by Claire Adams
“We have devised a system,” Nick answered pleasantly. “Every time Stacey gives me a hard time about my video games, or I give her a hard time about her blogs, we have to put a dollar in an individual jar. At the end of each year, we are going to count both jars, and whoever has less gets to pick a present that the collected money will buy.”
“You guys are so perfect,” I said, yet again amazed by their relationship. “How do you do it?” I asked and then laughed.
“Lots and lots of dollars in the jar,” Stacey sighed and we all laughed.
Would I ever have what they had… with Zayden? Was he even capable of this kind of comfortable affection? Everything was grand in his life, everything was upscale and elaborate– fancy cars, expensive restaurants, personal chefs. Did he ever just have a day to pursue the little things in life, in a non-calculated manner? I knew the answers to all these questions, which gave me one more reason to keep my cool when I met him later today. We were never going to be right for each other like Nick and Stacey were. And who was I even kidding? He didn’t want to be right for me now, did he? He just wanted me to obediently finish his contract so he could feed his ego; there was never any deception there, never a grey-area about his motives. He wasn’t exactly asking me – nor had he ever asked me– to be his girlfriend— just his subordinate who did his bidding and entertained him from time to time, who he could control, and tell her who she can or cannot talk to. As a fresh surge of anger started boiling deep inside of me, I tried to distract myself with the menu.
“What are you guys having?” I asked, forcing a smile.
I got bacon and eggs over-easy, Nick got two omelets, and Stacey, to both of our surprise, got a garden salad, making me suspect that there was more to why she was running. She was obviously hiding something from us. Stacey loved food more than anything and always mocked people on diets. Early morning runs to be “healthier” I could buy, but this, this was not the Stacey I knew. Wondering about what she was hiding momentarily took my mind completely off all my other worries. A glance at Nick told me he was thinking the same things, but we made eye contact and silently decided not to pick at her for the moment. Instead, I decided to bring up my own woes.
“So guys, I am finally seeing him today,” I said, looking at Nick because watching Stacey nibble at the carrots was bound to make me laugh.
“Womp womp,” Nick said. He was also not looking at her. “So this is it then? You are going to break it off?”
“I think so…” I thought of what I wanted to communicate to them exactly, but then realized I didn’t know. They had yet to hear about my phone conversation with Zayden. “He called me the other night. And apologized for being so controlling.”
“He did?” Stacey sounded genuinely surprised. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t think he could mean much else by the words ‘I’m sorry’,” I said, snappier than intended.
“No, I mean like, did he say he was apologizing for being controlling? Not just like a general ‘I’m sorry we’ve been having a fight and I want you to come back, so I’m backing down kind of a thing?”
Hmm. What had he apologized for exactly? I couldn’t be entirely sure. But I did remember he said… “He said he would not do it anymore.”
“Very interesting,” Stacey said, clearly weighing the implications of that rapidly in her head. “So you’re still going to break it off?”
“I think so… I mean… that is why I brought it up. What do you guys think?”
Nick got suddenly very preoccupied with his omelet, which was fine. I was used to him making humorous quips, but he was never one to volunteer serious advice, probably for good reason.
Stacey on the other hand was always full of perfect advice, so I was curious to see what she had to say – considering she was the one who had put the idea of breaking it off in my head to begin with.
“There is a good chance he is going to hurt you,” she said matter-of-factly. “He has already done it once. That said, I am not going to tell you what the right thing to do is here. I have an opinion based on very little second-hand information. I don’t know him like you know him. I don’t know what was between the two of you like you do. The only person who can realistically decide what the right thing to do here is you.”
“No, Stace! Come on, don’t choose now to be politically correct. You think I should stick to ending it don’t you?”
“I did before and I told you as much. But if he is willing to change, it’s a completely different matter. That’s what I am trying to say – there is no way for me to rightly assess if he is, in fact, going to change. You’re a much better judge of that, which is why I know whatever you decide will be the right call.”
That gave me a whole lot to think about, so for the rest of breakfast I remained almost completely quiet, thinking about what I was going to do when I got to work later that day. The fact that I was even considering all this so seriously and having second thoughts was ridiculous.
I would just have to deal with it when I saw him – perhaps I would make the right decision when faced with him in person. Right now my judgment was too clouded by the fact that I missed him, which I hated myself for.
Quickly finishing the rest of my eggs, I got up to leave. “I’ll be late for work, got to run. Thanks so much, you guys. For everything.”
“Of course. Good luck today. You’ll do the right thing, Aria,” Stacey told me and smiled. “Just don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“Have a good one, Aria!” Nick waved.
I was made up entirely of nerves by the time I left.
---
When I reached the bank, it was unusually quiet. Everyone was staring in the direction of Zayden’s office, making insincere attempts to conceal what they were doing. Mrs. Brian was gasping visibly. I put my things away in my desk, then looked up to see what the fuss was about. My heart stopped.
A beautiful blonde woman who looked like a supermodel was giggling happily at Zayden, who seemed to be slightly frustrated. It had to be a business partner. Or so I kept trying to convince myself. The woman looked older – closer to Zayden’s age, and it was a perfectly reasonable possibility that she was there for something work related. It couldn’t be anything else, could it? Ignoring the uncomfortable knot that had been forming in my chest ever since I saw the woman, I tried hard to focus on work. A good amount of data entry had piled up in the time I had been away from the office, a fact that Mrs. Brian wasted no time in reminding me.
“I’m on it,” I said, annoyed. Most of the time I could stand Mrs. Brian and her judgment and nosiness, but right now, in the midst of worrying about the woman in Zayden’s office and everything else that was going on, I had no patience for her whatsoever.
“That man has no shame,” she was muttering.
Why? Perhaps she knew who that woman was; otherwise she wouldn’t be making these comments. I was tempted to ask her if it was just a business meeting, but was not interested in the slew of questionable looks and comments that were sure to follow. So instead I tried hard to concentrate on typing as fast as I possibly could, occasionally allowing myself a quick glance, which I couldn’t help.
The woman finally got up to leave and to my utter shock and horror, kissed him romantically on the cheek. I couldn’t quite make out Zayden’s expression at first, but then he noticed I had been looking and his face got pale. That was it, I couldn’t take this anymore; I would so much rather deal with Mrs. Brian than let whatever was happening consume me.
“Who is that woman?” I asked, keeping my eyes firmly on my computer and trying to sound as casual as possible.
Mrs. Brian laughed and when I looked up at her face she looked completely thrilled to be the person to have this piece of information. She never passed on any excuse to gossip.
“Want to venture a guess?” she asked smugly.
“I don’t know. A business partner?” I said, trying not to sound too hopeful.
That made her laugh so hysterically, I
felt the Earth begin to shatter underneath me. “Oh dear, dear. You are so innocent. Even if that man were ever to do business with someone who looks like her, do you think it could possibly be just business?” she asked.
I shrugged, trying hard to stop the tears that were forming in my eyes. Why the hell was this making me emotional? I was going to stop the contract. Shit. I was actually falling for him. “Who then? Some woman he’s sleeping with?”
“Not just some woman. The woman.”
“What do you mean?” I was barely able to keep my voice level at this point. The woman. She couldn’t be–
“His wife, of course!”
“What?” I said, unable to keep the tone of horror from my voice. Fuck it. I didn’t even care if Mrs. Brian knew what was going on at this point. I just… I needed to find an empty room… and breathe… before I crumbled completely.
“Well, okay that’s not quite right. You could say ex-wife, I guess. But really, that’s just a technicality. They have been separated for a year now.”
That made me feel infinitesimally better. Ex-wife was much better than wife. But then what was she doing in his office kissing him? And the way Mrs. Brian had called her “the woman.” It didn’t add up at all.
“What is she doing here then?” I looked her straight in the eye, my disappointment turning into anger.
Her face lit up as though Christmas had come early. She had figured it out. Well, it was none of her business. “My, my, Aria. I warned you not to get into this, didn’t I? You young girls just don’t listen. You see a good looking, rich man and he just has to show an ounce of interest for you to run into his arms. You’re all the same. What were you expecting? He’s going to sweep you off your feet and marry you, then cover you in riches?”
“Keep the judgment to yourself, Mrs. Brian. It is none of your business what I do in my free time,” I snapped.
“Get angry with me all you like, dear. It doesn’t make a difference. All the girls before you, it’s the same exact story. They go after him against my best advice, and then fall for him. They all think it will be different with them, no matter his reputation, because they are all special little snowflakes. In the end, Gina always returns; she is always his first choice and always will be. Sure, they have been having some trouble over the years, but what couple doesn’t? And marriage is a very strong bond, as Zayden proves over and over again. They filed for divorce, but as far I as I know, the proceedings were never really finalized. My theory is that they don’t want it to be. Just look at them. They are a lovely couple. I would say they are made for each other,” she said beaming, surely enjoying tormenting me.
Unable to stop the tears any longer, I rushed out of the booth into the ladies room. I had never felt so completely betrayed. Somehow this felt worse than when I had walked into Rick cheating on me; that had crushed me, no doubt, but this made me feel like my whole body had left me, and all that was left was a pool of misery and hurt. After all, Rick hadn’t signed a piece of paper assuring me that he wouldn’t be sleeping with anybody else. No matter what Zayden was – controlling, arrogant, promiscuous – I had never gotten the idea that he was dishonest. Somehow I had managed to let myself trust him, and now I was really paying for it. My face was completely covered in tears, as I tried desperately to dab it with toilet paper. I had to go out there and do my job, but how could I when he was sitting right in front of me?
But if he had broken the contract, didn’t that mean I could… No, but there was no way for me to prove that he had been sleeping with his ex-wife. Whatever way I looked at this, I was trapped. Unable to be composed any longer, I ran into the bathroom stall and began sobbing more, holding my face in the palms of my hands. How had I let myself get into this? I had been so, so stupid.
I was such a strong woman until I met him. Now I felt powerless.
Even more idiotic was that I had trusted him with my body! It wasn’t in the contract, and against my own better judgment, I had decided to sleep with him. Because I trusted him. Despite all the reasons the world gave me not to, I trusted Zayden and believed that he wasn’t going to hurt me. I had caused this to myself and no one else was to blame. He must have had a good laugh. His grand master plan to sleep with me had worked – I had willingly ran into his arms and asked for it.
I pictured him snuggling with his ex-wife and laughing with her about how stupid girls were. They probably even made a whole game out of it. Both of them insanely attractive, both could easily have anybody they desired. That was probably how they even kept their marriage interesting; the divorce must have been some kind of charade that helped them in the games they played with vulnerable people.
I kept telling myself I could, and gathering all the courage I could muster I walked back to my desk.
Mrs. Brian was waiting there for me with a smirk. “Been crying, have we? Sleeping with the boss. Feeling rejected.”
God, she was a bitch.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I snapped. “So I would appreciate it if you could just let me get back to work. Thanks!”
“Work!” She laughed. “Do you do any work? Do you even have to? You’ve found other ways to please the boss-man after all.”
“Yes, I have,” I said, losing my temper with her. “And if you don’t stop with the taunting, I will use my influence to get you fired.”
That shut her up, but she looked ready to hit me. I didn’t care. She deserved it.
With even more reserve than before, I started typing out the documents in front of me, not looking at Zayden, not looking at Mrs. Brian, not letting myself think even for a second, just working as fast as I could. When the phone rang, it startled be back to reality and I jumped.
It was Zayden, and he was looking right at me.
Chapter 2
Zayden
It was obvious from the puffs underneath her eyes that Aria had been crying. She had definitely seen Gina in my office and jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It was Gina’s fault. I had told her not to show up at the office, and that’s precisely why she had come here snooping, hoping to get me to admit to seeing another woman. The way she had kissed my cheek was not for my benefit, but rather for the audience that was peeping through my glass door. She had guessed that the woman I was seeing was in this office – rightly so – and intentionally done that to create complications. What a fucking sly fox she was.
It had worked wonders. Aria looked like she had just been run down by a train – I had never quite seen her this way. She answered my call with what appeared to be extreme reluctance.
“Yes?” Her voice was wavering.
“I need you to come into my office,” I said softly, worried about causing any further damage.
“Uh, I have a lot of work to catch up on. I am sorry…. Mr. Sinclair,” she said the last words with a lot of emphasis. She was trying to undo the last few months, undo me.
“I don’t recall, Miss Roberts,” I said, returning her formality with the hopes of throwing her off. “Giving you a choice in the matter. And last time I checked, I was still your boss and I call the shots.”
She shut her eyes tightly. After what felt like hours, she finally said, “I’ll be there in a few seconds, boss.”
She seemed to take her sweet time, as I watched her finish up whatever she was typing, then remove and replace an insane amount of objects from her desk drawers. If she was trying to hide the fact that she was intentionally delaying our encounter, she made a poor attempt of it. Frustrated and eager to tell her my side of the story, I called again.
“Now,” I said and hung up, staring at her with the iciest gaze I could muster.
Finally, she began walking towards my office, leaving me wondering what exactly I was going to tell her. I could claim Gina was my coworker; she hadn’t exactly heard anything we had been talking about, and it wasn’t a completely ludicrous notion that I would be discussing business with an attractive female coworker at my office. At the same time, if I was considering Gi
na’s offer, Aria was bound to find out who she was sooner or later, and if I lied now, I would not only be accountable for being married, but also for lying to her about it.
When she was outside my door, she knocked. “May I come into your office, boss?” She put so much stress into that word, as though she was taking all the bitterness she felt towards me and our situation and expressing it through that single word.
“Just get in here, Aria,” I said, starting to lose my patience.
“Do I need to, like, curtsy or something, since you’re trying to make it clear that you’re the boss?”
“I am though,” I said helplessly. “I wasn’t trying to rub it in like that but–”
“You did. And that’s exactly what you were trying to do, which is okay. You’re right, you’re the boss and I do as you say if I want to keep my job. So what do you need, Mr. Sinclair?”
His face was turning red. My attitude must have been pissing him off.
“Zayden. We’ve been over this Aria. Let’s not go through this whole ordeal again,” I said and shook my head.
“Oh, so it isn’t just who I talk to that you control, but how as well? Duly noted, boss,” she snapped.
“Stop! Just fucking stop. We have a lot to discuss, Aria, and for the sake of both of us, let’s not make it more difficult than it has to be. Just take a seat will you,” I said, trying to sound a little more gentle.
She didn’t say a word and sat down across from me, her expression unreadable.
“You have been crying?” It wasn’t really a question.
“Hah,” she snorted. “Wouldn’t you like that? I suppose it helps your already inflated ego quite a lot, the thought of a girl crying over you.”
“What?” I was perplexed. “Don’t be ridiculous. You think I want you to cry? The last thing I want is for you to be miserable. You should know that by now. I would think it was pretty obvious.”
“Right. Between trying to tell me who I can or cannot talk to and romancing another woman in your office in broad daylight, it is so very obvious that the last thing you wish to do is hurt me. Don’t mind me, I am clearly just blind and stupid.” She was looking at her fingernails instead of making eye-contact. Her voice sounded solid and confident, yet there was an underlying tone of despair.