by Collen Houck
“Is that right?”
“Sure. All you have to do is bat your eyes, or in your case smile and ask nicely, throw in a distracting touch, and then, before you know it, you get whatever it is you want.”
“Really?” he teased quietly. “I hadno idea I had that effect on you.”
Reaching out a hand, he turned my face toward him. He trailed his fingers lightly from my jaw, down to the pulse at my throat, and then across my neckline. My pulse hammered as he touched the cord tied around my neck and followed its path down to the amulet; then he skimmed his fingers lightly back up to
my neck. I swallowed thickly. He leaned in close and threatened playfully, “I’ll have to use it more to my
advantage in the future.”
I sucked in a breath, my skin tingled, and I quivered slightly, which seemed to make him even more pleased with himself. He went off to walk the perimeter of our camp one last time while I drew up my knees to my chin, wrapped my arms around them, and let my mind drift.
My throat tingled where Ren had touched me. I lifted my hand to the hollow at the base of my neck and fingered the amulet. I briefly thought about Kishan and how dangerous he appeared to be on the surface.
Inside, he was as harmless as a kitten. The dangerous one was Ren. Innocent though the white tiger appeared to be, he was a compelling predator. Utterly irresistible—like a Venus flytrap. So alluring, so tempting, so deadly. Everything he did was seductive and possibly hazardous to my health.
He seemed much more dangerous to me than Kishan with his flirty and blatant comments. Both brothers
were gorgeous and charming. They had old-fashioned chivalrous manners that any girl would swoon over. But the way they talked, the things they said were straightforward. It was not just a game to them.
It was not just a way to pick up women. They were serious.
Kishan was equal to Ren in many ways. In that regard, I could understand Yesubai’s choice, but what made Ren one hundred percent more dangerous for me was…I had feelings for him. I had already loved the tiger part of him before I even knew he was a man.
Being with the man was so much more complicated than being with the tiger. I had to constantly remind myself that they were two sides of the same coin—literally heads and tails. There were so many reasons I
should be with him. There was a definite connection between us. I was undeniably attracted to him. We had a lot in common. I enjoyed my time with him. I liked talking to him and listening to his voice. And, I
felt like I could tell him anything.
But there were also many reasons for me to be cautious. Our relationship felt so complex. All those strange things had been happening so fast. I felt overwhelmed by him. We were from different cultures.
Different countries. Different centuries. We were even from differentspecies for most of the day.
Falling for him would be like cliff diving. It would either be the most exhilarating thing that would ever happen to me or it would be the stupidest mistake I’d ever make. It would make my life worth living or crush me against stony rocks that broke me utterly. It would’ve been much simpler to just be his friend.
Perhaps the wise thing to do would be to slow things down.
He came back, picked up my empty dinner packaging, and stowed it in the backpack. He sat down across from me and asked, “What are you thinking about?”
I kept staring glassily at the fire. “Nothing much.”
He tilted his head and considered me for a moment. He didn’t press me, which I felt grateful for…another characteristic I could add to the pro relationship side of my mental list.
He pressed his hands together palm to palm and rubbed them slowly, mechanically as if cleaning them of
dust. I watched them move, mesmerized.
“I’ll take the first watch, even though I really don’t think it’ll be necessary. I still have my tiger senses, you know. I’ll be able to hear or smell them if they decide to emerge from the water.
“Fine.”
“Are you alright?”
I mentally shook myself. Sheesh! I needed a cold shower! He was like a drug, and what did you do with drugs? You pushed them as far away as possible.
“I’m fine,” I said brusquely, then got up to dig through the backpack. “You let me know when your spideysenses start to tingle.”
“What?”
“Can you also leap tall buildings in a single bound?”
“Well, I still have my tiger strength, if that’s what you mean.”
I grunted, “Fabulous. I’ll add superhero to your list of pros.”
He frowned. “I’m no superhero, Kells. The most important consideration right now is that you get some rest. I’ll keep an eye out for a few hours; then, if nothing happens…,” he said with a grin, “I’ll join you.”
I froze and suddenly became very nervous. Surely, he didn’t mean what that sounded like. I searched his
face for a clue, but he didn’t seem to have any hidden agenda or be planning anything. I fished out my blanket, purposefully moved to the other side of the fire, and tried to get comfortable on the grass. I rolled around, twisting in my blanket until I was mummy-wrapped to keep out the bugs. Tucking my arm
under my head, I stared up at the starless black canopy.
Ren didn’t seem to mind my defection. He made himself comfortable on the other side of the fire and virtually disappeared in the darkness.
I murmured, “Ren? Where do you think we are? I don’t think that’s the sky up above us.”
He replied softly, “I think we’re deep underground somewhere.”
“It feels almost like we’ve crossed over into another world.” I shifted around, trying to find a soft piece of ground. After a restless half hour of wriggling, I sighed in frustration.
“What’s wrong?”
Before I could stop myself, I mumbled, “I’m used to resting my head on a warm tiger-fur pillow is what’s wrong.”
He grunted, “Hmm, let me see what I can do.”
Panicky, I squeaked out, “No, really. I’m okay. Don’t bother.”
He ignored my protests, scooped up my mummy-wrapped self, and set me down again on his side of the fire. He turned me on my side so I faced the fire, lay down behind me, and slid an arm under my neck
to cradle my head.
“Is that more comfortable for you?”
“Uh…yes and no. My head can definitely rest better in this position. Unfortunately, the rest of me is feeling the complete opposite of relaxed.”
“What do you mean? Why can’t you relax?”
“Because! You’re tooclose for me to relax!”
Bemused, he said, “Me being too close never bothered you when I was a tiger.”
“The tiger you and the man you are two completely different things.”
He put his arm around my waist and tugged me closer so we were spooned together. He sounded irritated and disappointed when he muttered, “It doesn’t feel different tome . Just close your eyes and imagine I’m still a tiger.”
“It doesn’t exactly work like that.” I lay stiffly in his arms, nervous, especially when he began nuzzling the
back of my neck.
He said softly, “I like the smell of your hair.”
His chest rumbled against my back, sending massaging vibrations through my body as he purred.
“Ren, can you not do that right now?”
He lifted his head. “You like when I purr. It helps you sleep better.”
“Yes…well, that only works with the tiger. How can you do that as a man anyway?
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just can.”
He buried his face in my hair again and stroked my arm.
“Uh, Ren…explain to me how you plan to keep watch like this.”
His lips grazed my neck. “I can hear and smell them, remember?”
I twitched and shivered, with nerves, or anticipation, or something…else. And he noticed. He stopped kissing my neck an
d lifted his head to peer at my face in the flickering firelight.
His voice was serious and calm, “Kelsey, I hope you know that I wouldnever hurt you. You don’t need to be afraid of me.”
Turning toward him, I lifted my hand and touched his cheek. Looking into his blue eyes, I sighed. “I’m not afraid of you, Ren. I trust you with my life. I’ve just never been close to someone like this before.”
He kissed me softly and smiled. “I haven’t either.”
He shifted, lying down again. “Now, turn around and go to sleep. I’m warning you that I plan to sleep with you in my arms all night long. Who knows when, orif , I’ll ever get to do it again. So try to relax, and
for heaven’s sake, don’t wiggle!”
He pulled me back against his warm chest, and I closed my eyes. I ended up sleeping better than I had in weeks.
When I woke, I was nestled on top of Ren’s chest. His arms were wrapped around me, and my legs were entwined with his. I was surprised I could breathe that way all night with my nose smashed against his muscular torso. It had gotten cold, but my blanket covered both of us and his body, which maintained a hotter-than-average temperature, had kept me toasty all night.
He was still asleep, and I took this rare opportunity to study him. I’d been with Ren night and day for the
past four weeks, but the time he was a man was such a small fraction of the day that he seemed almost like a dream guy to me, a Prince Charming.
So this is the real Ren.He doesn’tseem real.Real people just don’t look this perfect . I studied his face for a flaw and found none. He looked like an archangel who fell to the earth. His powerful frame was softened with full lips, long sooty lashes, and glossy dark hair that fell softly over his brow. I could even imagine the wings folded behind his back that would carry him back up into heaven where he belonged.
He was just unbelievably beautiful.
I traced a black eyebrow, following its arch with my finger, and lightly brushed the silky dark hair away from his face. Sighing and hoping not to disturb him, I shifted slowly and tried to move away, but his arms
tensed, restraining me.
He sleepily mumbled, “Don’t even think about moving.” He pulled me back to cuddle his chest again. I rested my cheek against his heartbeat and contented myself with listening to its rhythm.
After a few minutes, he stretched and rolled to his side, pulling me with him.
He kissed my forehead, blinked open his eyes, and smiled at me.
It was like watching the sun come up. The handsome, sleeping man was potent enough, but when he turned his dazzling white smile on me and blinked open his cobalt blue eyes, I was dumb-struck. He was sobeautiful . I bit my lip. A little voice in my head cautioned,he’s too beautiful .
He tucked some loose hair behind my ear. “Good morning,rajkumari . Sleep well?”
I stammered, “I…you….I….slept just fine, thank you.”
I closed my eyes and rolled away from him, standing up. I could deal with him a lot better if I didn’t think about him much, or look at him, or talk to him, or hear him.
He wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I felt his grin. “Best night of sleep I’ve had in about three hundred and fifty years.”
He nuzzled my ear, and an image came into my mind of him beckoning me to jump off a cliff and then laughing as my body broke on the wet rocks below.
I mumbled something akin to, “Good for you,” and pulled away from him. I wandered off to get myself ready for the day ignoring his puzzled expression.
We broke camp and headed toward the city. We were both very quiet. He seemed to be mulling over something in his mind, and as for me, I was trying to stop nervous flutterings from overwhelming me every
time I glanced in his direction.
What is wrong with me? We have a job to do. A big job, and I’m just acting…twitterpated!
I was annoyed with myself. I had to keep reminding myself that this was just Ren, the tiger, and not some teenage crush. Being close to the man for this long was making me face some facts. I had to get a handle on these emotions. As we walked, I pondered the problem that was our relationship.
He’d probably react this way with any girl who happened to be destined to save him. In the real world, there’s just no way a guy like him would ever be attracted to a girl like me. When the curse is broken, he’ll probably want to date supermodels.
Also, I’m the first girl he’s been around in about three hundred years, give or take. It’s not his fault. It’s a natural reaction to want human companionship. I’m the one who knows what the world is like. If he chooses me now, he’ll just wind up disappointed when he sees the entire selection. I can’t allow myself to believe I could be anything more than a temporary girlfriend for him. If I let myself dream about keeping him when this is all over, I’m sure to be disappointed.
In truth, I was already disappointed. Or, I guess disillusioned would be a better term. Allowing myself to
look, really look at thereal Ren woke me up from my pretty fantasy. The bits and pieces of him that I’d gotten to know all these weeks didn’t even come close to adding up to the time I’d spent with him here.
The problem was, the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to keep him. And I was a realist.
My brief moments with him now, though exhilarating, wouldn’t guarantee me a happy ending. I knew from painful experiences that happy endings weren’t real. Now that his cure loomed in the near future, I had to face the facts.
One, he’s just too beautiful, too perfect for me. Two, once he obtains his freedom, he’ll want to explore the world, as well he should, and not settle down. Three, it’s too risky. If he decides that he doesn’t love me, it would destroy me. It would be safer for me to head back to Oregon and my solitary, normal life there and forget all about him. Four, he’s not ready to make that kind of choice. I’d be trapping him in a relationship he might regret.
Some of my reasoning was circular, but the circles all led to one thing:not being with Ren. I swallowed the wave of sadness at leaving this,him , behind and bit my lip in determination. I decided that, to protect
myself, it would be better if I nipped this thing in the bud right now and save myself the heartache and him
the embarrassment later.Better to pluck out the tender shoot of love now before it blossoms and sends deeper roots. If I uprooted it now, the hole, theache , would be much less than if I allowed it to develop and had to yank out something the size of a tree.
I would just focus on the task ahead. Then, when this was all over, he could go his way and I could go mine. I’d just do my part to help my friend and then let him go off and be happy.I should want that for him, right?
Now I was depressed. Ren was like Superman, and I had to face the fact that I was no Lois Lane. He deserved someone insanely beautiful and poised—the kind of girl who looked fabulous even when screaming for help. Not a frumpy, braids her hair, bookworm, who hadn’t even chosen a major yet.
I formulated a plan, not a grandiose plan, just a plan of avoidance. I started sending subtle signals.
Whenever he reached over to hold my hand, I found a reason to gently pull back. When he touched my arm or my shoulder, I stepped away. When he tried to put his arm around me, I shrugged it off or moved ahead. I didn’t say anything or offer any explanations because I couldn’t think of a way to broach the subject. He tried to ask me what was wrong, but I just said, “Nothing,” and he dropped it. I hurt him. At first, he was confused, then he was hurt, then he started closing himself off and became angry. It didn’t take long for him to stop trying, and I felt a wall,the Great Wall of China , go up between us.
We arrived at the city wall and found a draw-bridge. Unfortunately, it was pulled up, but it did hang down slightly on one side as if broken. Ren walked down the creek bed on both sides and stared hard into the water.
“There are too many Kappa here. I wouldn’t recommend swimming across.”
“What
if we dragged a log over and crossed on that?”
He grunted, “That’s a good idea.” He walked over to me and spun me around.
I mumbled nervously, “What are you doing?”
“Just getting out the gada.” He continued sarcastically, “Don’t worry, that’sall I’m doing.”
He took it out and zipped up the backpack quickly, and then he strode off stiffly toward the trees.
I winced. He was angry. I’d never seen him angry before except at Kishan. I didn’t like it, but it was a natural side effect of the whole yanking-out-the-seedling-of-love-and-avoiding-the-jagged-rocks-below plan. It couldn’t be helped.
A minute later, a heavy boom sounded, and a tree quickly sucked in its branches. Another splintering boom and the tree crashed through the canopy and fell to the ground with a hard crack. He began clubbing the branches off the trunk, and I walked over to help.
“Is there something I can do?”
He kept his back turned toward me. “No. We only have one gada.”
Even though I already knew the answer, I asked, “Ren, why are you angry? Is something bothering you?” I grimaced, knowing that it wasme that was bothering him.
He stopped and turned to look at me. His vivid blue eyes searched my face. I quickly averted my gaze and looked down at a quivering branch flexing its needles. When I looked back at him, his face was set in an unreadable mask.
“Nothing’s bothering me, Kelsey. I’m fine.” He turned and continued whacking the branches off the tree.
When he was finished, he handed me the gada, picked up one end of the heavy tree, and started dragging it toward the creek.
I hurried after him and bent down to pick up the other end.
He called back without even looking at me, “Don’t.”
When we got back to the creek, he dropped the trunk and started looking for a good place to set it. I was about to sit on the tree trunk when I noticed the needles. Even the trunk had thick, spiky needles that rose up to sink themselves into unsuspecting flesh. I walked up to the front end and saw Ren’s blood in great drops coating the shiny black needles.
When he came back, I said, “Ren, let me see your hands and chest.”