“Well, excuse me, Mr. Cuban-American. I’m just expressing my very American right, not to participate in rituals that I don’t believe in.”
He laughed again. “That’s what I love about you. You always have an answer. But I see I have a lot of work ahead of me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having fun. I’m going to…”
He stopped talking in mid-sentence, and Nicole suddenly became aware of voices in the background. Obviously he was not alone. “Julian,” she started.
“Nicole, I’m sorry. I really have to go now. I’ll talk to you when I get back.”
She barely got the word “goodbye” out, before she heard the click on the other end, and then she just sat there for a few moments, holding the receiver, listening to the infernal buzzing. Finally, she hung up and shook her head in bewilderment. The man she was in love with but didn’t want to be was driving her crazy.
The illuminated dial on the bedside clock informed her in flashing digitals that it was now three a.m.; she was probably not going to get back to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
There were no more threatening notes in purple or black envelopes. Upon returning to Miami, Julian talked Nicole into celebrating the resumption of their relationship by going out to dinner at an exotic Chinese restaurant with his band-member friend, Wade, and his wife, Yvette. It was a low-key event for Julian, but Nicole preferred it that way. She was delighted that Jamaican-born Wade and Yvette were both very down-to-earth people, a genuinely nice couple.
Wade did most of the talking, which was fine, because he had a wicked sense of humor that only Julian could match when he was in the mood. But that night Julian seemed quiet and reflective.
The following week, Julian told her that he would be in New York for two days, filming a video. There was a scene that required a chorus of children, and he wanted Trey to be among them. He told her that there would be a group of about thirty school kids, and they didn’t have to sing, just lip-sync. Trey wanted to do it and Nicole gave her permission. Since she had that week off, they all flew to New York to stay one night in a hotel that overlooked Central Park.
The video was shot in Central Park, on a beautiful and unusually warm November day. The autumn foliage had peaked, but a lot of multicolored raiment still clung to the trees. The ground was a carpet of russet, red and gold.
Nicole enjoyed being a spectator, but she felt a bit lost among the sea of people and tons of camera equipment. It amazed her to see how much work went into making a video that was under five minutes long. Trey was incredible. He did exactly what he was told, didn’t seem uncomfortable around the other children, and didn’t even whine about the boring moments between cuts and takes. He had one quirk though. He had to be in the front row, standing close to Julian. No one argued.
The song was a breezy pop tune, tinged with elements of gospel and R&B. It played on a tape in the background for inspiration, but Julian lip-synched along with the others. He looked boyishly handsome, the centerpiece in a melange of adorable little faces of all sizes and nationalities.
* * *
Nicole woke Trey up early Sunday morning. They were booked on a flight back to Miami in the afternoon, so they had only a few hours to explore the park and enjoy Manhattan at a time when Julian was less likely to be recognized by fans. They met him in the hall and took the stairs down instead of the elevator.
“Think you could live in New York?” Julian asked as they ran on a path that paralleled the reservoir.
“In the suburbs maybe, but definitely not in the city.”
She slowed down to look back at Trey, who had stopped running and was standing still with his face pressed up against the tall wire fence, gazing out at the diamond-spangled reservoir. The sun had just started to appear, hopefully to warm things up a bit. It was not as nice as it had been yesterday and the sky had a grayish pallor.
“Trey, come on. Let’s keep up.”
Julian stopped running and studied Nicole as she focused on her child. Her reddish hair, worn in one long braid, was backlit by the sun, which created an almost ethereal glow to her whole face. Dressed in a mauve colored fleece jacket, black stretch pants and sneakers, she looked like a teenager. She was so naturally, innocently beautiful, and so unaware of it, that he felt like taking her in his arms right at this moment and sweeping her off her feet, lifting her so high that she would never touch the ground again.
He smiled and watched Trey flapping his arms in imitation of a seagull flying overhead. Trey wanted them to be together, and in the uncluttered heart and mind of a child, there was no reason why they shouldn’t be. It was just as natural as birds flying, the sun rising, or going to sleep at the end of the day.
His and Nicole’s lives were far from being simple and natural. How could a woman who loathed or feared all things connected with being in the spotlight marry a man whose whole life revolved around it? How could a woman who seemed terrified of having a physical relationship learn to enjoy it? What if they got married and she really did hate sex? It would be appalling to make love to a woman knowing that she was only doing it to please him.
Marriage? Was he really thinking about marriage? He had only known Nicole for a few months, yet, amazingly, he was envisioning the consequences of commitment. Still, this reserved woman and her child made him feel more alive and needed than anyone else had, ever. They made him feel connected to a family again, and that was pretty special. But was it special enough to survive cultural, physical, and emotional turmoil?
“Julian, look. Have you ever seen one like this before?” Nicole presented him with a fiery red maple leaf with pronged tips of gold. “Trey found it.”
“That’s pretty spectacular,” Julian said, ruffling Trey’s hair. “Nature’s definitely the best artist.”
“This is what I miss most about up North,” Nicole said. “When I was little my father would take Ally and me to one of the parks and we’d walk around just collecting leaves. I always found the best ones, but Ally would steal them when we got home.”
Julian slid his arm around her and she in turn hugged Trey and huddled against him, lost in her reflections. “We had plenty to rake in our yard too. Ally and I would dive into these huge piles of leaves and bury ourselves. We’d have leaf fights with the kids next door.” She breathed in the damp, chilly air. “It’s funny, I’d never let Trey do that now. I’d be afraid of him getting bit by a tick and getting Lyme disease.”
“Weren’t there ticks back then?” he asked, staring up at the sky.
She hesitated. “I’m sure there were. We just know more about the dangers now.”
“Oh, yes, modern man and his great knowledge,” Julian commented as though he were about to make an eloquent speech. “The knowledge that takes all the joy out of life.”
“That’s true,” she said softly. “But I guess we’ve compensated by learning to find new joys.”
“I preferred the old ones.”
“So did I.” She hugged him and Trey tighter. “Now let’s stop talking like this. We’re not senior citizens yet.”
She noticed again that whenever their conversations touched on childhood memories, he had a tendency to become silent and moody. She did not want to feel that way now. She wanted to enjoy their time together, because when it was over, she knew he would be the man she would be telling stories about to the other senior residents of whatever nursing home she ended up in years from now. He would be the man she would remember for the rest of her life.
* * *
New York was over in a heartbeat. Nicole was back in Miami working, and Trey was back in school. The video wouldn’t be aired until early next year, when Julian’s new CD was released, so Nicole had decided to hold off telling her parents about their grandson’s participation in it. They still didn’t know that Julian was famous, and she was still being close-mouthed about him in general. Her intention was to tell them more about him after Thanksgiving, after she met his family.
* * *
Julian had to be downtown in an hour to appear on Rosanna, a talk show that was Latin America’s equivalent to Oprah. He had been on the show before, and knew he’d answer the usual questions about who he was allegedly dating, who his musical influences were, and how it felt to be considered a sex symbol. The latter was even more of a laugh these days since the woman he desired didn’t seem to view him in that way at all. The fans in the studio audience would also get to ask him questions, and after that he’d sing his latest song and it would be over.
“Julian,” an irritating voice rang out. Elena was in his apartment. He’d forgotten to lock the door.
“What is it?” he said from the bedroom. “I’m busy.”
He had been avoiding her ever since the incident with Amanda. The child had not paid any impromptu visits since then either, because he was sure Elena was seeing to it that she didn’t.
“This won’t take long,” she called. “I picked out what you should wear on the show.”
Julian opened the bedroom door and came down in quick strides. “Forget it,” he said, looking her squarely in the eyes. “I don’t need your valet services anymore. You’ve been fired.”
She studied him for a moment, as if she were not quite sure what to say, then laughed.
“Listen, I know that things haven’t been right between us, but I want you to know that it’s over. I forgive you. We are family and this…this avoiding each other is ridiculous and ignorant.”
“You forgive me?” Julian repeated. “Well, now, isn’t that big of you? Where’s Amanda? Being held hostage in her room?”
“Can’t you just drop the sarcasm? Amanda is in Orlando with her cousins.”
“Really? For almost a month?”
“No. She hasn’t been there for a month. If you must know the truth, I never did think it was proper for a little girl to spend so much time with her uncle. It’s more acceptable this way, and it has nothing to do with what happened in the swimming pool.”
Julian yawned and looked apathetic. “Whatever you say, Elena. She’s your kid.”
“You were never that close to the boys,” she countered defensively.
“That would have been impossible,” Julian said, with a quick laugh. “The boys were too much like you.” He recalled the early years with his bratty nephews who when they were young, had treated him not like an uncle, or even an older brother, but more like a servant.
Elena sighed heavily. “Can’t we ever have a discussion without insinuations? This nonsense has just got to stop. Next week is Thanksgiving and we’re having our usual family gathering. Carmen and Diego Ramos are coming.”
Julian studied his reflection in the mirror, trying to determine if he should wear a tie or not. “I thought this was just family.”
“Carmen and Diego came from Cuba with us. As far as I’m concerned, they are family. I do believe they’re bringing their daughter too. You remember Lydia, don’t you?”
She was doing it again—getting to him in the worst kind of way. “Of course I remember Lydia. I went out with her a few times. She’s a nice kid, but don’t even think about it. I’m not going to marry her.”
Elena looked flustered. “Marry? Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Who said anything about that?”
“You did. You’re so predictable that it isn’t even funny.”
“I’m just telling you that she’s coming, that’s all. I also think you should know that Lydia is not a kid anymore. She’s a very pretty young lady and she might surprise you.”
“We’ll just see who’s going to be surprised,” Julian muttered.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. If Lydia wants to come and be bored to death, that’s her business. I probably won’t even be at the gathering for more than an hour. I have other things to do.”
Elena looked stricken. “But it’s Thanksgiving! Don’t you have respect for your family anymore? That’s not how I raised you.”
He picked up his car keys. “You didn’t raise me. My father did.” He walked past her as if she were not there.
Elena’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly. When she finally found her words, she yelled after him. “Wait a minute. What are you doing? Isn’t the chauffeur taking you?
“Why? I can drive.”
“And you can’t possibly be wearing that hideous suit, are you?”
Her words were drowned out by the sound of his departing car.
* * *
Nicole waited outside the hospital for Julian to pick her up. He had dropped her off at work and then told her that he’d be back from some business event at around the time she got off duty. It still felt odd having him pick her up, but with both of their hectic schedules, seeing each other was a juggling act.
The silver Lexus pulled up and she slid in. She felt even more misplaced when she saw that he was wearing a dark-colored suit with a burgundy silk shirt that was open at the collar.
“Are you coming from a fashion shoot?” she asked.
“No. I always dress like this. How about making a late-night stop at one of the clubs before going home?
She laughed, imagining them stepping into a nightclub with him looking like a male model and her still dressed as a nurse. “You better be kidding. Halloween’s over.”
He smiled. “What if I’m not? Actually I just left downtown. Had to present an award at a banquet for a friend.”
Nicole studied him in silence as he drove. What she really wanted to do right now was go straight to his place instead of her own. She wanted to sip champagne until she became giddy with unrestrained passion. She wanted to forget all about time, space and consequences and just allow her intriguing Latin lover to do whatever he wanted—whatever they both wanted. She tilted her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. It was a good thing he couldn’t read her mind.
“I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving,” Julian said as he pulled the car into the parking lot of her place.
Nicole kept her eyes shut. “Hmm it’s next week. What about it?”
“Maybe we could do something special, like go to Aspen.”
“Aspen!” Her eyes flew open and she sat upright. “But I thought we were going to your fam—”
“Yes, I did say that,” he interrupted. “But I’ve been thinking that it’s really going to be boring and…”
“It’s quite all right.” Nicole said stiffly, trying to conceal her hurt. “Why trouble yourself with Aspen? Trey and I will go to Chicago to be with my parents.” She did not want to hear the rest of what he was saying. It was perfectly obvious that he did not want her to meet his family. As long as their friendship remained covert, everything was fine. She opened the car door.
“Listen, will you just wait a minute,” Julian said. “I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true. I’m not changing the plan. I was only suggesting.”
She glared at him with the door still open. “Why are you suggesting? If you really don’t want me to meet your family, why don’t you just come out and say so. It was your idea to begin with.”
He started laughing. “That’s right. It was my idea, and I haven’t changed my mind. You should meet them.”
Nicole took a silent breath and shook her head. There were times like this when she wondered if Julian Marquez was in his right mind. She didn’t see anything funny about the discussion at all.
“Close the door,” he said quietly. “I only suggested going away because I happen to enjoy our time together. Attending a family gathering isn’t exactly enjoyable, especially when it’s my family.”
Nicole allowed the car door to close. She hated the way she was always so quick to jump to negative conclusions about him. He was probably just being honest. “Okay, I think I know what you’re saying, but it’s all right. I’ve been to enough family gatherings of my own. Let’s see, there’s Uncle Aaron who drinks too much, Aunt Millie who can’t stop gossiping, the cousins who always fight. Should I go on?”
He smiled. “I see you get the point, but I’d t
ake Uncle Aaron and the gossipy aunt any day. I care about my family, but sometimes we’re really cruel.”
“A lot of families are,” she agreed. “I’m sure it’s not intentional, but sometimes when people are familiar and comfortable with each other, they think it gives them the right to say whatever they want with no thought of tact or sensitivity.”
Julian stared out the window at the stars dusting the ebony sky. Thanksgiving was certainly going to be an interesting day, but it was only a few hours. They’d get through it and move on.
“Julian?” Nicole asked questioningly, hesitating for a moment. “I know you told me before that your father is dead, but what about his side of the family? Are you in touch with them?”
“I have some relatives on his side, but the majority of them are still in Cuba. The ones here are mostly from my mother’s side.”
She caught the now familiar I’d rather not talk about it edge creeping back into his voice, but she was tired of all the mystery surrounding his past and she wanted to know.
“Could you please tell me a little about your mother? You said she took her own life. What exactly went wrong?”
He did not look at her, choosing instead to stare at the sky. When he spoke his tone was tight and clipped. “I don’t know what went wrong. I guess today they’d label it manic depressive, bi-polar, north-polar, whatever. Anyway, it got so bad that she didn’t want to live so she tripped out.”
“That must have been very difficult for you to deal with,” she pressed.
“Not really.” He sounded angry. “I didn’t know my mother. She was married, but separated from this…this communist jerk who was Elena’s father. My mother and my father were just lovers who never got married, and I lived with my father and my aunt.”
Nicole sat silent, waiting for him to continue, realizing there was a lot of anger and emotion that he’d kept bottled up since childhood. She didn’t enjoy badgering him about it, but she knew all too well the effects of locked emotions. She thought about Trey.
“Whenever I had to visit my mother she was always in bed,” he continued. “I used to try to make her smile, but she always looked sad. She didn’t care about me or Elena. All she thought of was her own suffering. Elena had to take care of her like she was the child.”
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