A Grave Inheritance

Home > Other > A Grave Inheritance > Page 18
A Grave Inheritance Page 18

by Kari Edgren


  I yanked my chin from his hand. “How dare you come in here and tell me what I must or mustn’t know. You’ve no right to presume any manner of my thoughts after acting like such a...a...” I stuttered to a halt, my mind a sudden blank.

  A faint smile touched Henry’s mouth. “A twit?” he offered hopefully.

  Hearing it from him, I realized just how inadequate my previous word choice had been. I glared at him, hoping the expression matched my mood. “A twit hardly describes your behavior these past two nights.”

  “Selah, please—”

  I jabbed a finger at him. “You stood by while that witch of a princess mocked me in front of everyone!” The memory of their laughter and leering faces stung like whiskey on my freshly lacerated pride. “I know exactly what you are, Henry Fitzalan. You’re nothing but a spineless popinjay!”

  His jaw clenched to a scowl. “I challenged every man to a duel after you left. And then told Amelia that our friendship was at an end if she ever spoke against you again.”

  Under normal circumstances, I would have given in right then and thrown my arms around his neck. But my anger ran deeper than I ever imagined, and once ignited, was not so easily extinguished. Instead, I met his scowl ounce for ounce. “Is that supposed to make up for my humiliation? Maybe next time you should stand up for me before I become the butt of every jest in the room. Believe it or not, Henry, there’s a difference between taking my side and defending your stupid honor.”

  He scrubbed a hand across his face. “Some credit would be nice,” he said. “I’ll likely be banned from court once the king hears how I insulted his daughter and courtiers. But that’s the least—”

  I gave a derisive snort. “Goodness me, to be cut off from an entire flock of simpering fools. Certainly, you’ll be able to bear it.” I paused for a moment. “Then again, considering your recent behavior, the separation might prove intolerable.”

  His eyes narrowed, deepening his scowl. “I didn’t come here to be insulted.”

  “Then why are you here? Did you think I would forget everything and come running back into your arms?” Gracious, I wanted to, but we had issues to settle first.

  Henry let out a slow breath, and I watched as he struggled against his temper. “I’m here for two reasons. First, to beg forgiveness for what happened tonight.” Though somewhat strained, he sounded sincere.

  “Fine,” I snapped. “Apology accepted. But you’re still a spineless popinjay.”

  A muscle leapt in his jaw. “No one has ever accused me of cowardice before.”

  Because no else dared. Every square inch of Henry defied the very term. I crossed my arms in a huff. “Well, I guess there’s a first for everything.”

  A simmering silence hung between us, so intense it felt like we had been separated by a tangible object. My heart pounded uncomfortably, ticking away the seconds that seemed to stretch on for hours as I waited for him to speak next.

  “What else would you have me say?” he asked at last.

  I gaped at him, surprised that he could be so obtuse. What else, indeed!

  A familiar voice wormed its way into my thoughts. Henry is no different than my father. Once your power proved inconvenient, he declared it to be unnatural. He will never understand you. I despised myself for listening, but try as I might, I could not quiet Julian’s suspicions.

  Angry tears pricked at my eyes. “Have you already forgotten our argument the night I healed the boy?”

  The harsh lines in Henry’s face softened to an expression of profound sadness. Startled by the change, my own anger deflated like a leaky bellows, and I suddenly felt very small.

  Taking his eyes from mine, he settled his gaze on the floor. “Of course not.”

  The voice spoke again, more menacing this time. How long will it take before he casts you off just as my father did to my mother?

  My mouth went dry and a small lump formed in the base of my throat. “And have you changed your mind about what you said?”

  Henry spread his hands in supplication. “We may never be able to reconcile our differences from that night—”

  A sob wrenched from my throat. Time stood still, and I stared at him, utterly motionless except for the blood pounding in my ears. Never reconcile. “No,” I whispered, “please, no.”

  “Will you not at least try to understand?”

  The blood pounded even louder, and I shook my head to make it stop.

  “Be reasonable, Selah! I’m a man for pity’s sake, not some statue carved of stone.”

  The walls of the room pressed in like a cage. Desperate to escape, I retreated a step, and bumped my calves into the armchair. Turning toward the door, I made to leave when a hand shot out and grabbed me by the waist.

  I jerked back. “Let go!”

  He held fast and pulled me to him before I managed another step. “Aren’t we past this yet, or do you plan to run away every time we have a disagreement?”

  “I’m not running away,” I cried. “I’m leaving!”

  “You’ll do neither until—”

  His remaining words came out in a grunt of pain as the toe of my shoe cracked into his shin. Feeling his hold slacken, I turned toward the door, when my feet flew up from floor. Before I realized what was happening, I found myself cradled in Henry’s arms, pressed hard to his chest.

  My breath came in rapid, shallow gasps. Wrestling my hands free, I beat against him. “Put me down! I won’t stay here!”

  Henry’s arms tightened around me. “Oh, yes you will. You’ll stay until I’m done speaking. Then you can decide whether or not to leave.”

  He might as well have been made of stone, and his arms iron manacles for all the chance I had of escaping. I stopped struggling and tried to gain my freedom another way. “Henry, please let me go,” I said, forcing each word past the painful lump in my throat. “I can’t stay here any longer.”

  “Why not?” he asked incredulously.

  “Because I can’t bear what you have to say.” I squirmed again, only to feel his arms grow tighter. “Let me go,” I sobbed. “Julian tried to warn me, but I refused to listen. I never believed you could do this to me.”

  “Do what?” Henry asked, his voice growing louder with exasperation.

  “Toss me aside the first time my gift proved inconvenient!”

  Henry inhaled a sharp breath. “Dear Lord, Selah. Is that what you thought I meant?” He sank into the armchair, holding me firmly on his lap. Moving one hand to my head, he pulled me close enough to press his mouth into my hair. “You’re shaking all over.”

  Small spasms radiated from deep inside me, spreading to every muscle until my body quaked from head to toe. Even my voice shook when I next spoke. “You said yourself that we could never reconcile our differences.”

  “And you took my words at their very worst without allowing me the chance to finish. What I meant is that I will never be able accept the thought of losing you.” He kept his mouth close while he spoke, warming my skin with his breath. “My every instinct is to protect you, yet one day I might be expected to stand by and let you die. The idea terrifies me beyond reason, and if that makes me a coward, then so be it. I love you too much to feel differently or to make peace with that part of your gift. In that alone, I meant we could never reconcile our differences. Nothing else.”

  His words should have calmed my raging emotions. Instead, they clamped like a fist around my already aching heart. Henry loved me—so much, in fact, that he would never be able to fully accept my gift. In an attempt to remove the trees from our path, Henry had exposed the rest of the forest. And the mountain on the other side. Clear as day, the future stared back, unblinking and devoid of hope.

  A fresh sob shook me. “You’re going to leave me.” Just like Julian’s father left his mother.

  Henry started in su
rprise, then pulled me closer as though fearing I would try to escape again. “Where did you get such a foolish notion?” He traced a kiss along my tear stained cheek. “I’d sooner cut out my own heart.”

  “Maybe not today, or even in a few years, but you’ll leave eventually, when my gift proves too great a burden.”

  “How can you say that?” His voice vibrated with pain and disbelief. “Do you think my feelings so insincere?”

  “No—”

  “Then what?”

  The truth danced before me, smirking in triumph. “You think I’m unnatural, and can’t accept what it means to be leath’dhia.” The words spilled out as new tears wet my cheeks.

  “I see,” he said softly. Then cupping my chin, he turned my face until our eyes met. “What if I swore upon my soul to never leave you? Would that quell these doubts?”

  “No,” I whispered, shaking my head despite his hold.

  Grief marred his beautiful face. “You are quick to condemn me. I pledge my innermost love, and you cry ‘inadequate.’ I swear to never leave, and you cry ‘impossible.’” His voice cracked with emotion. “Fear does not qualify as proof, Selah, nor does it give you any more power than me to foresee the future.”

  I drew breath to protest.

  “Tell me this,” he said, cutting me off. “What if one of the gentlemen had accepted my challenge to duel tonight? Would you be pleased with my decision?”

  I bristled from the suggestion. “Of course not. You promised not to participate in such a barbaric display of male bravado.”

  “Not so,” Henry said, his voice once again level. “I pledged not to duel without profound cause, and the insults you bore tonight were cause enough in my mind.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous! A few mean words could never justify your death.”

  The fire cracked, sending a shower of sparks into the air. I jumped slightly, but Henry held my gaze firm. “I respectfully disagree with your assessment of just cause,” he said.

  I clamped my cheeks tight to keep from screaming. Henry wanted to discuss dueling while our once-bright future burned out quicker than the fire. “What does it matter? So you have some bad habits. I’ve no doubt your stupid honor would survive if you didn’t insist on waving a sword at every offense. My duty as Brigid’s descendant is not negotiable. It cannot be ignored regardless of your love or my desire to live. Don’t you understand, Henry? You may think now that you can live with the uncertainty, but it will drive us apart when you can no longer accept that my duty must always come first.”

  “But what of dueling?” he persisted. “I’ve dueled in the past and may have cause to duel again in the future.”

  “That’s different. You just like to fight. I can’t change what I am.”

  “Any more than I can,” Henry countered. “Do not assume that my stupid honor is any less precious than your duty to heal. It is the very core of a gentleman and at times the only thing that separates men from savages. Like it or not, dueling, on rare occasion, is a part of keeping that honor intact. It is a part of me, and something you will never be able to change without jeopardizing the man I am.” He rubbed the pad of his thumb across my cheek. “And hopefully, the man you still love.”

  “You know I love you. That will never change.”

  “Can you be at peace with dueling?”

  “Heavens, no!”

  He raised a tawny brow. “Then by your own admission, you can love me without fully accepting every part of my character. Is that correct?”

  “I guess so, but Henry—”

  “But nothing, Selah! If you are capable of unconditional love, then I claim the same privilege—to love you deeply and indelibly regardless of duty.” His hand dropped from my chin, and I stared at him, confused.

  Henry sat motionless. Tension webbed his face, rippled just beneath the surface of his skin. While waiting for my reply, his body spoke a more visceral language. One hand gripped my waist while the other rested possessively on the flat of my stomach.

  Could Julian have been mistaken? Perhaps the tragedy between his parents was not indicative of all marriages between humans and goddess born. I knew without doubt that Henry loved me, regardless of our argument the other night. So why had I been so sure that Julian was right? Why had I decided to believe him over Henry tonight?

  A new truth began to edge its way forward. Is it possible?

  The breath turned thick in my throat. “I don’t know—”

  “Yes, you do!” His green eyes blazed fiercely. “In your innermost heart, you know that we will always be together. That we are incapable of living without the other.”

  The intensity of his stare burned through me, stripping my fears bare. I saw anew the man I loved, the man I had chosen to trust this past summer.

  “Believe me,” Henry said, as though reading my mind. “I will never leave you.”

  His deep voice flooded my senses, and I nodded before realizing what I had done.

  “Say it,” he demanded. “I will hear it from your own lips.”

  The words wobbled when I spoke. “You will never leave me.”

  Relief washed over his face. “Blasted woman!” he laughed softly, and then buried his head in my neck. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. You’re stuck with me for life, Selah Kilbrid, and for the next if we can somehow manage it.”

  I released a shuddering breath. “Oh, Henry, I’m so sorry. How could I have been such a fool?”

  “Good question.”

  “You were so angry at All Hallows, I didn’t know what to think. And then we argued again at the palace, and afterwards when I was in the garden with Jul—” I caught myself at the last second.

  Henry twined his fingers through a lock of curls that had fallen loose during our struggle. “What happened in the garden with Julian?”

  My heart skipped a beat. “Nothing...” I stammered, the one word hardly convincing even to my own ears.

  A slight pressure tugged on my scalp as Henry brought the curls to his lips. “Don’t tell me it’s nothing,” he murmured, “when his meddling clearly contributed to our misunderstanding tonight.”

  Damn my blabbering tongue! Stuck between lying to Henry and betraying Julian, one paltry excuse offered the slimmest hope of redemption. “I promised Julian not to tell.”

  Henry pulled his head back to stare at me. Anxious at what he might find, I buried my face into his shirtfront, preferring to play ostrich rather than risk his probing eyes. Perhaps, if I didn’t say anything more, he might be satisfied and let the matter go. The methodic beating of his heart pulsed in my cheek, and I wished yet again for the ability to read his thoughts.

  Henry sat very still, and I noticed that his breathing had matched my own. “I see,” he said at last. “Well, if you’re bound by such a promise, I will confront Lord Stroud myself in the morning.”

  I jerked my head up, receiving a painful tug of hair from the sudden movement. “You can’t do that!”

  The curl fell free, brushing against my cheek. “Do you really expect me to act otherwise?” He managed to look surprised, as though I had just told him to walk to China, rather than avoid a simple conversation. “Somehow Julian has managed to fill your head with poison, and I’ve every intention of learning just what he said. I can only imagine the fabrications he has created to shake your trust in me so markedly.”

  “Please, don’t,” I pleaded. “I wanted to tell you, but Julian forbade it. I promise never to doubt you again.”

  Henry released a long sigh. “I’m done with secrets, and after what happened tonight, I deserve the truth, one way or another.” He reached up to tuck the stray curl behind my ear. His hand lingered, and he traced a finger along the line of my cheek. “Selah, you may not see it this way, but keeping the truth from me is in essence a form of falsehood. And even our l
ove is not immune to lies.”

  His words brought me up short. “But...I...I thought...” My voice wavered to a halt.

  What did I think?

  Over the years, secrets and half-truths had become second nature, a necessary evil for someone like me to survive in the human world. This past summer, I had chosen to risk everything by revealing my ancestry to Henry. Certainly, Julian should have the same right to decide whom to trust with such an important confidence.

  A dark shadow crossed my thoughts. What if a secret becomes more than just a secret? What if it is used to conceal ulterior motives and manipulate another person?

  Julian must have known that by swearing me to secrecy about our kinship, I would be severely limited in relating our private conversations to Henry—the very conversations he used to plant seeds of doubt by filling my head with dreadful stories about his mother. To be sure, Julian had crossed the line of decorum and tried to turn my heart from Henry. But did these actions nullify any prior claims to my confidence?

  Looking back on our brief acquaintance, I now saw a precarious stack of secrets, all rising up from the simple request for anonymity. And who would be hurt the most when the stack came tumbling down, which it would inevitably do if tonight were any indication.

  Good heavens! A secret is a dangerous thing, indeed.

  Henry brushed my cheek with a kiss. “Will you trust me completely or only in parts?”

  Our future could not be based on parts. “Completely,” I said with newfound conviction. “You deserve the truth. I’ll tell you everything so long as you promise not to interrupt or chastise my judgment.”

  He nodded. “I promise. No interruptions.”

  With a long, steadying breath, I started by recounting my first meeting with Julian in its entirety. True to his word, Henry remained silent as I spoke, and I soon found myself telling him about Cate and the events of this evening, from the hound that had tried to kill me to the little wretch stalking the orphans.

 

‹ Prev