by Kristi Gold
“I went out for a drive.”
“With Dharr?”
“Yeah. Sorry I missed my curfew.”
Carolyn folded her arms in true disapproving-mother fashion. “What is really going on between the two of you?”
This was so ridiculous, and typical. “Mom, I’ve already told you, and so has Dharr, that what we might or might not do together is really no one’s business but ours.”
“I’m worried about you, Raina. I’m worried you’re getting in too deep.”
Raina had to admit her mother had valid concerns. “I’m mature enough to handle it, Mother.”
“You keep telling me that, then you disappear in the middle of the night like some teenager with a man who might as well be a stranger.”
“He’s not a stranger. I’ve known him for years.”
“Exactly how well do you know him now?”
Raina was way too weary to dance around the truth any longer. Hanging onto her last scrap of self-control, she calmly said, “We’re lovers, Mother. Are you happy now?”
If she was at all shocked over the revelation, Carolyn hid it well. “Are you going to marry him?”
“That has not even entered my mind.” Not more than once or twice.
“But you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
“What makes you think that?” So much for trying to keep calm.
“As they say, it’s written all over your face.”
Raina turned around and began to aimlessly arrange her toiletries on the dresser. “What do they know?”
Her mother came up behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve seen that same look on my own face. You’re burning for him.”
Burning? Raina stared at her reflection in the mirror. Funny, she didn’t look as if she were on fire, even though in Dharr’s presence, that couldn’t be more true.
She shook off her mother’s hand and faced her. “Okay, I admit I do have feelings for him. But it doesn’t matter. We agreed from the beginning this thing was only temporary. Neither of us wants a commitment.” How incredibly false she sounded.
Her mother’s expression turned sympathetic. “Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I hate seeing your heart breaking.”
“My heart is still intact.” Even if she couldn’t guarantee for how long.
Carolyn braced both hands on her hips. “I ought to give him a good tongue lashing for leading you on. I should tell your father and let him do it.”
Alarms rang out in Raina’s head. “Do not tell Papa a thing. He doesn’t need to know. And you can’t blame Dharr for this. We were both in it together.”
“But you’re the one who fell in love.”
Too exhausted to continue, she said, “Mother, I need to sleep some before tonight’s reception. Can we discuss this later?” Or never.
She patted Raina’s cheek. “Okay. You get some sleep. If you want to talk, come and find me.”
When her mother turned toward the door, Raina noticed something very odd about the normally well-groomed Carolyn Kahlil. The tag on her slacks was exposed, as were the seams. Her mother’s pants were on wrong side out.
“One more thing, Mom.”
Carolyn turned, one hand braced on the knob. “What?”
“Were you only visiting with Papa. Or were you visiting with Papa?”
Her hand dropped to her side. “I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
Raina gestured toward her mother’s slacks. “You’re wearing the same clothes you had on at dinner last night and best I can recall, you had them on correctly during our meal. Obviously you’ve taken them off at some point.”
She looked down, then back up again. “I…uh…”
“You and Papa had a little post-separation coitus?”
“We are still married, Raina.”
True, but she didn’t even want to think about her own mother and father having sex. No child ever did. Especially a child who’d suffered through their estrangement for years. “Did you even stop to consider his heart condition?”
“He doesn’t have a heart condition, Raina. He has a hiatal hernia. He’s had it for years. If he doesn’t take his medicine, he has chest pains, especially when he insists on eating spicy foods, which he does. His tests were all normal.”
Fury caused Raina to grip her hands in tight fists at her sides, her nails biting into her palms. “So this was all a ruse to get me back here. And he got you in the bargain, too.”
“That wasn’t what he intended. His doctors worried it might be more serious, and he worried he might not ever see you again. So please don’t blame him.”
Raina was almost rendered speechless. “Mother, you two slay me. For years you wouldn’t give each other the time of day. Now you’re making whoopee and ganging up on me. What gives?”
She paused for a moment, looking somewhat indecisive. “Sweetheart, your father and I wanted to tell you together, but I guess now is as good a time as any.”
“What is it, Mom?” Raina sounded like the little girl again. That same little girl who listened to her mother all those years ago say they wouldn’t be coming back to Azzril.
“I’m going to stay here. We’ve decided to try it again. We’ve realized we still love each other very much.”
How many years had Raina longed to hear that? How many times had she prayed for that very thing? But now, she experienced the sting of resentment and the bite of more abandonment. “That’s just great, Mother.”
Carolyn looked as if she might cry, something she rarely did. “I thought you would be happy.”
Raina traded her guilt over being so harsh for some honesty. “Eleven years ago, I would’ve been thrilled. Now all I can think about is the nights I stayed awake wanting to go home and wondering why you and Papa split. Have those reasons changed?”
“Honey, I left because I knew how much your father loved his country even after they exiled him for marrying me. I saw him agonizing over it for years. I thought that if I returned to America, he’d try to go back and make amends, which he didn’t. There’s something else, too.”
Raina wasn’t sure she had the stamina to hear it, but she might as well get it over with. “What else?”
“After I had you, I couldn’t have more children. I wanted to give him a son, an heir, and that wasn’t possible. But he told me yesterday he never wanted any of those things, only me. Pride has kept us apart, and love has brought us back together, this time for good.”
“That’s very poetic, Mother.” Raina felt the rise of tears, the joy mixed with the sorrow. She was happy her parents had made amends, but now she would return to California alone. She would also never know that kind of commitment with the man she loved.
Feeling remorseful over her callousness, she hugged her mother and pulled back before she started to sob. “I’m happy for you, Mom. Truly I am. I’m going to miss you, though.”
Her mother cupped her cheek. “Your father and I wish you would consider staying. If not permanently, at least for a while.”
Stay and face Dharr knowing he would never love her. She couldn’t do that. In fact, she didn’t want to stay a minute longer, but she had promised Dharr she would be at the reception. She planned to keep that promise. Tomorrow morning she would make plans to leave. “I’ll be fine. I have a good job. And now that I know you’ll take care of Papa, I need to go home.”
Home. Had California ever really been her true home? Not really.
“And you won’t stay a few more days?” Carolyn asked.
She didn’t want to dash her mother’s hope, at least not now. “I’ll think about it. But right now I really need some sleep.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll see you tonight.”
Raina escorted her mother out, then tried one more time to go to bed, only to be halted by another knock on the door. If she thought it might be Dharr, she would run. Believing that to be impossible, she dragged her feet all the way to answer the summons.
She was glad she hadn’t hurried when
she found a strange woman with severe short black hair and overdone makeup standing on the other side of the threshold, a long black bag draped over one arm. “Princess Kahlil, especially selected for you.”
Raina took the bag and envelope she offered, thanked her and after the woman left, hooked the hanger over the top of the door. She slit open the envelope and read the message penned in bold script.
A special gift for a special woman. A dress fit for a queen. Wear it for me tonight—Dharr
For a queen? Surely he didn’t mean… No, she would not read more into this than it was—a thoughtful gesture from a thoughtful man. An incredible man with incredible taste, she decided as she unzipped the plastic and slid it from the garment. The floor-length sleeveless white satin gown, its high collar accentuated with gold braid, would be deemed simple and elegant, but gorgeous.
Raina held it against her and surveyed it in the mirror. She loved it. Tonight she would wear it for him, and hope that he would be responsible for taking it off. Maybe she would stay a couple more days.
But she wouldn’t be worth anything if she didn’t get some rest. Dark circles didn’t go well with white satin.
As she finally settled into bed for a nap, she couldn’t prevent the excitement and the glimmer of hope. Maybe tonight would be a turning point in hers and Dharr’s relationship. Maybe tonight, when they were alone again, she would find the courage to tell him how she really felt. And maybe, just maybe, he might admit he had feelings for her, too.
Ten
When Raina appeared in the entry to the grand salon, Dharr could not put into words exactly how he felt. Mesmerized by her. Proud of her. Lost to her.
The dress fit her perfectly, as he’d known it would when he’d selected it from those the local boutique owner had brought to him. He’d had no difficulty judging which one would fit; he had memorized every inch of Raina’s body both by touch and sight. Her hair was pulled up high, three braids woven with gold ribbon trailing from where it had been bound. She wore more makeup tonight, yet it did not mask her beauty even though he preferred the natural color of her lips. When they were alone again later, he would gladly remove the lipstick and the dress. If they had the opportunity to be alone.
As he visited with the Doriana contingency, he covertly watched Raina, her movements refined as she mingled with the guests on the arm of her father. He wondered what it would be like to have her on his arm, showing the world that she was his. But she would not be his, and he needed to remember that. He would do nothing to threaten her coveted freedom. He would not be left with his emotions in shambles again. He would not watch her walk away with his heart, though he wondered if perhaps she would take a part of it with her despite his determination not to love her.
When she moved closer, he gestured her over. She excused herself from the sultan and came to his side, smiling when he said, “Princess Kahlil, this Mr. Renaldo Chapeline, prime minister of Doriana.”
The portly balding man bowed and kissed her hand. “Enchanté, Princess.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, as well, Prime Minister.”
Chapeline released her hand and regarded Dharr. “You have made a fine choice for a bride, Sheikh Halim.”
Dharr glanced at Raina to find her looking at him expectantly before addressing the prime minister again. “I am afraid that what you may have heard are only rumors. The princess and I do not plan to marry. She will be returning to California soon.”
He saw something else in Raina’s eyes, something he could not define when she added, “Yes, I’ll be returning very soon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I see my mother summoning me.”
Dharr watched her walk away, perplexed to see that her mother seemed preoccupied with the sultan and not at all interested in Raina’s whereabouts, and even more confused when Raina stopped to converse with Raneer on her way to join her parents.
“She is a beauty, Sheikh Halim,” Chapeline said, drawing Dharr’s attention. “I am sorry to hear she is not the one for you.”
Yet she could be the one, Dharr realized in that moment. Or would be were she not intent on returning home. He turned his back, refusing to look at her any longer, refusing to acknowledge the soul-deep pain threatening to surface. Refusing to accept that he would soon have to let her go.
Raina summoned her parents into the foyer and prepared for the fall-out. “I wanted to let you both know I’m leaving tonight.”
“Tonight?” Her papa’s face reflected unmistakable fury. “Have you totally taken leave of your senses?”
Yes, she had, on more than one occasion with Dharr. But she had full control of mental function at the moment. “I have to get back to work. If I leave now, I’ll be recovered from the flight by Tuesday at the latest.” Even if she wouldn’t be quite recovered from her limited time with Dharr.
“That’s silly, Raina,” her mother said. “Waiting one more day isn’t going to matter all that much. We’ve barely seen you since I’ve arrived.”
No kidding. “I think that’s because you and Papa have spent all your time together, and that’s okay.”
“This is our fault,” Idris said. “We have not afforded you much courtesy because we have focused only on—”
“Getting reacquainted,” Carolyn interrupted. “But if you stay, we promise we’ll pay more attention to you.”
“I’m not a child, Mother. I don’t need your undivided attention.” She offered an unsteady smile. “You both need to catch-up on all the time you’ve missed together. And I really am happy you’ve decided to make your marriage work.” Finally, Raina thought, but discarded the bitterness for the sake of her family. She couldn’t change what had been, but she could learn to embrace what would be—her parents’ happiness—even if her own looked bleak.
Her mother’s joy illuminated her expression. “We’re so glad you’re happy, sweetheart. But I still don’t know how you’re going to manage to get a flight on such notice. Not to mention you’ll have to drive miles to the nearest commercial airport.”
“I’ve taken care of that,” Raina said. “Mr. Raneer told me that the king and queen are due to arrive within the hour. He also told me I could use the private plane. All he has to do is arrange for another pilot to take me back to California.”
Her papa looked handsome in all his royal finery, but no less unhappy. “Then it appears that is settled and obviously we cannot change your mind.”
“No, Papa, you can’t. I think this is best for all concerned.” Especially for Dharr. He’d been so adamant in telling the prime minister their engagement was only a rumor that it seemed no hope remained for a permanent relationship between them. Oddly that’s what she’d wanted all along—nothing permanent. But now she wanted so much more. If she couldn’t count on some kind of commitment in the future, then no future could exist between them.
Her mother pinned Raina with a knowing look. “Have you told the sheikh your plans?”
“I’ll talk to him before I leave.” Something she was definitely dreading.
Her papa said, “Then I am to presume there are no plans for you both to marry?”
As badly as Raina hated destroying her father’s wishes, she couldn’t give him false hope. “No. No plans. There never were. Dharr and I began as friends, and we’ll part as friends.” She prayed that would be the case. “I’m sure he’ll find someone who will make a good queen.” And that thought made Raina both angry and sad.
Ready to get the goodbyes finished, she hugged her mother first, then her papa. “You both take care. Maybe I’ll see you soon. You could have a second honeymoon in California.”
Raina hated the sadness in her papa’s eyes, hated even more that she’d put it there. “God speed, my záhra.”
“Take care, sweetheart. Call when you’re back in California.”
“I will.”
Raina turned and rushed up the stairs, holding back her tears until she was safely in her room—Dharr’s room. While she swiped furiously at her tearstained face,
she meant to pull her clothes from the hangers in the closet but instead found herself staring at his clothes. Slowly she ran her fingers over one tailored jacket, then lifted the sleeve and held it against her damp cheek. How terribly silly she was. How incredibly foolish she’d been. And how very hard she had fallen in love like some fickle female who didn’t know what was good for her.
One thing she did know to be true—she was good for Dharr. They were good for each other. But if he didn’t love her, if he allowed her to walk out of his life for good, then that couldn’t be at all true.
Only one way to find out.
For the next hour, Dharr went through the motions of playing the perfect host, fighting the urge to search Raina out until he could no longer fight. He scanned the room filled with guests yet she was nowhere to be found.
He signaled Raneer and took him to one side. “Have you any word on my parents’ arrival?”
“Yes. They should be landing at the airstrip in the next half-hour. They hope to make an appearance before the guests disperse.”
“Good. Have you seen the princess?”
“No, your grace. But I have spoken with her.”
“I noticed. What was that about?”
“She made a request.”
“What request?”
“For use of the plane for her return to America.”
Dharr attempted to sound as nonchalant as possible though he highly doubted he’d completely hidden his concern. “Did she say when she will be returning?”
Abid tugged at his collar. “She says she must return immediately. Tonight.”
Dharr’s concern increased. “Has there been an emergency?”
“None that I am aware of.”
“Where is she now?”
“As far as I know, in her quarters, packing.”
Dharr pushed his way through the guests, muttering apologies as he went. As he ascended the stairs, a thousand questions hurled through his mind. Why was she leaving now? Was he somehow responsible for her departure? Had she intended to go without telling him goodbye?