by Selina Rosen
"Poley, let the girl go," Topaz said. "She's not going to try to get away again." He looked at her then. "You aren't going to try to get away, are you?"
"No." She was glad when the strange man released her. She leaned close to Topaz and whispered, "What's wrong with him?"
Topaz laughed. "There's nothing wrong with him. Much to the contrary everything is right with him. In fact he just heard everything you said. He's a robot."
It must have been obvious by the look on her face that she didn't understand, because Topaz said, "He's made of metal and plastic and circuits. He's a machine that can think."
Janad looked at Poley again. Now that was the most absurd thing she had ever heard. He couldn't be a machine. Machines didn't look like people, and they most definitely did not think.
"Don't talk about him like he's not here," David said in a scolding tone.
"Thanks. David," Poley said looking at his feet.
"I'm sorry, Poley," Topaz said.
Janad looked at Poley; he looked sad. That was another thing machines didn't do; they didn't feel.
In the sickbay Topaz helped her to sit on one of the examining tables as Poley started to clean up and care for David's broken nose.
"Now this is going to sting a bit," Topaz said. He held a machine to her arm. It was the same as the thing the Reliance had used on her before taking her from the planet. She steeled herself for the pain, but found that it didn't hurt as badly when you weren't putting up a fight. Topaz looked at the data with a curious look on his face.
"Poley, could you come look at this?" Topaz asked.
Poley finished up what he was doing with David and walked over. David got up and wandered over to look out the porthole at space.
Poley looked at the data Topaz handed him.
"Beta 4 humanoid DNA," Poley said.
"Doesn't it look awfully familiar?"
"Yes, but . . ."
"Sometimes you can be such a computer, Poley," Topaz said in an exasperated tone.
David let out a sound that was almost a scream and jumped back from the porthole. Janad saw why as a naked body floated by. "What the hell!" he screamed.
"RJ must have opened the airlock to dump the dead bodies," Poley said matter-of-factly.
David shuddered and walked quickly away from the porthole. "Why did she strip them?"
"You know RJ. She hates to throw away anything she might need later," Topaz said.
"Why does she have to use that damn plasma blaster instead of a laser? It makes such a mess," David observed almost conversationally.
"I imagine that would be why," Topaz said with a laugh. "Come here, David, I need a blood sample."
"I think I've bled enough today. Couldn't you just take a piece of my hair if all you need is DNA?" David protested.
"Come on, Dave, humor an old man," Topaz said.
David held out his arm, and Topaz got the sample.
"See, Poley?" Topaz tapped on the screen as it showed a comparison of the two DNA samples.
"They aren't even close," Poley said.
Topaz sighed. "Oh, yes, they are. This girl is at least half human. Look more closely at the data. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something very familiar about her DNA."
"Wow," David groaned. "That has got to be the worst come-on line I have ever heard! I'm out ah here. Think I'll go lie down for awhile."
Poley nodded. "I do see many similarities and would have to agree that, yes, the subject is at least half human."
"Then I'm going to assume that it will be safe to treat her with the same medicine we would use on humans," Topaz said.
Janad watched as they cleaned the wound. They applied a salve, dressed it, and then Topaz put the thing back on her arm and she felt a slight sting. She trusted him. She didn't know why, but she did.
"I suggest you find a bunk and get some rest. RJ's going to have a lot of questions for you," Topaz said.
Janad nodded.
"Poley, put Janad in a convenient spot," Topaz ordered.
Poley nodded and started to walk away. Janad followed him reluctantly. She already felt better. He took her to a room close to the flight deck. Obviously it had been some big shot's quarters, as it held only one bed instead of sixty. She lay down. To her surprise Poley covered her up before he left. She closed her eyes and was almost instantly asleep.
* * *
RJ joined Levits on the flight deck.
"Is everything alright?" she asked as she sat beside him.
"Why don't you tell me?" Levits asked. "You've changed dicks right in the middle of a screw, and I really have no idea why."
"The Reliance is up to something on Beta 4. They're hauling something back from there, and it sure as hell isn't any livestock we're familiar with. We just caught a wounded Beta 4 humanoid on this ship, and it looks like she's been hiding here for a while. Now here's a good question. Did she hide to ride on the ship, or is she hiding to go back?"
"That doesn't make any sense," Levits said. "What would a Beta 4 humanoid be doing on Earth?"
"I think they're the 'livestock' the Reliance has been shipping in from Beta 4," RJ said.
"But why?" Levits asked. "Why would they do that? They have enough trouble feeding their own people on Earth right now. Why bring in more mouths to feed?"
"Levits, sometimes you think like a farm unit," RJ said in exasperation.
Levits shrugged. There was so much crap swimming through his brain right now that he would have gladly settled for half the brain of a common farm worker with which to work.
"How many Reliance troops did the New Alliance kill on Earth? Thousands? Hundreds of thousands? A large part of the reason they surrendered Zone 2-A to us was because their war with the Argys has escalated on two fronts and they can't afford to divert troops from space back to the home front. If they want to keep us from running over the rest of the planet, or if they want to take back what ground they have lost, they are going to have to have troops from somewhere," RJ explained. "There was a girl out there about Sandra's size, five-six, maybe weighs one-forty soaking wet. In a matter of seconds she had cracked Topaz' ribs and broken David's nose. I had to jump up in the service grid to catch her, and she was far from easy to hold. And get this, Levits, the girl was wounded and fevered. She'd probably been sick for a while from the looks of the wound and the extent of the infection. Looked like she'd been shot in the shoulder – probably by one of the security droids."
"Damn!" Levits said as realization dawned. "We'd better tell Mickey."
"Let's wait till we know for sure what's going on," RJ said. "No sense in causing panic if I'm wrong."
Levits nodded. "Well at least that explains the course change . . . Now, was that so hard?"
RJ smiled and stood up. She moved to rub his shoulders, and he stiffened instead of relaxing. "Relax, Levits, you ought to know by now that you can trust me." He relaxed slowly under her hands, and she continued to massage his neck and shoulders.
"It's hard to relax when I know you could snap my neck if you wanted to, and I have no idea where your head is any more, RJ. I didn't always want to go along with all your schemes, but at least there was some pattern to them. Some logic, now . . ." He pushed her hands gently away and swiveled his chair to face her. ". . . you royally piss me off."
"What!" RJ exclaimed. "What?"
"You heard me. You piss me off! Look at you. Your life isn't over, hell it hasn't even begun. But you've got a death wish, and you're hell-bent on taking the rest of us with you."
"Excuse me! I didn't want you to come. I didn't want any of you to come, you insisted . . ."
"Give me a big freaking break. You knew damn good and well that we were never going to let you go off on this crazy-assed mission half cocked, alone . . . Do you think I don't hurt? Do you think I don't have pain? I, however, am growing older. I don't have time to wallow for forty years in my grief because I'm just not going to live that long. In fact working with you I'll be lucky to live out the week. I
want to have a life; is that some crime? But instead of finding some nice girl, settling down in the free zone and maybe having a couple of kids. I'm out here in freaking space where I never wanted to go again. I'm piloting a crappy ship, which is something I never wanted to do again. Why? I don't freaking know why!" He had wanted to say these things for a long time, so while he was trying not to scream, he just wasn't making it.
RJ was more than a little taken aback, and she didn't really know what to say. "I'm sorry, Levits, I didn't know you felt this way."
"You know what, RJ? Maybe that wouldn't sound like such bullshit if you weren't a freaking empath! I'd ask if you remembered what happened between us six months ago because you've never brought it up, except I know you have total recall, so I know damn good and well that you do."
RJ turned away from him to hide her anger. She couldn't believe he was bringing it up at all much less now.
"We almost had sex, RJ. But we didn't, because you put the brakes on and ran off. I didn't understand why you stopped it. It didn't make any sense to me at the time. I went and took a cold shower and tried to forget about it. But I know why you ran off now – because you might have enjoyed it. God forbid that anything should get in the way of your grieving off into infinity. God forbid that you might actually feel something for me – or anyone else for that matter. If you want to suffer forever that's fine do it, but quit making the rest of us suffer with you." Levits got out of his chair. "You watch the bridge. I know damn good and well that you can fly this thing as well as I can. So you sit here and watch it while I get something to eat and find a nice quiet place to beat off, because I am sick to death of taking orders from you. I'm sick to death of taking orders from anyone." He stomped out off the bridge as Poley walked in.
RJ took a deep breath as she looked at her brother. "And you thought I had PMS."
Chapter Five
They left the palace under cover of darkness, long after everyone else had gone to sleep. Even the guards at the back entrance were leaning against the wall at their posts snoring loudly. How they did that always amazed Taleed.
This time they didn't steal the holy vehicle. In the past all that had done was make them easier to track and totally annoy the priests. They walked through the streets on foot, sneaking between the dwellings of carved stone down to the river. There were many woven reed boats there, but they would not take one here. They would not take anything that might be missed and give them away. Instead they would walk a good ways down the river, and using the tools they both carried in their backpacks Haldeed would make one of the reed boats. They walked through the night before stopping in the middle of a patch of reeds to make camp just as day broke.
Haldeed made a small fire put up their tent and cooked their meal. Taleed took off his shoes and helped as much as he could. Over the years he had gotten quite good at doing certain things with his feet. However he wasn't supposed to use his feet for anything but walking, and so he hadn't managed to get all the practice he needed to be really good at it.
"I'm sorry that I can't help more, Haldeed. I'm sure that with more practice I will get quite good at doing things with my feet."
I don't mind, Haldeed signed.
"I know you don't mind, my brother, but it isn't fair that you should have to do all the work." He shoved a piece of wood into the fire with his foot and didn't burn himself. He smiled at Haldeed. "See? I'm already getting better at it."
Haldeed looked worried and signed at Taleed. I don't know how to make a boat.
"Nonsense! I'm sure you can make a boat, Haldeed. You can do anything you set your mind to," Taleed insisted.
Haldeed signed more franticly, We don't know how to sail a boat, Taleed, or navigate a river. I don't think this is a very good plan.
"It's a great plan, my best ever. How hard could it be to travel the river on a boat? You get in, the river flows, it carries you along; it's really quite simple."
But you don't know how to swim, Haldeed signed even more franticly.
Taleed laughed. "You worry too much, brother. If I fall in, then I shall have to learn to swim, won't I? Isn't that what they always say is the best way to learn? Just jump in! We'd better get some sleep. I for one am dead tried."
By the time they woke up it was getting dark. Well rested, a slightly more confident Haldeed started to make the boat. Taleed helped him as much as possible by holding things down with his feet. He found that his stumps, which he had always deemed useless, were actually of more use than he had thought. He hadn't realized how much he used them until he covered them up and made them truly useless. He would have pulled his fake hands off except they had brought no glue to reattach them and besides he sort of liked the way they looked. By daybreak on the fourth day the boat was finished. They ate in silence, both totally exhausted. Neither wanted to admit that it was because they weren't used to hard physical labor or sleeping on anything but the very best fur filled mattresses. They lay down for sleep in the small cramped tent with the reeds they had stomped down to make their camp poking at them through their bedrolls.
Taleed rolled trying to get comfortable and finally said to Haldeed, "I'm very uncomfortable and very tired."
Haldeed tapped him- his in-the-dark sign for me, too.
"I'd still rather be here than in the palace."
Haldeed hit him again.
Finally too tired to worry about the reeds poking them they went to sleep.
When evening fell the next day they ate quickly, packed their gear, loaded it in their boat and set off down the river. With six moons there was always some light to shine on Balancer, but they were still less likely to be seen during the night.
The river was slow here, and Haldeed helped them along with the paddle he had woven around a stick. The boat and the oar looked just like the ones the local fishermen used.
"You did a very good job, Haldeed," Taleed said when they had been on the river about an hour and still hadn't taken on any water. They sat facing each other in the boat.
Haldeed put down the oar temporarily and signed, Don't say anything till we get where we are going, wherever that is. He picked the oar up and started rowing again.
"No one has found us yet. We will travel as far on the river as we can and then we will go inland. We will find some remote village. One that has no temple, where no one knows us, and we will live out our years as teachers. . . or beggars. I don't care what we do as long as I never have to go back to the palace. As long as I never have to see another priest."
* * *
RJ stood in front of the viewing port in the room she had taken, rolling the object in her hand back and forth across her fingers. She looked out at the vast emptiness of hyperspace and realized she was still seeing the ruins of Alsterase. Her lips curled into a snarl. Topaz and Mickey had been right. She couldn't leave it behind because it was right here with her. Standing here looking at space was the same as standing on the wall looking at the bare land where the city had once stood. Her demons were following her.
Levits was right, too, although she was far more reluctant to admit it. She didn't let go of the past because then she would have to live in the present. She may actually be happy again, and when you were happy, you had everything to lose and losing hurt. It was way too easy to fall into the pattern. In order to be happy you had to care about people and they about you. Eventually they died, one way or another, and when they did it hurt.
They'll all die, David, Levits, Mickey. Well at least I won't be there to see Mickey die, but I miss him. Damn Topaz! Why does he always have to be right? Crazier than a bug in a box and yet he knows more than anyone I've ever known.
She didn't want to think about it, any of it. She put the eye back into her pocket and pulled a coin out. She put it around a link of the chain and smashed it closed.
That's it, RJ, concentrate on the victories. Think about the battle. Be happy with the war. After all it's a sure bet that war will always be there. Don't think about the battles lost. Don't
think about Alsterase in flames. Don't think about the guy who used to run the Golden Arches or the Fat Bastard who was always so worried we were going to let a corpse rot in his fucking hotel. Don't think about Sandy or how just talking to her could make you feel better. And whatever you do don't think about Whitey Baldor. God, please don't let me think about him, because when I do I cry, and I just don't think I have any tears left.
She was wrong. A tear spilled out of her eye and ran down her check. She dried it quickly away.
Damn it I'm talking to myself again. I'm really fucking losing it at least I'm not talking out loud.