by Holly Rayner
“Yeah,” she said, “a stronger one than I’d like to.”
“There’s nothing wrong with indulging,” Ali said, and the tone of his voice said he spoke about more than dessert.
Alyssa gulped, her knees shaking. It had been something like twenty-four hours since she’d last kissed Ali, and every cell in her body screamed to be touched by him. It was hard to believe she’d sworn him off only that morning.
She felt weak for waffling, and knowing that made her dislike herself even more. But she was only human, and what girl in their right mind would have been able to say no to a suave, handsome sheikh?
She’d promised Lucy she would talk to Ali about the whole check thing, but then they’d gotten to the pub and he hadn’t introduced her as his fiancée, and Alyssa’s resentment had melted away. As dinner went on, their time together became more and more enjoyable. Alyssa didn’t want to ruin that with the whole money conversation.
But what was he thinking about it? Had he noticed she hadn’t deposited the check? Did he take her silence on the matter as a sign that she was fine with the money?
Alyssa wanted to bring it up, but they were ordering cupcakes that looked like they’d been made in Candyland, and they were taking a seat at a little table in the corner, and they were sipping espresso, and Ali was holding out a forkful of chocolate mousse cupcake for her to try, and Alyssa was having one of the best nights of her life…
And she just couldn’t. Say. A. Thing.
“Oh my God,” Alyssa moaned. She savored the chocolate cupcake like it was the first time she’d ever had sugar.
“It’s delicious,” Ali agreed. “And yours?”
“Try for yourself,” Alyssa said, cutting off a piece of her strawberry daiquiri cupcake. She held the fork up and Ali took the bite, his eyes on her the whole time.
Heat shot through Alyssa, and she nearly dropped the fork. Clearing her throat and averting her eyes, she took a sip of espresso.
Behind them, the bell on the door rang as people came in and out, leaving with boxes of cookies and cakes or lattes in paper cups. At their little table, Alyssa and Ali fell into a comfortable silence as they enjoyed their dessert and people watched. Every movement Ali made drew Alyssa’s gaze, from the crossing of his legs to the way his little finger twitched when he picked up his espresso cup. The man was a magnet pulling Alyssa’s attention, and she was helpless to stop it.
“I love it here,” she said, more out of a need to get her mind off of Ali’s hotness than anything else. “When I was younger, I used to dream of owning a place like this.”
“When you were younger?” Ali teased. “You’re young now.”
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Twenty-seven doesn’t feel that young.”
“Try being thirty-one and having nothing to show for your life.”
Alyssa’s espresso cup stopped halfway to her mouth, and she stared at Ali over its ceramic rim. “You’re joking.”
“Why would I joke about that?”
Alyssa put the espresso cup down, working to make sense of what she’d just heard. “You’re a sheikh. I know you’re not an official ruler or anything, but you must have some kind of clout.”
Ali’s shoulders heaved with a sigh. “Yes. That’s true. My family’s success in the business world is directly connected with our position in a ruling family. I will not deny that. So, it is not for lack of resources that I have reached this age without having achieved anything worth mentioning.”
“What’s the cause, then?” Alyssa asked.
Ali spread his hands. “Chasing the wrong things. I came to America to escape my parents, to escape tradition. I chased everything pleasurable I could get my hands on. If money could buy it, I was after it.” He paused. “Until recently.”
At the mention of everything “pleasurable”, Alyssa had blushed. Were women included in that list? How much did Ali date? And was he interested in starting a relationship with someone? Alyssa sure was.
Especially if that someone was Ali.
“And what turned things around?” Alyssa asked, hardly daring to breathe. Ali was opening up to her in a raw way. Such honesty was rare to observe in anyone.
“I suppose…” His gaze became unfocused, and he stared off into space. “I started running out of material goods to acquire and thrills to reach. I saw how empty all of that was.” He looked to Alyssa with a shrug.
“So, what does have what you want?” Alyssa asked.
Ali laughed and shook his head. “I wish it was that simple.”
“Yeah.” She grinned wryly. “Same here.”
“Making a real difference might do it,” Ali said. “Or even just finding my own place in the world.”
Alyssa ran her fingertip around the rim of her espresso cup. Her cupcake lay half eaten. Normally, she would have devoured it like no one’s business, but now she found her appetite had vanished.
“And your place in the world isn’t Baqar?” she asked.
“My family is there, but there’s something missing.” Ali clicked his tongue. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to make the conversation so heavy. Tell me about your work.”
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “That’s not gonna make the conversation any less heavy.”
“I know you don’t like it, that you want to do something else. But what?”
“Didn’t we already talk about this?” Alyssa asked.
“I want to hear more,” Ali said.
“Okay, well…the work is decent. It sucks being inside all day, though, and law firms are notorious for their long hours.”
“And if you were to do anything else, you really do not know what it would be?”
Alyssa chewed her bottom lip. “No. That sucks, doesn’t it? All I know is that I would want to do something that has me moving around…something that gets me outside some…something creative. And something that makes people smile.”
“There you go. That’s a list.”
Alyssa laughed. “It’s a long list! And one that most people probably have. Ah…I dunno. What next? If we’re both frustrated, what do we do now?”
They looked into each other’s eyes and the air crackled with a new charge. Alyssa gulped. Had what she just said been super suggestive?
“Keep going,” Ali said. “What else can we do?”
Alyssa frowned. “That doesn’t give me much hope.”
“Perhaps…” Again, Ali’s eyes became unfocused and a thoughtful look passed across his face. “Perhaps if we keep looking, keeping asking, the answers will appear. Eventually.” He smiled, his eyes lighting up the room and melting Alyssa’s heart—even the parts she thought had hardened up long ago.
Oh, man. I’m in trouble.
Alyssa smiled back at him, an influx of emotions competing for dominance. What was happening here? Was she falling in love? So soon?
And with a man who…what? Saw her as a girl to be bought?
Alyssa jammed a forkful of cupcake into her mouth. Just chew. Don’t think.
Sooner or later, they would deal with the check thing. Maybe it would be something they laughed over in a few months, when one of them casually brought it up during a picnic in Central Park or on a day trip to Rockaway Beach. Ali would comment that she never did cash it, and Alyssa would tell him she didn’t want him to think money was what she expected of him, and then they’d laugh about the funny way in which they’d met and snuggle closer on the blanket or under the shade of the umbrella.
Behind Ali, the cashier went to the front door and flipped the sign to “closed”.
“Ready?” Ali asked.
“Ready.” Alyssa smiled.
Out on the street, Ali’s arm brushed against Alyssa’s. Her heart fluttered, and she stepped closer to him, allowing her arm to bump into his again. This time, he took her hand in his.
Happiness swelled in Alyssa, and each step she took felt lighter than the last. She was walking on air, and she never wanted to come down.
On the drive back to her place, though, her
heart started sinking a little. She and Ali had spent two evenings in a row together, but the thought of leaving his side made her ache.
“Where do you live?” Alyssa asked as he pulled up in front of her building. It was weird that she hadn’t thought to ask that yet, but they’d been so busy talking about everything else.
“Close to the pub, in Tribeca,” Ali answered.
“So, we passed your place on the way here?”
“Close to it.” Ali unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face her straight-on. Alyssa’s stomach did a flip. Did he want to be invited up?
Alyssa really, really, really wanted him to come upstairs, but she wouldn’t be able to keep her hands off of him if that happened. And she didn’t want to hurry things. She wanted to take her time with him, make sure they were really comfortable with each other before she let him into her bedroom. She’d rushed things with a few other guys, and in her experience, it only complicated already delicate burgeoning relationships.
“I don’t want to let you go,” Ali said.
Alyssa bit into her smile. “You read my mind.”
Ali cupped her face, and Alyssa closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. When she blinked her eyes open, he was a few inches closer.
“But I don’t think…” Alyssa’s breath caught in her throat.
Ali brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “I like you, Alyssa. To be honest, in the past, I would have jumped to enjoy a night with a beautiful woman such as yourself, and I might have called her after that, and I might have not.”
Alyssa winced. So it was as she thought. Ali was a player.
“But now?” she asked tentatively.
“I’ve felt differently lately,” he said. “I told you that I haven’t been happy, and I want to try a new approach. I want to take my time with you.”
Alyssa’s smile was so big she felt like her face might crack in two. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
“Good.” Ali grinned. “I can kiss you though, right?”
“Please.”
Laughing, Ali tilted his face and gave her a deep, slow kiss that sent tingles into her toes.
As they broke apart, Alyssa breathed in deep, absorbing Ali’s cologne and saving it for later. Maybe, if she was lucky, she would still smell him when she rested her head on her pillow that night.
“I’ll walk you upstairs,” Ali said.
Alyssa laughed. “And park where?”
Ali frowned. “I can leave it here.”
“I don’t want you risking this nice car getting stolen.”
He shrugged like it was no big deal, and Alyssa remembered his talk about material things not bringing him pleasure anymore.
“Good night, Ali.” Alyssa opened her door. The more time she spent with Ali, the harder it became to leave him. If she didn’t get her butt in gear, she would be sitting in his car all night long.
“Good night,” he said. “See you soon?”
“Yes.”
Grinning, Alyssa took her purse and headed inside. The building was quiet, and she realized she had no idea what time it was. The hours just seemed to slide by when she was with Ali.
Closing the door to her apartment, she shrugged off her jean jacket. In the stove’s overhead light, a piece of paper fluttered to the floor. Alyssa’s chest constricted, and she stared at the paper.
No.
Except…yes. Alyssa picked up the check and stared at it. It was another one for two thousand dollars, and Ali must have slipped it into her pocket while they were walking together. Or maybe kissing.
The thought of such an intimate moment being tainted that way made Alyssa simmer with anger. It wasn’t even Sunday brunch yet, and she’d already been paid a total of four thousand dollars for going out with Ali.
She’d been so stupid. How come she hadn’t taken Lucy’s advice and just brought up the issue of the check? Her silence must have been all the confirmation Ali needed: she was a hired woman.
Hot tears rolling down her cheeks, Alyssa dropped the check on the side table and buried her face in her hands. This couldn’t be happening. She’d finally met a guy she connected with, and he saw her as just another thing that could be bought.
But what about everything they’d talked about that night? What about Ali saying he wanted to take things slow with her? Was that all a lie? Was he really not planning on taking things anywhere with her? Was he only stringing her along so that she’d keep agreeing to be his fake fiancée?
Alyssa was tired of the questions. She was tired of the roller coaster of emotions.
And she was going to make sure it all ended.
Chapter 12
Ali
Ali stood in front of Alyssa’s apartment door, his excitement building. He ran his hand over his hair, checking for any flyaways, and finally knocked.
When he’d woken that morning, Alyssa had been the only thing on his mind. He’d tried to talk himself out of inviting her out for the third night in a row. It used to be that Ali would scoff at such a move. Why make yourself look desperate?
But as Ali was discovering, he no longer cared about how things looked. In fact, in analyzing that last belief, he saw how ridiculous it really was. In whose eyes would three dates in one week look pathetic? In the eyes of his New York friends?
When Ali had first arrived in the city, he’d established an always shifting circle of friends. They were men that he’d met at Manhattan’s most exclusive clubs—people who were both new and old money. But money they were.
He’d thought he was growing somewhat close to a few of them, but their unreliability always showed itself in the end. These friends, put in the loosest sense, would make plans and then not show up. They had no sense of obligation or respect. They depended on their money and not much else.
With a fair amount of disgust, Ali was beginning to see he was a lot like them. He’d come to America looking to enjoy the good life; several years in and he had nothing to show for his time there. No sense of community. Nothing he’d given to the world. Instead, much like the men he’d become friendly with at the clubs, he was a taker.
Thinking about it sent self-loathing rolling through Ali. He really needed to branch out and find new people to spend his time with.
People like Alyssa.
Ali smiled at the thought of her, and her apartment door opened as if right on cue.
“Good evening,” Ali said.
Alyssa gave him a smile, but there was no real energy in it. The skin under her eyes was puffy, and her face was pale.
“Come in,” she said, stepping out of the way.
Ali entered the apartment, giving Alyssa a more thorough look-over. In her jeans and T-shirt, she was the most dressed-down he’d ever seen her. He’d texted her early that morning with the proposal for another dinner together. Was she expecting somewhere causal tonight, like the last evening?
If so, Ali could certainly oblige. Anywhere she wanted to go in the city, he would take her.
“These are for you.” Ali extended the red roses.
Alyssa looked at them for a long moment before taking them and setting them on the table by the door. “That’s…thank you. You shouldn’t have done that, though.”
“You don’t like roses?” he asked.
Alyssa laughed dryly. “Who doesn’t like roses?”
Ali shrugged. Something wasn’t right.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked. Stepping closer to Alyssa, he snaked his hand around her waist, but she inhaled sharply and backed away.
Ali’s gut turned to stone. “Alyssa?”
“I, um…I didn’t sleep well.” Hands on her hips, she looked at the floor.
“Mrrow,” Alyssa’s orange cat purred, coming around the couch and looking at Ali with interest.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ali said. “Are you too tired to go out? We can stay in if you wish. Or we can postpone until another night.”
Ali held his breath, hoping she did not choose the last option.
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Alyssa put her hand to her brow and turned away from him. Ali’s heart raced. What was going on here?
“Alyssa?” Ali reached for her, and this time she didn’t pull away, but she also didn’t sink into his embrace.
Alyssa didn’t answer. She had her palms over her eyes, and a few tears ran down her chin.
“Alyssa.” Taking her wrists, Ali gently lowered her hands. “What’s wrong? Please, tell me. You’re worrying me.”
Alyssa sniffled, her eyes darting around the room, looking everywhere but at him. “I can’t see you anymore, Ali.”
The words were a punch to the gut. The air actually rushed out of Ali’s lungs, and all his muscles contracted in pain. Surely he’d heard wrong? He and Alyssa had a real connection. The things they’d spoken about the night before…they were deep. They meant something.
Ali had nothing like that with anyone else. He couldn’t lose her.
“Is this about…” Ali swallowed. He’d been stupid to give her those checks, but at the time, he’d taken her silence over the first one as a sign to slip her another.
“I’m not a paid woman,” Alyssa said, lifting her chin and finally looking him in the eye. Her pursed lips shook with emotion.
Ali stared at her. “I never…thought or said you were.”
Alyssa gave him a withering look. “Oh, come on,” she spat.
Ali sighed and raked his fingers through the hair he had so meticulously combed back. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I should never have given you those checks. I see my error, now.”
Somehow, Alyssa’s jaw tensed even more. “Well, why did you, then?” she demanded.
“I thought…I thought…”
Ali was at a loss for words. He knew how this looked, and even telling Alyssa the truth meant digging himself into a deeper hole. No matter what he said or did, it would look bad.
“I thought you could use the money,” he answered feebly.
Alyssa’s wet lashes fluttered. “Because I live in a one-bedroom apartment? Well, newsflash, Ali, I’m actually doing pretty good for myself. Not everyone grew up in a palace.”
Ali scoffed. “I did not grow up in a palace. I only spent my…holidays…there.” He pressed his lips together hard. He was making everything worse and did not know how to stop himself.