“Your parents?” I ask.
Snake’s face goes a shade darker. He brushes it off with a nonchalant attitude. “I don’t remember much about them, to be honest. They died when I was three years old.” He fiddles with a fork, reading the question that’s all over my face. He drops the fork with a solemn look. “Murder-suicide. My dad shot my mom, then shot himself.”
“Oh God.” I squeeze Snake’s hand.
Snake shakes his head. “They left me. So fuck them. From what I understand, they were junkies, and barely took care of me while they were alive. I don’t know why my dad did it. I heard all different stories, that my mom was cheating on him, or that she was trying to rob him. Maybe he was just out of his mind with the drugs. They did me a favor, actually. They got out of my way so I could meet my real family.”
“The Mariano’s,” I say, my throat dry. I struck against his family. The magnitude of what I did to him hits me all at once.
“That’s right. Salvatore found me on the street. He saw my potential, and took me in. I haven’t turned back since.”
Until now. Snake gives me a long, dark look, and I can tell he’s thinking the same thing. He’s currently having breakfast with the enemy. This shared thought plants a kernel of fear in my mind.
We finish breakfast. Snake pays the check, because he never lets me pay. When we walk out to the parking lot, he asks me for the car keys. I don’t think much of it at first, so I let him drive. But when I get into the passenger seat, dread settles heavily in my stomach. The Mariano’s are his family, and I tried to kill one of them. Snake’s heartbreaking story showed me just how much he cared for them, how much he thinks he owes them. How could I expect Snake to forgive me for that, or to ever trust me again? My palms start to sweat as paranoia sweeps through me, tingling every nerve.
Snake doesn’t take the normal route to my apartment. I stay quiet, trying to work everything out in my head. He has what he wants now. Toby’s system is in place. Like he said, all he has to do is wait for the cash to roll in. He doesn’t need me anymore.
“Just a quick detour,” Snake says, flashing me a smile.
Don’t forget that you’re riding with a murderer, I think.
Snake is a man of absolutes. His loyalties lie with the Mariano’s. Not with me. But that means everything was a lie, every touch, every kiss. Maybe he was just having fun with me before he killed me, or maybe he fucked me just to show that he could.
We come to a small shopping center that’s far flung from the congested city. My mind races with possibilities as Snake stops the car. Is he going to force me to get out? Make me get on my knees and beg for my life?
Snake smiles at me, cutting the engine. “You wait here.”
I watch him waltz into one of the stores. It’s a squat building in a pueblo motif, with neutral, stuccoed walls. Maybe this was planned, and there are other Mariano’s waiting for him inside. Maybe he’s fooled me this entire time, and hasn’t kept my secret. Maybe everyone knows, and they were just waiting for everything to fall into place before killing me.
The wind whips up dry dust, swirling up a dirt devil that lives a brief, jumpy life. What should I do? Run? Hide? I can’t think of a good enough excuse to save myself. With my quest for revenge put on hold indefinitely, and without Snake, I can’t think of anything to live for. Maybe I should just sit tight, and accept the fate that I always knew was coming.
I’m looking down when I sense Snake walk out of the store, and approach the car. I want to feel the bullet, sharp and quick, before my heart can fully process that it’s breaking. He opens the car door, and I see a flash of color in the corner of my eye, forcing me to look. When I see what he’s carrying, I almost want to break into tears. It’s a bouquet of daisies in pink, white, and yellow. He gives me a cocky grin as he hands me the flowers.
“Something to brighten up your apartment,” Snake says. “It’s so drab.”
I take the bouquet from him and breathe in the sweet scent. He’s watching me eagerly, wanting to know if he’s pleased me. He’s not going to kill me. That means that he doesn’t hold my assassination attempt against me. He’s holding me before his family. Does that mean that he-
“What is it?” Snake asks, slipping his arm around my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“It’s, um, allergies,” I say, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. “Thank you. This is really sweet.”
“That’s my job, right?” Snake says, holding me closer to him. “I haven’t done this boyfriend stuff much, but really, it’s a piece of cake.”
Boyfriend. Not only is he not killing me, he’s tying himself to me with this label. It’s an act of kindness so huge, I can barely fathom it, and something I never expected from a mafia soldier.
This is entirely different than Jake. Snake’s looking past my flaws, past my misdeeds, and he’s seeing me.
And he’s not running away.
Back at my apartment, the flowers are barely in the vase before I’ve ripped Snake’s clothes off, and pushed him into the bedroom. He bends me over the bed, fucking me ravenously from behind. He yanks my hair, pulling my head back to ravenously kiss my lips. Through his clenched teeth, he hisses, “I fucking love you.”
He stops pounding me for a moment wrap me in his arms. I feel his breath as his chest expands against me. I can’t say anything. I lean back, burying my face in his chest. I don’t want to think about Jake right now, but I do. I can’t help feeling like I’m betraying him. The passion I have for Snake, no matter how intense, will always be tempered by my guilt.
Now I have to decide where my loyalties lie.
Chapter Nineteen
Snake
It’s four in the morning. I can’t sleep. Jess is beside me, her breath rhythmic and steady. Her face is serious, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Jealousy tugs at my skin. Is she dreaming of him?
I’m going to make her forget all about him, Jake, the man I killed. That’s my goal. And I’m already half way there. Jess shivers every time I touch her, a deep shudder that I’m sure brings her clit to life. I’ve gotten really good at making her come. I know exactly how to get her there, just how to touch her. By the time I’m done with her, she’s a sopping wet, quivering mess.
And she’s starting to understand just how serious I am about her. In the few weeks since Toby’s system went into place, I’ve played the part of the doting boyfriend to a fucking T. We do everything together. It’s almost like we’re married.
She hasn’t told me she loves me yet. I’ve said it three times. I know exactly what’s holding her back. It’s him. She still feels like we’re on opposite teams. I’m aligned with the big bad men who killed her fiancé. Actually, I am the big bad man who killed her fiancé. The fact that if she ever found out, and turned her vengeance on me makes me more than a little insecure. And even though we share a bed now, I can tell she doesn’t completely trust me. Sometimes, I terrify her. I see it in her eyes. Maybe it has something to do with all the times I threatened to kill her. Maybe it’s because, according to code, I should kill her.
I press against her, lightly kissing her neck. He’s gone. I’m here. And I’m glad I killed him, so I can have you.
Let’s see, if I want to spend the rest of my life with Jess, can I really keep that secret for so long? It shouldn’t be a problem. There’s no way in hell I’d spill those beans. But is it going to be nagging at my head for decades to come? I found it easy to lie to women in the past, as easy as breathing. But I don’t want to lie to Jess. It’s just that I have to.
I close my eyes and lie still for a few minutes. I quickly realize that this isn’t going to work. I can’t switch my brain off to sleep. I shove the covers off of myself, and go to the laptop to check our progress. Charges have been slowing rolling in the past few weeks. I asked Toby about this. He said the algorithm he used gets smarter as time passes. It’s actually learning. Things are slow now, but there will be a tipping point soon. I hope, for his sake, that there is
.
I log into the offshore account to see how much money has accumulated. The last time I checked, we were up to a whopping twenty bucks and some change. The screen is bright in the dark room. It takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust. I focus on the figure at the bottom of the screen that tallies the total amount of money in the account.
I squint, rub my eyes, and look again. It’s not twenty dollars anymore. It’s up to forty seven grand. Most of that is just from yesterday. A slow smile spreads across my face. Once Jess sees that it’s working, how much money we’re set to make, she’ll forget all about what’s his name.
You poor fucking dumbass, I think to Jake’s ghost. You could be in this position right now, but you pissed it all away.
I mean, what the fuck was he thinking, ratting on the Mariano’s? Did he really think he’d get away with it? And what did he think he’d get out of it? It really makes no sense.
“His loss,” I mutter with a shrug. I’m just a soldier. It’s not my job to make sense of the people I need to kill. My job is to follow orders and make money. I glance down the hallway, towards where Jess is sleeping. It’s not lost on me that she could be my fatal mistake. By being with her, I’m going against the Mariano’s, just like Jake.
But I’m going to make damn sure I don’t end up like him.
Jess wakes up a few hours later, wearing one of my shirts, and nothing else. I greet her in the hallway, wrapping her in my arms, and giving her a deep kiss. I reach under the shirt and grab her bare ass. My cock twitches to get inside of her, but that will have to wait.
“You’re in a good mood,” Jess purrs.
I kiss her knuckles, then lead her over to the laptop. “Wait until you see why.”
She flashes me a smile, then turns towards the screen. I watch while her eyes flit over the numbers. When she sees it, her eyes grow wide, and she stops breathing for a second.
“Is this right?” she asks, blinking.
I lift her hair and kiss the back of her neck. “It is,” I murmur. “You’re a fucking genius.” I slide my hands down the crease of her hips. “Wait until Monty hears about this. And Franco.” I start to pry her legs apart, when Jess stands suddenly. She walks to the other side of the room, hugging her arms around herself.
Fucking idiot, I scold myself. Why’d you have to mention Monty?
Jess looks out of the window, shaking her head. “This is surreal.”
I stand up slowly and walk over towards her. I know what she’s thinking. She ended up working for the very man she was trying to kill. She’s thinking that the success we have together is a direct betrayal of Jake. Jealously pools hotly in my veins. When is she going to forget about him? I’m tired of competing with a corpse. I slip my arms around her waist, and hug her to me.
“See,” I whisper in her ear. “We’re good together.”
Jess blinks up at me warily. I don’t like the nervous look in her eyes. I kiss her to make it go away. “Let’s go out today,” I whisper against her neck. “Let’s celebrate.”
I drive us out to Rodeo Drive. Jess doesn’t seem thrilled, but she politely goes along with the idea. We go into a high end shop. The inventory is sparse, but expensive. I tell Jess to pick something out for herself. Jess looks around the brightly lit store. She picks up a purse, looks at the price tag, and scoffs.
“You don’t need to worry about that, remember,” I say.
Jess shakes her head. “I don’t know, Snake. This stuff is so expensive. It feels-“
“What?” I ask, breathing hotly against her ear.
Jess sighs. “I don’t know what I was going to say. Dirty, maybe?”
I chuckle. “In this business, you have to get used to the grime.”
What Jess doesn’t know, is that I’ve seen pictures of her from her past, when she was always decked out in designer duds, lounging on yachts, or in the VIP area of exclusive clubs. That’s the life she lost, isn’t it? I can get it back for her.
I take her hand and lead her into a room full of fur coats. I pull an elegant throw from the rack, and slip it over her shoulders. While she admires herself in the mirror, I find a tiara set with crystals and real sapphires, then perch it on her head. She laughs, posing to the side in the mirror. I take her hand and kiss it.
“My mafia queen,” I say. “You look like fucking royalty.”
Jess blushes fiercely. She looks down at her feet, a smile tugging the corners of her lips.
“Let me guess,” she says, with a surge of confidence. “You’re the king?”
I slip my arm through the throw, finding her waist, then dig my fingers into her flesh possessively. “That’s right. I dare anyone to stand in our way.”
I kiss the side of her neck, making her giggle. Jess looks to the straight-backed sales woman who’s staring at us in the other room, and pulls away for me.
“This is too hot for LA weather,” Jess says, taking off the throw.
“Okay,” I say, cocking my head to the side. “What else would you like?”
Jess looks up at the ceiling, scrunching her face. “How about… lunch?”
It’s not exactly the extravagant gift I had in my mind, but I don’t deny her. We walk down the block to a bougie cafe, and find a table on the outdoor patio. I order the most expensive bottle of sparkling mineral water. When the waitress goes to get it, Jess quietly studies the menu. I reach under the table and grab her knee.
“So, you don’t like furs,” I say. “How about some jewelry?”
Jess looks at the menu, shaking her head. I slide my fingers further up her leg.
“A new car?” I ask.
“Snake.” Jess sighs with exasperation. “I don’t need anything. I’m good. That stuff doesn’t matter to me.” She blinks off into the distance, like she’s just realizing this about herself now.
I sit back, feeling like a fool. I’ve been trying to impress her, but really, I was trying to impress the old Jess. It’s okay, though. I’ll just use the secret charm in my pants to make her forget about Jake.
“You’re right, baby,” I murmur. “Who needs that shit? After we eat, let’s go back to the apartment. Let me strip you down and give you a massage.”
I’m waiting for her give me that shy smile, but she’s not even looking at me. Her eyes are trained past my shoulders. Her face is pale. I turn to look, and see two men sitting behind us. One of them looks at us, and seems to recognize Jess. He stands up awkwardly and walks over to our table. What the fuck does he want? I give the guy the side-eye. He tries to avoid my gaze.
“How are you, Jess?” he says, shaking her hand.
Jess clears her throat, her cheeks turning red. “Hi, Steve. I’m doing well.”
“Have you met my husband, Max?” Steve says, gesturing to his dining companion, who gives us a friendly wave.
“I think we met at the last office party.” Jess gives a quick wave back.
Steve turns to me. I glare at him.
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Steve says, offering me his hand.
“This is Tyler,” Jess says.
“Snake.” I stand up from my seat, towering over him. I shake his hand, perhaps, a little too hard.
“Snake,” Steve repeats, studying my face. I’ve seen that look before. He recognizes me, but he can’t quite place me. If he’s been in LA for very long, he should know who the Mariano’s are. I see the moment he works this out. His face falls, and he yanks his hand away, shoving it in his pocket. He clears his throat nervously. “See you in the office Monday, Jess. Enjoy your lunch.”
I watch Steve as he walks back to his table, then I sit back down. The waitress returns with our sparkling mineral water. Jess pours herself a glass, then drinks most of it in one gulp. She taps her foot beneath the table.
“What?” I ask sardonically. “Ashamed of your mafia boyfriend?”
“No,” Jess says, quickly. “Not ashamed. Just-“ Her voice trails off. She drinks more water.
Just what? Scared, embarrassed, what?
Maybe I’m not the respectable trophy husband that Jake would be. But Jake wasn’t respectable at all. He was as dirty as I am. The only difference here is that I don’t try to hide it.
The rest of our lunch is uneventful. When we leave, I catch Steve trying to talk to us out of the corner of my eye. I shoot him a glare, and he goes back to his sandwich.
Chapter Twenty
Jess
I can’t go on like this. I’m not meant for this world, for Snake’s world. When we ran into Steve, that was made abundantly clear. Steve was so shocked when he met Snake, it was like I was having lunch with a werewolf or something. It makes sense, professionally of course, to keep this thing I have with Snake separate from my work. But is that possible? Snake has embedded himself in every aspect of my life.
I should kill Monty, I think staring out of the car window as Snake drives me to work. I’ve let this go far enough. It’s time to end it, and finally accomplish what I set out to do. I can’t believe I’ve indulged myself in this mobster fantasy. Enough is enough.
Snake pulls up to the front of the office building, right where anyone could see us, and leans in to kiss me. I give him a quick peck on the lips. Snake shakes his head, letting me know that wasn’t enough. He grabs the back of my head, pulls me close to him, and gives me a deep, passionate kiss. Any nervousness I had about someone seeing us melts away as lustful fireworks explode in my lower belly.
If I kill Monty, I’ll lose Snake. I might even get him killed.
“See you later,” Snake says, rubbing his forehead against mine. He reaches up my skirt, and runs his fingers over my thong. “My favorite. Did you wear those for me?”
I nibble playfully at his ear. “You’ll just have to wait.”
Snake groans as I exit the car. I’m addicted to him, I realize, as my heels tap across the floor of the lobby. I’m addicted to his smell, his aura, to the way he makes me feel. I’ve never been so wanted by anyone, especially not Jake, who often preferred the company of his guy friends to me. And even though I tried to kill his boss, I know Snake would do anything for me.
Beware the Snake (Mafia Soldiers Book 1) Page 11