by Owner
Rolling his eyes, he stood and stretched and then ensured that the fire was
banked before striding out of his room and sending himself into his valet's
care.
****
Pressing her head against the cool satin of her pillow, which Janie insisted
softened her hair, Lily contemplated the evening's events and felt
discomforted by what had occurred.
Mostly, she was still frightened about what a seduction actually entailed and
how she would even go about doing it.
A part of her realized that if the sensation of feeling his lips close to hers and
his eyes boring down into her own as their bodies brushed was anything to
go by, then it would be a particularly incredible experience.
Deciding that the time for bluntness was now, she bolstered her courage by
reaching for a cushion and hugging it to her belly. “Janie?” Lily asked
hesitantly.
The bustling maid was still rearranging clothes and returning the jewelry
she'd been wearing into the appropriate cases. “Yes, miss.”
“What is a seduction?”
Janie spluttered and considering how redoubtable her maid was, it was not
confidence inspiring! “Why do you ask that, miss? You should be asking your
aunt, not me. In fact, I take that back. You shouldn't be asking that at all!”
“I can't ask her. I have already tried. And I must ask someone. It seems
that the entire world is conspiring to keep debutantes in the dark and I'm
growing rather tired of it!”
“Well, if she won't answer you then she certainly won't want me answering it
for you! And don't make on about being in the dark. You're there for a
reason! For your protection and to keep your respectability, miss.”
“Janie! Please! I have to know.”
“Why do you want to know?”
“I was . . . well, I heard something at a ball,” she lied with a shrug and
ducked her head to hide her gaze from Janie's.
“You oughtn't to be listening to gossip, Miss Lily,” Janie chastised gently.
“It's an evil thing is gossip. Hurt many a person it has!”
“I know, but it peaked my curiosity.”
“Well, don't let it!”
“Please, Janie! What is it? If you don't tell me then I'll just find someone who
will and no doubt embarrass us both in the process!”
Janie tutted and looked hunted for a moment. “Do you know what happens
in the marriage bed?” she finally replied, after sighing with a definite air of
defeat.
“Well, no, I don't.”
Janie licked her lips and then raised a hand and scratched her forehead.
“Didn't you learn nothing at Grantlake, miss?”
“What do you mean?”
“At the home farm, I mean?”
“What on earth happens there? Surely it's not in relation to what occurs
between man and wife?”
“Oh miss, are you sure you want to know about all this?” Janie asked,
concernedly. Her forehead pleated in a frown as she looked at the guileless
face of her charge.
“Of course, Janie. If I'm to be married at the end of this Season, then I will
know by then, won't I?” she retorted reasonably and bit her lip excitedly.
Very soon, she could know the answer to what it entailed and then be able
to protect her mother from that bastard's dirty paws. Knowledge, after all,
was power.
“Wouldn't you prefer to wait until then? When your husband could tell you
about it all?”
“No! Please, Janie!”
“Well, a seduction is usually out of the bounds of marriage, Miss Lily. So you
shouldn't really even know what it consists of. But in the marriage bed, the
man and the woman . . . well, they . . . play.”
“Play?” Lily asked with a frown. “Like jacks or a game of whist?”
Janie coughed and scratched her mob cap. “Not entirely.”
Impatient now, Lily frowned. “Then what? Janie!”
“A man has . . . well, you know what a snake is?”
“Of course.”
“Well, a man has one.”
“A man has a snake! Good Lord!” Lily replied, startled by her maid's words.
A snake? Instantly the nightmare she'd been assailed with only a few nights
ago came to her. Adders that slithered around her wrists and ankles . . . .
She had to shake her head to dispel the image. Whatever Janie meant, she
was sure that a man's snake did not look thus! At least, she hoped to God
they did not! How terrifying!
“No. Not like that, it's just well like that shape. In your aunt's garden,” Janie
muttered, obviously relieved to have something to use as a comparison.
“There's a statue? Correct?”
“Yes. Of Apollo, I think.”
“Well, that doesn't matter which God it is. Think about that part below his
waist.”
“The . . . .” Lily pondered her memories of the Grecian statues that she had
seen. “The bulge?”
“Yes. Well, it gets hard and then he puts it inside his lady and then he plants
his seed and that's how babies are made.”
“Does it hurt? It sounds painful. How hard does it become?” Lily replied,
more confused than ever.
“Miss Lily!” Janie scolded. “I'm a spinster! How should I know?”
“Sorry, Janie. Well, has someone spoken to you of this snake?”
“Of course, how do you think I know about it? But yes, at first, according to
my sister Sarah and she's had six children, so she should know! But
afterward, she says it can be quite pleasurable.” Janie ducked her head. “But
that is a confidence, miss. You oughtn't be asking me about all this.”
“Thank you for telling me, Janie. I know you felt uncomfortable.”
“It's your mama's job to tell you this kind of thing, Miss Lily.”
“I know, but I don't think mama is altogether collected enough to tell me
about anything of this nature. I'm truly grateful, Janie. I did not know who
else to ask, but knew that I had to know about it before . . . well, I wed.”
“Yes, miss, I know. If that's all you need . . . ?”
“Of course, you can retire now.”
“Thanks, miss.” Janie bobbed a curtsy and then hurried away as quickly as
possible, obviously fearful that Lily would ask her more questions.
Hiding a smile at Janie's behavior, Lily contemplated the details of seduction
and realized that the man who was threatening her into seducing Earl
fforbes-Hyde, would effectively be ruining her for marriage.
Any humor she had found at Janie's rapid retreat dissipated instantly. Now
knowing what it actually entailed, she realized that this would be worse than
being compromised. For many girls were forced to marry unsuitable men,
because they had been compromised, whereas she would not have the
chance to redeem herself in any way. She would be totally lost.
The only advantage would come from the fact that only three people would
know of her shame, the man threatening her, the Earl, and herself.
She closed her eyes at the thought.
This man was nefarious enough to pressure her into this seduction on pain of
her mother's life, what was to say that he wouldn't continue to threaten her
throughout her life? Once he had this information, then he would forever
have power
over her and would have no fear in using it.
If she did marry and managed to keep this a secret, there would always be
someone who knew of her shame.
More than anything, the thought frightened her and a slight tremble had her
curling on to her side and shivering against her blankets.
Although it was pointless, for she felt as though her heart had frozen, she
tried to rub her arms to heat her up but it was indeed to no avail. She felt so
cold and knew that it would never ever go, that it would follow her through
her life and felt despairing at the thought.
When she'd first been accosted by that bastard, the repercussions had failed
to hit her. Mostly, Lily had been so petrified that he would harm her mother
and that thought was still with her, but now was the terror that this
seduction of hers would become known throughout the ton and her mama
would be affected inadvertently.
Lily knew that her mama would not be able to withstand the shame were the
news to break and knew that there was no guarantee that it would not.
She turned on to her back and stared up at the four poster's ceiling and felt
tears begin to burn at her eyes and what hurt the most, was the fact that
the Earl, haunted as he was, had the potential to be the man she had been
seeking throughout this tedious Season.
Lily clenched her eyes tightly shut and shook her head against the pillow as
though denying it physically, meant that it weren't true. But one could not
lie to oneself and the emotions that the Earl had inspired in her had been so
foreign and so alien that she could not deny them. What they meant, Lily did
not know and in the circumstances she did not want to know.
A part of her thought to how Aunt Millie had said her mother and father had
fallen in love at first sight, and Lily feared that she had inherited that trait.
For she could easily recall the moment, in her mind's eye, when she had set
her sights on the Earl and knew that it was a moment she would never
forget. Regardless of the circumstances, of the pressure she was under,
there was something about him that had touched her deeply and she knew
that it would be something from which she would never recover.
Trying to tune out her thoughts, she curled once more on to her side and
tucked her legs upwards so that she rested in a fetal position. It gave her
some sense of comfort and she desperately needed that at this moment in
time.
Her dreams that night were as unpleasant as they had ever been. The
nightmares filled with a sense of fear that chased her endlessly and made
her slumber restless and discomforting.
****
Settled with his head on the pillow and his eyes staring sightlessly up at the
ceiling, Dorian grimaced as for what felt like the hundredth time since he'd
actually jumped into bed, his thoughts were once more trained upon that
intriguing female, Lady Mercer.
No matter how often he determined to change the direction of his thoughts,
they always returned to her and it was damned unnerving. He didn't want to
think of her, he didn't want to have anything to do with her. Women were
trouble and they could cause nothing but hurt, if one were to involve oneself
with them. Had he not learnt that? Was his current situation not because of
a woman?
His friends would jeer at that, but it was the truth. They brought nothing but
misery and distress and Camille had caused more than most, for he had
loved her. To love was to hurt.
He should have realized that from his parents' relationship.
Both had loved one another but had been unable to stand the other for
longer than a few moments. There had been a silent dedication and a
'trueness' to their relationship, but Dorian's mother had spent the majority
of time in London and his father at their estate.
Whenever they had come together, the clashes had always been
magnificent. A man did not like to think of the intimacy shared between his
parents, but his father had once told him that their intense dislike for each
other had caused a passion that throughout the longevity of their marriage
had never fizzled out.
Dorian could well understand it. His mother was still alive and he knew,
instinctively, that even though she was an attractive woman, she had never
even contemplated marriage to another man.
Love could be magical but it could also be toxic and Dorian wanted nothing
to do with it. That he could have inherited this trait to love and so unsuitably
crushed him further.
Perhaps it was rather premature to talk of such deeper emotions and so
soon, but there was something about her that called to him and spoke
purely and directly to his heart. It wasn't something he liked, hell not one
bit, but being honest with oneself was vital and Dorian tried to always be
that way.
It had been torture to dance with her. Hell. Fiery infernos had gathered at
his feet and burnt him as he had held her in his arms.
He'd not danced with anyone since Camille and neither had he shared a bed
with any woman since her death. Yet in that instant, when they had waltzed
around the crowded ballroom, desire had shot through him with a power
that, to this very moment, rocked him on his heels and forever changed the
way he would see himself.
He hated to admit it and felt terribly disloyal for feeling this way, but what
she had instigated with that one dance had felt . . . apocalyptic in intensity.
And it was something he had never before experienced. Not with Camille
and not with any other woman either.
What the hell had pushed her to choose him as a dance partner anyway?
He felt like damning her for having selected him. Because of her actions, she
had changed him and in ways he was only just realizing and he didn't like it,
not at all. It felt weak to admit it, but Dorian knew that he was frightened
and that he would have to avoid her, at all costs.
He refused to suffer any more at the hands of a woman and thus vowed to
learn of her whereabouts and bypass those balls and society functions. It
surely would not be too difficult. She was young and would probably only
attend the earliest of balls and if he was unfortunate to see her, then he
would escape to the card rooms.
To dance with her was no longer an option, not when it inspired these crazed
feelings for her. Feelings that had him wishing she was in this bed beside
him at this very minute and that he could consummate his desire for her.
His eyes fluttered close as he imagined her above him, her velvet skin
entirely bared to his gaze as she rode him to pleasure. Her tits jiggling as
she moved and her body roiling and arching sinuously as she rocked her hips
against his.
Unable to help himself, his hand slid beneath the sheet and he almost
winced as the fine linen grazed his already hardening cock. With spread
fingers, he cupped himself and licked his lips as his cock immediately
reacted to both the touch and the imagery in his mind. Dorian forced himself
not to think that this was the first time he'd felt sexual desire in four years.
Instead, he
concentrated on pleasuring himself, concentrated on the act
rather than the emotion behind it.
He had spent far too long in a world where emotion reigned supreme and in
the morning, he would return to that world. But for now, he could enjoy this.
Enjoy the feel of his blood heating and the sensation of pleasure rising
through him until he literally ached with it.
Fiercely gripping his dick, he handled his balls with the other fist and
imagined that it was her quim surrounding his cock, that her moist walls
were pulsing around him and pleasuring him as he'd never been pleasured
before. That she was taking him to heights that he had never before
experienced and only would with her atop or under him.
He closed his eyes and continued to imagine her. His mind took away the
dress she had worn, a robe that incited his desire for her, and he saw those
luscious curves again and felt desire and lust rip through him.
When his seed spurted on to the sheets, he felt like an untried, uncouth
young lad as he contemplated the mess he'd made.
Grunting, he grabbed the linen and cleaned his cock and felt sickened by
what he'd just done as he rolled over on to his side and tried to court sleep.
It did not work, as the bewitching face that used to haunt him was suddenly
exchanged by an enchanting red head whose fresh eyes and innocent
pureness had so intrigued him.
Eventually, after what felt like hours’ worth of trying, he fell into a restless
slumber and each time he awoke, Dorian knew that his plan to avoid the
stunning Lady Lily would be far more complex than he realized.
Even though he longed to deny it, and tried to fight it, it was too late. She
had already affected him . . . had already changed him in ways she could
not imagine. He could run from it, Dorian knew that, but for how long and
for how far?
Would she not always be there, not in person but in his mind?
He slammed his head against the pillow as he realized that all the sorrow of
the last four years had almost been for naught. He had yet to realize that for
a person to not be there physically did not mean that they could still not
actively affect the way he lived his life!
His fingers gripped into the sheet as tension ripped through him with the
force of a gale, which was swiftly followed by anger and sadness and only
after a fight, did he manage to slowly relax and eventually fell into a slumber