by Claire Adams
I nodded as I fought back the tears as Cam simply reached over and took my hand. We drove in silence back to his place.
The house was a beautiful, little two- story on the West Side of town. Cam explained that it was nestled in a neighborhood that had seen better days, but was now slowly rebuilding itself. He told me about how he'd spent hours working on the outer trim and making sure all of the elements from the roofing to the paint job were absolutely perfect.
"You've been lonely, haven't you?" I said quietly as he described the summer he spent sanding all of the gutters so he could paint them the perfect shade of cream to match the house. He didn't say anything, but I saw his jaw tighten.
At the house, he pulled into the garage and I could hear barking on the other side of the door. He smiled as he opened the door and a blur of yellow fur came tumbling out wagging her tail and woofing a welcome.
"Alex, this is Tesla. Tesla, this is Alex," Cam said introducing us to one another.
"Hello, Tesla, it's nice to meet you," I said squatting down so we were eye level and offering my hand to her. She looked up at Cam who nodded and then walked cautiously around me sniffing and bumping me with her nose. I waited patiently without moving until she'd made her assessment and laughed loudly as she leaned in and licked my face.
"I think she approves of you," Cam laughed as he ruffled her fur and said to her, "C'mon, you want to go out, girl?"
Tesla ran for the back door and waited with her tail wagging. Cam turned on the backlight and let her out into the yard. I caught of glimpse of the perfectly manicured lawn and garden and wondered how long it had taken him to create that.
"Yeah, I've been lonely," he said without explaining further. "Dinner?"
We sat down to a delicious dinner of pot roast with winter vegetables and a fresh salad. The table was a dark walnut that had been shined to the point that I could have used it as a mirror. It was surrounded by six, beautiful leather chairs in a shade of rust that came close to matching Cam's wild, wavy curls. I pointed this out and he laughed at the coincidence.
"Did you make this?" I asked stroking the table as I imagined his strong hands working the wood.
"No, I found it in a second-hand shop and had it polished," he said as he poured wine into the glass in front of me. He toasted and then sat quietly for a moment before he said, "Quinn never saw the finished house."
"Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with me," I smiled as I tucked my fantasies away in a far corner of my brain. Cam wasn't ready to go there with me, so I said, "And thank you for helping me and Liz."
"It's the least I can do," he said as he dug into the meal.
As I watched him eat, it struck me that there was something on his mind, but I knew that he wasn't going to talk about it until he was ready, so I steered the conversation in a comfortable direction, giving him space to figure it out. A couple of times I saw him take a deep breath as if he were going to say something, but then he would back off and offer me seconds or more wine. I knew the weight of whatever he was carrying was getting heavier by the minute, but I couldn't make him do anything he wasn't ready to do.
"Alex, I have to share something with you," he said as we curled up on the living room couch drinking coffee and eating a decadent chocolate dessert that he'd picked up from a French bakery near the station.
"Mmm hmm," I said as I took a bite of the cake and licked frosting off of the fork.
"Six months after Quinn died, I learned that I was the beneficiary of her life insurance policy," he began. "I didn't want the money because there was no amount of money that was going to ease the pain of losing her, but I got the check anyway. So, I decided to do something productive with it, and I invested it in a business, and now..."
"Now what?" I asked. I could feel the weight of his burden in his sigh. "It's okay, Cam, you can tell me whatever it is that's bothering you."
"I don't know, Alex, I'm not sure you're going to like what I have to tell you," he said as he looked down at the sleeping dog at his feet.
"You're going to have to take a chance," I said reaching out for his hand and squeezing it. He looked at me for a few moments before he began to speak again.
"My business is a security company. It's run by my best friend, Leo, and we've built it into a very profitable company over the past ten years," he said carefully. "Now we've been offered a contract that will send our profits through the roof and garner a lot of attention."
"Okay, so what's the problem with that?" I asked feeling a lump forming in the pit of my stomach, but wanting to hear him out.
"The condition of the new contract is that we have to publicly support our client," he said holding my gaze. There was a fierce intensity in his eyes and I knew that what he was going to say next was going to be the deal-breaker. "We're going to sign a contract to provide security to Richard Metzler during his campaign, and for that we're going to make an enormous amount of money and get a lot of publicity."
"And this affects me how?" I said pulling back a bit. I could feel the tension between us building as I looked at him. Everything in me said to get up and walk away from this situation.
"I...I wanted you to know that I've got a lot of money and that I'm going to be in the public eye after we sign the contract," he said hesitatingly. "I know how you feel about wealth, but I wasn't sure how..."
"I see," I said holding his gaze. My protective inner voice screamed, "Run!" but the voice of the woman who had already fallen for Cam begged me to stay. "I don't know, Cam."
"Okay," he shrugged as he let go of my hand and picked up his coffee cup.
I knew I was disappointing him, but I didn't know how I felt about this development. The guy who I'd thought was a working-class firefighter with a painful past had suddenly morphed into a rich guy who was about to become very well known. If I stuck with him, I was going to be subjected to the glare of the spotlight, too.
"Look, Alex, I know it's a lot to throw at you tonight, but I felt like I needed to tell you before Leo and I go public with it," he said squaring his shoulders as he waited for me to speak.
"I don't know, Cam," I said softly. "I just don't know if I can deal with this right now. There's a lot about my history that I don't want being publicly consumed, but I also don't want to throw out what we share."
He set his cup down and reached for me and without a word I melted into his arms. I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. I closed my eyes and tried to think clearly about this revelation.
"I'm scared, Cam," I whispered as I turned my head to look up at him.
"I am, too, Alex," he said softly as he bent down and kissed me.
I felt the familiar surge of desire flow through my body as I kissed him back, and all of my defense mechanisms crumbled as he slowly ran his hands down my body. Everything about this felt right, and yet I couldn't let go of the small nagging doubt that fluttered around the edge of my brain.
"Cam..."I gasped as I pulled back and looked into his emerald eyes. I wanted him, there was no doubt about that, but could I live with the reality of his life?
My phone cut through the heavy weight of expectation as it rang in my purse. I leapt off of the couch and ran to answer it.
"Alex, it's Leslie," the nurse said. "I think you need to get back her. Liz is having a rough time and she's calling for you."
"I'm on my way!" I cried as I looked at Cam and motioned to the truck. I hung up and said, "I have to get back to the hospital. Liz needs me."
"I'll take you," he said as he grabbed his coat and keys and headed to the garage with Tesla close at his heels. He turned and said, "Not this time, girl. I'll be back in a bit and we'll go for a run. Stay."
Tesla immediately backed up and sat on the kitchen floor looking up at Cam as if she completely understood what he'd asked of her. I marveled at the obedience as I slipped my coat on and headed out the door.
"Thank you, Tesla," I said as I passed the patient
pup and patted her on the head. She let out a soft woof and then lay down on the floor with her chin between her paws.
Cam drove as fast as he could without putting us in danger of getting pulled over as I looked out the windshield wondering if Liz was going to be okay.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Cam
I didn't say anything as I drove Alex to the hospital. I knew we were going to have to talk about what I'd told her, but I also knew that this was not the right time to broach the subject. Alex was worried about Liz and she needed to handle the situation before we could talk about our future.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" I asked as I looked over and saw a lone tear running down Alex's cheek. She reached up and quickly wiped it away as she nodded.
I parked the truck on a side street and took her hand as we walked to the hospital entrance. Alex asked for Liz's room number and then headed for the elevator.
"I'm scared, Cam," she whispered as we ascended to the sixth floor. "I don't know what to do to help her if she won't let me."
"I know," I said taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "We'll figure it out...together. But first, let's just see how Liz is doing and find out if she needs anything, okay?"
Alex gave me a look of gratitude before she stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. She held my hand as we walked down the hall to Liz's room, but dropped it just before we walked through the door. For a moment, I felt hurt, but when I saw Liz lying in the bed looking very small and pale, I understood Alex's impulse to protect her and hung back in the doorway.
"Liz? It's Alex, I'm here, sweetie," Alex said softly as she sat down on the edge of the bed and took Liz's hand.
"Alex?" Liz mumbled as she tried to open her eyes. "Alex? I don't feel so good."
"I know, sweetie," Alex said smoothing her hair as she held Liz's hand. "They're trying to figure out why, so you need to help them, okay? Tell them everything so they can fix you."
"I did," Liz said softly as she forced her eyes open and looked at Alex. Tears welled up as she spoke, "I told them everything. I don't know why I'm feeling so bad, Alex."
"Are you sure, Liz?" Alex asked as she leaned forward. "Are you sure you told them everything you can possibly think of?"
"I'm not doing drugs, if that's what you're asking," Liz said as she clung to Alex. "Everyone thinks I'm a drug addict, but I'm not. I swear I'm not."
"I believe you, Liz," Alex said looking away from her friend. I could tell by her expression that she wasn't entirely convinced that Liz was telling the truth, but that she didn't want to challenge her friend while she was struggling with such a serious problem. "We'll figure out a way to make it all better, okay?"
"You don't believe me," Liz said in a flat voice. "I can always tell when you don't believe what I'm telling you."
"Liz, look, I believe you," Alex said as she sat back. "I'm just really worried about you. I want you to get help."
"Fuck you, Alex," Liz said in the same flat tone. "You don't believe me. Get out."
"Liz, don't do this," Alex pleaded.
"I said, get out," Liz repeated as she pulled her hand away and looked out the window. I could hear the pain in her voice and I knew she wasn't kidding. She looked back at Alex and yelled, “GET OUT!"
Startled, Alex stood up and rushed out of the room without looking back. I thought about following her, but thought better of it when I looked back at Liz and saw her hunched over holding her head in her hands.
"Liz, are you okay?" I asked as I walked across the room and sat down in the chair next to her bed. "You know she just wants what's best for you."
"I know," Liz sobbed into her hands. "But I can't get anyone to believe me! I swear I'm not taking drugs, but I don't know what's wrong with me!"
"All right, let's say that I believe you -- because I do," I said looking at her tear stained face as she raised her head. "The question is what's going on? What's happening to you?"
"I don't know!" Liz cried as she ran her hand through her hair. "All I know is that I'm tired all the time, I'm tripping and falling down a lot, and I can't think clearly. I thought it was because I was stressed out and tired, but after last night I know it has to be something more than that, I just don't know what it is and the doctors can't figure it out."
"So, that would indicate that we need to approach this differently," I said as I thought out loud. "We need to look at this like a fire."
"What are you talking about?" Liz asked as she wiped her face and looked around for her water glass. I grabbed it off of the nightstand next to her bed and handed it to her. She reached out to take it, but it slid through her fingers and spilled down the side of the bed pooling on the floor as she yelled, "Dammit! This is what I'm talking about!"
"Hang on, Liz," I said as I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and mopped up the water. "I know it's frustrating, but let's go through what's happened and see if we can't pick out some common details."
"Screw that!" she shouted. "I'm tired of questions I can't answer and accusations that are going to cost me and my best friend our educations!"
"What are you talking about?" I asked genuinely confused by her outburst.
"Didn't Alex tell you?" she said. "Victoria Metzler and her gang of mean girls has accused Alex and I of cheating on our practice exams and the school has ordered an investigation."
"Yeah, so?" I replied not following.
"When they do an investigation, they also put a hold on any scholarship or loan money until they figure out what happened," she said wryly. "They don't like throwing good money at bad students."
"So you've been accused and they've withheld your money?" I asked.
"Exactly, only the problem is that if we don't pay our tuition on time we get dropped from our classes and can't be reinstated until the next term, which is after graduation," she said. "We're set to graduate at the end of this term so that means we have to wait until next fall!"
"But if you didn't cheat, they should be able to clear you immediately, right?" I said trying to understand what the problem was.
"We didn't cheat, but Violet hates us and she has pull with the department head and the nursing internship supervisor, who both have to be character witnesses for the investigation," she said hitting the bed with the palm of her hand to underscore the problem. "Neither one of us cheated, but we have no way of proving that beyond a shadow of a doubt, and the program doesn't want to lose the donation that Violet's dad made to the school. She wants us out, she gets what she wants."
"That's a shitty thing to do," I said shaking my head.
"Yeah, well, have you met Violet Metzler?" she asked sarcastically. "She's shitty human being."
"Indeed," I said thinking about how this shed new light on my contract with Richard Metzler and suddenly understanding Alex's hesitation when I told her about it. "So, what if we find a work around?"
"How in the hell are we going to find a work around for this?" Liz asked with an exasperated sigh. "It's not like Alex and I are millionaires who can finance our own educations. If that were the case, neither one of us would be worked up about this, you know?"
"No, but I think I have an idea," I said rubbing my chin as I wondered how I was going to make it all work without Alex finding out.
"What are you going to do? Pay the bills, Mr. Big Shot?" Liz shot back as she rolled her eyes.
"In fact, I am," I said still thinking about how all of this was either going to work spectacularly well or blow up in my face. "Don't tell Alex, though, okay?"
"Dude, I'm not saying a word," she said shaking her head. "But if she finds out, you're going to be answering to her in a way that...well, just don't let her find out."
"Look, I'll front the money and when the scholarships come in, you can pay me back," I said as I pulled out my phone and started transferring money to the account I used for personal business. "Is there anything else that needs to be paid besides tuition?"
"Alex's rent," Liz said. "Don't tell her I told you, bu
t her landlord is a stickler, and one late rent payment means she'll be served an eviction notice. It was part of her lease agreement because Mr. Deaver had had too many college students flaking out on rent. But like I said, do not tell her I told you. She'd kill me."
"I'm not saying a word," I agreed. "Don't you, either."
"Scout's honor," Liz said holding up three fingers and giving me a solemn nod. "Or however that goes."
"Quick, give me the numbers," I said as I dug in the nightstand and found a pen and a pad of paper. Liz quickly scribbled the numbers on the sheet and gave me Alex's landlord's address before handing the paper over.
"I hope you know what you're doing, dude," she said with a lopsided grin. "You have no idea how mad Alex will be if she finds out."
"Finds out what?" Alex asked as she walked into the room with a tray full of food and drinks.
"Finds out I've been mainlining heroin here in this very room," Liz quickly shot back.
"Don't be smart with me, Banks," Alex said. There was an edge in her voice that hadn't been there before she'd left the room, and I wondered what she'd done besides get snacks while she was gone.
"I'm not being smart," Liz said as she took a slice of apple from Alex and bit into it. Quietly, she said, "I'm sorry, Alex."
"It's okay, sweetie," Alex said sitting on the edge of the bed. "I know you're stressed out. I'm just worried about you, and I can't figure out how to help."
"I know," Liz said as she leaned over and gave Alex a hug. Her voice dropped to sad whisper, "I really don't know what's wrong with me, Alex."
"I know, Liz," Alex said patting her best friend's back. "But we're going to find out. Don't you worry, Liz. We will."
#
At Alex's insistence, I left her at the hospital with Liz while I went home to check on Tesla. I knew couldn't pay the tuition bill until the university offices opened back up on Monday morning, but I could find Alex's landlord and take care of that, so the next morning I drove over and paid her rent through the end of the term.
"Who are you?" the landlord asked suspiciously. "Does Miss Pierce know you're doing this?"