“Here’s a personal message for you from Gil Godsend,” the man whispered in her ear. She took the card he offered and placed it in her purse.
“I’m going to count down from five, and when I do, you’ll open your eyes and feel energized, alert, and refreshed. …5…4…3…2…1…”
Gil snapped his fingers.
“Open your eyes…”
All around the room, eyes popped open and blinked at the bright lights while people stretched and yawned as they awakened from their dreamy state.
“When you go somewhere for the first time, finding your way there can be difficult, but once you’ve been there, finding the trail back is much easier and faster,” said Gil. “The place you just went to is extremely sacred and divine. When you need to go back there it will be waiting for you, and so will I,” he promised. “Thank you for joining me tonight,” he said. “I hope you found the experience to be inspirational and insightful. I look forward to seeing you all again very soon. Good night!”
Gil left the stage to wild applause.
He received a standing ovation so he returned and gave a grateful bow.
His fans filed out of the hall slowly as they gossiped about how inspiring the show was, how handsome Gil looked, and how powerful it felt just to be in his presence. They shuffled into the lobby to the merchandise table where they snatched up copies of Gil’s books, DVDs, and jewelry.
As the woman in the scarf walked quickly through the lobby she reached into her purse and pulled out the card that was given to her. It read:
I understand your pain. The time is right and the connection is strong. Join me backstage after the show for a private one-on-one reading to help you find closure.
Gil Godsend.
Claudia unwound the scarf from her head and went backstage.
Chapter 15
Claudia planned to approach Gil after the show. She was going to try to catch him exiting the backstage door, but this sudden turn of events was much better. She had been given one of the famed “P-Passes” that granted backstage access to a few selected fans and entitled them to a free psychic reading, and usually more, with none other than Gil himself.
During her research over the years she’d only heard rumors about these P-Passes. Until now she wasn’t even sure if they really existed or if they were just urban legend. Supposedly, “P” stood for “Premonition”, but she’d heard that his crew jokingly referred to them as “Pussy Passes”. They were handed out to women handpicked by the crew from the audience, like Gil was some kind of rock star.
Claudia didn’t even have to dress like a bimbo to score this pass. Upon entrance to the theater, all attendees were asked to fill out a card “for marketing purposes”. It asked for all kinds of personal information; name, address, hobbies, and who you hoped to hear from that night. This was a classic hot reading scam. These cards were collected before the show and Claudia believed the information was used in Gil’s act, and for him to procure willing women afterwards. Claudia got lucky pretending to be a young widow hoping to communicate with her deceased husband.
She walked back into the theater and approached the stage. A menacing-looking bodyguard stood at the top of the stairs. She climbed the steps but he blocked her entrance, his muscles rippling as he folded his arms.
“You need to pay the toll if you wanna pass,” he said as he leered at her.
“The toll?” she asked. “What do you mean?”
“The TOLL, sweetheart,” he boomed as he grabbed his crotch.
“Oh. You’re asking me for a blow job?” she asked innocently.
“I’m telling you to give me a blow job, sweetheart…that is, if you want to meet Mr. Godsend…”
Was he serious? This was a psychic show, not a 1970s KISS concert.
“I can give you a kick in the balls instead,” Claudia said, poker-faced.
“You’re a feisty one!” he bellowed as he moved in towards her menacingly. “Let me hear you say that again with my dick in your mouth.”
She quickly flashed her P-Pass.
“But I have one of these,” she said.
He backed off. Then he inspected the pass carefully because some of these crazy chicks were known to forge these precious cards. This one seemed legit. Then he looked her up and down. She was definitely Gil’s type. In fact, she was his type too. On occasion, he was the lucky recipient of a leftover groupie. He didn’t even mind a used one. Sometimes he liked them that way. He might get a crack at this chick after Gil was finished with her. Satisfied that the P-Pass was authentic, he handed it back to her with a knowing smile.
She shuddered. He clearly thought that she and Gil were going to…ugh…
“Mr. Godsend is freshening up after his performance. I’ll take you back to the green room to wait for him, sweetheart,” he sneered. He led her there and slapped her on the backside, which propelled her into the room. “Get yourself a drink,” he ordered.
What a misogynistic piece of shit. She still wanted to kick him in the balls.
Claudia was the first person to arrive at the green room. It was tastefully decorated with modern furniture and plush carpet…all in complementary shades of green. Only Gil would insist that his green room actually be green.
The food was color-coordinated to match the décor too. Claudia reached for a delicate display of green grapes and tapped them to make sure the perfectly shiny grapes weren’t made of glass. They were real, so she grabbed a bunch and nibbled at them. There was enough catered food and drink for him to have invited the entire audience backstage.
She started to feel a little nervous, she hadn’t seen Gil in years and she didn’t know what to expect, so she snatched a bottle of chardonnay and poured herself a glass of liquid courage. Then she poured herself another one. Soon, the room began filling up with reporters, fans, groupies, and various hangers-on who were there for the after party. She made an attempt to mingle, but she hadn’t had enough to drink to deal with this awful crowd of sycophants who only wanted to talk about Gil.
Claudia found a corner of the room and stood watching the spectacle from a safe distance. She jumped when she looked down and noticed a very short man looking up at her. He looked like a smaller clone of Gil.
“Excuse me, Miss. I’m one of Mr. Godsend’s assistants. I’m here to take you to meet him,” he said in a voice that was a higher-pitched version of Gil’s. He reminded her of Austin Powers’ “Mini-Me” character and “Tattoo” from Fantasy Island.
He took her by the arm gently and led her to a private room.
Gil wasn’t there yet.
“Can I get you anything? An alcoholic beverage, perhaps?” he asked.
“No, thanks,” she replied.
Geez, they were really pushing the booze. Gil clearly liked his clients to be liquored up for their readings.
The Mini-Gil left her alone to wait and she took in her surroundings. In the center of the room was a table with a burning candle that smelled of sandalwood, and the ubiquitous box of tissues. It didn’t escape her attention that there was an adjoining room that contained a large bed. Gross.
Claudia took off her trench coat, sat down at the table, and waited…and waited…and waited…This bullshit was typical of Gil’s one-upmanship; all of his decadence and flashy displays of wealth, the mystery and secrecy, and then making people wait for him.
Suddenly, the door flung open wide and Gil stood there with his back to her as he signed autographs for a group of fans. She rolled her eyes. More one-upmanship, she thought. His fans eventually left, and then finally, he turned around to face her.
She was annoyed with herself when her heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t seen Gil in person for many years. The last time she saw him he’d been a youth, and now he was a man. A very handsome man.
She had to stifle a giggle though when she saw that he was wearing a green shirt and tie to match the green room.
But Gil was caught off guard.
“Hello, Gil,” she said.
; He stood there, staring at her.
“Gil?”
He was speechless.
“You seem surprised,” she said. “Is this where I insert a joke about you being psychic so you should have seen this coming?”
“…You…” he whispered.
“Yes, me,” she confirmed. “I guess it was synchronicity that I was handed one of your… ahem… Pussy Passes. You were right, after all. There are no coincidences!”
Gil straightened his tie and regained his composure.
“I’ve always told you so, Claudia… or should I call you, Mary of Moraga?”
That was the fake name she’d used when she called into Johnny Lombard’s radio show the day Gil was being interviewed. She suspected then that he knew who she was.
“How did you know that?” she asked.
“I’m psychic,” he said with a grin. “And my condolences. I’m so sorry to hear that your Uncle Kevin passed…and your husband too, apparently…”
“Oh yes, my fake husband,” she said. “He was still a better choice than you.”
“Ouch! That hurt!” he said as he patted his heart. “So, how did you enjoy the show tonight?”
“I’m impressed. You’ve become a slick act,” she complimented him.
She meant it too. She didn’t have any respect for his deception, but she couldn’t help admiring his showmanship.
“Why, thank you,” he said, as he joined her at the table.
“That was a nice touch about the spirit forcing you to buy the groceries and the big underpants,” she said. “I’ve never seen that trick before. Well done. It made me think of the unpopular kid in school who buys lunch for the other children so they’ll like him.”
“Ah, you can take the girl out of skepticism but you can’t take the skepticism out of the girl!” he said with a wink.
“I know that’s how you like your women, not questioning anything.”
Gil laughed.
He had a warm, infectious laugh and Claudia couldn’t help smiling.
“Not the women I care about,” he said pointedly. “Claudia, I’ve missed this banter with you… Isn’t this the part of our fight where we make up and go to bed together?”
The smile ran away from her face.
“I’m onto you, Gil Godsend.”
“Well, not yet, but you could be,” he said with a motion of his hand towards the bed in the next room.
Didn’t he ever stop thinking about sex?
“No,” he replied out loud to her thought.
“How can you joke about this?” she cried in frustration. “I know what you did to those poor women who had private readings at your home,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “They came to me asking for my help. You’re exploiting the suffering of grieving people!”
“I gave them piece of mind and closure,” Gil replied in earnest.
“By fucking them?” She shook her head. “You’re a fraud...”
“Keep saying that and I’ll sue you for slander,” Gil threatened.
“Only the guilty sue for slander”, she snapped back. “But there are other names I can call you that’ll get around those pesky libel laws, like asshole, motherfucker, and prick!”
“That’s not what you used to call me,” he said with a sly smile.
She looked away as she recalled an uncomfortable memory of the two of them, naked, sweaty, and writhing on the bed together. Her face turned bright red.
Why did she ever have sex with this jerk?
“Because we were in love and engaged to be married,” Gil said.
She hated it when he seemed to know what she was thinking, but she believed that he wasn’t reading her mind, only her body language. This was just another cold reading trick.
“Don’t remind me,” she said.
She got out of her chair and stood over him.
“Do you really think I’m here to reminisce about the old times? I’m here to put you on notice. Your unethical behavior will not continue. I’m going to expose your scam to the public!”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, really? I think you’re trying to take me down because you’ve always liked my second coming…”
She raised an eyebrow and smiled.
“That’s because your first was always too quick.”
Gil rose from his seat. Claudia was a tall woman but he still towered over her.
“When will you ever learn, Claudia?” he said in a patronizing tone, making her feel like she was a little girl being rebuked by her father. “Every time the skeptics attack psychics, they attack personal belief systems. Aggressive tactics don’t change minds. People only defend their beliefs more passionately. You’re telling people they’re wrong and stupid but then expecting to persuade them to side with you. You’ll lose every time.”
He stood there staring down at her with his piercing blue eyes.
It was unnerving.
“Claudia…” he said, his voice softening. “I emailed you a few years ago.”
“I know. I ignored you.”
“Yes, you did,” he said.
She was surprised that he sounded hurt.
“Claudia…”
He still hadn’t taken his eyes off her and she felt awkward at this unexpected turn of events.
“Claudia… You’re even more beautiful than I remember you.”
Did she just batter her eyelids at Gil? Yes, she did. She looked away.
She thought he’d grown even more handsome over the years, but she wasn’t going to say so. She had despising him down to an art form, and she just wasn’t prepared to give or receive compliments.
“Claudia…I’ve missed you.”
She said nothing.
“I wish…” his voice trailed off.
All of a sudden he was dangerously close to her. He reached out and touched her shoulder cautiously, and then he drew her towards him. He laid his cheek against her head and began stroking her hair. It all felt so familiar to her and she found herself nuzzling into his chest. Her eyes closed for a moment.
What was she doing?
She snapped out of it and pulled away from him.
“Please… don’t,” she mumbled as she started putting on her trench coat. “I have to go.”
“So, you don’t want that free psychic reading?”
“I’ve had enough of psychics for one night,” she said in exasperation. “Speaking of which, I Love You Just The Way You Are was playing in my head during the show too. That’s because I heard it on the radio on the way here! I think you did a hot reading on that woman, and then you called in a favor with one of your buddies to play the song because it played on your old radio station, K.N.O.W. Most of your crazy fans would be listening to that new age crap on the way to your show tonight. Shared experience, my ass!”
She opened the door to leave.
“Then again, it could be that I’m truly psychic,” he replied. “In fact, I have an urgent message from beyond that you mustn’t ignore. Your Aunt Flo says it was a mistake to wear those white silk panties today…”
She looked down at her navy-colored dress. There was no way he could tell if she was on her period, unless he had x-ray vision. How dare he?
“You haven’t heard the last of me!” she warned him, her amber eyes flashing angrily.
“I hope not,” he said with his annoying grin.
She stormed out the door and slammed it behind her.
Chapter 16
Claudia was at her local shopping mall where she’d just finished a job. Her client wanted her to test her husband who was a sales assistant in a ladies fashion store. Apparently he seemed to think that every woman in the shop was also shopping for a man.
As soon as Claudia walked into the store her target zeroed in on her like a heat-seeking missile. He was full of flattery, but then his job was commission-based. Claudia gave him the benefit of the doubt until he stormed in on her “accidentally” while she was trying on a sweater in the changing room. He was mortified
by his indiscretion, but he copped a lustful look at her. Then he had the gall to recommend she try on some of the lingerie they just got in stock. She declined politely; she wasn’t about to get caught by him again. The persistent creep then asked for her phone number and invited her out for a coffee before she could finally tear herself away from him.
Now it was time to do a little shopping for herself. Browsing became buying when she spied a designer handbag she’d been stalking for months, which was finally on sale. She even tried on some sweaters in a department store where the assistants didn’t barge in on her as she was changing. Then she had a coffee…by herself.
She had just walked into a lingerie shop to buy some black silk panties to replace the white pair she ruined the night before when her phone rang.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she groaned, thinking it was that creep from the clothing store.
She was relieved to discover that it was Banachek. He was calling from a restaurant in Rio de Janeiro where he was waiting for the bowl of fresh fruit he’d just ordered. He was in Brazil to plan an elaborate illusion in which the Christ the Redeemer statue would dance on top of the Corcovado Mountain during Carnival.
“How did it go at Gil’s show last night, my friend?” he asked.
She drew a deep breath.
“It was like a rock concert and Gil was the rock star,” said Claudia. “He had the audience in the palm of his hand all night. He’s up to his same old tricks, and he’s picked up some new ones along the way too,” she reported.
Claudia told Banachek about the spirit that forced Gil to buy gifts for an audience member, and the crowd’s “shared experience” of hearing a Billy Joel song that had mysteriously played on the radio just before the show. She told him how Gil seemed to know too much, but when he made a mistake he invented creative excuses about “psychic interference” and “psychic amnesia” to explain his misses.
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