“Paolo, do you want more coffee?”
“Sure, that sounds great.” Sydney brought over the coffee pot. Paolo wrapped an arm around her backside and pulled her closer to him.
“Be careful, the coffee is hot.”
“Yes, dear. I just love holding you near.”
“Stop,” she said, pulling away from him.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Why does there always have to be something wrong? It’s just my hormones.” Sydney walked over to the counter, put the coffee pot down, and left the room.
“Well, I guess I said the wrong thing,” Paolo said in a whisper as he shook his head. He reached over the chair, picked up the New York Times, and opened it to the sports page.
Twenty minutes passed before Sydney came back. She sat down next to Paolo and said nothing. Paolo placed his hand on hers. “This will all work out, it’s just a moment in time.”
“I don’t have the patience I used to. You and me, everything…I don’t even know if I love you.” She sat with her arms folded against her chest.
The comment sent an aching pain right to his heart. Not letting on, he said, “Sydney, listen to me. I did some research. In my car I have a book you should read on menopause. The book might help you understand what’s happening to you.” Paolo continued, “Did you know the amount of sunlight, exercise, and how often and what you eat and drink can help alleviate your symptoms?”
Sydney placed her arms on the table and clasped her hands in a prayer-like manner. “No, I didn’t.”
“Menopause has a profound effect on all aspects of a woman’s life—relationships, desires, body changes. Menopause is a life-changing moment. To be concise, your hormones go crazy. This craziness contributes to your mood swings, anxiety, and tears—and even the fuzzy thinking you’ve mentioned. And if you’re already stressed out, then your stress becomes even more exasperated due to the fluctuating hormones.”
Sydney listened.
“When I was at Barnes and Noble, I met two women—Mary and Rose. They were probably in their late sixties. Mary’s story about the change of life was amazing.”
Sydney stared at Paolo for a moment. “What did you do, go up and say ‘Excuse me, have you gone through menopause yet?’” The sarcasm in her voice could have cut glass.
Paolo ignored the comment and went on to detail the conversation with Rose and Mary. “Let me go out and get the book.” Paolo rose from the table and went out to his car.
When he got back, Sydney was shaking her head. “Paolo, I don’t need this crap, I’m fine.” He said nothing and placed the book on the table. She picked it up and skimmed through the first five pages.
Paolo left the house with a dull ache in his heart, an indescribable pain deep within him.
Paolo knew that in Sydney’s mind, menopause was not the problem. What she failed to understand is what Paolo understood: he gave her the opportunity to change, but she decided not to. Sydney, being an independent woman, never relied on a man: she didn’t have to change; Paolo needed to change, not her.
Over the next several weeks, the road got tougher. The Thanksgiving holiday was shared with family members, not with one another. Paolo figured by the middle of December, Sydney’s hormones would be out of balance. Even though he realized this, he still asked her to share the Christmas holidays with him. Sydney held him off, and then on December 19, she said no. On December 21, she said yes. Paolo tried not to give her a hard time. He felt like a ping-pong ball and buried himself in his pain.
Paolo turned more and more to pen and paper, trying to alleviate the heartache with his written words. The pain, like a hook that speared his heart, never seemed to stop, and when he was not with her, it only increased. Paolo pondered day and night, asking himself why? What went wrong? There was no answer other than a change of life, a moment in time.
They spent part of Christmas Day together. “Merry Christmas, Lisa.” She stood in the doorway. Paolo leaned down and gave her a hug.
Sydney stood behind her and said, “Merry Christmas, Paolo, come in.” She gave him a kiss on the lips and took his overcoat while Lisa took the Macy’s shopping bag filled with presents. The two walked into the living room. The crackling fire in the fireplace warmed Paolo’s bones. The spruce tree was lit with red, green, and white lights. The song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” played in the background.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine, Sydney, thank you.” The atmosphere was strained. “Lisa, in the shopping bag are presents for you and your brother. Where is Andrew, by the way?”
“Where else?” Sydney rolled her eyes.
“Ah yes, the girlfriend’s house. Oh, to be in love,” Paolo said with a sarcastic chuckle. Sydney didn’t react to the sarcasm. “Lisa, can you make sure Andrew gets his present?”
“Sure will. Can I open mine now?”
“Lisa!” her mother said.
“Go right ahead, it’s Christmas. We should all be happy.”
Sydney sat down next to Paolo on the couch. The blazing fire lit up their faces. Sydney placed her hand on his leg. Paolo placed his hand on hers.
“Oh my God, Paolo, this is beautiful. Mom, look.”
“What a beautiful present…”
“Rio helped me pick it out, thank her.”
“Is it real?” Lisa asked.
“Lisa!” her mother exclaimed.
“Yes. It’s so you’ll never forget, a diamond lasts forever.”
Sydney hit Paolo in the arm. “That’s really corny.”
“I can’t help it,” Paolo said as he rubbed his arm.
“What did you get, Mom?”
“Lisa!” Sydney exclaimed again. “Go and get the presents under the tree for Paolo. Paolo, open your presents first,” Sydney said.
Paolo opened the present from Lisa and Andrew. He received old-style parchment paper for his writings. He unwrapped the present from Sydney. It was a 1920 gold-filled Mont Blanc fountain pen. “My God, this is beautiful. Where did you ever find it?”
“A friend of mine collects pens. She found it at an antiques dealer. I thought you would like it, since you like to write.”
“Thank you, thank you, it’s beautiful.” Paolo gave her a kiss and said, “Now yours.”
Some would say Paolo was a fool. He wanted to make Sydney happy, and he tried his best. Paolo gave her a wrapped shirt box. “This is a combined gift—you’ll understand when you open it.”
With a puzzled look on her face, Sydney opened the box. Inside was a card. Paolo snatched the card away and said, “You can read this later.” Underneath the red tissue paper, she found a pair of plane tickets—one for her and one for him.
“What’s this?” She took the tickets out of the boarding pass folder and started to cry. “This is the most wonderful present I’ve ever gotten.” She threw her arms around Paolo and kissed him passionately.
“God! Why don’t you two get a room?”
“Lisa!”
“Ah, Mom, get over it.” They started to laugh. Lisa left the two and went to family room to watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
One of Sydney’s life wishes was to celebrate her birthday in Paris before she was fifty. The present was a fourteen-day vacation, with the first stop in Paris and the last in Sorrento, Italy. That night Sydney read the card.
I love you is all I can say
In the morning when I rise
You are on my mind
I love you is all I can say
Forevermore you are in my mind
I want to love you
When you are not near, I feel despair
How I long for you to be near
As the sun radiates the ground
Your love for me makes me sound
How I long for you always
And when the day ends
And my head hits the pillow
As the moonlight dances through the window
As I sleep through the night
&
nbsp; I dream of you
I love you is all I can say
When the sun rises
And my day begins again
I think of you
I love you is all I can say
CHAPTER 58
THE WAR BETWEEN men was igniting, the evil tendrils of the devil reached for mankind. Paolo’s journal was now three-quarters full.
Paolo learned to adapt during the times of the month when Sydney’s hormones went haywire. He could do nothing, other than support her. Sydney’s thought process was muddled. She avoided Paolo when the conflict between her heart and mind began. Paolo remarked to a friend that he was dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He understood Sydney; the problem was the pain in his heart never left. The seven to ten days of upheaval tormented his mind. At one point, during one of her up mood swings, Sydney asked Paolo if he would move in with her and Lisa. For some reason, he replied, “Why don’t we wait until we return from our trip in March?” Of course, he wanted to jump at the opportunity; instead, he restrained himself.
“Can you and Rio come over for dinner tonight?” Sydney asked.
“Of course, what time would you like us to be at your house?”
“How about six? You can come over earlier if you’d like.”
“Six will be fine, depending on the traffic. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“No, just you…it’s a shame the kids will be here. I’d love to be alone with you, if you know what I mean?”
“I most certainly do.”
“Paolo?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t wait to be with you.”
“Me, too.”
Paolo picked up Rio at her mother’s house. “Hi, Dad.” She entered the car, leaned over, and kissed him on the cheek.
“How are you, my daughter? You look beautiful as always.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She flashed her perfect white teeth.
Rio was five feet seven, with flowing brown hair and beautiful green eyes. She could easily have become a model or an actor. Instead, she was in her second year of law school at Yale. The passion of Rio’s soul to correct injustice, to fight for the little person and advocate for the downtrodden, made Paolo proud. He often told her she’d been born in the wrong era. He knew all too well the need for her services in the future. His legacy to her was the resolve and the financial strength to help when the time came.
It was a cold February day. As they approached the house, a light snow began to fall.
Sydney had made chicken cutlets Milanese topped with a lemon wine sauce, a favorite of Rio and Lisa, with spinach and roasted garlic mashed potatoes.
“This is delicious, Sydney,” Rio remarked.
“Thank you, Rio.”
“Yeah, Mom. This is superb,” Lisa took a second cutlet. “Paolo, can you pass me the rolls, please?”
“Absolutely. Syd, this was an excellent meal.” Paolo handed Lisa the basket of crescent rolls.
“Not as good as yours, I’m sure.”
“Oh, I don’t know. This is good, but this is my recipe, so maybe I can take a little credit.” Paolo laughed.
“Dad!”
“Sorry, sorry.”
“Paolo, are you excited about going to Paris?”
“Sure am, Lisa. Paris is a beautiful city, from what I hear.”
“Dad, you’ve been to Paris before.”
“You have?” Sydney quipped.
“Yes, for a short period of time.”
“You never told me. Another one of your little secrets?”
Paolo picked up on the sarcasm. “National security business, I can’t talk about it.”
“National security? Come on, Dad, what are you, James Bond?”
“Funny, Rio. I did some consulting work there.”
“Yeah, okay, consulting work.” Rio rolled her eyes.
Lisa continued, “Well, James, are you going to Italy?”
“Yes, now Italy is truly beautiful. Not that I’m prejudiced, mind you, but Italy…” Paolo sat back, remembering the beauty and character of the place he wanted to retire to.
His mind took him to a room. A person was face down on a desk, a jacket covered his head. A 9mm gun lay next to him.
“Dad, Dad.” Rio’s hand shook his arm. “Are you there?”
Lisa’s hand waved in front of his eyes.
“What, what?”
“Where did you go, Pops?”
Paolo tried to shrug off the vision. “Just thinking about Italy, sorry.”
The three women looked at each other. Sydney said, “You’re weird.”
“Thanks, honey.” The four laughed. Inside, Paolo wanted to vomit. Death was on somebody’s doorstep.
“Can I go with you guys to Italy?” Lisa had just about gotten the words out of her mouth when Sydney replied, “I don’t think so.” She dragged out the word “so.”
“I’ll tell you what, Lisa. Giacomo will be home in the summer for a month. How about I take the six of us on a vacation to Italy and if you want, we can go to Paris as well.”
Lisa’s voice was filled with excitement, “Are you serious? Paolo, that would be totally awesome, all of us together. Wow.”
“What do you say, Rio, do you think you can swing it?”
“A free trip? You can bet your ass I’ll be there.”
“Syd, what do you think?”
“Sure, but we have to check with Andrew to see if he can come, and the summer is still a ways off.”
“Please, Mom, can we go?” Lisa begged.
“I think we’ll be able to swing it, but first Paris for my forty-seventh.”
CHAPTER 59
SYDNEY’S EAGERNESS TO visit the City of Lights with Paolo overshadowed the turmoil inside her. Her lifelong dream to celebrate her birthday in Paris now a reality, sharing the dream with Paolo or anyone else didn’t matter.
For Paolo, the romantic city portrayed in movies provided the background for their escape. In his mind’s eye, he could picture the Eiffel Tower in the distance, Sydney and him in a quiet embrace as they stood on a bridge over the river Seine. Their bodies formed the silhouette of a heart. The two gazed into each other’s eyes. Sydney’s hair blew in the light breeze of the warm spring day. Their lips touched in a passionate kiss that made strollers envy the two lovers…
Paolo’s intercom snapped him out of his daydream. “Yes, Rebecca?”
“Your Federal Express package is here.”
“Thank you.”
Paolo, with a little help from Rebecca, arranged their itinerary. They would stay three days in Paris, then fly to Amalfi and tour Italy for eight days. Their plan was to drive along the Amalfi coast, spend two nights in Sorrento, three nights in Ottati, and end the trip in Rome with Sergio. A hopeless romantic, Paolo decided to throw caution to the winds.
“Rebecca?”
“Yes, Paolo?”
“What time is the limo picking me up?”
“At one o’clock.”
“Good, good, good. Am I forgetting anything? Did Rio call?”
“If she had, I would have put her through.” Rebecca stood in the doorway as Paolo sifted through his desk drawers. “Paolo, what are you looking for?”
“What, what?”
“What are you looking for?” She walked closer to him.
“My stupid passport,” he said in exasperation. “I can’t remember where I put the damn thing.”
Rebecca shook her head and laughed, “Paolo, you gave it to me so you wouldn’t lose it. Your passport is in the safe with your tickets and itinerary.”
“I must be losing my mind, Rebecca. I don’t want anything to go wrong. This trip is important to Sydney—it’s a dream come true for her to be in Paris for her birthday.”
“And of course you’re going to make sure she celebrates her birthday in Paris.”
“Yes.” Paolo paused. “I sense a hidden meaning behind your words. Something on your mind?”
“Paolo, I realize you love her.” Rebecca picked her words
carefully. “But you’re not the same person lately. She’s hurting you.”
Paolo looked at her with a slight irritation in his voice. “Rebecca, I care for you, and we’ve been together for a long time. And you probably understand me better than anyone else. Even my children don’t know me as well as you do.” He stopped and looked at her as he considered the right words. “You’re partly right. But I need to figure this out myself.” Paolo started to get flustered and curtly stopped the conversation, saying, “I don’t want to talk about this right now. I’m going on vacation, and I’m going to have a fabulous time. Rebecca, I appreciate your concern, but I’m okay—there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?”
Rebecca shook her head. “Okay, Paolo. Please be careful. You mean a lot to me, too.”
“That’s why we make a good team…now leave me alone,” he said with a smile. “By the way, Rebecca, have I told you how much I like working with you?”
Rebecca laughed, “Yes, Paolo, many times.”
As she walked out of his office, Paolo said, “Rebecca, Arnaud call yet?”
“No. Would you like me to track him down?”
“No, that’s okay. He won’t let me down. I told you, he got me the Belle Etoile suite at Le Meurice.” Paolo used his best French accent although he sounded a bit like Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
“Yes, many times and yes, I know—for free.”
“I guess it helps to have friends in high places,” he retorted.
“Paolo?”
“Yes, my dear?”
Hesitantly, she said, “Don’t do anything stupid, you’ll just end up getting hurt.”
With the movement of his hands, he swooshed her out of his office. “Go, go back to work.” Paolo leaned back in his chair as she walked out of his office. Is it that noticeable?
“Paolo?” Rebecca said over the intercom.
“Yes?”
“Your booking agent is on the phone.”
“Tell Dominique I’ll call her when I get back from my trip.”
“Okay.”
Paolo’s intercom buzzed again. “Yes, Rebecca?” His voice was strained.
“Sorry, Paolo. Dominique wanted to remind you that the contracts are ready to be signed for your speaking tour.”
Messenger From God (The Last Eulogy Series Book 1) Page 26