Then Claudia did a background check on Ted. She discovered that this was his second marriage. Clearly, Angela had more patience because Ted’s first marriage had only lasted two years. She also discovered that he had current profiles on the dating sites Date with Destiny, One Night Stand, and High Infidelity, a site for people looking to cheat with fellow pot smokers. Ted had some gall as he used his own photographs on his profiles but he had adopted the fake name Simon Tingle.
In her digging, Claudia found out how Gil and Ted met. Six years before, Ted worked as a bouncer in a bar. One night Gil happened to be enjoying a Belgian dark ale in the same establishment. A female patron who’d had too much to drink started flirting with Gil. Things heated up quickly and the two of them decided to leave the bar and go back to Gil’s place for a nightcap.
However, the woman’s husband wasn’t too happy about the decision.
He confronted Gil.
“You like messing with other men’s wives, do you?” he spluttered. “I’m gonna sheat the bit out of you!”
“I don’t foresee that in my future,” replied Gil calmly.
The man took a drunken swipe at Gil. He missed.
Ted intervened. He didn’t miss.
As the guy nursed his bleeding nose he mumbled something inappropriate about Ted’s mother. Ted liked to say a lot of inappropriate things about other people’s mothers, but he didn’t tolerate such remarks about his own. He responded by breaking the guy’s nose. The police were called to the scene and Ted was arrested for aggravated battery. He spent the night in jail, but strangely, no charges were pressed. Claudia wondered if Gil had something to do with that. Ted did lose his job though, but Gil promised, “You’ll always have a job with me.” He had been Gil’s right hand man ever since.
And of course, Gil took the woman back to his place that night…
Claudia started preparing to attend the book signing. She wanted to look a little different that night, but she didn’t need to hide because this was more of a reconnaissance mission. She straightened her naturally wavy hair and changed the part. She went with natural make-up, just a few swipes of mascara and a quick sweep of pink lip-gloss. She was going to a book signing, not a cocktail party or a nightclub, so she dressed casually. She wore a white t-shirt and a pair of denim shorts with tan-colored ankle boots. She threw on a black blazer to pull the outfit together.
Claudia didn’t think Ted would recognize her anyway. He was the kind of guy who didn’t pay much attention to women’s faces.
The book signing was held at Read Handed, a bookstore and coffee shop in downtown San Francisco. Gil was doing a reading from his book Messages From The Other Side and signing copies. Claudia had seen advertisements for the event over the past few days but she hadn’t planned on attending until Angela turned up at her office.
When Claudia arrived at the bookstore she was stunned to see that the line of people waiting to meet Gil was so long that it snaked around the entire building and spilled out onto the street. They looked like die-hard fans lined up to see a rock band. On the inside the line zigzagged throughout the store.
There must have been a thousand people there to see Gil and this was only one book signing of several that had been held across the Bay Area. Claudia was shocked by the staggering popularity of his books. She had several books published too; they debunked UFOs, ghosts, psychics, and other paranormal phenomena, the very stuff that Gil wrote about as a believer. Unlike Gil’s books, hers had gone nowhere, even though they had involved painstaking research and took her years to write. Gil’s books made it to the New York Times best sellers list. Claudia’s books barely fell below one million on the Amazon best sellers list. As a publisher once said to her, “Gil’s message is inspirational. Yours is…depressing…”
People prefer fiction to fact, she thought to herself.
Claudia could see Gil in the distance. This wasn’t one of those book signings where the author sits behind a table, squirming in discomfort because no one knows or cares who he is. Gil was busy interacting with his numerous fans, signing books, giving hugs, and taking photographs with people. There were widows who hoped that while they were getting their books signed their deceased loved ones would stop by with a message for them, and there were fans who were there to flirt with Gil.
He didn’t seem to see Claudia. His psychic antenna must have been switched off.
It had been a few months since Claudia had seen Ted, so she checked the photo Angela had sent to her. She scanned the room but she couldn’t see him anywhere. Had he lied to Angela about where he’d be that night? Was he out with another woman? Or was he in the stockroom with one of the female employees?
Then there he was. He swaggered as he went up and down the line chatting with the attendees, but mostly flirting with women. He wore a tight black t-shirt that showed off a tattoo of a green dragon that ran down his right arm. It also displayed his hard-earned muscles to maximum effect. Ted spent all of his spare time at the gym, admiring himself in the full-length mirrors and watching other people to see if they were watching him. They often were. He was a good-looking guy and women were attracted to him. He was six foot four and ripped, so they assumed he was well endowed. Mother Nature can be a cruel mistress.
Claudia moved in closer so that she could overhear his conversations.
“You know, I can get you in to see Gil for a private reading tonight,” he bragged to one woman. “Give me your phone number.”
She duly scribbled her number on a scrap of paper. Now Claudia knew how he got the number that Angela found in his shirt pocket.
“Have you got a book for Gil to sign?” he asked another woman. She nodded. “I can see something else he’d wanna sign,” he said as he leered at her cleavage.
Claudia was recording all of this on her phone.
Soon Ted was coming her way.
As he approached, Claudia grabbed the nearest book off the shelf and pretended to be engrossed in reading it, hoping he would walk right past her.
It was too late; he’d already seen her ass.
“That book’s an oldie but a goodie,” he said to her.
She flipped the book around to look at the title. It was a copy of the Kama Sutra.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, she thought.
“Sure it’s an old book, but the parts are still the same,” she replied.
Why did she say that?
Ted laughed uproariously.
“Yes, that’s very true,” he said as he cast a look at her long legs. “Are you here tonight to see Gil, doll?”
Ted didn’t recognize her!
This was her chance to work him…
“That depends. Are you Gil?” she asked with a slow blink of her eyes.
Ted was surprised. He was unaccustomed to this kind of easy flirtation at these events where he usually had to compete with Gil for women. Yet here was a woman who didn’t know or care about Gil Godsend!
“I’m not,” he admitted. “Gil Godsend is a famous psychic medium. He’s here for a book signing. I’m his assistant, Ted.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Ted. I’m Angela,” she said. Claudia thought she saw him flinch a little at the mention of his wife’s name. “So that means you’re sticking around here for a while?” she said with a glance at the long line.
“I am.”
“Me too. I’m just…browsing,” she said, as she looked him up and down. As she did she flashed a look at Ted’s left hand and noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring.
“But I won’t be here all night long,” he said. “How about you and I grab a drink afterwards?” he asked her breasts.
Gotcha! She thought.
“I’d love to. I’m already building up quite a thirst,” she said as she bit her lower lip coyly. She couldn’t believe he was buying her corny flirting.
“Great!”
Ted was in, or so he thought. He probably wouldn’t even have to get her liquored up first.
“There’s a bar nearby on P
olk Street called the Sasquatch Shack,” he said as he wrote down his number and handed it to her. “It’s nice and…intimate. Let’s say we meet there about 9pm.”
“I’ll be there.”
“And keep reading the Kama Sutra,” he said with a nod towards the book. “Later tonight you can show me what you’ve learned…”
Chapter 28
Claudia arrived at the Sasquatch Shack at about 8:30 pm. The pub had a rustic log cabin theme. It was cozy, with a wood-burning fireplace warming the room, although the decor was tacky. The staff dressed as lumberjacks, including the women who wore midriff-baring flannel shirts, tiny shorts, and knee-high boots. No wonder Ted liked it here. There was a mounted moose head on the wall with a framed sign next to it that said, “Please Don’t Touch The Moose”. Bronze hurricane lanterns sat on the tables and elk antler chandeliers dangled from the ceiling. An enormous Sasquatch statue took pride of place at the end of the room. The host seated Claudia in a booth right next to it. The Sasquatch seemed to be looking down at her and saying, “You’re the one who doesn’t believe in me!”
Claudia wondered if Ted would stand her up. In her line of work, married men often talked big but then chickened out. Maybe he was all talk but no action? She swiped on another layer of pink lip-gloss and waited.
Sure enough, Ted arrived just before 9 pm. The San Francisco chill had set in for the night and he wore a khaki jacket that was a size too small so it would show off his biceps.
As Ted walked into the pub he wondered if Angela would stand him up, but there she was, waiting for him. He was mildly surprised that such a classy chick agreed to meet up with him, but on second thought, why the hell wouldn’t she? He was a hunk. It unnerved him that she had the same name as his wife, but at least he wouldn’t call out the wrong name in bed…
He slid into the seat opposite her.
“Hi, doll. You look lovely tonight,” he said with a wink.
Wow, that’s original, she thought.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she replied.
“Thanks for meeting me here.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
Ted watched her pink-painted lips as she spoke and imagined them wrapped around his shaft. What a little slut, he thought.
“It’s getting hot in here,” he said as he fanned himself with his hand.
“If you think it’s hot in here now, just you wait,” she said with a knowing smile.
Claudia needed alcohol fast if she had to be this clichéd. Fortunately, the server came over to their table. When she saw Ted she rolled her eyes.
“I see you’re back again so soon, but with another woman.”
Ouch! This must be the place where he brings his prey, thought Claudia.
“You must have me mistaken for someone else,” Ted replied to the server.
“What can I get you, honey?” she asked Claudia, almost sympathetically.
“I’ll have a Long Island Iced Tea, thanks.”
Ted grinned to himself. Long Island Iced Tea was the Rohypnol of cocktails. They’re so potent that each drink should come with a complimentary condom. He wouldn’t have any problems getting into this one’s pants.
“And for you, Ted?”
“A brown ale,” he grunted.
The server glanced at the sophisticated-looking Claudia and said in a spooky voice, “Ted, I see rejection in your future…”
“And I see your tip getting smaller,” he said, smacking her on the ass as she walked away.
The server brought Ted a bottle of Arrogant Bastard ale. How fitting, Claudia thought. All of this flirting was making her feel nauseous, so she looked for a way to get straight to the point.
“Ted, you said that you work for a psychic?” she asked as she sipped on her drink.
“I do. Gil Godsend. He’s the world’s greatest psychic.”
“I don’t think I told you that I’m a psychic too,” she said.
Ted chuckled.
“Oh, really? Why don’t you give me a reading?”
This should be good, he thought, as he took a sip of his drink.
“I’m not the world’s greatest psychic, but I’ll give it a shot,” she said with a charming smile. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out deeply. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “…My spirit guide tells me that your name is… Ted Brown.”
He laughed. This one was cute but she was an idiot. Just the way he liked them.
“Nope.”
Claudia pretended to be embarrassed.
“Let me try again… My spirit guide tells me your name is…Ted Todd Ray.”
Ted nearly choked on his beer.
She continued.
“The spirits say that you’re married…even though you’re not wearing your wedding ring.”
His face started to turn white.
“…I sense that your wife’s name is… Angela…. I feel that you’ve been married for… seven years and that you have three beautiful children… I’m getting the impression that their names are Oliver… Emma… and you have a newborn baby girl named Chloe.”
“H-how did you know that?” Ted stammered.
“I’m psychic!”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffed. “Who the fuck are you?”
Claudia smiled.
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
Ted hated that question. For the first time, he studied her face. Was she an ex-girlfriend? Maybe she was a one-night stand? Did he go to high school with her? Was she one of his wife’s friends that he’d slept with? He frowned.
“No…I don’t think so.”
“You tried to get me to give you a blowjob after the Irvine show when I wanted to go backstage to see Gil…”
This additional information didn’t help Ted at all. He tried to force women to give him blowjobs at every show. He shook his head.
“No. I don’t remember you.”
“I’m Gil’s ex-fiancé, Claudia Cox.”
Realization washed over him like a cold shower.
“It’s you…” he said like it was an accusation. Ted knew all about her. “What do you want from me?”
“Your wife came to see me because she suspects you’re a cheater...and she’s right.”
Ted thought he’d covered his tracks. He thought he’d been discreet…except for the time she found that phone number in his shirt pocket…and the time she smelled perfume on him.
“Now, I’m going to make a prediction,” said Claudia. “You’re going to tell me what tricks Gil is using in his show tomorrow night.”
Ted sneered.
“How about I go to Gil and tell him what you’re up to instead?”
“Then I’ll go to your wife and tell her about your exploits and she’ll divorce you immediately and move to Wisconsin and you’ll never see your children ever again!”
Ted was terrified, for a moment. Then a smug expression crept over his face.
“I’ll just tell her you’re a disgruntled ex-girlfriend with an axe to grind,” he said. He had plenty of those. “You don’t have any proof of all the times I’ve cheated on my wife.”
“Don’t I?” Claudia asked with an evil smile. She got her phone out of her handbag and pressed play. “I’ll just tell her you’re a disgruntled ex-girlfriend with an axe to grind. You don’t have any proof of all the times I’ve cheated on my wife.”
“And I have this…”
“Keep reading the Kama Sutra. Later tonight you can show me what you’ve learned…”
“Then there’s this,” she added.
“I’d fucking kill myself if I was married to her too, with a voice like that, even with those big titties of hers!”
“And this…” She handed Ted a screenshot of his profile on the website High Infidelity, that included a photo of him shirtless and smoking a bong.
“Shit, I told her I’d quit,” he said.
“Thanks for that extra tidbit,” said Claudia as she wrote it down. “And there’s more. With all o
f this evidence your wife will also believe me when I tell her that you tried to get me to give you a blowjob a few months ago. I’m sure the server here will also corroborate that you come to this pub with different women all the time. Now, tell me, how does Gil do his readings?”
Beads of sweat dotted Ted’s forehead. He swiped his head with the arm of his jacket.
“It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?” Claudia said as she fanned herself with her hand, just like Ted had done minutes ago.
Ted held his forehead in his hands. He didn’t know what to do. How was he going to get himself out of this mess? He enjoyed his job and the freedom it gave him. He liked being on the road all the time, having his way with different women in different cities, and then going back home to family life with his wife and kids. He was having his cake and eating it too. Every man would do that if they could, right?
If he spilled the beans he was going to lose his job. If he didn’t, he’d lose his wife and kids. He realized he had been more loyal to Gil than to his own wife. He loved her; he just had a funny way of showing it.
It was time for him to be loyal to his wife…
“How does Gil do his readings?” Claudia asked him again.
Ted lifted up his head slowly and looked at her. He pulled out a crystal pendant that he was wearing around his neck.
“He uses this.”
It was an amethyst crystal pendant. It looked just like the amethyst pendant Gil bought for Claudia at the metaphysical fair on the day they met. The one sitting in her trashcan at home.
Claudia raised her eyebrows at him.
“You’re trying to tell me that he uses crystal power?” she asked scornfully. “I’ve had enough of your bullshit. I’m calling your wife.”
She reached for her phone.
“No, wait!” he cried desperately. “It’s not crystal power. There’s something hidden inside of this amethyst.”
“What do you mean?”
In a dramatic motion he ripped the crystal pendant off his neck and slammed it down on the table.
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