by Dizzy Hooper
I look to my father again, and remorse is written on every inch of him. He waits a few seconds, trembling with unshed tears.
When he speaks again, his voice is all but a whisper. "She turned me against you because she wanted this land. She told me she loved me to get it. She mated me…"
I want to interrupt him again, to cut off his monologue and spare him this pain, but Colt is right. He needs to get it out.
Wincing, I sit up, Stella still in my arms. I reach out with one hand to touch my father's shoulder. He shivers and shakes his head. Twin tears form beneath his eyes.
"I thought it was real. But it wasn't—was it?"
Who am I to say? But I squeeze his shoulder all the same. "No. I don't think it was."
"When she threatened your children, when those rotten nephews of hers attacked you—I couldn't. You have to know that, Jessie. I couldn't let her."
"So you didn't."
I'll never forget that. The fire that was in his eyes, the ferocity. He lifted his own mate off of me and threw her and her kin out of his house.
"I'm so sorry," he says, shaking. "I don't know how you can ever forgive me…"
Me, neither. But I want to.
I laugh, the sound choked with tears. "You drove her off for me."
For a shifter to choose anyone over his mate is the ultimate sacrifice. That he overcame her brainwashing speaks volumes.
His mouth straightens into a line, his shoulders squaring. "She'll never set foot in this land again. I swear to you."
Relief crashes over me like a wave. Just like that, I know he's going to make it. Losing my mother just about killed him, and the strain of a second broken mate bond would be enough to destroy even the strongest male. But he's determined. He's going to survive cutting that wretched woman out of his heart.
Hell, for all I know, now that he's out of her clutches, he might even thrive.
"I believe you," I say.
It's as close as I can come today to saying I forgive you. But the groundwork is laid. In my heart of hearts, I'm ready to forgive, to move on. Pretty soon, I'll probably be able to say it, too.
I'm just so grateful to have my father back.
Overwhelmed by the emotions of the day, I sit there beside him for a while. My mates slowly let down their guard. Landen even goes so far as to pass Stella off to Colt so he can go get cleaned up.
As everyone begins to relax, my father gazes upon my children with longing in his eyes. I watch him watching them for a moment. His fingers twitch, but he keeps pulling them back to his sides.
"Do you want to hold one of them?"
My father whips his head up. "Could I?"
I glance to Grady and Colt, but neither of them raises an objection. Stella has long ago passed out in my arms. I've only known her for less than a day, but I'm pretty sure it would take a freight train coming through to rouse her.
"Here."
I pass her over gently, reminding my dad to support her head. He's so careful with the little pup, so achingly gentle, and I can see why these innocent, perfect creatures were the thing to pull him out of his stupor. Who could possibly so much as look at them and not want to protect them?
Besides Katarina, that is.
I refuse to waste another thought on that witch, though.
My father cradles my infant daughter in his arms, quietly cooing at her. I watch, half afraid I'm going to wake up and find out that it's all been a dream.
Nine months ago, I was homeless and desperate and alone.
Now here I am. A mother, with three incredible mates and three perfect little pups. I'm surrounded by family in my ancestral home. My father is returned to me, free from his evil mate's clutches. He's the dad I remembered; the grandfather to my children I'd always hoped he might be.
Can life possibly get any better than this?
I allow myself a silent, secret smile.
I can only think of one way…
Chapter 16
The peaceful moment doesn't last forever. Soon, Stella wakes up, and the cycle of keeping tiny shifter babies alive begins anew.
Just like that, the whole world seems to shift back into high gear again. Without Katarina's presence looming over us, we're free to go about our business. As we change cloth diapers and rotate the pups through feedings, we put together a list of supplies we'll need to get us through until we return home.
My father stops, turning to face me, his expression carefully guarded. "And when do you think that will be?"
I glance between my mates. "I don't know…"
"Not too long," Grady says.
"But you might…stay? For a couple of days? Just until you get your feet under you?"
The naked hope in my father's face in heartbreaking, and all over again, I want to throttle Katarina for what she did to him. For the time she stole from us.
I look to Grady again. "I mean…we kind of have a lot to do before we'll be ready for a road trip."
Just the idea is exhausting.
He's reserved but he nods. "A couple of days."
My father smiles. "Good."
Internally, I smile, too. A couple of days is perfectly in keeping with the plan I had been hatching in the back of my mind…
I don't have a chance to bring up until later, though. Colt and Landen head into town to pick up some of the things we need. Grady floats around, taking care of me and of the babies. My father hardly moves from my side.
But it's Claire and Nikki I want to talk to.
I finally get a chance when the guys return with a pizza dinner.
"So…" I say to Claire.
She raises her brows at me. Her mouth opens, but then closes it again. I frown. She looks like she has something on her mind, but for now she keeps it to herself. "Yeah?"
I hesitate. Maybe I should dig a little.
Later, though. For now, I need to ask her this. "Earlier, before the midwife left. She said I should try to shift soon."
"Oh, jeez. Yeah. You still haven't?"
"When would I have?" I gesture vaguely at our surroundings, as if to encompass all of the overwhelming events of the last twenty-four hours.
"Fair," she says.
"But now that Katarina is gone, I feel safe to. Only…"
It takes her a second to catch up. "Oh. You want—"
"My mates," I supply, overeager.
They've been here for me through every moment of this ordeal. They've supported me in my wish to face my father. They fought off Katarina and her mutts. Each time one of our babies has cried, they've been there.
And yet I'm desperate to reconnect with them. Not just as a mother to the fathers of her pups but as a female with her mates. It's natural. Instinct.
But with triplets, it's a logistical nightmare.
Claire smirks. "Nikki and I will watch them."
I want to pounce on her offer and scream 'no take-backs' and go.
But I temper myself. "Are you sure?"
She chuckles. "Absolutely." But then she gets that shy, questioning look in her eyes again. "Actually, I was thinking…"
"Yes?"
She looks at her plate and plays with her fingers. "How would you feel about some in-house babysitting when you go home?"
"We'd love for you to come visit." Just the idea of having some help makes my hopes soar.
She shakes her head. Finally, she meets my gaze. "I meant—permanently."
I draw back, confused. "You would leave—"
"You don't know what it was like here while she was running this place. Her nephews, they were awful. I never felt safe. Never."
There's something more beneath her tone. Something darker.
Rage builds inside me. "If one of those assholes so much as touched you—"
"No, no." She looks around nervously and lowers her voice. "Nothing that bad."
But something tells me I'm not that far from the truth.
"Claire…"
"I just want to get away, okay? Leave all of this behind.
Start new."
"But your degree…"
"My credits will transfer. And I'll get a job. I'm not trying to freeload or anything."
I shake my head. "That's not what I'm worried about."
"Then you'd let me come with you?"
I pause, looking around.
This is her home, the same way that it used to be mine.
But she's not the same woman she used to be. She's stiffer, more reserved. Her eyes are haunted.
And I know exactly how bad Katarina and her goons could be. Could I stay here, in this house where she tried to steal my children from me?
Can I blame Claire for wanting to get out?
Is she doing this for the right reasons?
I stop myself before I can go too far down that road. I'm not her keeper. Her reasons are her own.
Smiling, I grab her hand and squeeze it. "I'll talk to my mates. But I can't imagine they'd refuse you."
"Thank you," she says, fervent.
Then it occurs to me… "What about Nikki?"
Immediately, Claire shakes her head. "No. No way." She looks over at her sister fondly. "Nothing could drag her away."
"Not even wanting to follow you?"
"Nikki's never been much of a follower," she says, slow and careful. "She'll be fine. Sad but fine. I told her I wanted to go. She gave me her blessing."
"If you're both sure…"
"We are." It's firm. Certain. She blinks, and in a flash, the seriousness bleeds from her voice. She shoots me a soft smile. "So, yes. If you're willing to have me. I want to go."
"Okay then."
She looks past me toward the loose circle of my mates gathered at the other end of the room. I follow her gaze. Each of them has a sleeping infant in his arms, and my heart swells to the point where it barely fits inside my chest.
As if he can feel me staring, Grady looks up. Our gazes lock, and forget about my heart.
The rest of my body comes alive from the love in his eyes.
The low-simmering heat that suffuses it.
Colt and Landen pick up on the sudden electricity filling the space between us. Their conversation dies away as they notice Grady staring and turn their heads my way. Can they smell the warmth in my blood? Can they see the desire in my eyes?
Landen licks his lips, and Colt shifts his weight.
I'll take that as a yes.
And so will Claire, apparently. Beside me, she laughs, then moves to stand.
"Go," she tells me. "Shift. Heal. Run with your mates."
A shiver hums through me.
Yeah. I have a lot more I want to do with them besides run…
Chapter 17
It takes me an hour to actually get going, of course.
Even though I know I'm leaving my pups in capable, loving hands, walking away from them tears at me deep inside. Finally, Claire and Nikki basically shoo me out the door. Grady takes me by the arm, leading me out toward the woods. My gaze trails back behind me. It's like a piece of my heart ripping out of my chest.
Then Colt steps in front of my path. He cups my face in his hands. "Those babies need a happy, healthy mother, Jess."
"I know…"
I've been looking forward to this moment ever since the idea of going for a run with my mates occurred to me. And yet now, it feels impossible to let go.
Landen slings an arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. "Your cousins have this under control."
"I know…"
"Come on," Grady says. "You need this. We need this."
His imploring tone tugs at my heart. I look from one of them to the next.
They're the most loving, doting, attentive fathers in the world. They wouldn't dream of leaving our pups behind if they weren't completely confident that they would be safe.
And they're right. I need to shift so I can heal the wounds of giving birth. I need to run with them and let my wolf possess me. I need that connection to the wild creature inside.
We need that connection to each other, as mates.
With one last, lingering look back, I allow them to lead me away.
As soon as we hit the cool evening air, it gets easier. The scent of the earth fills my lungs, and a sense of rightness does, too.
How I missed this land, these woods. I used to run through the wilderness at the edge of my family's compound for hours—days, even.
When I went into my season, achy and desperate to be bred and fucked, I would come here to hide. For sanctuary.
My wolf and I would lie beneath the big old tree by the cabin toward the rear of the property, sweating with pure sexual need, untouched and alone.
I tremble, my womb shuddering painfully as my body remembers what it is to want to be bred like that.
My mates hold me up when my knees threaten to buckle.
Together, we make it to the tree line.
We have no shame in front of each other. We never have. As soon as we're out of view of the house, we begin stripping off our clothes. My skin tingles with every inch of it I expose.
The thready line of desire picks up strength as my mates bare themselves to me.
God—it was only last night that I had them inside me. Grady rubbed my swollen belly as he guided me to ride him. I was fat and pregnant and scared and in love and now I'm…
Well, still in love.
My womb twists, reminding me of the damage my body still needs to repair.
Focusing, I finish disrobing. I turn away then, looking inward.
It's been months since I gave my wolf free reign. She's eager and ready, tired of being caged up. Yet it still takes a moment to summon her to the surface.
And then it happens all at once.
I scream as my bones twist and break. Deep in my abdomen and in that cracked-open place between my legs, flesh and muscle rearrange. The dull ache and sharp pains left over from giving birth disappear. Fur bursts through my skin, my hands and feet morphing, my snout extending.
The scream cuts off.
My wolf lands on her feet, joyful and triumphant. We raise our muzzle to the sky and howl, loud enough to shake the earth.
And our mates are there. Grady's enormous silver wolf explodes into the air and tackles me. We go down to the ground, baring our throat, and the scrape of teeth there send thrills of desire and happiness and pack coursing through us.
Colt's big black wolf and Landen's loping blond one circle around us. Our alpha rises, giving them room to nose their way in. Landen licks at our muzzle, while Colt rubs himself all against our side, and it's like a homecoming. My wolf keens with delight.
These past few months, I've been bound to my human form. My wolf is fiercely protective of our pups. She would never do anything to endanger them. She's remained patiently bound within me.
But she's been stalking the edges of her metaphorical cage, counting the days until she could take over, and I realize now that it wasn't just her desire for freedom.
She missed her mates. She longed for their soft fur against hers, for their animal scent and the sharpness of their fangs.
She wanted to run.
So that's what we do.
My wolf and I dance out from beneath our mates. With a backward glance, we make sure they're with us.
Then we take off.
Christ, it feels amazing.
The dirt and pine smell just the way we remembered. These grounds are as familiar as an old, perfectly broken in pair of shoes. Our mates' scents laid over the scents of the forest only make it all better.
The miles disappear beneath our paws. Our mates keep pace, darting ahead now and then only to circle back. They find ways to rub up against us, to nip at our heels, and every press of their hot flanks to ours just adds to the thrill of the chase.
For the thousandth time, gratitude swamps me. I may regret the time I lost with my father and the pain he endured at Katarina's hands, but if I hadn't been cast out, I would never have met my mates. I would never have fallen in love or submitted to the per
fect protection of their pack bond. I wouldn't have been bred. I wouldn't be a mother.
A pang squeezes our heart at the thought of our pups, but we push it away. They're safe and cared for and we need this.
And we need a hell of a lot more.
The deep longing to connect with our mates grows and grows. I don't feel sexual desire the same way in my wolf form as I do in my human one, but the general signs of arousal are all there. Our breath races, our heart pounds. Every brush of our mates' big lupine bodies against ours makes the heat in our blood burn hotter.
We want to roll over. We want their teeth in our flesh, their hot cocks deep inside. We want to taste and lick and take, to lie down on this very ground and present for mating, to receive them over and over and over—
But I want something else even more desperately.
So we run.
Through the forest I used to call home and which we've reclaimed, past the place where Nikki and Claire and Tommy and I used to play when we were pups.
And deeper. Farther.
Until we reach the little clearing. The sanctuary where my female cousins and I would take refuge those couple of times a year when our biology compelled us. The cabin appears in the distance. My pulse pounds, a sharp ache of animal, sexual need twisting my belly and the space between my legs.
How many seasons did I spend out here? I would feel the oncoming heat in my blood and make my arrangements. I'd take food and water and the biggest fucking vibrator I owned, and I would retreat to this place.
For days, I'd endure the agony of my mating season alone. Virginal and untouched, I'd lie there through the sweats and the cramps, my pussy swollen and hot, my womb screaming to be filled with male seed. When my wolf couldn't stand it anymore, I'd shift into my human form and retreat to the cabin's lone mattress. Spread out there, I'd fuck myself over and over, bringing myself to disappointing, unsatisfying climaxes until finally the urgency would pass.
But not anymore.
I'm nowhere close to my season right now. My body is only freshly healed from bringing a litter of pups into this world.
I don't care.
The need to reconnect with my mates is as strong as the breeding urge. They've been so good to me. They've supported me and loved me through so much, and I've allowed them to, leaning on them every step of the way.