This time, she had to try something different…
One morning she was sitting at her desk and sipping on her morning latte when she received a call from Banachek.
“Hello, my friend,” he said. “I’m stuck in Cairo airport on a four-hour layover. I was bored and thought I’d give you a call.”
How could he be bored in Egypt? Images of the pyramids, the Great Sphinx and the River Nile ran through her mind. She needed a vacation.
“Wow! Did you get to see the pyramids?” she asked.
“I’m actually in Cairo, Illinois,” he said apologetically. “You know, I just learned that there are 20 Cairos in the U.S alone!” he marveled.
“You really are bored!” she said as he chuckled.
“Look, I’ve been worried about you,” said Banachek. “I haven’t heard from you in weeks.”
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” she said. “I’ve been a hermit since my appearance on Night Owl.”
“I’m so sorry about that fiasco,” he said. “Michael Michaels is a sleazy son-of-a-bitch.”
He didn’t know the half of it. Claudia was embarrassed that Banachek knew about her past, but he was practical about it.
“Young people do things they later regret,” he said. “There are plenty of unscrupulous people waiting to take advantage of others. You know that from your own work. I’m not going to judge you. I’m not a religious man, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Claudia didn’t confide in him about the assault. She was too ashamed.
Banachek asked what she’d been up to so she told him about her research but that she wasn’t sure what to do next.
“Well, we know Gil’s modus operandi,” said Banachek. “He does background research on his clients then during the session he convinces her that he can channel her dead husband. Then he manipulates her into having sex with him. Why don’t you catch him in the act?”
“How do I do that?”
“Did you ever watch Possessed Possessions?” Banachek asked.
“That TV show where ghost hunters track down haunted items in people’s homes?”
“That’s the one.”
On Possessed Possessions, a ghost hunting team visited homes that were plagued by paranormal activity. Their theory was that haunted objects in the home were causing the hauntings, and especially objects that had been used in satanic rituals. The team traced the phenomena to the most stereotypically haunted object in the house, usually a creepy-looking doll or a family heirloom. Then they removed the item, to protect the family, of course, and added it to their museum of haunted items in Salem, Massachusetts. Curiously, they removed a lot of “haunted” jewelry and antiques.
“The producer once offered me a substantial amount of money to fake paranormal activity on the show,” revealed Banachek. “He wanted to scare the crew.”
“I always knew that show was a sham!” said Claudia.
“I wouldn’t do it,” said Banachek. “He later denied that he’d made the offer. I wish I’d recorded his conversation at the time to catch him. Lesson learned. So, why don’t you find a decoy, set her up with a fake story, and catch Gil when he tries to take advantage of her?”
“A sting? That’s a great idea!”
She hadn’t done a sting in many years and she missed the thrill of it all. She loved plotting and setting up the target and the big reveal at the end. She could already see the look of shock on Gil’s face when she exposed him as a fraud.
It was all so cloak and dagger.
Banachek had to leave. He wanted to find out how many Londons there are in the United States.
Claudia needed someone she could trust for this assignment, so she decided to use one of her colleagues from Suspicious Minds. She went through her books to find a suitable decoy for Gil. Most of the women did spouse surveillance as a second job so they could make some extra money. Some were students working for her as they worked their way through a degree. They were all beautiful women, but they were also accomplished and clever. Gil wasn’t an idiot, and she needed someone who could outwit him.
She interviewed a few potential candidates for the project.
Her first interview was with Mary.
Claudia was sitting at her desk when there was a knock at the door.
“Come in!”
Mary sashayed into her office. She was a tall, tanned brunette from Brazil who had a Bachelor of Engineering. Mary was intelligent and exotic and just the type of girl Gil liked. He wouldn’t be able to resist her.
“What do you want to see me about, Boss?” she asked.
Claudia invited her to sit down and told her about the project. “If you took on this job you’d go undercover as a client to expose a psychic medium. Do you think this is something you’d like to do?”
Mary took a deep breath.
“I don’t think we’ve ever had to discuss religion on the job,” she replied. “So I’ve never told you that I’m a strict Roman Catholic.” Mary reached into her green crew neck sweater and pulled out a round gold pendant. “This is a St. Christopher medal. It belonged to my mother and I wear it all the time for protection. I go to church every Sunday morning and receive Holy Communion. I’m even in the church choir.”
Claudia realized this was why Mary was never available for jobs on Sundays.
“Conjuring up spirits and evoking the dead is the sin of necromancy. It’s strictly forbidden by the Church,” she said sternly. “You’ve been a wonderful boss to me and I’d do almost anything for you, but I can’t risk my mortal soul,” she said as she made the sign of the cross.
“I understand,” said Claudia.
“Thank you,” said Mary as she stood up to leave. “And I’ll pray for you this Sunday.”
Claudia’s second interview was with Kim, a student from Korea who was finishing her PhD in agriculture at the University of California, Berkeley. She was a hard scientist. Surely she wouldn’t believe in “conjuring up spirits”.
There was a knock on Claudia’s door.
“Come in!”
Kim walked into the office and took a seat. She was a petite lady with glossy long black hair and porcelain skin. Claudia thought she had the perfect looks to lure Gil.
“You wanted to see me, Boss?” she asked.
“Yes, Kim. But before we begin, do you have any religious leanings that would preclude you from working with a psychic?” asked Claudia.
“Not at all,” replied Kim.
Claudia breathed a sigh of relief and told her about the project, without naming names.
“Do you think this is something you’d like to do?”
“Absolutely!” Kim said enthusiastically. “I’d love to bust a fake psychic. They make the real ones look bad.”
“The real ones?” asked Claudia, dumbfounded.
“Yeah, the psychics with real powers, like Gil Godsend. Have you heard of him? He’s amazingly accurate…and cute too!” she gushed.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, thought Claudia.
Claudia’s third interview was with Ana. She worked in cyber security during the day and at night she worked at Suspicious Minds to earn extra cash. She was trying to save enough for a deposit on a house so she could move out of her mother’s place. She wanted a home in the Bay Area so it was going to take her a while.
There was a knock on Claudia’s door.
“Come in!”
Ana walked into the room and took a seat. Aside from being a talented young woman, she was a Slavic beauty with feline features and a seductive gaze.
“You wanted to talk with me about something, Boss?”
“Yes. I have a special assignment for you.”
Claudia asked her if she’d like to go undercover to expose a psychic. Ana was happy to help bust a psychic because she didn’t believe in them.
Ana Stanich grew up in a superstitious household. Her mother, Slobodanka, was nicknamed Slob, although she didn’t know the meaning of the word in English. She believed that demons an
d curses lurked everywhere. She lived in fear of everything, especially since Ana’s father Dragan died.
Slob was Serbian Orthodox and her home was decorated with gaudy religious art. She was so religious that Ana was named after Saint Anastasija, the family’s patron saint. Slob had a wooden icon of Saint Anastasija hanging in the living room that had an oily streak dripping from the Saint’s eye. Slob believed her icon was weeping holy tears. Ana confessed that, during a teenage slumber party, a food fight had ensued, resulting in fried chicken being tossed at the icon. Slob refused to believe the oil was from a secular source. The smear had even fooled their priest. It was a miracle, not a grease stain.
But Slob’s most prized possession was a First Class holy relic, a piece of wood from the True Cross. She bought it from a peddler when she was on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje, the site where the Virgin Mary supposedly appeared back in the 1980s. The relic was on display in a special reliquary in the living room. Ana didn’t have the heart to tell her mother that she’d wasted $1,000 on a fake splinter purchased from a con artist.
Slob also believed in psychics. She saw a psychic regularly, and she read people’s fortunes in their coffee cups. Only yesterday she read the pattern of the muddy sediment on the bottom of Ana’s cup of Turkish coffee. She predicted that Ana would marry a nice Serbian boy and they would have beautiful Serbian babies. But of course, her mother was trying to marry her off to a nice Serbian boy so they would have beautiful Serbian babies.
Over pizza and a pint of pomegranate cider at a local microbrewery, Claudia briefed Ana on her mission. Now she could finally reveal the name of their target.
Gil Godsend.
“Oh, I fucking HATE Gil Godsend!” Ana cried in disgust. “My father died when I was a little kid and ever since then I’ve despised these charlatans who take advantage of the bereaved.”
This was exactly Claudia’s situation.
“But my mother adores him,” Ana continued. “She paid big bucks to have a psychic reading with him a few years ago. He knew lots of specific stuff about my family. I suspected he was doing a hot reading.”
Claudia beamed. Here was someone she could finally talk to! Ana knew all about hot reading and cold reading. She had even read Carl Sagan’s The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark. She was smart, stunning, and a skeptic.
Claudia had an instant girl crush on her.
After they bitched about Gil over a few more drinks, Claudia got down to business. She had invented a detailed story for Ana’s past.
“Your pseudonym is Nina Novakov,” said Claudia. “You’re the widow of Zoran Novakov. Zoran was 6’4” tall, with curly light brown hair and dark brown eyes. You lived in the city of Kraljevo, nestled between the Kotlenick and Stolovi mountains. Zoran was a pilot with the 98th Brigade in the Serbian Air Force. He died when he was aged 28. The official military explanation was that he suffered a fatal accident during a “training exercise”. You suspect that this was a government cover-up and that his plane was shot down during counter terrorism action. After his death, you immigrated to the United States to start a new life with your 4-year-old son, Nikolas.”
Now you rent a small house in Novato, California, where the two of you live with Sir Jasper, your pet beagle. You work as a translator and Nikolas is in first grade in school. Your favorite food is sarma, cabbage rolls stuffed with pork, rice and herbs, and you have a blog about Serbian recipes that your grandmother used to make. Your grandmother’s name was Zorka.”
“My grandmother’s name was Zorka.”
“Then your grandmother’s name was Anya,” corrected Claudia, making a note about the change on her phone. “Your favorite alcoholic drink is Kruskovac, a liqueur made from pears. Your favorite color is blue and your favorite precious stone is sapphire. Zoran bought you this sapphire necklace for your first wedding anniversary.” Claudia handed Ana a sterling silver necklace with a pear-shaped faux sapphire pendant. “Since his death the pear-shaped pendant looks like a tear to you. You wear this necklace always.”
Ana took off the gold necklace she was wearing and put it in her clutch purse. Then she put the fake sapphire pendant around her neck.
“Oh, and be sure to speak with a Slavic accent and throw in an occasional word in Serbian to make your character seem authentic,” advised Claudia.
“I can do that!” said Ana.
“You need to memorize these details carefully,” said Claudia. “I’ve set up fake social media profiles and a blog that contains this information. Your website is called Nina’s Journey. I suspect that Gil will Google your fake history before your appointment.”
Then Claudia asked Ana to stand in front of a white wall in the microbrewery.
“Look sad for the camera,” she directed. She took a photograph of Ana. “I’m going to post this photo to your fake blog and say that this was a picture of you at Zoran’s funeral.”
Ana was wearing a simple brown shift dress and ivory pearl earrings.
“Be sure to wear this same outfit to the appointment, which is tomorrow afternoon at 5pm. I’ve already paid for your session. Because it’s a last minute reading it’s classified as an “Urgent Charity Appointment” and it cost $3,000 instead of the usual $1,000.”
Ana flinched at this ridiculous cost.
“You mean he charges extra for people who are desperate but calls it ‘charity’?”
“Of course!” said Claudia. “Gil is a cold, heartless fraud who only cares about ripping people off.”
“How are we going to catch him in the act?” asked Ana.
“We’re going to record your session with him. You’ll call me when you arrive and I’ll set my phone to record your conversation,” explained Claudia. “I’m no psychic, but I predict he’ll start by saying, “Your husband is here with us now…” Then he’ll proceed to give you an inaccurate reading based on your fake profile. We’re going to catch him in a hot reading and prove that he cheats. Then he’ll try to manipulate you into having sex with him.”
“Well, we’ll just see about that!” said Ana confidently.
Catching Gil wasn’t any more dangerous than spouse surveillance, which involved flirting with strangers but avoiding their advances. Some men would get physical, so the women had to be able to protect themselves. All of Claudia’s colleagues were trained in self-defense and carried pepper spray or a stun gun for their own safety. Ana carried a pepper spray that looked like a lipstick. She also wore a pair of steel-toed high heels and she wasn’t afraid to use them on a man’s most tender parts.
“When we have Gil’s fake reading and dirty little proposition on record we’ll break the story to the media. Hopefully this will be the end of his career,” she said gleefully.
“Let’s do it!” cried Ana.
They smiled at each other in nervous excitement and drank a toast to a successful sting.
Chapter 21
Ana drove up the steep, winding road leading to Gil’s house. Playing the role of Nina Novakov, she wore the pear-shaped faux sapphire pendant that “Zoran” had given to her as a gift to celebrate their first wedding anniversary and the brown shift dress and ivory pearl earrings that she had worn to his “funeral”. She stayed up late the night before, memorizing the fake identity Claudia designed for her.
Now she was ready to bust this psychic fraud…
As she walked up the path to Gil’s door, Ana dialed Claudia’s phone.
“I’m at the target’s house, Boss.”
“Excellent. Good luck.”
Claudia muted her phone and started recording the call. Ana slipped her cell phone into her clutch and rang Gil’s doorbell.
Gil answered the door, impeccably dressed in a navy blue suit with a subtle plaid pattern. Ana thought he was very good-looking and imposingly tall.
“Mrs. Novakov. Come in!” he waved her inside. “It’s delightful to meet you.”
Ana stepped inside his house and smiled charmingly.
“Thanks you wery much for see
ing me at shorts notice, Mr. Godsend,” she said in broken English. She made sure she transposed her ‘v’s and ‘w’s just the way her mom did.
“I have an incredibly tight schedule,” Gil replied. “But I have a duty to make time for people who are in desperate need of the help that only I can provide.”
He was good-looking, but geez, he was full of himself, she thought.
“May I make you a cup of mugwort tea, Mrs. Novakov?” Gil offered. “I find it enhances my abilities and enables a greater sensitivity.”
Was that a double entendre? Gross.
“Da, hvala, Mr. Godsend.”
“Although you’re not pregnant, are you?” he asked. “Mugwort is very dangerous for pregnant women.”
You’re the psychic, you tell me!
“Ne, Mr. Godsend,” she answered politely.
“I didn’t think so.”
Nice save, she thought.
“But I sense that your mother desperately wants you to have babies.”
Okay, that was true, but weren’t most mothers desperate for their daughters to have babies?
“Feel free to look around the reading room and I’ll be right back,” Gil said.
He disappeared into the kitchen to brew the mugwort tea. Ana had already resolved to not drink it. Who knows what he might put into the tea? Maybe this was how he got his clients into bed. Anyway, the drink sounded repulsive. Wasn’t mugwort the stuff you use to keep moths away from clothing?
Ana took a look around the room. Gil had a beautiful home that was no doubt built and furnished off the back of his gullible clients. After all, this “Urgent Charity Appointment” had cost $3,000. So much for charity… The reading room was a mix of contemporary designer furniture and antiques. Was that an authentic Fabergé egg on the mantelpiece? Well, that was a Porsche Spyder parked in front of his home. For someone so spiritually enlightened he seemed pretty wrapped up in materialistic things.
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