by Alexia Purdy
It was odd, like I was transported back to those days when I was with Lucas, rolling across the forest floor, making love under the stars. Blinking, I shoved another mouthful of food into my mouth to keep from answering, avoiding his glances.
He waited as I ate, eating his own food slowly. He was the epitome of calm and collected. The years had done much to mature his already steady nature. Solid. Like an ancient oak tree. I wondered if anything fluffed his feathers at all. We were opposites in so many ways. Whereas small things turned into catastrophes for me, he was a calm ocean in the eye of the storm.
I finally managed to speak. “No. I’m fine. I guess I never expected to see you again.” I peered up at my ex-boyfriend, taking him in with one long, scrutinizing look. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable either. You’ve really helped me out.”
“No problem at all. Let’s start over? Is that okay? I’m Lucas Lawler. And you, beautiful lady, are?”
I chuckled, feeling my apprehension lift like a black cloud dissipating. “Jennifer Heisen. Nice to meet you, Lucas. What do you do for living?”
“I’m a maintenance and car repair junkie who begs for treats such as food or money from people to fix their broken stuff. What about you?”
I laughed, almost spitting out the water I had just started sipping. “That’s a noble pursuit. I’m currently unemployed, but I did work for a lab, staring at my beautiful cubical wall while calling around and trying to fix their mistakes and solve problems for them. It was mighty enticing work. I also paint. I sell my art as prints through an agent. Now that’s my real job.”
He laughed, his eyes sparkling beneath the pendant light dangling above us. It felt easy, quaint even, to sit there eating with Lucas, like we were old friends catching up. What could be more natural? I was thrilled and petrified all at the same time.
“Sounds like a humbling position. I’m sure you enjoyed the phone interactions a lot. The painting though, that sounds amazing.”
“Some of the calls were interesting for sure. It’s quite impressive how well a man takes the news that he has to resubmit a sperm sample because the previous one came in too late in the day, and the lab closed before getting to it.”
“No way. You had to call men to tell them that? I bet they were not impressed.”
“Not one bit, but most were amicable about it.”
“No dull moments there.”
“It was definitely different.”
“And how’d you get into painting?”
“Well, I loved how paintings could transport me to other worlds in my head, and I wanted to do the same with my own stuff. It’s like a drug. I paint, and it goes any which direction it may. I’m just a conduit. It’s like I’m high, and whatever happens, I am not responsible for it.”
We chuckled once more but then fell into silence as we picked at the remnants of our dinner. A few moments passed as Lucas finished up and gathered his mess to toss it into the trash. He reached over and looked at me to ask if I was done. I nodded and handed off my plate and utensils to him. Watching him dump the trash and then proceed to grab the bag, tie it up and take it outside without my asking confused me.
He was everything I wanted, yet everything I feared.
Chapter Four
Lucas
I waved at Ms. Ansley as she sped by in her Camaro. Her new beau was sitting in the passenger side and threw me a gentleman’s nod, smiling behind his shades, his all-white haircut reminiscent of the Miami Vice days, along with his pastel pink collared shirt paired with a white sports jacket and slacks to match. The woman was a spinster, but she never had a lack of company. Her hair was all done up in silver and black curls paired with heavy makeup that looked decent, if you asked me, and a nice flowery summer dress. Ms. Ansley was working it for her mister without missing a beat. She had more dates than I did, and that was saying a lot. I wondered how she even met her guys. I’d have to ask her one day.
“Hey, Lucas!”
Speaking of trouble, I looked up from gathering my tools on the old weather-worn picnic table sitting in front of my trailer to find Faith pulling up in her deep green Dodge Charger. It was a newer vehicle, and I’d yet to touch it, for it hadn’t needed any maintenance. I knew how to work the newer computerized cars, but I preferred the older American muscle cars. The vehicles nowadays had no personality whatsoever, and most of the things had to be done with the proper diagnostic equipment.
Faith didn’t need any car help, so why was she coming around?
“Hello.” I tipped my cap toward her but continued to clean my tools. She stepped out of her car and proceeded to walk toward me in high heels that sank into the soft sand surrounding my trailer. I was near the beach, so the dirt was always kind of damp, loose, and sank wherever anyone stepped. I had to admit, it was amusing to watch her try to stay ahead of her sinking heels. She settled to walking on the balls of her feet.
“Okay, hear me out. What are you doing Saturday night?”
I scanned my thoughts but came up with nothing. “No plans that I know of... yet.” I cringed, already regretting telling her I had no plans. Bad mistake. I should’ve known better.
“It’s casual, but try not to dress down too much. You know, business casual, got it? Pick me up at seven. No, wait. You have that ancient truck that makes everything smell like diesel. I’ll meet you at the reception hall at seven. Don’t be late.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Where exactly are we going, and who’s getting married?”
She laughed, slapping a hand playfully on my flank. I fidgeted with the tool I was degreasing. Faith was not exactly my girlfriend, but she was the one I went to when the nights got cold and lonely. Now that Jen was back, I wasn’t sure what to think of either one of them, and Faith had been far from my thoughts after seeing Jen.
Faith chuckled, flipping back her thick mane of deep blonde curls. Her blue eyes twinkled in the afternoon sun as she smiled, a dimple deepening in her right cheek. She was a whole head shorter than me but feisty. It was what I liked about her; she made her own plans and could direct a mob of people with ease. I hated making plans and didn’t even know what I’d have for lunch on any given day. Usually, her takeovers suited me fine, but not now. Not anymore.
But she also reminded me of Jen in so many ways. I placed my tool on the edge of the picnic table. Faith frowned as she sat and scrutinized her dirty heels, wiping them off with disdain.
“Ow!” she leaned on the table, wincing in pain. It was then that I realized the darn wrench had slipped off the table and right onto her foot. Crap.
“Shoot! I didn’t mean to drop it on you. I’m so sorry!” I helped her sit down as she yanked off her shoe. Her second toe was already swelling and turning black and blue. I’d hit it right on the nail. “I’ll go grab some ice. Geez, I’m sorry.”
I ran into my trailer, grabbed a Ziploc and stuffed it with ice. I threw a small hand towel over it then sprinted back outside and handed her the bag. “Here.”
“Thanks. Just great! Now I won’t be able to dance on Saturday night.”
I shrugged. “Could be a good thing?”
She glared at me, her eyes strained with pain. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry, Faith. I promise I’ll dance with you. Even….” I peered down at her foot. “Even if you’re on crutches or sitting down. We could chair dance.”
“I was supposed to coordinate the bridesmaids’ dance for the bride! I’m maid of honor. How can I make it down the aisle now with a broken toe?”
I pressed my lips together. I’d ruined the wedding she was attending. This was just like something I’d do. I eyed her toe, frowning at the color. It could be broken, but there was no easy way to tell. One reason I wasn’t with Faith on an exclusive basis was because she was overbearing, and I tended to do everything wrong in her eyes. This was no exception.
“Maybe it’s just bruised. If not, I’ll help you walk down the aisle.”
She peered up at me, eyes
shiny with unshed tears. I tried to be sympathetic when she started like that, but it was just another way to manipulate me into making me do whatever she wanted.
“Really? Oh! Thank you, Lucas!” She hopped up, wincing but managing to hook her arms around my neck to give me a big kiss on my cheek. I stepped back from her weight as she squeezed, but I was holding her up. There was nowhere I could go.
“Lucas?”
I peered over Faith’s shoulder to find Jen standing in my driveway, a paper bag in her hand. I pushed away from Faith, letting her plop back down onto the bench.
“Jen? Hey… how are you?” I stepped away, avoiding Faith’s seething glare.
“Hey!” she grumbled as she scooted over toward her shoe and proceeded to attempt to put it on over her swollen toe.
“Is it a bad time? I—I could come back later or just… here.” She held out the bag she was carrying. “I thought I’d reciprocate for dinner yesterday.”
“Oh, wow, thank you. I’m starved.” I turned back toward Faith, realizing I had left her hanging. “Hey, Faith, sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’ll see you Saturday, okay?”
Turning back toward Jen, I gave her a “save me” look which brightened her somber look.
“Maybe we should head toward your place. You said you had more stuff that needed assembly, right?”
Jen nodded, confounded as she peeked at Faith, who was now hobbling toward her Dodge Charger cursing obscenities under her breath.
“Sure. Is she going to be okay?”
“Faith? Yeah, she’s a fireball. Let’s get out of her way.”
Jen nodded and fell into step with me as we made our way down the dirt path shortcut toward her cabin instead of the road. There was no way in hell I’d be on the road when Faith drove by. It was like a death wish being on the asphalt after I’d inadvertently smashed her toe and dismissed her. No hard feelings. She did the same thing to me often, and we both knew the deal, so why did I feel guilty?
Maybe because I didn’t want Jen to think I’d do the same thing to her. I never would. Not to her.
“Who was that?” Jen asked curiously, but I caught an undertone of animosity in her words. The slight jealously in her question perked me up.
“That’s Faith Rodgers. She’s the town diva.”
“You look cozy together. Girlfriend?”
I looked over at Jen, but she was staring at the path ahead, chewing on her lip. I loved the way she looked when her thoughts were running wild. Some things never changed.
“No. We’re not like that.”
“Oh? What are you then?”
“She—she’s just a distraction and vice versa. Trust me. Nothing serious.”
“Does she know that?”
I shrugged. “Yes. Of course she does. It goes both ways. Doesn’t mean it means anything.”
“I see.”
We walked in silence for the next few minutes toward her cabin. There, she paused on the steps and turned my way.
“Why did you change so much?” she asked.
I froze, swallowing to soothe my suddenly drying mouth. “Um… what do you mean?”
“When we grew up together here, you never looked at any other girls. Not one. I often wondered if you were gay or something. But then I realized that it was because you wanted to be with me all the time, like I did with you. Now I don’t even recognize you.”
“I’m still the same. In a way. We all change. No one stays the same. Not even you.”
“I guess.” She walked on quietly, chewing on her lip and staring at the path ahead.
I lifted an eyebrow. “You trying to say that you haven’t changed?”
“I didn’t say that.” Jennifer came to a stop, eyeing me as she began to fidget, her lips deep pink and slightly swollen. “I’m just making an observation.”
“Does that change things between us?”
She paused, contemplating my words as she studied my face. My skin heated beneath her stare, and I wanted to reach out and kiss away any argument she may have lingering behind those bright blue eyes.
“No. We’re practically strangers now, so it changes nothing, I guess.” She turned toward her cabin and sprinted up the steps. Swinging open the screen door, she fiddled with her keys as she fumbled with the lock. Finally, it clicked open, and she turned the knob, pausing to peer over her shoulder at me. “I’ll see you later, okay? Have a good night, Lucas.”
To my dismay, she shut the door behind her, and I eyed the old wooden slab between us. I wanted to reach out and knock on it, to demand things of her that I had no right to ask. She had her own secrets as I had mine, but I was an open book while she was locked tight like Fort Knox. If only she’d let me in, and I could show her that maybe yes, we both had changed, but nowhere did it say that it was a bad thing.
No, it could be a good thing. Either way, yes, we were strangers, but I wanted to know her more than anyone else in the world. Had she forgotten that we’d made a promise? She was supposed to my bride. It was three days short of her twenty-fifth birthday, and I had already turned the magical twenty-five. We had been predestined to meet again at this age a long time ago, just like I had unknowingly foretold years before. Why was it that I remembered and she appeared to have forgotten?
Or had she? Maybe she remembered more than she wanted to admit. Maybe there was something she wasn’t telling me and was holding it deep inside, so far down she couldn’t pry it loose if she wanted to. Or maybe she wanted to forget the past more than anything else.
Chapter Five
Jennifer
I stretched and stared out the window as I lay in bed, watching as the butter-yellow curtains swayed in the breeze. Sleeping at the resort was relaxing. The distant sounds of traffic, honking cars, and garbage trucks were long gone. Instead, I heard birds chirping outside my window and the rush of wind trailing through thick trees. The first night had taken an adjustment—it’d been too quiet. I’d been so used to the city and there I was, stuck at a country resort that was winding down for the winter season. The place grew quieter and quieter with each passing day as the tourists left and the leaves turned brown, falling into piles while the world mellowed.
I was a city girl, unaccustomed to the snail’s pace.
Inhaling a deep breath, my thoughts floated back to Lucas. It was always him in the back of my mind since I’d moved back. During the whole drive from California, Lucas had drifted through my thoughts, causing my anxiety to shoot through the roof, almost enough for me to nearly flip the truck around and return to the city. Darn it if he wasn’t in every second of my day, without fail. I wanted to talk to him, yet my fear was a paralyzing anchor stripping the oxygen from the air.
So I’d continued to Endings, South Carolina, too petrified to turn back and yet too scared to see what the future would bring. Both were full of uncertainties, laying out a murky road before me. I’d decided I’d make the best of it, especially since the property taxes were far cheaper in South Carolina than in California. There was no way I could live off my meager earnings back in Cali. At least in Endings, I’d have a lot more leeway to figure out what to do with myself. In the meantime, I had hoped I wouldn’t run into Lucas.
Yawning, I padded to the bathroom to get my day started. I was supposed to find a job, a task I found daunting. Luckily, in more ways than one, I was a control freak. I’d printed out my resume and had laid out my dress pants and blouse, which I’d had dry cleaned before moving. Now I had a good lead on a job at the local laboratory as a lab assistant. Instead of emailing my resume, I’d decided to go in personally and try to make a good first impression.
Whatever happened, I needed some income. The meager savings I had would dwindle fast even though I had no mortgage. Utilities and food were my only expenses. I didn’t even have a car anymore. I’d sold my Honda Civic in California so I didn’t have to hook up a trailer to the massive truck I’d had to drive.
Being unanchored was somewhat liberating but also scary as hell. I sigh
ed as I styled my hair and smoothed down my clothes. I looked professional and prayed there wouldn’t be some freak rainstorm to ruin my look before I made it to the main street in Endings. Having no car also meant I’d have to walk everywhere, risking showing up like a mudslinging woman wrestler. I sent another prayer for temperate weather as I walked outside and locked the door behind me. I might even apply in local Ma and Pa shops. Any income was better than no income whatsoever. One thing I had planned on was getting a job quickly. If I didn’t, I didn’t know what I’d do.
I’d look around town to see if anyone was hiring, but my first priority was the lab. It was small and had two people working it. Unfortunately, they had already filled the position but had neglected to update the online job posting. I left my info just in case and walked out disappointed. I’d been counting on sliding back into something familiar and safe. Now, who knew what would tumble across my path? Next stop was the local diner. I had no waitressing experience, but the “help wanted” sign in the window lured me in. I smiled and faked my way through the interview. Next was the local bookstore. It was barely bigger than my cabin but held books stacked to the ceiling beams, and I knew I’d die to work there, being such an avid reader. Just lingering and getting interviewed while the occasional customer sifted through the stacks was distracting. I hoped I answered the questions well enough to land the position. Or maybe it’d be a bad thing if I ended up spending my whole check on books. It’d be hard to resist.
After another exhausting interview for a receptionist position at the local dentist’s office, I was burnt out for the day, and my brain was mush. I couldn’t believe how draining looking for a job could be. Sliding into a booth at yet another café—there were lots in this small town because of the tourists—I thanked the waitress as she slipped a menu in front of me and took my order for a coffee. It was chilly enough to warrant a hot drink, but I ordered an iced water too, for when I got too warm from sipping the hot beverage.