Skin and Bones
Page 18
“Eating an apple fills me up,” he told his sister one afternoon. “And being full makes me feel fat.”
“Do you want to throw up?” she asked.
“No.”
“Power down laxatives?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Do jumping jacks in the middle of the night?”
“I have a stash of red M&Ms in my nightstand,” he admitted.
Jill punched him playfully in the arm. “Cut yourself some slack, weirdo,” she said with a crooked smile. “It’s not like you’re still wearing those dumb gloves!”
True.
And he hadn’t missed an outpatient meeting since checking out of the program a month ago. He’d even gotten together with some of the ex-patients away from the hospital. Sometimes they went to the movies as a group; other times they hung out at Julia’s house playing Story Cubes or Bananagrams.
Bones tried not to call Nancy more than twice a week. She usually called back within an hour. His questions were always in the same desperate tone. “Have you heard anything about Alice? Has she woken up yet?”
“Sorry, she’s still in a coma,” Nancy said the first time he called. Her voice quivered. But the next time she answered his questions with a steady patience.
“Is it like being asleep or unconscious?” he’d asked.
“There’s some level of consciousness as long as she’s breathing.”
“Can she hear people in her room?”
“We assume a person in a coma can hear,” she’d said. “Hearing is usually the last sensory faculty to go.”
“There isn’t anything new,” Nancy said the last time. “Except her parents transferred her to a hospital out of state that specializes in comatose care.”
Bones concentrated to slow his breathing. “If they’re experts, then they’ll be able to help her, right?”
Her pause crackled through the airwaves. When she spoke it sounded like her heart was crumbling onto the cold linoleum floor. “The longer she’s unconscious, the worse the prognosis,” she said softly. “Sorry, I wish it were different.”
For the first time since Bones left the hospital he wanted to lock himself in his room and exercise until he passed out. And that’s what he told Lard the next afternoon when Lard picked him up in the Doodle. He was doing fifty in a thirty-five zone. Music engulfed the car like Alice was controlling the radio.
“You think I haven’t wanted to order a dozen pizzas in the middle of the night?” Lard said. “Scarf them down alone in the dark in front of the Food Channel?”
“You still think about that?”
Lard shot him a look. Then he reached into the ashtray and pulled out a roach, twisting the tiny end like he was strangling it. “Let’s face it, man. Some days are just not all that great. You know why I don’t call nine-one-one-PIZZA? Because everything doesn’t have to be a fucking soap opera. Sometimes a person just has to work things out on his own.”
“I still love her.” Bones had to say it, because Lard was the only person who truly understood what had gone on in the hospital. Though sometimes he wondered if he ever really knew Alice or the world she’d created for herself where decisions were made without regard to consequences.
“Do you ever think—” Bones paused, pulling the seatbelt away from his chest, letting it slap back with force, hating the universe for making it impossible to undo the past. “What will happen if she doesn’t wake up?”
Lard hit the brakes and turned into a gravel parking lot.
“Yeah, man. She’ll be dead.”
Thanks.
“I’m going to keep calling Nancy,” Bones said. “And finish writing CRAP. I’m going to come up with an ending that’ll give life to that dark place Alice is in now.”
Lard turned off the engine, grabbed his keys, and grunted his way out of the front seat. “Ducks are waiting.”
Bones picked up the bag of stale bread and followed Lard, weaving around families who were squeezing out the last days of summer barbequing, tossing Frisbees, playing horseshoes.
Teresa waved from a picnic table where she sat with Julia and Ramon.
Lard waved back. “She’s one of the reasons I can’t be a self-centered asshole the rest of my life.”
Bones got it.
Julia scooted off the bench and he took in the picture: her shredded jean skirt and a tank top the color of a raspberry snow cone. She limped awkwardly down the path toward them. “Guess what?” she asked, all smiles.
Bones noticed right away, but he couldn’t say it. There was too much below the surface of what he was seeing.
“Ditched the walker,” she said, impatient for an answer.
Bones clutched the bag of bread and pushed ahead of Lard. Halfway to the table he let the bag fly.
Julia caught it mid-air and took aim back at him. “Ready?”
“Yeah.” He was ready.
From Lard’s New Cookbook: Dishwasher Salmon
Ingredients:
4 (6-oz.) salmon fillets
4 Tbsp. freshly squeezed lime juice
1 Tbsp. olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Directions:
Cut two 12-inch square sheets of heavy-duty aluminum foil.
Grease the shiny side of the foil with oil. Place two fillets side by side on each square and fold up the outer edges.
Drizzle 1 Tbsp. lime juice over each fillet. Season with salt and pepper.
Fold and pinch the aluminum foil to create a watertight seal around each pair of fillets.
Place fish packets on the top rack of dishwasher.
Run packets through the entire wash-and-dry cycle, approximately 50 minutes.
When the cycle is complete, invite friends into the kitchen and ask them to take their dinner out of the dishwasher.
The Truth about Eating Disorders
The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness states:
Eating disorders currently affect approximately 25 million Americans, in which 25% are men.
Anorexia is the third-most common chronic illness among adolescents.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
According to the National Association of Anorexia
Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD):
The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of all causes of death for females 15–24 years old.
Ninety-five percent of those with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25.
Five to ten percent of anorexics die within ten years after contracting the disease; 18–20% of anorexics will be dead after twenty years; only 50% ever fully recover.
For help:
The ANAD website (www.anad.org) lists eating disorder support groups by state. A free brochure, “How to Help a Friend,” is also available to download.
The ANAD helpline (630-577-1330) is open Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m. central time. ANAD also has an email address, anadhelp@anad.org.
Additional resources:
The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
The National Association for Males with Eating Disorders Inc. (NAMED)
namedinc.org
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2014 by Sherry Shahan
Cover design by Nick Tiemersma
978-1-4804-7558-8
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