Careful of the network of mechanical lifelines connected to his body, she gently touched the uninjured side of his face. “Hey, handsome,” she whispered. “I know you can hear me. When you wake up we’re going to have that talk. I really didn’t want us to break up either. It’s been miserable without you. It’s just that I was hurt and thinking only about my stupid pride. I’m over it, Julian. Please forgive me. Please wake up.”
She lowered her face to his, brushing his mouth gently with her lips, then kissing him passionately, hoping childishly, foolishly, that something magical would happen. But there was no miraculous healing. The prince did not awaken from his slumber. She straightened up.
“Is there any change, nurse?” a voice behind her asked.
Nicole turned abruptly to confront a red-eyed, pale-faced Elena standing there. The woman, who had assumed that she was part of Johnson Memorial’s staff, froze now, recognizing her.
“You don’t work in this hospital,” she said in a low, tight voice.
“I know I don’t.” Nicole stepped back quietly. “I know how you feel about me, but I happen to care very much about your brother. When you love someone, it’s impossible to stay away from them.”
Elena said nothing, but she didn’t ask her to leave. She walked past Nicole and leaned over the silent Julian. She gently ruffled his hair and mouthed a prayer. Nicole remained standing, watching. She does care about him, she thought. In her own manipulative, twisted way, she really does care, and she’s devastated.
“As a nurse, I’ve seen many cases like this,” Nicole said softly. “Most of them recovered completely.”
“He’s just so special,” Elena said, without looking up from his face. “I remember when he was a baby and my mother first brought him home from the hospital, all that curly black hair, those big, dark eyes. He looked like a beautiful doll. I can’t lose him.”
“No one is going to lose him,” Nicole said, moving closer again. She reached for Julian’s inert hand, and squeezed it. “I’ll leave you two alone, but I will be back.”
She was sure Elena didn’t hear a word she said, but it didn’t matter. Even if the spiteful woman had launched into a venomous tirade, nothing would prevent Nicole from returning.
* * *
The next day there was still no change. Julian’s vital signs were all normal. The orthopedic surgeons wanted to fix his damaged knee, but they had to hold off because he was unconscious. The waiting game continued, further agonizing his family, and the fans who kept a faithful vigil outside the hospital.
Nicole told Trey, because she thought Julian would want him to know. She’d learned that keeping secrets about the health of loved ones from a child wasn’t always the best thing.
Trey’s reaction was immediate. He wanted to see Julian. Nicole tried to dissuade him because she didn’t know if it would be allowed, but he was adamant. That morning, they both left for the hospital.
“Trey, come on, let’s go,” she said, holding open the car door, wondering if he was getting cold feet at the last minute.
Trey slid out of the car, holding tightly to his guitar. You can’t bring that, Nicole thought and was about to open her mouth, but suddenly she just shut it and escorted him into the hospital.
There were two guards posted outside of intensive care. Nicole hesitated. Trey looked at her. “Trey, I’m sorry, but I don’t think they’re going to let us in.”
Trey looked at her and abruptly yanked his hand free from hers. He ran right past the guards and into the room. One of them made a move to stop him.
“No! Nicole said in a loud whisper. “Don’t you dare touch my son. I’ll get him.”
Not wanting to risk a scene with a mother and her child, he backed off. A nurse stopped Trey and just as Nicole was about to approach, Luis appeared from Julian’s cubicle.
“What? What is this?” he asked, then instantly recognized Nicole and Trey. He turned to the nurse. “I know them. Please make an allowance for just a few minutes.”
The nurse and a few of the others at the station looked flustered, but they nodded. Nicole breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” she said to Luis.
Julian looked the same as he had yesterday. For a moment, Trey just stood there looking at him with a mixture of bewilderment and trepidation.
“He can’t talk because he’s unconscious,” Nicole whispered. “Remember what I told you before we left the house?”
Trey tugged at her arm. Can I shake him and wake him up?
“No. That doesn’t work when a person is unconscious. You can…” She almost started to say you can talk to him, but of course Trey couldn’t do that. “You can touch him, but no shaking.”
Trey turned away and knelt down on the floor to open the guitar case. Nicole caught her breath but did not stop him. Luis returned and stood silently like a sentry, watching. Elena came and stood beside him, looking shocked when she realized what was about to happen.
“He can’t do that,” she declared in a loud whisper.
“Shhh!” Luis hissed. “I don’t see why not.”
Trey climbed up to sit on the edge of the bed, and Nicole guided him carefully. He held the guitar and started to play, a very serious expression on his childish face. Instead of looking down at the chords, he focused on Julian. Nicole did not recognize the song, but the tune had Spanish overtones.
“Stop this nonsense, now,” Elena declared, stepping forward.
“No!” Luis held her back.
Julian did not want to wake up. He heard the music of the tide splashing up against the shore, accompanied by the distant cry of a lone seagull. He felt as if he were on a small boat, being rocked gently by the waves to the faint, but increasing sound of a guitar being played, a guitar being played rather badly. He tried to block it out and listened for the tide again.
Wake up, son, his father’s voice said.
The guitar sounds intensified and became worse.
Trey continued to play and everyone literally stopped breathing as Julian’s eyelids fluttered. Was it just an involuntary reflex action? No, it was not. He turned his head away from the window and faced Trey. His eyes opened. Trey smiled.
“Pretty good,” Julian murmured in a hoarse whisper, and then his voice grew stronger. “But you messed up on the A chord. Once more and do it right.”
Trey beamed and started to play the song again. Luis was grinning from ear to ear. Elena’s mouth was open wide. Nicole rubbed away tears of joy. And a child will lead them all, she thought.
Trey finished the song and encouraged by Julian, was about to give him a big bear hug, but Nicole quickly, carefully, swooped him and the guitar off the bed. “Sorry, guys, but this is a hospital.”
The small cubicle suddenly seemed to fill up with people materializing from the walls. The low buzz of whispered voices and tears of joy grew into a crescendo and the diligent staff moved in, ordering them all out.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“Thanks for bringing Trey,” Julian said hours later when they were alone. He had been moved into a private room and was no longer hooked up to a respirator or a monitor.
“We had to see you,” she said. “There was never any question about that.”
He did not seem to comprehend anything behind what she said. “I hope you agree that I can keep giving Trey lessons. That little kid of yours is pretty special to me.”
“Trey is very special,” she agreed.
“Good. Now that we’ve gotten that straight, there’s no need for you to waste any more time here.”
Waste any more time? she thought, a sickening feeling creeping over her. “I’m hardly wasting my time. I care about you.”
He shrugged. “I know, and I appreciate it, but I’m going to be all right. Don’t you have to work tonight?”
It dawned on her what he was doing. She wanted to tell him that she was not working and that there was nowhere she would rather be than right here with him. She wanted to tell him everything, but it had been a long da
y. He was tired, probably in pain, and he was scheduled for surgery in the morning. It would be extremely irrational and stupid of her to expect his undivided attention.
She sighed. “I’m off duty tonight. I’m going to leave you now, but only because you need to rest. I’ll be back tomorrow.” She kissed him and he moved abruptly so that the kiss glanced off the side of his face instead of his mouth.
“Don’t you get it, Nicole? You don’t have to come back tomorrow, or ever. If you want to know about the surgery, just call up and ask.”
Hurt, Nicole backed away. “I…I’m sorry for annoying you. If that’s what you want, I will call and find out. Bye.”
“Goodnight,” he said, without looking at her.
Nicole left the hospital and did not cry until she was sitting in her car. Tears of joy that he was alive and would be okay mingled with her tears of pain at his rejection. She sat there clutching the steering wheel for almost an hour, drowning in pent-up emotions.
* * *
Julian stared at the endless array of flowers, cards and balloons all over the room. The scene was frighteningly too familiar. He wanted to walk out of the hospital immediately, but he couldn’t. He felt as if he’d been run over by a truck, and despite the tranquilizers, his heavily bandaged knee throbbed painfully. The orthopedic surgeon had explained that there were no fractures, and they could easily repair the ligament damage. After that he’d have weeks of physical therapy. Just when life was bad, it always managed to get a little worse.
He was thankful to Luis and his publicists for masterfully applying press damage control immediately after the accident. The police had initially reported that he was drunk, speeding, and completely responsible for running the car off the road into a tree. After the investigation had been done, questions started coming up. There had been additional skid marks on the road indicating that another car had been involved.
Now that he was conscious, Julian’s foggy memory of the events had returned. He had told one of the visiting detectives that another car had been approaching head-on before the crash. They were looking for that car now. No one was questioning his sobriety or judgment at this point.
He had also been told that if he hadn’t been wearing a seat belt, or if the car hadn’t had an airbag, he’d probably be dead. Would it really have been such a tragedy had that been the case? The pain was making him cynical again. Despite everything that had happened, he didn’t feel the overwhelming gratitude for life that he knew he should be feeling. The only wonderful thing he recalled was waking up and seeing Trey’s genuine smile as he played the guitar and Nicole standing at his side, until he realized that she was only there out of a sense of duty, like all the others.
* * *
The surgery was done the next morning and took roughly an hour. There were no complications and the doctors said that after routine physical therapy, he would be perfectly all right. The family celebrated. Julian tried to be happy, but what he really wanted was a drink. The only visitor who noticed his despair was Wade.
About five days after the accident, he was out of the hospital and back home. Elena tried to insist on hiring a nurse, but he turned down the offer. He claimed he was fully capable of taking care of himself. He wondered why no one believed him.
On Saturday, Nicole called the hospital and was told that Julian had been released. It was entirely too soon, but knowing him, she was not surprised. He had probably insisted on leaving. She wanted to see him, but after the last encounter, she wasn’t quite sure how to handle his hostility. The decision to visit was determined on Sunday afternoon when she got an unexpected call from Wade.
“Nicole, I don’t mean to put you on the spot, since I know what I’m asking might be awkward,” he began.
“Yes?” She waited.
“Julian loves you, but he’s just too damn stubborn to admit it. The point I’m trying to make is that he needs you. I’m worried about him. I was over by his place a few minutes ago, and nobody answered the door. There is no reason for him to be out. He’s supposed to be home recuperating.”
Nicole hesitated. She was worried, but did not want to jump to conclusions. “Did you ask Luis or Elena?”
“They’re not home. I think Julian’s there alone and drunk.”
Depression and alcohol were a lethal combination. Fear for Julian overcame her reservations. She thought about that awful Thanksgiving and she recalled how he’d appeared to be in an almost dazed state of mind. There was definitely something wrong and it was not his fault. Suddenly she didn’t care what negative thing he might say to her. She loved him and she was going to be there for him whether he wanted her to or not.
“Wade, I’m going to check on him, but I really have to know more. You two have been friends for a long time. Is Julian an alcoholic? I want to help him, but I need to know the truth.”
“No. He’s not an alcoholic yet. He gets depressed sometimes and drinks. I don’t know how to explain this, but he’s, well, he’s an artist. He’s got a strange mind. Sometimes he thinks more about things than he should, things that other people just let go of. My wife calls it sensitivity. I call it just plain crazy, but that’s my man. He’s always been there for me and my family, but it’s as if no one can ever be there for him.”
Nicole took a deep breath. “I hear you. I really do want to be there for him, but I can’t help him if I don’t know what the problem is. Would you know if Julian has ever been treated for depression?
“Luis and his witch would probably know that. He’s never discussed it with me.”
“Wade, I’m leaving the house right now. Would you please come with me?
Wade gave an audible sigh of relief. “I’ll meet you at his place.”
* * *
They both arrived at the estate simultaneously. Nicole followed Wade up the stairs. The door was partially open.
“That’s funny,” Wade said. “It was locked before.”
“Let’s go in,” she urged.
“Hey, Julian!” Wade yelled, loud enough to awaken the dead.
There was no answer. “I’ll look down here,” Nicole said, entering.
Wade nodded. “I’ll check upstairs.
The beauty of the place eluded her now. It felt more like a prison. The door leading to the pool was locked. No one was in the game room and he was not out on the deck. She called his name several times.
“Not a trace,” Wade said, reappearing. “Let’s check around the grounds.”
It was a raw, gray day, with the sun an opaque blur in the dreary sky. Nicole shivered despite the fact that she was wearing a heavy sweater. It was not a day to be out strolling around, especially if you had just been released from the hospital.
Wade walked a few paces ahead of her, and then he turned and looked back. “I just thought I’d tell you about what kind of man Julian is. Ten years ago we were together on a big tour in Japan. My wife was home expecting our second daughter, Julie.”
“Julie?” Nicole questioned, quickening her pace.
“Yeah, we named her after him. Anyway Yvette went into labor prematurely. There were complications. I had to quit in the middle of this big tour to come back to Miami. Julian came back with me. He postponed the whole tour. Didn’t have to do that, mind you. He could have easily found another bass player. He sat in that waiting room with me the whole time. Julie was born and she had a heart problem. He helped us find the best specialist in the country. They operated on her and she’s been fine ever since. Julian was with us through it all.”
Nicole felt her eyes getting mistier. “I understand. I know what kind of man Julian is too.”
Wade branched off in the direction of the stables and Nicole felt compelled to search the dock area. The closer she got to the water’s edge, the faster her heart beat. He was there somewhere, she sensed it.
“Julian!” she shouted.
His name echoed on the waves and came back to her. She found him lying sprawled face down on the dock, one arm dangling almost in the
water. A now familiar panic seized her as she dropped to her knees beside him. She felt for the pulse in his neck. It was there, strong.
“Wade!” she screamed, motioning with her arms. “Wade, over here!”
Gently, she shook him. He mumbled something incoherent, groaned and tried to shield his face with his arm. He was wearing only a sleeveless undershirt and navy blue, drawstring-type pants. She made a quick assessment of his injuries and noted that there didn’t appear to be any additional damage. He was just drunk.
Wade appeared, ashen-faced. “He’s okay,” Nicole assured him. “Just cold and disoriented. We’ve got to get him back inside.”
“I don’t know about you, amigo,” Wade muttered to Julian. “There are easier ways to commit suicide.”
Between the two of them they managed to get him back to the house. It took a while because they had to be careful of his injuries. Wade literally carried him up the stairs and gently lowered him on the bed. “Should have just thrown you down, you crazy fool,” he muttered. “You’re gonna be paying my doctor’s bills when I get a hernia.”
Nicole laughed in spite of it all. She covered Julian with blankets. There was nothing to do now but wait for him to sleep it off. Wade said he had to leave and Nicole assured him that it was okay. She thanked him for everything and he thanked her.
“If you need me just call.” He gave her his number.
“Oh, one thing. Do you think maybe you could make a raid on the liquor cabinet?”
Wade flashed a wicked grin. “Good idea. I’ll take everything.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“I told my family that I didn’t need a nurse,” Julian said upon awakening and discovering her presence. He was clearly annoyed.
“You’re right,” Nicole said, smiling sweetly. “You don’t need a nurse. You need a combination of babysitter, guardian angel and dare I say, mother.”
“And you’re wearing all three hats?” He tried to sit up, but couldn’t because his head was pounding, not to mention the pain he felt everywhere else.
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