“Assuming it ever did in the first place.” His voice was as stiff as his body. She decided to walk toward the movie theater. Hoping that maybe Zes and Cheyenne would be getting out earlier than expected. Anything to end the awkwardness surrounding them.
For a moment, he stared into her eyes, his magic glowing. “I am mad at you, but not because you may have bewitched me. It's because you hid it from me for so long, hid everything from me actually. Now you’re standing here accusing me of being just as fake and dishonest as you. I know what I feel for you is real. How dare you tell me it's not.”
“But how do you know? It's powerful magic. Look at how dysfunctional we are. This can't be what a normal relationship is like. I didn't mean to hide it from you for so long. I got scared. And you're one to talk. Look at all those secrets you kept from me for how long? You're being unfair.”
“The difference between me and you is that I didn't have a choice. When I say bad things happen, I don't mean a slap on the wrist. People could get hurt or die. Just because I said one word too many about something. I didn't tell you because I wanted to be sure.”
“About what? Our teenage high school romance?” She glared at him, not sure if he could see it, but hoping he could at least sense it. “That was my first tip off that maybe this whole thing we have isn't real. We're how old? We're kids.”
“I'll be eighteen in four months.”
“Still young. You talk like we're going to get married some day. Tell me, did you see that in one of your dreams? How do you know you want to spend the rest of your life with me? I'd expect this kind of delusional behavior from your brother, but not you.” She wanted to have him be the one, to not have to worry about searching anymore. If anyone fit perfectly with her, it was him. Her life wasn't a fairy tale though. Those weren't real for anyone, and she definitely wasn't that lucky to get it right the first time. She had to have accidentally used the magic she inherited from her mother. Being Aphrodite's daughter gave her the ability to make anyone worship the ground she walked on. Anj's blind devotion and pipe dreams were too much to be taken seriously. How could he love her so strongly? They were too bizarre.
Anj's face turned to the side as though he'd been slapped. “Ouch, ouch and ouch. No, I didn't see it in a dream. The only thing I know for certain is that I will be married some day. I told you, they're vague. I never said we'd be together for forever. All I mentioned was you'd be a part of my life. As for being like my brother, at least he has a heart. Feelings can be a good thing just like they can be real. Maybe you shouldn't be questioning the reality of my emotions, but your own.”
She shook her head, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. Hopefully she'd never have to tell him that she was crying. “You silly boy. I have always loved you. I probably always will. That's why this hurts me so much and why I didn't want to ever tell you.”
“If that's the case then what is the problem?”
“You'll always wonder just like I will. Every day you'll doubt what we are like I do. Because how do we know that I didn't bewitch you the same way my mother did to my father? What if I'm only destined to be manipulative like her? Things between us won't ever be the same.”
“I think that's the first correct statement you've made tonight,” he grumbled.
“So the ‘I love you’ was false. Got it. Good to know.”
“That's not what I meant and you know it. Stop trying to twist things so you can use them against me,” he sighed deeply. “This was supposed to make everything better. I don't understand why you're not even trying.”
He could be right. Jewl was pushing him away. But how else was she supposed to protect him until she figured everything out? Why couldn't her mother have at least left her with some kind of a clue about what she should expect?
She let go of his hand, guiding him instead by holding his wrist, barely touching him as they went. “Maybe this is better. I want you to move on from me. We need some space from each other. We always say we're going to have it, but never take it.”
“No we don't.”
“Then maybe I should say it like this: I need some space away from you.”
When she glanced over at him, she could almost see his heart breaking in front of her. His brows furrowed, his lip quivering slightly before he clenched his jaw. The arm she held fell limp. “This isn't right. It can't be…”
She didn't have the heart to tell him it was. Nor could she explain all of the reasons behind why she needed the time… why he did. They'd never spent real time apart before. Over the summer after their last break up, she'd been too bitter and angry with him for dumping her to stop and analyze things thoroughly. Besides, it didn't take long for them to become friendly again and start hanging out. She had to learn what life was like without him, for his sake.
That wasn't how she had planned for the evening to end, but after hearing his secret it was how things had to happen. He deserved to not waste his confidence on an infatuation. All she had to do was think of a way to break it if that's what their relationship truly was. The problem was finding out how to on her own. Chances of her mother popping in at random to give her some solid answers were slim to none.
The two stepped into the movie theater. She was glad the three-hour curfew was quickly coming because she needed to get away from him, from everyone. Ideally she would have called a cab and left right then and there, but she didn't want to abandon Anj and leave him defenseless. As much as she didn't want to, she waited with him, suffering through what would be an awkward ride home.
Chapter Nineteen
A week of solitude was like living without air. Every day she found herself wanting to pick up the phone and apologize to Anj for the way she behaved. Then she realized the strong desire she felt for him was part of the problem. She was letting herself get too wrapped up in him. It wasn’t a good sign that he cared for her on his own accord. If Jewl was so miserable, she didn't want to think about what he was feeling.
Most of the time she spent trying to do her homework and get ahead. Over-achiever was the last way she'd describe herself, but it gave her an activity that wasn't pining away with a pint of ice cream in front of her television. Her teachers would be happy with her new interest in schoolwork. Thankfully she didn't have any classes with Anj, Zes or anyone else from her usual social circle. It made things lonely, but easier.
Once she was done with her classes for the day, she went back to the dorm for another night of reading textbooks and researching for papers. Boring, but what else was she supposed to do? Anything else would lead her to an emotional downward spiral, and she was getting tired of crying alone.
Maybe I should find myself a friend. Who can I call? Teague? Perhaps later. He required a certain amount of mental energy to deal with that she wasn't sure she had. Cheyenne? The girl could be cool when she wanted to be, but would she be unbiased to the situation? Probably not. Denver? No way. He'd never sit and listen to her or even simply shoot the breeze. She could only rely on him for business.
“Zach,” Jewl whispered. Her one true friend. She owed him another visit anyway.
She dug through her bag of stones and picked out a dark red, smooth, and dull looking rock about the size of her thumb. Closing her eyes, she whispered the incantation, a flash of light, and then she dissipated. It felt an awful lot like shivers running down her spine, and seconds later she reappeared in front of Zacheus's gate in the underworld. A beautiful sight to behold. There was a tall fence separating the empty space of the underworld from the grounds of Hades castle. A large, black stone gate — which could only be moved with magic — was the only way through.
At first, there was nothing to be seen but the red dusty ground for miles. Is he on break? Do guardians of the dead get breaks too? From what she understood, spirits didn't become tired the same way living beings did. Maybe he'd been called away for another job, but that still didn't explain why there was no one there to guard the entrance. Anyone could walk in or out.
“You shou
ld probably go home,” Zach's cool voice said from nearby. Her gray eyes squinted and she could make out his muscular form leaning against the fence. He was smiling, a much welcome sight after her not so great week.
She walked toward him, arms open so she could get a hug. With some hesitation he did so. She didn't understand why there was the slight apprehension attached to all of his actions, or the tension filling his entire body. Usually her welcome was much more well-received.
Although his skin was cold to the touch, the strength of his arms made everything feel better.
“I just needed one of those. You've always been the best hugger I've ever met,” she said.
“What happened? If you keep it brief, I'll do what I can to make you feel better. But I mean it, Jewl. You need to go home, and I don't think you should come back and see me anymore.” One of his large hands stroked her hair slowly.
“Why?”
“If there's still time, I'll explain what I can. Talk fast.”
Her brow furrowed. She decided not to waste her breath arguing with him. Whatever reasons he had, she knew they were good ones. “I told Anj everything.” Hopefully that would be all she'd need to say.
“Everything?”
“Yes, everything. About my Mom, her magic… the works.”
Zach shook his head, “If he can't accept you for who you are, then you're better off without him. I know it hurts to be rejected, but it's for the better in the long run. That's not love, you know?”
“He didn't take it badly,” she whispered.
“Oh? So then what's wrong?”
“I don't know if I believe him. How do you know when love is real?”
He bit his lower lip, staring at the ground before raising his eyes to meet with hers. “When you care about someone no matter what. It comes in different degrees, but when love is real I've noticed that's always a constant factor. Granted, I haven't exactly been able to be in love much so I don't have a lot of personal experience. With my family and friends though…” He continued peering into her eyes. “Well, when it's unconditional is usually a pretty big giveaway.”
Jewl sighed. “You're not helping me.”
“So you don't know if you believe him because of your Mom. I'm not sure I have an answer for you here. Given the nature of being the goddess of love, you know her slaves would do anything for her no matter how she treated them. Try abusing him and see if he comes back for more?” He cracked a small smile, but she didn't return it. Instead she scowled.
“That's not funny. I don't want to hurt him more. For now we're just not speaking to each other. And I didn't come here for a solution. I came here for a hug from my best friend because right now, I don't have anyone else I can talk to.”
“You might want to change that. As much as I love seeing you, you've over-stayed your welcome.”
“Why?” Her frown deepened. Please don't take him away from me too. I don't know if I could stand losing them both.
He sighed, “I can't talk about the dealings of the demons. Just trust me. Living people need to stay away for now. Pass it on to anyone else who might like to come on down. The danger is bad for anyone Divine, and saying even that much might have just gotten me into a lot of trouble. It's important.”
“I'll miss you,” she whispered.
“And I'm going to miss you, too, but we'll have eternity to catch up in. If things get better sooner, I'll find a way to let you know. Until then, promise me you won't come back here.”
Frowning, she nodded. “I promise.”
Zach leaned down and placed a cold kiss on her forehead. “Chin up, take a chill pill, and stop sweating the small stuff. He either loves you or he doesn't. If he does, then you've got nothing to worry about. If he doesn't, then you at least have a hot slave right?”
“Ugh, not helping,” she groaned.
“Just trying to make it sound more like a good thing.”
“Always Mister Optimistic.”
He beamed at her. “Exactly. Someone's coming. Please go.”
Clutching her stone, Jewl began her incantation to go home again. Off in the distance she saw the dust on the other side of the gate start to billow up into a cloud as something ran toward them. She never got to find out what it was because she was back in her dorm before it reached her. When she opened her eyes, she found herself face to face with a demon. A scream escaped her lips, and the creature flew away from her as if startled.
“I thought I told you to leave me alone,” she shouted.
The black figure stepped back toward the wall. “I'm only doing my job. Mistress says to make sure you are protected. She wants to atone for the evil she is doing to the child.”
A knock came from her door. If she ignored it, hopefully whoever was there would go away. Her eyes never left the demon. “Get out of my room. Stop following me. This is your last warning. Leave Teague alone, too.”
“Funny human girl, thinking you have power over me to make threats.”
The knocking persisted. “Jewl?” Cheyenne said from the other side. The demon's body tensed, then it melted into the shadows on her wall. Was it afraid? If she had to choose between spending time with a girl she sort of liked or a minion of the Dark, the decision was pretty obvious.
“Come in,” she said with a sigh, watching the dark creature fade away completely.
The door opened and Cheyenne walked in, looking around the room with a frown. “I thought I heard someone else, too.”
“The TV. Can I help you? Actually, let me guess. You've been sent on a mission from Anj to check up on me and try to persuade me into talking with him again.” She folded her arms in front of her.
“No. When you screamed I was in the hall, so I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Chey said softly.
“Scary movie. I turned it off.”
“I'm not sure I believe you, but I won't pry anymore. But he has nothing to do with my coming here. He hasn't said much about you in general.”
Jewl wasn't surprised, but she was disappointed. Knowing him, he was probably saving it all for his private conversations with his brother. Now she couldn't help but wonder what Cheyenne was hearing second hand. What would he share and what secrets would he keep? She'd never told him to keep them for her, but she'd hoped it was at least implied given the sensitivity of the subject.
“The only thing he has mentioned is how he wants you to come stay with them over winter break still,” Cheyenne added.
“You can pass along that I'll be there when I'm done with some other business. It'll only be a day or two later.”
“Other things involving your aunt and Lucien?” she said, raising an eyebrow.
With a roll of her eyes, Jewl motioned for the girl to come in, and then shut the door. “Something like that. Save your speeches, please. I've already done a number of stupid things recently, I might as well keep adding to my list.”
Cheyenne sat down on the couch, watching her as she moved across the room to sit in a chair. “Not funny, but I wasn't going to lecture you anyway. I know you won't listen. When I sat and thought about it, I realized I wouldn't either if I was in your shoes. In fact, I didn't listen. Sometimes you have to do what feels right. So instead of trying to talk you out of it, I'm going to help.”
“Wow, this just made your coolness go up about one hundred points.” Her tone was teasing, but Jewl meant every word.
She laughed. “I could use a lot of those.”
“You said it, not me.” Jewl made sure to smile when she said it so she didn't come across as being completely heartless.
“Anyway, tell me how I can help.”
“Aren't you already? Every demon I run across keeps mentioning how their mistress wants me safe.” She folded her arms in front of her, challenging the girl to see what kind of explanation she'd give.
For a while, all Cheyenne did was stare at her hands, chewing on her lower lip. “Those are just dreams. Nothing more.”
“If they were just dreams, then why are they aff
ecting everyone else too?” It made sense to her.
“I don't know,” Chey whispered.
Jewl leaned forward and grabbed Cheyenne’s hands firmly, forcing her to make eye contact. “I know they probably aren't good dreams. If you want to help, telling me about them is a good place to start. The more information I have going in, the better because I have no clue what this Lucien guy wants with my aunt.”
Cheyenne closed her eyes. “They're so vivid when I have them, but when I wake up I can barely remember a thing. What I can tell you is that I go there, to his castle, but I stay as far away from him as possible. Even my dream self hates him. The demons obey my commands, so if I did tell them to protect you, they'll do it instead of cause harm. His are gross, mine not so much. They are tortured souls, but not pure darkness.” She paused as if searching for anything else. “Please, is there anything else that I can do?”
“What does he want?”
“I told you we don't see each other or talk.”
“No guesses?”
“To change how things are, maybe. I don't know.” Briefly, Cheyenne wiped a tear trickling down her cheek before smiling. “I'll send more help for you. I'll do something.”
Why did she have to be so sweet? That made everything so much more difficult. Jewl wanted to reach out, to spill her guts, to cave and cry. Either she was getting desperate, overly hormonal because of her monthly visit, or she was a lot more afraid than she originally thought. Trusting Cheyenne wasn't necessarily a bad idea, but she didn't want to do it. There was more than enough going on to keep her occupied. Besides, the last thing Jewl needed to do was break. Maintaining her strength was the only thing keeping her ahead of the game.
“Thanks for trying. I got this.” She said it more to convince herself than Chey.
“Come and eat with us. It's not the same with you gone. Even Denver was complaining about it yesterday. The guys’ spirits would be lifted up so much. You can tell Anj you're coming for break yourself. Things could be normal again.” Her blue eyes sparkled, and Jewl almost pitied the girl's naive hope.
Vala Heritage Page 18