Rowena was the thief? Diana turned to the Saxon woman, whose eyes filled with tears as she watched. “God above, why?” Diana breathed. “What little food there is was shared fairly among us all. You were not being deprived.”
“You would not understand,” Rowena whispered.
“No, I don’t.”
Sosia waved her hand in dismissal. “We have asked her a dozen times and that is all the explanation she offers.”
Diana nodded, still staring at Rowena. The tears, she was suddenly sure, had naught to do with repentance. It was fear of the consequences that were causing them, for the atmosphere in the room promised violence. They were all justifiably furious that someone had stolen food from their mouths and the mouths of their children.
“Aye and it’s a piddling excuse to my mind,” Rhys ventured. “We cannot understand what she does not volunteer.”
“Turn her out, I say,” Evadne spat. “Let her take her chances without a homestead to call her own. She could put her thieving skills to better use out there!”
Diana recalled that Evadne had a child of her own.
There was a low murmur of agreement from the assembled adults and Diana felt her spirits sink. Turn Rowena out? Could she do that? She glanced at Alaric. His face was impassive but she thought she could see empathy there. Had he faced this sort of decision before?
Diana looked to Rowena once more. “Tell me why,” she demanded. “If you explain it to me, I can deal with you fairly. If you don’t…” She shrugged.
“Fairly? Fair?” Rowena repeated and sniffed mightily. “A Roman speaks of fairness?” She tried to laugh dryly but could not manage it. “You, all of you, your arrogance lets you believe that you have invented justice but you know nothing of real justice. Fairness is for Romans. Anyone else is trampled under your arrogant heel, put to slavery, or worse.” Rowena pointed to Alaric. “Those who you have attempted to subjugate, they understand that fairness doesn’t exist. It’s just a pretty idea that keeps idle minds occupied while the real world struggles for survival.”
“That is what you believe this is?” Alaric asked. “You think you have been threatened here?”
Rowena lifted her chin to look at him squarely. “You spoke it best when you said that you hate Saxons, warrior. You were closest to the truth that day. None of these others here can see that clearly. They hide behind words like ‘fairness’.”
Diana felt a sudden spurt of anger. “You have never been treated with anything less than respect here! We gave you shelter, food, warmth. Everything that we had, we shared with you.”
“But you did not give her acceptance,” Alaric said.
Diana was stunned. “You steal food from babies because we do not like you?”
“I told you that you would not understand.”
“Throw her to the wolves!” someone hissed from toward the back of the room and there was a low growl of agreement.
Diana felt an enormous anger and knew that at that moment she was fully capable of doing just what they wanted. With her bare hands if necessary. The charged atmosphere in the room was intoxicating.
“I want everyone to leave,” Diana said, lifting her voice a little so that all would hear her. “A decision of this nature cannot be discussed in open forum. All of you except Sosia, Alaric, Griffin, please go back to your quarters. I will deal with this matter immediately.”
Reluctantly, the people began to file out of the room.
“Rhys?” Diana hailed the big man.
He jerked his chin in acknowledgment.
“There is a padlock on the pantry door in the supply room. Take the padlock and lock Rowena into the last room before the bathhouse. It has a door. Sosia, please give him the key.”
Sosia handed over the key. Rhys gripped Rowena’s upper arm and hauled her to her feet. “Come, Saxon,” he growled and marched Rowena out of the room.
The room was empty except for the four of them. Diana gave a silent sigh of relief. Now she could begin to think properly.
“Sosia, what happened?”
“I believe the woman thought that with you gone she could be more daring. I walked into the supply room to find her stuffing a sack full of meal and what was left of the lamb that was slaughtered the other day.” Sosia shook her head. “She made no apology and no attempt to hide her sins. She is proud of her resourcefulness.”
“Yes, I saw that.”
“My lady, you cannot allow her to remain here,” Sosia said. “She will not change, not ever.”
“Sosia understands her well,” Alaric agreed, surprising her. “Rowena sees the world a different way from us. She cannot repent of something that she considers right and just.”
“You are advocating that I banish her? Turn her out?”
“Rowena’s acts were treacherous. They had a direct bearing upon me and my men. In Arthur’s army, a man committing such an offense against his fellow soldiers forfeits his life.”
“You want me to kill her?”
“It is called execution, ma’am,” Griffin said quietly.
“It is still murder…and you condone this?” Diana asked the young man.
“Rowena has declared herself our enemy.” Griffin looked uncomfortable but determined. “It is not I who defines her actions as treacherous. She does that by pitting herself against us.”
“If she was with child and wanted the food for her baby,” Alaric added, “or sick and needed extra sustenance, or any of a dozen other justifiable reasons for needing extra food, then it would not be treachery and executions that we speak of. Rowena chose this battleground for herself.”
“We are not at war here!” Diana cried.
“No?” Alaric asked. His brow lifted questioningly.
The aching tiredness Diana had felt since setting out for home from Eboracum congealed into a fully-fledged exhaustion. She closed her eyes for a brief moment of respite. “I cannot kill someone, even one who fights against us in an undisguised battle of survival.” She opened her eyes again.
This time she had no trouble identifying the sad empathy in Alaric’s eyes. “You have to make a decision, Diana. You and you alone, must choose.”
She looked at the others. They were watching her with stony faces, looking to her for justice.
“Sosia, get supper on the table. Let everyone eat well and try to put this behind them. At least now we will not suffer any more unexpected deprivations.”
“Yes, my lady,” Sosia murmured and moved to the door.
“Diana?” Alaric asked.
“I can’t make this decision right now,” Diana told him. “I must think about it.”
“Don’t leave the decision too long undone,” he said, “For that is a decision in itself.”
* * * * *
They were assembled in the courtyard, facing the pale sky to the east. It was a cloudless sky overhead and it was shot blood red, which seemed appropriate to Diana. She huddled in her cloak.
From the last room on the east wing of the house came a slow procession—Rhys and Griffin, with Rowena shackled between them and Alaric leading the way to the large block of wood that stood on a bare patch of ground between the house and the oak tree. Rowena wore white and her hair was loose like a maiden’s. She looked neither left nor right. There was still no sign of repentance or sorrow. Even her fear had vanished.
The crowd around the block separated, creating a corridor for the procession to move through. As soon as the four had passed by the crowd pressed in behind them, eager for a view.
At the block, Griffin and Rhys refastened Rowena’s shackles so that her hands were behind her back. She was pressed to her knees in front of the block.
Alaric appeared unexpectedly at Diana’s side.
“Here,” he said and thrust a staff into her hands. Diana looked to the top of the staff. It was a double-sided axe and the edges were silvery gray and glittered in the first rays of dawn.
“Me?” Diana said. “I must do this?”
“It was yo
ur choice,” he told her. “Hurry up. We’re all waiting, can’t you see?”
Diana moved toward the block, carrying the axe with her. Rowena was watching her.
“You have to put your head down,” Diana told her.
“It is already lower than yours,” Rowena answered. “Hurry up. I’m waiting.”
“We’re waiting!” everyone echoed.
Diana hefted the axe and turned back to the block. But Rowena was gone. Now it was Minna kneeling at the block. Standing over her was a large, frightening shadow.
“Hurry up!” The deep guttural voice boomed from the middle of the shadow. “I’m waiting.”
Diana felt herself go cold. She knew this shadow. She had met it before.
“Minna! Hurry up! Come here!” it boomed, the volume ebbing and rising in waves.
Diana felt herself start to tremble. It was cold, so cold. From far away came the sound of water running and running, endlessly running away…
“Diana!”
The hand was on her shoulder and she could feel his hot breath on her cheek, blowing against it rapidly, in and out. He was pushing at her.
The fear rose above the edge of containment. It spilled over her, covering everything, even thought itself. Her body reacted to the fear, galvanized itself, hitting out with terror-induced power.
“Diana, no!” came the startled response.
She was enveloped in warmth and this time she smelt a familiar scent. Rough wool under her hands. The eddies of air against her skin. It was then she knew she was awake.
But it was already too late, she could feel herself falling, still wrapped in warmth but falling.
She cried out and it was muffled. Then came the impact. But it was buffeted by the slightly yielding object beneath her.
There came a breathless groan against her cheek.
Diana felt her breath catch. Surely not…
“Diana?” Alaric’s voice.
She was lying on top of him and both of them were on the floor of the library. She had been dreaming. Again.
Horrified, Diana tried to pull away, to get to her feet and she discovered his arms were around her. They were the warmth that she had felt just after she had begun to wake. At her movement the arms tightened, keeping her still.
“Diana, are you awake?”
“Yes.” Her voice emerged as a dry croak.
“You were dreaming,” he said. “You hit out at me.”
“Yes.” It was all she could manage, for the cold had settled into her bones now and would sap her of strength for the next little while. It was too late to hide it from Alaric.
“You’re shaking!”
Diana clenched her teeth against the bone-jarring tremors.
“Gods above!” Alaric murmured. She felt all the muscles she was resting against flex together and she was lifted up into a sitting position. “Wait,” he told her. Warm wool was draped around her shoulders, redolent of the scent that was so uniquely Alaric’s. She clutched at the cloak, drawing it tight around her.
His hands were rubbing her arms, her back, imparting their own warmth but it was futile against the bone-deep chill that racked her.
He cursed under his breath and she heard a soft sound. Then she was lifted and placed on Alaric’s lap. His arms were around her, holding her against him, keeping her warm.
Diana wasn’t sure how long the cold held its grip on her. All she was aware of was Alaric’s heat stealing through her body, attacking the tremors one small front at a time, until finally they departed and she sat quiescent, utterly drained and resting against his chest.
In all that time Alaric spoke not a single word.
He seemed to recognize when she had recovered for he said quietly, “It has let you go now?”
“I’ll get up—’
“Don’t rush,” he said quickly. “Take what time you need.”
Gratefully, she let herself fall back against his chest. It was soft and warm, but just underneath the softness she could feel the solid wall of bone and muscle. As he moved—little movements—she felt the muscles themselves turn to hard mounds.
“That must have been quite a dream,” he remarked.
“Did I hurt you?”
He gave a dry silent laugh that pushed his chest against Diana’s shoulder. “No, you didn’t hurt me.”
“But I tried to attack you, you said.”
“You tried but I’ve faced more powerful enemies than you before now.”
“Oh.”
“Why aren’t you in bed?” he asked.
“Why should I be?”
”It’s late—I was surprised to even find you here.”
“You came to the library hoping I would not be here?”
”You were asleep with your head on the desk. Did you plan to stay there all night?”
“All night?”
“The wick in the lamp is new—it was changed barely an hour ago. You wouldn’t do that unless you planned to be here for some time. Were you?”
“I wasn’t sleeping…” Diana began.
“Tonight? Or every night? It seems to me that you nearly live in this room. If you are not out upon the estate somewhere I am assured of finding you here.”
“I don’t sleep well,” Diana explained again.
“Ever?”
“Not lately. Why did you come here, if you didn’t expect to find me here?”
“Wait.”
Diana felt Alaric’s right shoulder move and his long hard fingers were under her chin, lifting her face. He leaned back so that he could meet her gaze. His eyes were as black as a moonless night and their shadows hid as much as night too.
“Where is your bedchamber?” he asked. “This wing is on the far side of the villa from the private rooms, yet I’ve never managed to arrive here earlier than you.”
Diana tried not to drop her gaze beneath his suspicious stare. “That is certainly no concern of yours.”
“Gods above! You don’t have a bed. You sleep here.”
“I told you I don’t sleep well.”
“No one would sleep well without a bed, even one of those high unforgiving platforms that you Romans favor. You must sleep sometimes. What do you do then? Sleep at the desk as I found you?”
Diana couldn’t help herself. Her gaze flicked toward the wide stool placed strategically close to the hypocaust vent and the folded blanket resting over one of the outward curving arms.
Alaric swiveled to track the direction of her look. He stared at the seat. “You sleep on that?”
“I don’t like to sleep too long. I can curl up on the seat.”
His expression of disbelief unnerved her. Diana lifted herself from his lap and began to pick up the books and writing implements that had been scattered across the tiles by her violent awakening.
“What were you dreaming about?”
A black nameless shadow formed in her mind, along with the touch of the accompanying coldness. Diana pushed the thought away. “Rowena,” she told Alaric.
“Yes, I thought you might be.”
“Is that why you came here? To see if I had come to a decision?” She dumped the books on the desk and turned to face him.
He crossed his arms. “Or to help you make one if you hadn’t.”
“How could you advocate execution? You knew no one had considered Rowena’s sins in that light until you spoke of it, not even your own men. Now they want her blood and nothing less. How could you even suggest such a thing?”
At the corner of his jaw, a muscle jumped. “I was reminded today that my duty lies with Arthur. Rowena threatened that duty by jeopardizing the survival of my men. I only suggested what would be summarily delivered in Arthur’s camp.”
The Bishop, Diana thought. The Bishop had ridiculed him and made light of his allegiance to Arthur. That was what had caused him to fall back into his relentless role as commander and trustworthy soldier.
“Executing the daughter of a pair of Saxon slaves will not assist you in your duties to
the Pendragon,” she pointed out.
“But it will remove any further threat to my men.”
“So would banishment. You threw your lot in with us the day your men began to work on the estate. Do you not think it is a little late to play the unswervingly dutiful lieutenant?”
Alaric’s jaw clenched tightly. After a moment he growled, “That is my penance to face. The welfare of my men comes before my duty.” He moved closer to her. “If any of my men questioned my duty or decisions, they would be dealt with severely.”
A cold hand clamped Diana’s stomach. She tried to ignore the fear. Alaric would not hurt her. Surely not. “I am not one of your men.” Her voice was a mere whisper compared to Alaric’s rolling announcement.
He moved closer still. “This is why I give you a little latitude.” Closer still. Diana swayed backward and tilted her head back so that she could see his face. “Don’t ever question my loyalty again.” Each word fell into the silence between them with perfect clarity.
Diana swallowed. “I was not questioning your loyalty. I was pointing out that to achieve all you must here you have had to travel a strange route indeed, especially for one such as yourself, whose ambitions were once very clear and simple.”
“My ambitions have not changed.”
“But the path to them is complex and indirect. You think this has not changed you or your ambitions, warrior?”
“No,” he said, his voice low and firm but Diana saw his gaze cut away from her.
“I do not believe you.”
“Believe what you will. It is of no consequence to me.”
“On the contrary.” Diana smiled. “You think Minna has not shown me the toy you made for her? Do you think I haven’t watched you watching all of us, scheming to make the estate work, hauling wood to the furnaces at night to save the young boys the task?”
The muscle in the corner of his jaw flexed mightily. “My lady,” he said and his voice was thick with anger. “I have indulged you on this subject for too long.”
“Why are you afraid to admit it? What is wrong with caring about other people?”
“Diana…” It was a low rumbled warning.
“What is wrong with admitting that you care about us?”
Diana by the Moon Page 16