by Rita Herron
"My hope is that by sharing my past I can persuade others, especially troubled teens, who are in need of help to come forward and ask for it."
Maddie plucked a box of tissues from the table and hugged them to her. Chase massaged Maddie's back with a terrified look on his face. Reid's leg twitched faster.
"I'd like to start by telling you about my mother. Her name is Deseree." The camera panned to a close-up of the bottled blonde he'd seen in Vegas. She was decked out in gaudy jewelry and a bright orange outfit and had big hair, and seemed pleased to be on camera.
"My mother had a very difficult childhood," Sophie began. "She grew up with alcoholic parents who abandoned her when she was a teenager. With no family to help her, little education, and no money, she set out on her own. She survived, but she was desperate and resorted to working in a dance club in Vegas, and later, I hate to admit, to being a call girl."
The audience murmured a low rumble of whispers, but they were captivated.
"As a little girl, I didn't understand why other children made fun of her or me, but I knew my family was different, and I closed myself off from others. By the time my little sister was born I was old enough to realize that the late nights my mother worked were not waitressing jobs. I was afraid of the men she brought home, protective of my sister, and basically ashamed of her life. I swore when I grew up I'd be different."
Lance knotted his hands into fists and started to stand. "I don't want to hear any more."
Maddie grabbed his arm and jerked him back down. "Shut up and sit there and listen."
Then she grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. Chase cradled her to him. "We should turn it off, Maddie; all that crying can't be good for the baby."
Maddie blew her nose. "The baby's fine."
Reid slid to the edge of the seat to get up then, and Maddie snapped her fingers toward him. "You, too. Reid. I mean it, don't move. We're watching every minute."
Reid pressed his fists together while Lance pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Anyway," Sophie continued, "it wasn't until I met a special friend, Maddie Summers, and her brothers, that I learned about real families. I wanted that so desperately; all I'd ever dreamed of was a nice big old house with a front porch and my own bedroom with a walk-in closet and a white picket fence and maybe a pond out back...." Emotions choked her voice, and she paused, making Lance's throat thicken. "I wanted that so badly I tried to hide my past, hide who I am."
Lucy cleared her throat and broke in. "You see, my sister and I grew up in Vegas, watching the showgirls walk the streets. We'd sneak into shows backstage to watch the girls dance, and eventually created our own show. When we got older we needed money ourselves, so we took our act to the Palace. Some of you might have heard of it—the Diva act."
Again the audience murmured and whispered, but Lance saw their expressions. Sympathy. Compassion. Admiration.
He hoped Sophie saw it, too.
She composed herself. "Anyway, I realized recently that our past is very important; it shapes us and makes us who we are. We should never be ashamed of it; we should embrace it, treasure it, allow it to help us grow." She stood. "That said, I'd like for Deseree—my mother—to come up onstage." Sophie's voice wobbled. "You see, my mother may not have made all the right choices back then, but she loved me and my sister, and she did what she had to do to survive. And I learned from a very wise, smart girl"—she gestured toward Lucy—"about forgiveness. Today I'd like to honor my mother by introducing her to you."
The camera once again swung to Deseree, and the audience burst into applause as she wove her way up to the stage. "Come on up here, Mom."
Deseree waved to the crowd, then burst into tears. Sophie embraced her, and Lucy joined them in a group hug.
Lance exhaled, trying to steady his own emotions. Maddie was completely out of control, sobbing like a baby. Chase kept stuffing tissues in her hand, his expression of terror and sympathy almost comical.
"I can relate to Sophie," Chase admitted gruffly, reminding Lance of Chase's life in the orphanage.
"I should never have let her go," Lance said in a husky voice.
"What a nightmare for Sophie and Lucy," Reid said.
"I love her," Lance said. "I thought she knew that."
"How would she know it if you didn't tell her, you big idiot?" Maddie blew her nose so loudly she nearly burst Lance's eardrum.
But she was pregnant, so he didn't say a word.
Instead he stared down at his shoes. Maddie was right. He had never told her. "It's too late now," Lance said, although he couldn't stand the possibility of her moving away and giving up the house she had worked so hard to buy. The home she'd put so much time and love into. "She gave me back my shirt." The fact that she'd rather be naked than wear it had said a lot.
Reid and Chase looked at him as if he'd gone alien on them.
"It's never too late," Maddie whispered. "Not if you really, really love her."
He did love her, more than anything. In fact, he wanted her so badly it hurt to breathe. But after the way he'd acted, how could he convince her?
Chapter 23
Lance had an idea, but he needed help, so he conferred with Reid, then called his work crew to set his plan into motion. Finally he left a message on Sophie's home machine saying that she and Lucy had to stay in a hotel for a couple of days so he could have the wood floors finished.
He had a few other things in mind, too, but they would be surprises.
Sophie's Mother's Day show had moved him so much that he stopped by to pick up some flowers and drove to the cemetery where his parents were buried. Odd how he had rarely visited their graves. The sight of the tombstones always evoked such a deep loss in him that he couldn't bear it.
But he owed his mother a visit. Besides, he needed to talk to her.
A warm spring breeze fluttered through the trees surrounding the property, and artificial flower arrangements swayed and danced in the wind. His chest felt tight as he forced himself along the path.
Finally he stood before his parents' final resting place. He had felt so young when they'd died, so scared of the future, so worried about Maddie and Reid.
So hurt and angry and alone.
Memories of his parents on various Christmases flooded him, their laughter and good-natured bickering over which tree to cut down and how many lights to add to the house. Birthdays, family dinners, church services, Easter, graduation—except his parents hadn't attended his graduation because they'd already been gone.
That night he'd walked onstage to accept his diploma, wishing with all his heart that his father and mother could have been in the audience. Instead of celebrating with his friends after the ceremony, he'd brooded and vowed never to get attached to anyone else again.
And he hadn't....
Not until Sophie.
He knelt and placed the flowers in the vase at the head of his mother's grave. "Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I..." His throat choked as tears filled his eyes. "I miss you." He hesitated, gathering his control.
"I know I don't come to visit much, but it's hard, you know." He rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Anyway, I wish you could see Reid and Maddie, Mom. Reid's turned out to be a good worker; he's smarter than any of us ever gave him credit for, and... I think he might even be in love." He chuckled, remembering the stricken look on his brother's face when he'd seen Lucy on TV.
"And Maddie... well, you know Maddie's a handful, like always. She married Chase, and now they're expecting a baby, and her hormones have kicked in. Geesh, Chase has his work cut out for him." A smile came to him. "I wish you could be here to see your grandbaby, but I promise to watch over him or her, although Chase'll do that, too. He's going to make a great father, Mom, and he loves Maddie so much, you can see it every time he looks at her." He thanked the heavens his and Reid's interference hadn't kept them apart. "You'd be proud of her, too; she has her own business, and... well, you know I always thought I took care of her, but it's the other way around. Ma
ddie takes care of me and Reid. She's the glue, Mom, that holds us together. You did good with her."
Emotions clogged his throat again. "Anyway, I came because I wanted you to know I've met someone. Her name is Sophie. She's... Maddie's best friend, and she's just the prettiest, brightest, greatest woman I've ever known, but I've screwed up with her over and over again. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't give up on me a long time ago." He cleared his throat. "I kept pushing her away, because I was scared of loving her and having her leave me like... like you and Dad did." He dropped his head forward into his hands, willing away the pain. "I hate to admit it, but I was angry when you left, mad at you and Dad for leaving me alone, for leaving me to take care of Reid and Maddie when I was just a kid myself." A tear escaped and trickled down his cheek. "That's the reason I haven't been by much, but that's going to change."
The wind whistled through the trees, stirring the grass and dirt over his parents' graves. He lifted his face to feel it caress his cheeks—was it a sign his mother could hear him?
"Uh, and there's one more thing." He stared up into the heavens. "I know you're up there, Mom, and I think you'd really like Sophie, so... I wondered if you could somehow flutter those angel wings and do something to help Sophie forgive me? And if she gets a job someplace else, well, maybe you could be there to tell me what to do then...."
* * *
After she'd made peace with her mother, Sophie felt a weight lift from her. Not only had the show been a success and pulled in top ratings, but her agent had called and upped the money offer for that anchor news spot.
She should be ecstatic.
But hearing Lance's voice on her answering machine had resurrected the pain of losing him all over again. She had packed a bag, and she and Lucy had driven to the hotel where Deseree was staying so she wouldn't have to face seeing him in person when he arrived to finish the flooring. They were getting dressed to meet Deseree for dinner, and had promised to show her some of the famous Savannah sights.
Sophie brushed her hair, wondering if she should let the natural blond color return or keep the black. There was no reason to hide anything now; she no longer needed to run from her past.
"You seem so sad." Lucy came up behind Sophie. "I wish I could do something, Soph."
"You mean you don't have a spell to vanquish heartache?"
Lucy fluffed her long curls. "I'm done with spells for a while."
Sophie laughed. "And I'm finished with that singles service."
"George and Rory both left messages. You could call one of them."
Sophie shrugged and dropped the brush. "Maybe later. But right now... well, it's not fair of me to go out with them when I'm thinking about Lance."
"I suppose."
"Do you miss Reid?"
"What?" Lucy gestured toward herself with her thumbs. "Me miss a man? Honey, there's lots of fish in the sea. Didn't Maddie's rules say to cast your line for another one?"
"Oh, my goodness, those rules..." Sophie laughed. "I think we need to chuck them along with your spells."
Lucy slid her arm through Sophie's as they walked to the door. "So if you're not into dating right now, you need to take a look at my Sleepover, Inc., catalog and stock up. I'm running a special closeout deal: Buy one item, get the second one free...."
* * *
Lance was shaking like a leaf in a tornado. He had no idea how Sophie would react to his plan, so he had divided it up into two stages. First he had to convince her that her dancing didn't matter to him.
Well, actually, it did matter, especially if she chose to continue it, but he loved her and somehow he'd learn to live with it. Surely the therapist who'd helped him with his sleep disorder could prescribe some medication to calm him enough so he wouldn't assault every male in the audience when he caught them looking at her. If not, maybe Reid and Chase could restrain him....
And if she wanted to move, well, he'd move, too. Maybe they could hire someone to help his brother and Chase here, and he could do some contracting work in a new city.
Trying not to dwell on that issue, he dressed in the vampire costume he'd found at a party store, and sneaked into the back room of Frosty's Bar. Although he hated public spectacles, the only way he knew to make Sophie believe he accepted her dancing—and the only way he could make himself believe he could fit in with her TV friends—was to face his fears dead-on. He'd asked Maddie to arrange an impromptu party for Sophie and her friends under the guise of celebrating the syndication of Sophie Knows, and he intended to surprise her.
Sophie and Lucy and Maddie were all hovering together in the back of the room while Sophie's friends mingled. He spotted Reid and Chase ordering beers from the bar. They looked up and saw him and laughed. He almost backed out. Then Sophie pivoted, and he saw her face. His heart did a strange flip-flop, and he thought, Oh, hell, so what if he lost his pride? Without Sophie what did it matter?
He gave Chase the cue and rock music piped up. Inhaling for courage, he strode into the room, wove through the crowd, and began to dance for Sophie.
* * *
Sophie stared in stunned silence as Lance danced in front of her. He looked ridiculous in that vampire costume, and handsome as homemade sin, and incredibly embarrassed and delicious....
So why in the heck was he doing it? To embarrass her?
He swayed and gyrated his hips and moved his feet awkwardly, and she had to bite her bottom lip not to laugh.
"Go, man," Chase yelled.
"Yeah!" Reid called.
"Oh, my gosh," Lucy whispered.
A few of her friends from the show giggled, some of the group began clapping and chanting, while her station manager simply raised his eyebrows in question. Lance flapped the vampire cape around his body, missed a step, and nearly crashed into the food cart. He desperately needed dance lessons.
Sophie almost felt sorry for him.
Finally the music trailed off, and he bowed.
"Great show!" Maddie squealed. "Now everyone can loosen up and dance." She waved her hands in the air, and Lucy caught on, grabbing the first available male near her, the maintenance man at the show, and they began to do the twist.
Lance pulled Sophie into the corner. "You owe me one more date," Lance said. "I popped the balloon, and the note said to dance for you."
"It did not."
"Okay, I added that part, but you still owe me a date."
"Is this a joke?" Sophie said in a strained whisper.
"You think I made a fool out of myself for a joke?" His voice sounded steely and serious.
Sophie swallowed. "I don't know what to think, Lance."
He traced a finger along her cheek. "When the party's over, meet me at your house. We'll finish the date then...."
"Lance." Pain resurfaced as Sophie remembered his reaction to her Diva act. "Did you do this to embarrass me?"
"No, hell, no, Sophie." He gestured at the black vampire costume. "I did it to show you that your dancing doesn't bother me."
Sophie twisted her mouth sideways. "Really?"
"Really."
"Then if I want to go back to Vegas to perform that's okay with you?"
His eye twitched. "If that's what you want." He yanked at his collar as if he were sweating. "I'll take you any way I can get you."
Hope fluttered in Sophie's chest, but died when she realized he was lying. Her dancing act would always bother him. Lance was old-fashioned, overly protective, a tad bit sexist.... "It's too late," Sophie said. "Too much has happened."
Lance brushed his knuckles across her cheek. "It's not too late, not if you love me." He pressed his lips to her cheek. "Meet me at your house. I'll be waiting."
And then he was gone, leaving Sophie confused and alone and wondering what else he had in store for her tonight. She was still hurting, too, because he'd said it wasn't too late if she loved him. But that had never been the problem.
The problem was that he had never loved her in return....
* * *
By the time Sophie arrived, her nerves were strung tighter than a G-string. After Lance had left, she'd been too anxious to eat or drink and had finally begged off the party and hurried home.
She gaped at the white picket fence surrounding the house, astonished that Lance had had it installed so quickly. And how had he worked that into her budget? First there had been the upgraded hardware, then the stained-glass window...
He waved to her from the porch, where he was pacing.
Good, at least he was nervous, too.
Sliding from the seat, she adjusted the straps of her sundress, wishing she'd worn a jacket. She felt naked and vulnerable and so needy for Lance that her body trembled from head to toe as she climbed the porch steps and walked toward him.
"Hello, Sophie."
"Lance." She gestured toward the fence. "How'd you do that so fast? And what about the cost?"
"Don't worry. It all worked out fine." His smile seemed forced. "There're still a few more things to do to the house, but I want you to see the progress."
She nodded, her gaze turning wary. "Is that what this is about, the house?"
He took her hand in his. "Partly."
Then he led her inside. Sophie ran her finger over the beautiful painted trimwork and molding, in awe that he'd discovered the natural wood beneath all the carpeting and had stripped and refinished the flooring so quickly. The kitchen island had been installed, the bright white trim and yellow paint giving the room an airy, sunny feel. He'd even added a contemporary sink with pewter hardware and a built-in pantry that she hadn't expected.
"Come on; there's a surprise up here." He pulled her around to the staircase, then up the steps. She smiled when she saw him bend to pet her cat. Jazzy barely snarled this time. Her cat must be getting used to Lance. Would Jazzy miss him, too, if things didn't work out?
Was she getting her hopes up that they would?
"We added some things to your bath," Lance said.
"Oh, my gosh." Sophie halted in shock. The Jacuzzi was working, but it was the big walk-in closet that caught her eye. She'd never mentioned a walk-in closet, thinking there wouldn't be room and that she couldn't afford it. She stepped inside, amazed at the customized shelving he'd designed.