry over Easton and Rachel.
Watching Lily and Warren together, he couldn’t help but be reminded of Ben and Ainsley, who’d had such a rocky start. But when they’d finally figured out how to deal with each other, they’d never faltered.
He raised his cup of coffee in a salute. “To beginnings, second chances, renewals, and most of all to love and family. Welcome, officially, to ours,” he told Warren.
Warren smiled. “Thank you.” He kissed Lily’s temple softly, looking for all the world like he’d been handed the most precious, priceless gift known to mankind.
Owen slipped his arm around Sarah with a satisfied sigh. “One more down, wife. We’ll have them all married off soon, the ones who are old enough.”
The words made Lily protest and make a face at them, but she was laughing as hard as Warren.