“Stop. Just stop. It doesn’t matter. My mama died. You left. I’m feeling so many things, too many things.” She shook her head and wiped away tears. “I’m pregnant, Enzo. That’s the only thing that matters right now. The only thing you need to know.”
—
Enzo couldn’t say anything because the ability to put two words together had left him. So many thoughts passed through his mind in that moment. “This is where you say something,” she told him, but he just continued to stare at her, through her, his mind processing things.
The sound of the door closing as she got out of the car snapped him out of his haze. He got out of the car and ran to her. “Damn it. I’m sorry. Just give me a minute.”
She opened the door to her apartment, and he was grateful she didn’t slam it in his face. He closed it behind her and followed her to the kitchen, where she filled a large cup with water and drank it. “Have to keep hydrated,” she said by way of explanation.
“Is that why you were in the hospital? Dehydration?”
“Yeah. Stress. Dehydration.”
“Are you okay, Jamie Lynn? When Frances told me you were in the hospital I went crazy with worry, and then when I heard about your mother…”
“Yes, I’m fine. The baby’s fine. I have to make an appointment with the ob-gyn at some point soon, though.”
“I didn’t ask sooner because I didn’t know how to ask. We were in a bad place, but you have to know I was thinking about it. I would never have abandoned you or the baby. I thought I made that clear before I left.”
“I know that. It’s fine. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure about the pregnancy until yesterday when I was in the hospital.” She pulled up a chair and sat down, and he followed suit, bringing the chair close to her but careful not to touch her. He wasn’t sure where they stood.
“Jamie Lynn, I’m so sorry about your mom. Is there anything you need?” he said, and she shook her head. “And the baby…?”
Her eyes widened incredulously. “I’m keeping him!” Her hands went protectively around her flat belly, and his heart swelled. This woman—his woman—was going to be such a great mother. “You don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to, but I’m not giving him up.”
He reached for her hand and kissed the top of her knuckles. “I didn’t mean that, sweetheart. I meant, is there anything you need right now? I will be involved in his or her life, and yours too. But you mentioned that you’ve been tired. I can help. Maybe you can take some time off work and—”
“No. I’m fine, Enzo. People get pregnant all the time. I’m not sick.” She yawned. “I am tired, though. It’s been a very long day.”
“Have you had an ultrasound? You keep saying ‘him.’ I thought it was too early.”
“It is too early for an ultrasound. But it’s a boy. I feel it.” She yawned again.
“I don’t want to leave just yet. I feel like we have so much to say,” he said.
“Do we? My mom died. I’m pregnant. I’m keeping him. Nothing else, really,” she replied with another yawn. He stood and pulled her up and walked her to her room.
“There’s so much more to talk about, Jamie Lynn. But rest now. We’ll talk later.”
—
Enzo paced around her house in a slight state of panic. Never had he felt so lost and out of control. On one hand, he knew without a doubt that he was in love with Jamie Lynn, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to marry a woman just because she was pregnant. He didn’t want her to feel trapped into being with him. But it was taking everything he had not to pack her up and move her in with him and never let her go. His parents were cold toward each other. He’d had a marriage that had essentially been one of convenience. People in his life were proper and practical. They thought things out and made decisions based on what society dictated as being correct.
Jamie Lynn wasn’t like that at all. She said whatever was on her mind, not caring whether it was rude or proper, because everything she said and did came from an organic place. It didn’t come from a place where logic and sensibility ruled. It came from her heart and was said or done because it was something she felt deeply. She was mindful of others’ feelings and treated everyone as if they were special. She was also selfless and kind, and these were all traits he wanted for his child.
But she had been hurt before and there was a fortress around her heart. She could love others openly but had trouble letting others love her. She was independent and a survivor in the truest sense of the word. She didn’t need him, and that was what scared him most. He needed to make her understand that while she might not need him, she did, in fact, want him. She had to want him, because, damn, he wanted this baby with her. He wanted so many things with her.
He made a call to his office to see if there had been any changes on the proposals for the Design District, but there had been no news.
The restless energy was killing him. He unloaded her dishwasher, then cleaned up the kitchen. When he was done with that, he began to organize all the paints and canvases in her spare room because he didn’t know what the hell else to do. He even sat with Bird and tried to pet it, only to find that Bird didn’t want anything to do with him, making it known by letting loose a tirade of curses.
The only thing Enzo did know, without a doubt, was that he was not ready to leave Jamie Lynn alone. Not now. Not ever again.
Chapter 19
Enzo hovered for the next week. He was always just…there. She moped around, eating, sleeping, and then sleeping some more. Never before had she felt such sadness. But he didn’t leave her side. They hadn’t had one real conversation, but just the fact that he’d stayed made her feel better.
“Honey, you need to get your ass out of bed!” She recognized Francesca’s Brazilian accent immediately. She pulled the blanket over her head and felt the dip in her bed as someone sat down.
“Come on, JL. I know you’re grieving, but you have to get up. It’s been over a week and you haven’t left this house once. Enzo and Travis are worried, and so am I.” It was Violet.
“Come have a drink with us,” Jessica said. “Get dressed and unwind a little. You need to get out of the house.”
“I can’t drink,” JL mumbled from under the blanket.
Francesca pulled the covers off JL. “What?”
JL looked around at the four faces staring back at her: Violet, Francesca, Chrissy, and Jessica.
Chrissy winked at her, giving her the courage to finally say it out loud. “I’m pregnant.”
Jessica and Francesca’s eyes widened, and Violet’s filled with tears. “Don’t you dare cry, Vi,” JL warned.
But it was too late—her sentimental best friend’s chin quivered. “I’m so happy for you.” She hugged JL tightly. “You’re going to be the best mom, I just know it.”
“You’re happy about this, right?” Jessica, the practical one, asked.
“I don’t know if happy is the word I’d use. I’m more like nervous and scared. It’s unexpected.”
“But you’re keeping the baby?” Chrissy asked.
“Yes,” she said with absolute certainty, because there was no other option. Even scared, she’d love the baby and do everything for him that her mother never had.
“And how are you feeling?” Chrissy asked.
“Tired. Queasy.”
Francesca pointed to the Batman boy shorts that peeked out from the hem of JL’s matching Batman camisole. “And someone actually fucked you in those?”
“They’re cute,” Violet said.
“Listen, ladies, we are in our thirties. We aren’t eighteen-year-old frat boys. Batman doesn’t say sexy.”
“I think it does,” Violet replied defensively.
“Enzo didn’t seem to mind,” JL added.
“Aha!” Jessica pointed a finger. “It was Enzo who knocked you up.”
JL threw a pillow at Jessica. “Of course. Who the hell else did you think it was, Sherlock Holmes?”
“I don’t know. Guess th
at makes sense.”
“And what’s going with you two now? He okay with the baby situation?” Francesca asked.
“We haven’t really talked about it. He hasn’t left my side, though. He says he wants to be involved.”
“But are you guys together?” Violet asked.
“I don’t know, and honestly, I’m too tired and overwhelmed to have that conversation.”
“I’m ordering some food, and you’re going to get dressed and meet us in your living room,” Violet said.
“Fine,” JL huffed, but secretly she was grateful for her friends. “Is Enzo here?”
“No, he had to run some errands. He asked me to come watch you, so I brought reinforcements.” Violet pointed to the other women.
“I’m just going to say this one thing. If you wore a sexy red thong instead of that ridiculous Batman underwear, you’d have no problem knowing Enzo’s intentions. True story,” Frances said as she pulled JL up and shuffled her to the bathroom with a chuckle.
It was nice to spend the day vegging out by the television with good food from a local fish market while watching romantic comedies. The girls teased JL for reciting the words to the two movies she’d forced them to watch. Before they all left, Francesca took JL aside. “Just wanted to say that Enzo may be my cousin, but we didn’t grow up the same way. My father was very loving to me, but Enzo never had that. He hasn’t had it easy. His parents are assholes. My uncle, especially, is a dick. His parents’ marriage, a lot like his own marriage with that bitch Marianna, was more of a business transaction than a relationship. He wants to make everyone happy instead of himself, which is why he married that woman, why he went to business school, why he never seriously pursued MMA. I think this thing between you two may be the first time he’s seen what a real relationship is and what truly caring for another person is all about. All I’m saying is, be patient with him. He’s a good man, loyal to a fault. Trust him to do the right thing.”
“I know, Frances. It’s just been a lot to absorb in a very short time, but I do understand what you’re saying. Thanks for being on his side. He probably needs people on his team if his parents are such jerks.”
After all her friends had left, she called Jonah about going out to paint that day and then called Patsy and agreed to go into work the next day. It was time to start living again. Moping around all the time wouldn’t do her any good, and she needed to be strong for herself and for her baby.
—
Enzo had been in conference all morning, and finally—finally!—it seemed as though things would work out. Rommel had called a meeting with a separate group of moneymen who liked Enzo’s new urban proposal, and they were going to buy out his father’s original contract from right under his nose. It was an underhanded move on Enzo’s part, but his father had left him no other choice.
He looked at his phone, and there was a message from Jamie Lynn. Feeling better. Going to paint.
Once he was finished with work he ran to the nearest hardware store, bought a bunch of items, and drove to the Walls just as she was pulling up. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I want to tell you not to do this because you’re still too tired. But I haven’t liked seeing you in bed and I know you’re going to fight me anyway, so instead I brought supplies.”
She smiled brightly and looked inside the bag he handed her. “Gloves? A mask? No, let me rephrase it—a crazy Bane from Batman mask.”
“I’ve seen your PJs.”
“Enzo…,” she whined.
“It’s the best they had, and it’ll keep the baby safe from all those fumes. Please, just indulge me.”
She rolled her eyes, but he couldn’t help notice the big grin on her face. “Yes, of course I’ll wear it. Thank you.”
“Anything for you.” He kissed her cheek. “I also made sure that no cop will bother you all anymore.”
“Thanks, Enzo. That means a lot.”
“You sure you’re ready for this?”
“I am. I need to get out of my head, and this is the best way. I want to lose myself in this wall for the next few hours.”
“I’m going to the Academy for a bit. I’ll bring you food at your apartment.”
She kissed his cheek and turned toward the group of friends who were parking their cars.
Since arriving back at Tarpon Springs last week, Enzo had been working out daily, and an hour into his workout he still couldn’t believe how great the day had turned out. His girl was out of the house, the Walls would be saved, and he was at the gym in the middle of the day. “I can tell you trained while you were away,” Tony said as he ducked out of the way of Enzo’s kick.
“Yes. Every day. I’m serious this time. I want to fight. Not just to win, but because I enjoy the sport. I haven’t enjoyed much in the last thirty years, but now I’ve realized what’s important.”
“That’s good, man. Glad to hear it,” Tony said as they continued to spar. “You may just have a chance at that win if you keep it up.”
“Hope so,” Enzo said breathlessly.
“Let’s switch,” came a now familiar voice from the other side of the cage.
“Iggy, didn’t know you were in town!” Tony said.
“Yeah, had a few things to take care of.” He opened the cage and walked in. “Mind if we go a few rounds? Think you can take me?”
“Hell yeah. With all the metal you’re sporting, it’s like fighting with Iron Man,” Enzo teased.
Iggy put his gloves down, and his face changed from that of a happy-go-lucky jokester to the visage of a forlorn and offended man.
“Too soon, Enzo. You can’t insult a man who lost a leg defending your country. What kind of asshole are you? Not cool. Iron Man? Are you a bigot?”
Enzo’s face heated, and he wished the ground would swallow him up.
Iggy hooted loudly. “Oh my God, I wish you could see your face right now. You look mortified! I was just fucking with you!”
“You’re a dick,” Tony said to Iggy from behind them, but he was chuckling.
“You really are,” Enzo agreed.
“Come on, Pretty Boy. Take your best shot.” Iggy arrogantly held his arms out, and Enzo took the opportunity to land a punch right in Iggy’s gut.
By the time Enzo returned back to Jamie Lynn’s apartment it was almost six in the evening. “Don’t you work anymore?” She’d noticed his workout clothes as soon as he walked through the door.
He shrugged dismissively. “You look better.”
“Yeah. I bathed,” she said, looking inside the bags of food he’d brought with him.
“I was about to tell you something about the smell in the house,” he teased her. “I think getting out of the house did you good. Brought you some soup from EE’s Diner.”
“Yum,” she said as she served herself. “How’s the training coming along?”
“Great. You going to come watch me fight?”
“Of course.” She took a sip of soup. “I’m going to work tomorrow.”
He had been afraid of this. “Jam—”
“Don’t.” She put her hand up. “I appreciate you being here and helping, but I need to get dressed and get out of this house every day and start doing normal things. Painting today was a great start, but I need to work too. I can’t just sit around all day gestating and crying.”
Enzo snorted. “I don’t want you sitting around crying, either, although I do want you to feel better. You don’t have the energy to work at a bar yet.”
“Yes, I do,” she said. “I’m only going back for a few hours a day until I have more energy. Staying home is depressing me. All I do is think about my mother and all the things that I wish I had said. All the regrets. Then I get angry at all the things she made me go through and it’s just…well, it’s depressing. I miss my mom, then I don’t, then I do again. Plus, I’m all hormonal. It’s too many things floating around in my head. I just think that work is step one in feeling better.”
He exhaled loudly. “I’m
in awe of you, sweetheart.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he held his hand out to quiet her. “Don’t. You don’t have to say anything. I know I screwed up. I don’t even know if you want the same things I do. I’m sorry I lied to you, but I fixed things. Today I got the news I’ve been waiting for, and everything is going to be okay with the Walls, but I can’t undo what I already did. I know it’s my fault you were arrested, and I know that the things Marianna said were unforgivable. But I’m going to do everything I can to show you that I’m not that guy—the guy who’ll steamroll your feelings, the guy who puts business over his heart.” He lifted a shoulder, then dropped it. “When you’re feeling better, when you’re up to it, I’d like to try again. I want to be those people who didn’t leave the house for four days because we were so happy together. I’ll wait as long as you need. I just wanted to tell you that. Been meaning to say it since I came back.”
“I think I want that too. I just need to get a handle on my emotions first. I don’t want this to be about the baby or my grief. I want to be with you because I want to be with you, not because of circumstances. Thank you for not leaving. I’m sure you’re dying to get back home and back to your life and out of this tiny apartment.”
He smiled sweetly and cupped her face with one of his hands, his thumb moving back and forth along her cheekbone. “I’m right where I’m meant to be. You and the baby are my life.” He kissed her nose, then left to do the dishes.
Chapter 20
Another week rolled by. Enzo continued to stay with JL, sleeping on the sofa, making sure she was fed and rested. She had gone back to work on a part-time basis only and was starting to feel a little less tired. Every day she went to the Walls to paint, but she never let him go with her because she said she wanted it to be a surprise.
Even though she seemed to have gotten over their financial disparity and Enzo was still on a mission to show Jamie Lynn how much he’d changed, that didn’t mean he still didn’t worry about her. She was working tonight, more hours than usual, due to a party Patsy was throwing for the bar’s fiftieth anniversary. She was going to be on her feet for too many hours in a smoky bar while still feeling tired. But she was such an independent woman that she’d be mad if she thought he was checking up on her, which was exactly what he was doing.
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