by Darcy Burke
“Oh, hell.” Hayden dropped his arms to his sides and crossed the kitchen and stood next to him. Both Luke and Jamie came closer too.
“It’s not like I had this Big Plan. Like I said, I didn’t expect this. Then I met Brooke, and I just fell for her. Hard. Somewhere in the recesses of my consciousness, I had this idea of a house and a wife and kids here in Ribbon Ridge.”
“So she can’t have kids at all?” Jamie asked.
“Nope. No eggs, dysfunctional uterus. Nothing happening.” His heart twisted. He wanted to punch her ex-husband more than ever now. How could he have walked away from Brooke?
The same way Cam had walked away from her last night and was thinking of doing permanently.
Except, a tiny voice in the back of his head argued, you aren’t married. Your commitment isn’t the same. You can walk away…
But could he? He loved her, and the thought of turning his back on what they’d stumbled upon made him feel like he’d been hit by a Mack truck. And backed up over and run over again.
“What about adoption?” Luke asked. “Or a surrogate? Can’t you use someone else’s egg for that? I admit I know dick about this.”
“Yes, that’s possible,” Hayden put in. “Bex and I researched different options when she had trouble getting pregnant.” He looked at Cam apologetically, as if he were sorry they had gotten pregnant.
Was that what happened to Brooke whenever she told people she couldn’t have children? She got pitying looks and sympathetic comments? That had to get real old real fast. Not that Cam thought that Hayden pitied him. Still, it was a delicate subject and completely new to Cam. If he was going to be with Brooke, he needed a crash course.
“What are you going to do?” Jamie asked. “And can we do anything to help?”
“Besides getting completely up in my grill?” Cam smiled. “No, you can’t do anything. I’m still not sure, but I think I need to figure it out with the person who matters most.”
“You really do love her,” Hayden said. His lips curved into a broad grin. “I knew it. I’m so happy for you.” He gripped Cam’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
Cam’s achy head twitched. “Yikes, Hay, I’m still not feeling that great.”
Hayden pulled his hand back with a laugh. “Understandable. You sure you can function? Maybe you should take the rest of the day off?”
“With the dinner on Saturday?” He shook his head. “Way too much to do. I need to find something to eat and get back to it.” Even if he was ready to talk to Brooke right now, he really didn’t have time. There were far too many things that needed his immediate attention. He supposed he needed to make sure that she was still coming. She’d invited that critic from Wine Enthusiast and really ought to be here for networking purposes. She’d come. She was a consummate professional.
“Okay, but don’t overdo it.” Luke moved past him and opened the fridge. “Can I make you a sandwich at least?”
When they’d been younger, Cam, as the oldest, had often made them sandwiches for lunch. “Sure, thanks.”
Later, when Cam went back to his office, he was tempted to pick up his phone and call Brooke. But what would he say? His thoughts still weren’t organized, but he felt better than he had last night. There was a lingering pain from her lack of trust in him, but he wanted to believe they could get through it. No relationship was ever going to be easy. He just wanted to be damn sure he didn’t put all his heart into someone who would cut it out. Been there, done that.
He hoped Brooke was who he thought she was. He’d find out soon enough.
The last two days had passed in a blur in which Brooke focused harder than ever on work. She’d stealthily avoided actually talking to her sisters, limiting her contact with them to text only. She thought they understood, but Rhonda still sent apology texts at least five times a day.
It had felt great to spend this afternoon with her new circle of friends. She’d met up with Crystal, Alaina, and Kelsey at the library—rather, upstairs from the library. They’d been poring over their stockpile of records for the elusive N name, assuming that was even the missing piece. So far they hadn’t found anything, but they had piles left to go. No way would they make it through everything today.
Brooke was grateful for this project. It kept her mind occupied, and that was the best thing possible.
“Whoa,” Crystal said from her table, where she sat next to Alaina, papers spread out before them. “I just found a guy named Nathaniel.”
Alaina leaned over and looked at the paper in Crystal’s hand. “Nathaniel Danforth, died 1903.”
“Death certificate?” Kelsey asked. She and Brooke were sharing a table pushed up against Crystal and Alaina’s.
Crystal nodded. “Place of birth is St. Louis in 1835. Parents are Warren Danforth and Margaret Tobin.”
They sat there and looked at each other for a moment.
“Okay, so not super helpful, but it’s something.” Crystal set the paper in a blank space toward the middle of the tables. “I’ll just set this here.”
They continued on for a while, music streaming from the Internet playing in the background as they worked. “Ugh,” Alaina said, standing. “I need to stretch.” She arched her back and bent to touch her toes.
Brooke turned the page in the diary she’d started reading a little bit ago. So far it had only managed to distract her. She’d tried to skim it, but it was fascinating. It had been written by one of the Archers’ ancestors, someone named Maribel Walker. She wrote stories about her children, about their daily tasks, about things going on in town. She reminded herself to stop reading and just look for N names or BNR, but suddenly something jumped out at her:
Bird’s Nest Ranch.
There it was: BNR. The initial letters leapt off the page at her. She read the entry from the start.
August 8, 1881
The clouds finally moved in today for a bit of respite from the heat, though it didn’t rain. Working to irrigate the fields continues to be the focus of so many in Ribbon Ridge. Thomas went up to Bird’s Nest Ranch today to lend a hand. It doesn’t look too good for them, but hopefully Hiram will recover. I worry for Dorinda if he doesn’t.
The next paragraph talked about harvesting berries and making jam. Brooke looked up from the diary. “Hey, Crystal and Alaina, did you see this Bird’s Nest Ranch?”
All three heads popped up and pointed toward Brooke. “What’s that?” Crystal asked.
“Bird’s Nest Ranch—the initials. I was just thinking what if they aren’t a person’s name.”
Crystal blinked. “Well, damn.”
Kelsey leaned over and looked at the diary. “Who are Thomas and Hiram and Dorinda?”
“Thomas is Maribel’s husband. This is her diary,” Brooke said. She looked around at all three of them. “I’m guessing Hiram and Dorinda own the ranch. Maribel writes about how Thomas went to help them, but that things don’t look good—Hiram is sick or something.”
“When is that?” Alaina asked.
Brooke rechecked the date. “August 8, 1881.”
“Well, don’t leave us hanging,” Crystal said. “Keep reading!”
Brooke chuckled. “Okay.” She returned to the diary and looked for mention of the Bird’s Nest Ranch. Every few minutes, someone would ask if she found something until Kelsey said they should knock it off. They all laughed, but the room was quiet until Brooke closed the diary.
“Nothing else,” she said dejectedly.
“That’s too bad,” Alaina murmured. “But I think I might have something. This is a death certificate for Hiram Olsen.” She looked up at them, her expression grim. “Date of death is August 14, 1881.”
Kelsey briefly put her hand to her mouth. “Oh, that’s terrible. Does it have a cause of death?”
Alaina glanced down. “It just says fever. His wife is listed here—Dorinda Foster.”
Crystal put down the paper she was reading. “I don’t know if the Bird’s Nest Ranch is what we’re looking for, but I want to know wha
t happened to it and Dorinda after Hiram died.”
“Me too,” Kelsey said. “I just keep thinking that it makes sense for the brick with the date on it to be associated with a place. I wonder if the brick was part of the ranch—the house or something.”
Alaina nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, me too.”
Brooke thought about the diary passage. “In the diary, Maribel said Thomas was going ‘up’ to the ranch. The brick came from a house built up on the hill at the winery. Maybe Bird’s Nest Ranch was on the hill?”
“It’s a good theory,” Crystal said. “Especially with a name like Bird’s Nest—like it’s up above the town maybe. It would be great if we could find something about the ranch with the 1879 date on it. Too bad they didn’t have building permits then.”
Kelsey smiled. “Very true.”
Crystal looked around at them. “Are there any town records? Like from the church or the town hall? Something that might list events or… I don’t know. I’m grasping at straws here.”
“No, you’re not.” Kelsey stood up and went to a bookshelf in the corner. “I borrowed this book from the McMinnville Library. It has some early photos. I thought it might be helpful.” She sat back down and thumbed through it. Brooke craned her neck to see over Kelsey’s shoulders. They were photographs of places in the county. She turned page after page, but there was nothing in Ribbon Ridge.
“There’s something!” Brooke declared as the words Ribbon Ridge jumped out at her.
“That’s Main Street. It looks so different.”
Alaina and Crystal got up and joined them on their side of the tables. Soon all four were huddled over the book, looking at the old pictures of the town. Kelsey turned another page, and the sound of their breaths catching filled the room.
There on the page was a photograph of a man and a woman in front of a clapboard farmhouse. The caption read: Bird’s Nest Ranch, 1879.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Crystal whispered.
Kelsey looked around at them, beaming. “I think we found the origin of our brick.”
They began to laugh and shout and high-five.
After a minute of exuberance, Alaina stood with her hands on her hips. “Great work, ladies.”
“Oh, but it’s not finished,” Crystal said, looking down at the photo. “I have to know what happened to the ranch and Dorinda.”
“Absolutely.” Kelsey flipped through the rest of the book, but there was nothing more about the ranch. She turned back to the picture and left the book open on that page. “I haven’t been up to the winery. Does this look like the house is in the same place?”
Brooke studied the photograph. It was hard to tell since images from that period weren’t terribly clear, but it did seem that there was a slope behind them. “It could be. I think we have more research in front of us.”
“Does that mean we’re all on board?” Crystal asked.
“I am, definitely,” Brooke said without hesitation. She was as intrigued by the mystery of Dorinda Olsen as the rest of them.
“Me too, obviously,” Kelsey said.
Alaina put her hand on Kelsey’s shoulder. “Count me in!”
“Excellent!” Crystal glanced at her fitness tracker on her wrist. “Geez, is it that late? No wonder my stomach is grumbling. I think it’s time to call it a day. At least for me.”
“Yeah, I need to get home to Alexa and Evan,” Alaina said. “I didn’t realize it was that late.” She went around the table and gathered up her purse and jacket.
Crystal did the same. “Is it okay to leave everything out like this?”
“Definitely,” Kelsey said. “I hope you guys don’t mind, but I’ll probably sneak up here as much as my schedule will allow. I’ll let you guys know if I find anything.”
Crystal pulled out her phone. “Sounds good. Should we set up our next group time?”
“Yes, let’s do that,” Alaina said.
Brooke pulled out her phone. It was terrible, but every time she looked at it since the other night, she kept hoping there was a text or call from Cam. And each time there was nothing, with now being no different.
“Brooke?” Kelsey asked. “Does Monday night work for you?”
Brooke mentally shook herself. “Probably. Let me look.”
She opened her calendar and saw the winery dinner tomorrow night. She hadn’t decided if she should go. But somebody for Willamette should. She’d told her boss yesterday that they needed to assign West Arch Estate to someone else, but they hadn’t done it yet.
Kelsey nudged her, and Brooke realized she’d lost track again. She looked at Monday and said, “Yep, I’m good.”
Crystal peeked around Kelsey and asked, “You okay? You’ve seemed a little off today, but I don’t know you too well, so maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“I’m fine… Just a little off my game.”
Kelsey’s gaze took on a knowing glint. “Is it what I think it is?”
Brooke laughed nervously, not at all sure she wanted to tell them what had happened. But she supposed she had to tell Kelsey since she thought Brooke and Cam were dating. Plus, Kelsey was her friend. And so were Crystal and Alaina.
“It might be,” Brooke said. “Cam and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
Kelsey touched her arm. “I’m sorry to hear that. But wow, that was quick.”
“We want different things.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. Was she going to hide this forever? It was who she was, and it was time she learned to live with it. “No, that’s not quite right. We’d like the same things, I think, but it isn’t in the cards for us. I can’t have children, and I think that’s a deal breaker for him.”
All three women gasped and immediately hugged her. The people Brooke had told had reacted similarly, but this felt different. Maybe it was the fact that it was three of them. It was like empathy in surround sound.
Alaina went and got her chair and brought it around next to Brooke’s. “Sit and tell us all about it.”
Brooke wasn’t sure what to do with the attention on such a sensitive subject. She didn’t regret telling them, yet she wasn’t sure she was ready to open up completely. “You need to get home. It’s okay.”
Alaina shook her head firmly. “Not a chance. You need some shoulders, and here’s six of them.”
Kelsey turned her chair to face Brooke’s and moved Brooke’s so that it was facing out. Crystal fetched her chair, and soon the three of them were seated in a semicircle.
Crystal pointed at the empty chair. “Sit. We’re not going anywhere. Unless you really want us to.”
Surprisingly, Brooke found she didn’t. She dropped into the chair and summoned a smile. “Thanks.”
Alaina reached over and patted Brooke’s knee. “We had a child-related situation before we got married—Evan and I. I was actually trying to have a baby on my own—that damned biological clock was killing me—and inadvertently got pregnant with him. Oops. Happy occurrence, right? Only if the baby daddy wants to be a baby daddy, which Evan didn’t think he did. No, he was damned sure he was never going to be a father.”
Brooke relaxed listening to Alaina talk. It soothed her own anxiety. “Why?”
“Maybe you don’t know, but Evan has Asperger’s syndrome. He didn’t think he’d make a very good dad, and he didn’t want to chance passing that on to his kid.” She exchanged a smile with Crystal. “Lucky for me, he decided he loved me enough to give it a try, and you know what? He’s the best damned dad Alexa could ever have. And no, she doesn’t have Asperger’s, but that doesn’t mean our next kid won’t. Yes, we’re trying for another one, and I think we may have been successful. But shhh, don’t tell anyone. We haven’t spilled the news to his family yet.”
Crystal smiled smugly. “I knew, of course.”
Alaina laughed. “Of course. Anyway, I know this story doesn’t really have much to do with yours, except that sometimes even in the face of certain adversity, things can work out.”
> “I’m so glad they did for you,” Brooke said. “I just don’t know if that will happen here. Cam and I just started dating. I’m not sure there’s enough between us to make it worth fighting for.” Saying that made her throat constrict because she loved him, and she’d come to realize over the past couple of days that she wanted to fight for a future with him, but she couldn’t if he wasn’t invested too.
Alaina crossed her legs. “So, when I was looking into my own baby-making options, I was amazed at how many ways there are to have a family without a man. Not that you don’t want a man, but you get me.” She winked at Brooke. “I’m sure you’ve researched everything, but if you ever need a sounding board or want help hunting down information, I’m your girl.”
“We’re all your girls,” Crystal said. “Just look at what researching badasses we are.”
Everyone laughed again, and Brooke felt better than she had in ages. She also felt like she belonged here, something she’d begun to doubt heavily over the past few days. She’d even looked at other jobs within Willamette that were far away from Ribbon Ridge.
“Can you use a surrogate?” Kelsey asked.
“Not with my eggs. I don’t have very many, and the ones I do have are all nasty and useless.” For once, she was able to say that without feeling like she might be overwhelmed with grief again.
“Stupid eggs,” Crystal said. “I don’t know that I’ll ever use mine, and as far as I know, they’re peachy. Wish I could give them to you.”
Alaina’s eyes widened, and she turned her head toward her best friend. “Are you offering to be her surrogate?”
Crystal laughed. “Uh, no. Part of my probably not having children comes from an aversion to all the disgusting side effects that came along with your pregnancy. No, thanks.”
“Hey, there were lots of good things too.”
Brooke expected Alaina to apologize for saying that, and when she didn’t, Brooke realized she was glad she hadn’t. Talking about this with them was the most normal conversation she’d ever had. She didn’t feel pitied or condescended to. She just felt understood.