by Claire Adams
"Tell me exactly how you think you're going to do that, Leah," Patrick prompted. "How are you going to pay for the repairs and take care of Mama? She needs help, Leah. She's an alcoholic, and she's become a danger to herself and those around her. What if Riley had been home? Have you thought about that, Leah?"
"Of course, I have!" I shouted into the phone. "If Riley had been home, she would have stopped the fire."
"Do you hear yourself, Leah?" Patrick asked gently. "You're expecting a twelve-year-old to take care of her alcoholic grandmother. It's not reasonable. Or healthy."
"What else do you want me to do?" I asked as the tears began to flow down my cheeks. "I'm doing the best I can, Patrick. I'm trying to hold it all together. I can't do this anymore. For God's sake, I'm twenty-eight-years-old, and I'm parenting a twelve-year-old, motherless child while I care for our mother and work a full-time job! I never asked for any of this! When do I get to have a life, Patrick? When does my life not involve cleaning up everyone else's mess?"
"Sell the house, Leah," Patrick said without further comment.
"Screw you, Patrick," I said before disconnecting. I put my head in my hands and sobbed silently as I absorbed the fact that I was truly alone in the world. If we didn't have a house to return to, where were we going to go? I cried until I felt there were no more tears. I wiped my eyes, took a deep breath, and looked up to see Riley standing silently in the doorway watching me with wide eyes.
"Riley, I wanted …" I began. She shook her head sadly before turning and running down the hall away from me.
"Riley!" I shouted as I shot out from behind my desk to follow her. "Riley, come back, and let's talk about this!"
But she was gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Jack
"Mr. Yates, you've got a visitor," Norma said through the intercom. "Would you like me to send her in?"
"What the hell?" I muttered as I picked up the phone and dialed Norma's extension. "I don't remember scheduling a meeting this morning, Norma. What is this about? And since when did you start calling me Mr. Yates?"
"I believe this is a last-minute addition to your schedule, darlin'," Norma drawled more heavily than necessary to underscore her irritation with me. "You want me to send her in to chat with you?"
"Fine, send her in," I said in an exasperated tone as I threw up my hands and waited for my new priority to walk through the door. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Riley walked through. She looked at me from under her lashes and then turned and looked back at Norma who was standing guard, holding the door. Norma shot me a look that told me I'd be dead if I screwed this up, and only when I nodded that the message had been clearly received did she shut the door quietly.
"Riley, hey, c'mon in and have a seat," I said motioning to the chairs across from my desk. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"Do you have any soda?" she asked hopefully.
"I think I've got water and maybe some spoiled cream in this little fridge over here, but if you really want a soda, I can ask Norma to go get a couple for us," I offered.
"Nah, it's okay," she said as she dropped down into the chair closest to my desk and looked around. "This office is big, but it's really ugly."
"Yeah, it used to be my Pop's, and he didn't have very good taste, apparently," I said, shrugging. I watched her closely, trying to figure out how to proceed. "I've been trying to figure out what to do with it, but I didn't have any good ideas. What do you think?"
"Are you really asking me what I think, or are you doing that grown-up thing where you ask me just to have something to talk about?" she asked bluntly.
"No, actually, I really want to know your opinion," I said as I stood up and walked around the desk. I sat down across from her in the other chair and rested my elbows on my knees as I spoke. "I always have good ideas when it comes to stuff for other people, but when I have to decide for me, I never quite know what's right, you know?"
"Seems like a personal problem to me," she said picking at the hem of her shirt. I could tell she had something she wanted to say and that she was weighing the consequences of saying it by testing me.
"It probably is," I agreed. I decided that the path of least aggression was the best one to traverse with this child. So I waited.
It was an uncomfortable silence punctuated by Riley's fidgeting. I stayed as still as a statue and silently thanked my brother for teaching me the game despite the fact that I'd hated him intensely when he'd enforced the rules and then called me out when I broke them.
As I waited, my mind wandered. I wondered what was happening with Leah and why she wouldn't talk to me about it. Then my brain moved on to Sloan as I wondered what she had up her sleeve and tried to decide if my choice to cut off the sexual part of our relationship was a smart thing or if she'd...
"Do you miss your dad?" Riley asked cutting into my thoughts.
"That's an interesting question," I said as I rubbed a hand across my eyes and sat back in my chair. "Why do you ask?"
"I'm just curious," she shrugged before adding, "I don't know anyone who’s lost their parent, except you."
"Yeah, I guess you and I are kind of in that same boat, aren't we?" I nodded, wondering how I was supposed to handle this. I knew nothing about what had happened to her mother, and I didn't want to say the wrong thing and open up a can of worms.
"Do you miss him?" she repeated as she stared at me, waiting.
"Well, that's a difficult question to answer," I said as I thought about how to respond.
"You don't, do you?" she said. It wasn't an accusation, just an acknowledgement of the facts.
"No, actually, I don't," I admitted for the first time.
"Was he mean to you? Is that why you don't miss him?" she asked before looking away.
"Let's just say that my father was a difficult man," I said, carefully sidestepping the things I'd prefer not to discuss with a twelve-year-old.
"My mom was difficult, too," she said looking at me straight in the eye. "I love her, but she was very difficult. Sometimes it was hard to love her."
"Yeah, I know the feeling," I nodded, thinking that as long as Riley was leading the discussion, I was okay admitting things that matched her observations.
"Sometimes I miss her, but most of the time I'm really glad that Leah is in charge of me— and not my mom," she said. "I know that's a bad thing to say because you're supposed to love your parents, but my mom wasn't as good at taking care of me as Leah is."
"Yeah, that's a hard one," I nodded. "My Pop wasn't around a lot, but when he was, he could be really tough. So, mostly I'm glad that it was my mother who raised us."
"Is your mom nice?" she asked.
"She is," I said with a smile.
"That's good," Riley murmured as she went back to playing with the hem of her shirt. I could tell she was thinking hard about something, but again, I didn't want to interfere with her thoughts or prompt her to say something she wasn't ready to say. I had no idea how to talk to kids, so I stayed silent and slipped back into my own thoughts, waiting for Riley to tell me what was on her mind.
I wondered if it had something to do with what was going on with Leah. I opened my mouth to ask, but then closed it before the words came out. It was none of my business, and if Leah wanted me to know what was going on with her, she'd tell me herself.
"We don't have a place to live anymore," Riley blurted out. "Gram burned us out of our house yesterday because she was smoking, and when she drinks she forgets about her lit cigarettes."
"Wait, what?" I said stunned that she was telling me this, but more stunned that I had no idea that this had happened.
"We stayed with my uncle Patrick last night, but he lives in the church, so there's no room for us. Besides, Leah and Patrick don't get along," she confessed. The more she talked, the easier it seemed to flow, so I stayed silent and let her tell me as much as she wanted to. I would ask questions once she'd gotten the whole story out.
"Leah says that we
can stay in a hotel for a couple of nights, but I think she forgot to pay the insurance policy," Riley continued. "I heard her arguing with Uncle Patrick about selling the house, and she was crying because we don't have any place to live. She thinks it's her fault, but it isn't. It's Gram's fault for smoking and drinking."
I listened as the whole story came tumbling out of Riley's mouth. The grandmother who was an alcoholic, the uncle who was a priest, the missing mother, and all of it seemed to fall on Leah's shoulders. Riley talked about getting suspended, and as she did, she began to cry.
"Oh, now wait a minute," I said as I slid out of my chair and kneeled on the floor in front of her. I took her hand and said, "Why did you get in a fight with that girl in the first place?"
"She said mean things about my mom," Riley sniffed as she wiped the back of her free hand across her eyes. "She called my mom a whore and a junkie. I was sick of it."
"Sounds like just cause to me," I said. "Listen, when I was a kid, I was always getting in fights and getting suspended from school. My mother would scold me and tell me I had to do better— try and get along with people, but nobody ever asked me why I was fighting in the first place."
"Why did you fight?" she asked as she sniffed back a small sob.
"I didn't like it when the bullies picked on the little kids who couldn't fight back," I said quietly. "I knew what that felt like."
"So you fought the big kids so they wouldn't beat up the little ones?" she asked hopefully.
"Yeah, but I didn't do a very good job of it," I admitted. "I wasn't much of a fighter."
"Doesn't matter," she said squeezing my hand. "You didn't let them just pick on those kids. I bet those kids were really glad someone stood up for them."
"I don't know," I shrugged, trying not to remember the moments of sheer terror I felt as I trudged home from school carrying yet another suspension notice in my backpack and knowing that at some point that evening I'd have to face my father.
"I do," she said patting my shoulder. "Because a couple of times there have been bigger kids who've stood up and defended me, and it felt good to know that I had someone looking out for me."
"Thanks," I said, giving her a grateful smile before redirecting the conversation. "But what are you guys going to do?"
"Me and Leah? Aw, we'll be okay," she said waving a hand at me as if none of this was a big deal. "We always find a way to get by."
"Is that so?" I said with an amused grin. There was something about her casual confidence that made her incredibly endearing.
Just then, Norma knocked on the door and said that I had an urgent call from one of the suppliers. Riley nodded at me and got up to go with Norma. As she reached the door, she turned around and said, "Thanks for the talk, Jack. I feel better. I hope you do, too."
Before I could answer, she turned and quietly closed the door behind her. I walked over to the desk, determined to end the call as quickly as possible because I had an idea about how to solve a number of problems.
The question was whether Leah would accept my solutions.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Leah
Late in the day, after I'd resolved the issues between the warehouse workers and the construction crew, and ironed out a number of issues with large orders that Sloan had generated, I got a call from Norma asking me to come up to Jack's office.
My stomach flipped over as I tried to anticipate what he might want. I couldn't help but recall the way that we'd almost kissed, and then my face burned with shame remembering how Jack had pulled away when Sloan had caught us. I told myself that what he wanted was nothing more than a professional run down of the warehouse, and as the manager, I was obligated to give him the figures. I gathered my reports and headed up to his office with a sinking feeling in my gut.
"Well, now aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" Norma exclaimed as I walked through the door. She studied me for a moment and then said, "What's eating at you, darlin? You look like you been rode hard and put up wet."
"Thanks, Norma," I said with a grimace. "You know how to make a girl feel good."
"Aw, honey, now don't go gettin' your knickers in a knot," Norma said with a smile as she pushed her jar of hard candy towards me. "Here, have a sweet treat, and tell me what's going on."
"I don't want to talk about it," I said as I reached in and grabbed a butterscotch disc.
"Sure you do," she said as she followed suit. "Unburdening yourself always feels good. Besides, maybe there's something I can do to help. You never know."
"My mother burned us out of our house yesterday, and we have no place to stay," I blurted out.
"Oh my God, darlin!" Norma exclaimed as she shot up out of her chair and hurried around the desk. She put her arms around me and pulled me into a warm hug as the tears began to flow. She rubbed my back as she murmured, "Darlin', that's just terrible. All right, it's all going to be all right."
"I'm tired, Norma. I'm just so tired," I cried as she held me and patted my head.
"I know, darlin'," she said. "But the bigger issue is what are we going to do with you tonight? I'd invite you to stay with me, but I'm living with my daughter and her family while my apartment is being fumigated. And they've got three kids stuffed into that little place."
"I was thinking we could sleep in my office tonight, and I'd figure out something tomorrow," I said. "I can't go back to the rectory with my brother, but I've got Riley to think about. I can't have her sleeping on the floor in my office!"
"Nonsense, little girls like Riley are resilient, and they can adapt much better than adults," she said. "But you're right. You can't sleep in your office."
Norma rocked me back and forth as she talked out loud about the possibilities. When I'd calmed down enough to wipe away the tears and take a deep breath, she told me her plan.
"While you're in there meetin' with Jack, I'm going to call around and see if I can find you a place for a couple of nights," she said. "I'll charge it to the company account, and you can pay it back before the accounts get reconciled next month. I'll make sure it's somewhere safe, but affordable."
"Thank you, Norma," I said as Jack buzzed her on the intercom and told her to send me in. I inhaled deeply to steel myself and opened his door.
"Leah, come in and have a seat," Jack said, pointing to the chair across from him. "I want to talk to you about something."
"I've got the warehouse reports right here," I said, holding up the stack of papers I'd printed out. "I can tell you where we need to improve and where all of our resources are lacking. I think we need to..."
"Riley tells me that you're in need of a good meal," he interrupted.
"I ... what?" I said, stunned by the frankness of his statement and by the fact that he knew what was going on in my life.
"She said it's a bummer that she's been suspended and that you've been working late," he continued. "She said she'd love to have a good home cooked meal sometime."
"Jack, I—when did you talk with Riley?" I asked, thinking about how I was going to scold her for talking about our personal business with my boss.
"She came up here to talk with me about some things, and the subject came up," he shrugged. "It's not my place to tell you everything. I do think that the fact that you are my warehouse manager and you are in need of a good meal is something I need to address. I'd be a terrible boss if I didn't, wouldn't I?"
"Well, I wouldn't expect you to," I said as I looked at him carefully. He was smiling rather like the cat that ate the canary. "But it's nice of you to be concerned about us."
"Alright, my solution is that you and Riley will come have dinner at my mother's house tonight after we're done with the final walk through of the warehouse," he said.
"I'm not sure how Riley will feel about this," I replied.
"What do you mean?"
"She's a good kid, but she's also a picky eater," I said, trying not to let the emotion seep into my voice. I thought about all of the dinners we'd had in that house. Mama, Molly, me
, Patrick, and then Riley when she came along. And I choked back a sob that was building in my throat. Forward movement was the only way I was going to make it through this.
"I see," Jack nodded. "Well, then you'll come have dinner at my mother's tonight."
"We can't do that, but thank you for the offer," I said shaking my head as I looked down at the stack of reports in my lap.
"Of course you can do it," he replied. "And you will do it. It's no problem for my mother, believe me. She loves having people to entertain, and I'm sure she'll roll out the red carpet and feed you like royalty!"
"I don't want to put her out," I protested.
"Oh, it's not like she'll be cooking or anything," he said smiling at me. "I'm sure she'll have her cook whip up a wonderful, kid-friendly meal that will have Riley wanting to live in the kitchen after eating it."
"Well, Riley is an easy target right now," I said, laughing. "She's hungry, and I don't have time to cook a proper meal for her. She's been surviving on pizza, which she loves, by the way."
"Then I'll have Jimmy pick us up around six," he said, grabbing the phone and making a call. He spoke quietly into the receiver as he swiveled his chair around so his back was facing me. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could tell that he was giving instructions.
"Jack, this is way too much," I said as he turned back around with a rather satisfied grin on his lips.
"Nonsense, my mother's excited about the prospect of organizing an informal dinner party," he said as he stood up and walked around the desk. He leaned on the edge of the desk and crossed his arms as he looked down at me. "Leah, it's just dinner. Please come and have dinner with my family."
My heart fluttered a little as I looked up at him and remembered what it felt like to be held in his arms. I looked away as the blush crept into my cheeks and wondered how I was going to live and work in such close proximity to the man who made my body ache with longing.
"Okay, I'll say yes, but it's because Riley needs a decent meal," I said looking back up at him once I'd gotten myself under control again. "Dinner is all it is. We won't overstay our welcome."