She was lying to herself every time. Being in close contact with the man she wanted but couldn’t have for the past two weeks had been absolute hell.
“May.” Sammie laid a hand over hers. “It’s me. Talk to me.”
Sammie would listen. She wouldn’t judge. And May knew she wouldn’t say a word. She pulled her hand away and put both hands over her face.
“I shouldn’t be feeling like this, Sammie. I shouldn’t.”
“Like what?”
May swallowed and took a moment to gather her thoughts.
“I shouldn’t have fallen for him. And it’s not because we…slept together. I think I fell for him long before that.”
Chapter 9
May couldn’t stop herself. The tension had built up too much and it came pouring out. She started sobbing into her hands. Sammie slid off her stool and moved closer, putting her arms around her friend.
“Oh, honey.” She held May close and gently rocked her, rubbing her back. “There’s nothing wrong with falling in love.”
“It is wrong when it’s your boss.” May sobbed. She could feel her throat tightening and coughed. “And there are other things going on. Don’t ask me to tell you but let’s just say it’s not good.”
She could cope with all of that. Chris would never put her in harm’s way. She could put up with anything if Chris was around. But May knew it was a barrier that would always be there. Sammie sighed.
“You need to tell him.”
May lifted her head and stared at her friend.
“What?”
“Tell Chris how you feel. You have to or it’s going to eat you up. From what I can tell, he loves you, too.”
Chris loved her as well? May didn’t think Chris was capable of love. Lust, infatuation, yes, but not love. She took the tissue Sammie offered her.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
May didn’t know what to say to that.
*****
Illya looked up from the book Chris had handed to him moments before.
“I must say, I’m impressed, Chris. For someone who says they failed high school math, your books are nicely balanced.”
Chris grunted.
“It would be even more balanced if I could get a couple of clients to pay on time instead of at their leisure. They completely throw me off whenever I check each month.”
“Don’t you follow up with them?”
“With the Triads?”
Illya grunted.
“Maybe not. Nobody’s that stupid. Except Anton. He’s gone to Ricky Lau himself and it had Lau gnashing his teeth afterwards.”
“What did he do to upset Ricky Lau?”
“I’ve no idea and I don’t think I want to know.”
Chris didn’t think he wanted to, either. He had dealt with Ricky Lau before and he didn’t like the man. The Triad boss was as slippery as they came. Chris knew he would be paid but eventually, not immediately. If Ricky had half a chance, he wouldn’t pay for his weapons at all.
“May doesn’t look after these, does she?” Illya asked, holding up the book.
Chris shook her head.
“I’m not letting her look after those. That would mean more to keep from the FBI, not to mention the IRS.”
“But she knows what you do for a living.”
“Of course she does. But I keep the books. She knows what’s in the account but I keep an eye on all of it. And I have to do something for myself. If May did everything I’d have nothing to do and there’s only so much I can do before I get bored.”
“There’s got to be lots of things for you to do.”
“Not without toeing the line.” Chris stood and stretched out his back before he sat back down, stretching his legs out. “I’ve done parachuting, hang-gliding and free-falling. Everything that involves an adrenaline rush.”
“You can’t have done everything that gives you adrenaline rush.”
“I have. Why do you think I went onto the wrong side of the law? It wasn’t for the perks, just for the rush.”
“And you have the best contacts Anton’s ever heard of.” Illya added. He made a notation in the margin with a pencil. “You have the money now. You should enjoy it.”
“You can talk. You’ve got more money than I have and you still work.”
Illya flashed him a bright white grin.
“I love money.”
“More than you love your fiancée?”
“No way. I’d throw all my money away for Blossom.”
Chris couldn’t blame him for that. Illya had shown him a picture of his future bride and Blossom was lovely. And from the way Illya’s face softened along with his tone whenever he spoke of Blossom, he was well and truly stuck on her. Chris envied him. The man was in a dangerous profession and had a woman who loved him.
He wished he had that.
He hid his envy with a laugh and went back to his computer. He had come into his office to work, not talk about his feelings.
“I never thought I’d see any of you guys softening up just because of a woman.”
“It can happen to all of us.” Illya flashed him a grin. “Just like it could happen with you and May.”
Chris’ fingers froze on the keyboard. What had he just said? Had he sensed something between Chris and May? He glared at Illya, who didn’t look ashamed at the observation.
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, I’ve known you since we started working together four years ago. You’ve certainly softened up and it’s only been in the last couple of years. You’d never ask anyone for help to protect a woman until now.” Illya paused. “And certainly not against another.”
“You haven’t met Sara Monahan or read about her past.” Chris scowled. “She tries to portray such sweet innocence and underneath she’s a mean, vile lady.”
“Does everyone fall for it?”
“Right now, the only one who has is her son. Everyone else believes she blew the situation out of proportion and now she’s facing the consequences of pointing the finger.”
Illya was looking at him thoughtfully. Chris didn’t like being scrutinized. He would rather have Ivan in here – he didn’t talk much when he worked – but he had no idea about numbers and Illya was the accountant. He glared at the other man.
“What?”
“It’s shaken you up, hasn’t it?” Illya said quietly. “You wouldn’t have called us in to look after May when you’re not here, otherwise.”
“Wouldn’t it shake you up? You went through it last year with Anton’s sister.”
Illya grimaced.
“Yep and Blossom was freaking out about it. She thought it was her ex and Nicoletta completely threw us.”
“She was the last person you expected, right?”
“Yes.”
“And how did you feel when you couldn’t protect her against someone you wouldn’t have thought would harm her?”
Illya sighed.
“Pretty useless.”
“That’s Sara Monahan and my situation right now. I’m not going to do that with May.”
Chris wasn’t sure if Sara would even attempt anything now, especially since she was on house arrest. But his gut said something was going to happen and he wanted to be close when it did happen. May didn’t know if but she belonged to him; Chris wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her.
“You love her, don’t you?”
Chris started at Illya’s sudden question. Illya was giving him a knowing look. He wasn’t judging him; he had been there before. Chris thought about denying it and decided not to. He slumped in his chair.
“Is that so pathetic?”
“Not at all. We’re allowed to have one weak spot. And from what I’ve seen over the last couple of weeks, yours is definitely May.”
Chris wished he didn’t know that.
“I had my one chance weeks ago. She wants to keep it professional or she’ll leave. I don’t want anyone else in my life. I’m going to ha
ve to follow her wishes.”
“Maybe not.”
“What do you mean?”
Illya sat forward.
“Come on, Chris, you’re not stupid. She’s been with you two years now. And she’s never said a word to the feds about you. There have been ample opportunities for her but she’s not done that. That must mean something.”
It did. Chris was surprised and appreciative about that. May was as loyal as they came. But did it mean she wanted to keep a lucrative job or was it something more?
“How do I know?”
“Ask her.” Illya grinned. “I did it with Blossom.”
“And no one says no to you.”
“Or you.” Illya chuckled.
He had a point there.
*****
May couldn’t bring herself to do any work after her revelation with Sammie. She had begged off by telling Chris she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to sleep. Chris hadn’t objected, simply leaving her to it.
May had tried to sleep but it hadn’t come. All she could think about was her conversation with Sammie earlier and finally confessing that she was in love with Chris. It wasn’t something she wanted to admit out loud but May didn’t have a choice. Sammie would have guessed, as it was, and she had a feeling Illya and Ivan knew from the knowing looks she got from them while she worked.
The only person who didn’t seem to know the truth was Chris. And May wanted to keep it that way. Being in love with your boss was one thing but Chris wasn’t one who did lovey-dovey emotions. He just wanted someone in his bed for the sex.
But he had cared for her when she was unwell, had protected her from Sara and refused to leave her side when May would have faced things alone. That had to mean something. May realized Chris wasn’t the type to say things out loud but used his actions.
Could that mean something? May had no idea.
Giving up on sleep, May decided to open up her laptop and watch some videos. There were several sports shows she could watch or there was her growing movie list. Something to take her mind off the mess going on in her head.
She finally settled on a historical documentary. It looked mundane enough and something to shift her focus onto. But it just ended up making May even more bored than before. So, she went to another documentary. She flicked from show to show, unable to settle again.
Damn her brain.
May was still scrolling through her movie playlist, bundled up in the duvet, when there was a soft knock at the door. She sat up.
“Come in.”
The door opened and Chris put his head around. He gave her a bashful smile.
“Hey. May I come in?”
May remembered she was wearing a strappy vest and panties and kept the duvet to her chest. She could ask him to leave so she was more presentable but May didn’t really care. She gave him a small smile.
“Sure.”
Chris entered and closed the door behind him. He had changed out of his jeans and red shirt from earlier into a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that hugged his chest. May tried not to stare at that chest, which seemed to draw the eye more than she wanted it to. That man was too damn delicious for his own good.
If only she was one of those brave women who could push it further with her boss. May didn’t think she had the courage. Chris had led the way last time. She knew it would have to be the one who instigated it this time.
Her heart rate picked up as Chris sat on the bed.
“Is there something wrong? Where are Illya and Ivan?”
“Pigging out in front of the TV.” Chris grinned. “I think they’re watching the ice hockey. I just heard a lot of shouting in Russian.”
May laughed.
“Nice to know they’re doing their job.”
Chris grinned. Then his smile faded and he leant onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow as he regarded her thoughtfully.
“How are you holding up? Did you manage to sleep?”
May sighed and made a face.
“No. I wish I had. But things are just going over in my brain and I can’t switch it off.”
“Sorry, I don’t possess an off-switch you can use.”
“I know.” May gestured at the room. “I do appreciate you helping me out. But I wish I could go home. I don’t like imposing.”
Chris stared at her. Then he reached out and laid a hand on her thigh. Even through the duvet May could feel the heat from his hand. Her nipples started prodding the fabric of her vest top and May clung the duvet tighter to her chest.
“I don’t mind you imposing.” Chris said softly, giving her a smile that made May want to swoon. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“But…I’m just your personal assistant.”
“That’s as maybe. But I look after my own.” Chris drew his hand away and rubbed at his eyes. “Listen, I’m really grateful about you working for me. Really, I am. I know I seem to take you for granted but having you around really makes a difference.”
“You mean keeping your secrets.”
Chris grimaced.
“That among other things. There have been times when you could give me up. But you’ve never said a thing.”
May wondered where this was going. But she knew she couldn’t have walked away and revealed the actual way Chris’ made a living. She had fallen for him a long time before that.
“You’re my boss.” She said faintly. “So that means I’m loyal to you.”
Chris was looking at her strangely. Then he sat up and shuffled closer, almost crowding her against the headboard. But May didn’t move. She didn’t want to. She wondered if Chris could hear her heart pounding in her chest.
“Why would you do that?” Chris asked. “Why would you risk everything for me?”
May’s mouth went dry. He was close enough to kiss. She swallowed and licked her lips, watching Chris’ eyes zoom in on her mouth.
“I’ve been asking that myself.” She whispered. “I don’t think I’ve ever come up with an answer.” She grinned. “Maybe you’re too handsome for jail.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really.” May knew she was playing with fire as she leant forward, their faces inches away. “You’re handsome and you know it.”
Chris gave a self-satisfied smirk.
“I’m glad you’ve noticed.”
“You think I haven’t?”
“Well, from the way you’ve been with me lately, I don’t know anything anymore.”
He was closer now. May could feel his breath on her mouth.
“I’ve always thought it.” May flexed her hand and reached out, laying her hand on his shoulder. She felt the muscles bunch under her fingers. “I’m not blind.”
“Why don’t you show me?”
Show him. May saw the darkening of his eyes, his nostrils flaring. He wanted her, she could see it.
How could she deny him that?
She covered the mere inches between them and kissed him softly. Chris didn’t move, letting May take control. But he did sigh and May shivered as the sound shot through her body.
She pulled back and opened her eyes to see Chris watching her. He looked like he was tensed up ready to pounce her. Chris gulped, his voice sounding hoarse.
“Am I allowed to touch you?”
May grinned. Feeling bolder, she rose to sit on her knees, pushing the duvet away and pulling off her vest top. She tossed it onto the floor.
“Yes.”
Chris’ mouth fell open as he stared at her breasts. Then his hands were on her, cupping her breasts in his huge palms and his thumbs brushing across her nipples. May gasped and arched her chest against him. Her pussy was building up with heat already. Just the merest touch from Chris made her want to burst into flames.
“Tell me to stop.” Chris growled even as he squeezed her breasts before lowering his hands to her waist. “I want to make sure you’re certain about this.”
May didn’t think she could be even more certain. She leant into hi
m with a smile.
“If you let me take charge, I’m sure I’ll be certain.”
Then she kissed him, cupping his head in her hands. Chris pulled her against him, May’s legs being pulled to wrap around his waist. She could feel his cock pressing against her pussy, only a few bits of cloth in between. She moaned and rolled her hips. Chris groaned and his hands tightened on her hips before releasing her and pulling off his t-shirt. May’s mouth watered as she ran her hands over his chest, pushing him backwards.
Chris let her push him and went onto his back, putting his hands behind his head with a smirk. May licked her way down his chest and tugged at his sweatpants, making Chris lift his hips to help her. His cock sprang free, bumping her chin as she pushed his clothes the rest of the way down. Chris was still grinning as May tossed his clothes onto the floor but that disappeared with a loud moan as May grasped his cock in her hand and closed her mouth over the tip.
May loved to make Chris putty in her hands. But she wanted to come apart in his arms. From the feel of Chris’ body and the way his cock seemed to thicken in her mouth, he wasn’t far off from doing that.
She licked him and sucked him hard, making Chris’ hips buck off the bed, before pulling back. Pushing off her shorts and panties, May clambered onto Chris’ lap. Chris’ hands gripped her hips as May grasped his cock, placing it at the entrance of her pussy. Her breath caught as she lowered herself onto him.
He was huge, bigger than she thought before. And it felt incredible. May took her time pushing herself down onto him, rolling her hips. Each time she did, Chris groaned and started to pant. His body was beginning to get taut like a bowstring.
It wouldn’t take much to get him exploding.
May didn’t want to rush this, even though she had missed him. This time she wanted to savor. She was in charge. She rode him slowly, her pussy clenching at his cock greedily and changing the angle of her hips to take more of him in. Chris’ breath was coming out in short gasps, bucking up against her. He was so close.
Then May felt her orgasm hit her. She had been so focused on Chris that she had forgotten about her own climax. It took her by surprise and she gasped, bucking on Chris’ lap. Chris gripped her hips and thrust up hard into her pussy, keeping her in place. May couldn’t do anything as her climax washed over her except hold on. She didn’t get a chance to climb down from her orgasm before it built up again.
Love In Arms_BWWM Romance Page 10