“What are you doing?” Zenovia asked.
“I want to talk to you and Kyle during the movie. Is that cool?”
Zenovia playfully echoed Kyle’s warning: “As long as you keep your hands to yourself.”
“I’ll be good, I promise,” Tristan replied.
Zenovia glanced over her shoulder at Justin. He was now paying close attention to his date. He was telling her something, but Zenovia couldn’t make out the words. Maybe Justin wasn’t thinking about her at all. Maybe it was all in her imagination.
Chapter Five
What do you believe is God’s view of capital punishment?”
Zenovia was unnerved by the question. It wasn’t in any of the baptism study guides that Tristan had given her, but Brother Clark, the regional leader, was waiting patiently for a response.
She drew in a deep breath. “Well, I would think that since God is the creator of life… that He would be against needlessly taking anyone’s life, even a murderer’s.”
Zenovia could tell by Brother Clark’s deep frown and the shifting of his Coke-bottle eyeglasses that she had misspoken. Zenovia looked to Audrey for help, but she shrugged her shoulders cluelessly. Audrey’s questions had been simple things like “What does it mean to be a Christian?” and “Who died for your sins?”
Brother Clark responded. “Turn your Bible to Exodus Chapter Twenty-one, and read Verses Twenty-four and Twenty-five.”
Zenovia bit her lip and turned to the passage. She didn’t see the whole point of interrogating people before they could give their lives to Christ, especially seeing that she and her mother were already Christians.
She read out loud, “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.”
“So you see,” Brother Clark explained, “this scripture is expressing God’s view on justice and retribution. A life for a life.”
Zenovia searched her memory for a verse to counter this, but she could not find one. She asked timidly, “What about mercy?”
“Justice is one of God’s four attributes. He cannot be unjust.”
Zenovia nodded and wondered if her answer would keep her from baptism… and Tristan. But Brother Clark’s face softened. He straightened his glasses with a crooked index finger and smiled at Zenovia.
“Don’t worry, young lady. A lot of people get stumped on that one. As long as you understand.”
“I do understand,” Zenovia replied without missing a beat.
“So it looks like the two of you are going to officially be members of the Brethren of the Sacrifice after Saturday,” declared Audrey’s friend Brother Phillip Sullivan.
Audrey clapped her hands together. “I’m so excited! Aren’t you Zee?”
Zenovia nodded although she was nowhere near as ecstatic as her mother. She did, however, have butterflies in her stomach at the thought of sharing her news with Tristan. He would be beyond happy about her decision to join the Brethren.
Phillip commented, “Zee, you should be just fine as long as you keep yourself chaste. Be careful with the boys from now on. You’re dedicated to God.”
“Okay,” Zenovia replied.
Zenovia was annoyed by the comment that came out of nowhere. Had Phillip already formed an opinion of her? And if he had, what was it based on?
The two men stood to leave the apartment, Brother Phillip lingering a few moments behind the older Brother Clark. When the senior man was safely in the car, Brother Phillip gave Audrey an extra-friendly hug.
The unexpected showing of affection caused a satisfied grin to grace Zenovia’s full lips. She enjoyed seeing her mother have normal human interaction. It helped to know that Audrey could be just like anyone else’s mom.
Zenovia could see why Audrey was so taken with Brother Phillip. He was totally her type; chocolate brown and shiny. His eyes were tiny and slanted, almost Asian-looking and the bulges of his bodybuilder’s physique showed through his ill-fitted suit.
“On Saturday we’re going to take you out to celebrate,” Brother Phillip said.
Audrey smiled. “We who?”
“Me, Charlotte, and Thomas.”
“Why can’t it just be you and me?” Audrey asked, this time coupling her smile with a few affectionate strokes on Phillip’s chest.
Phillip suddenly turned serious. “Because it wouldn’t be proper for us to be seen alone. I know I’ve explained that to you before.”
“Right, right. The chaperone thing. Well, whatever. I’ll see you Saturday.” Audrey’s face was still smiling, but Zenovia knew her well enough to discern the irritation in her tone.
“Bye, Brother Phillip,” Zenovia called as he walked out the door.
Audrey closed the door behind him and then sulked as she headed toward the bedroom they shared.
“He’s a little different, Mom.”
Zenovia couldn’t pinpoint her feeling, but there was something not quite right about Phillip.
“Naw, he ain’t. He’s just fine.”
“Well if he’s fine, what’s wrong with you?”
Audrey snapped. “Nothing! What makes you think something is wrong with me?”
“Because you’re pouting.”
“I ain’t pouting. You don’t know what you’re talking about, but you think you know everything.”
Zenovia did not respond. Audrey stood there, waiting for the retort, but Zenovia refused to oblige her.
After seventeen years of living with Audrey’s illness, Zenovia knew when to leave well enough alone. The medication only subdued the inner demons; it did not eradicate them. They were alive and well, waiting to be unleashed on the unsuspecting.
Zenovia was not the unsuspecting, but Brother Phillip would be.
When it was clear that Zenovia was not up for battle, Audrey moved her sulking to the bedroom. She slammed the door and Zenovia could hear her push a wooden chair under the doorknob, barring her from entry.
Zenovia went into the kitchen, fixed herself a snack of tortilla chips, salsa, and Pepsi, and got comfortable on the couch in front of the television. There would be no visiting with her pillow that night. Audrey would see to it.
She flipped through the channels until she found her favorite show, Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was a repeat, but she did not mind. Captain Picard was her hero and television crush, with his baldheaded self.
The telephone rang just as the captain was about to make his move on Dr. Crusher.
“Hello?” Zenovia said while keeping one ear to her program.
“Hey, Zee. It’s me, Tristan.”
One syllable of Tristan’s almost baritone was enough to snatch Zenovia’s attention away from Captain Picard. “Hey, Tristan.”
“I heard you answered your questions with flying colors. Congratulations.”
Zenovia asked, “How did you know?”
“Brother Phillip called my dad. He’s really happy about your mother. I think he wants to marry her.”
Zenovia sat straight up on the couch, clutching the phone for dear life. “Marry her? I thought he was just attracted to her. He’s only known her for like five seconds, Tristan. He doesn’t know her well enough to marry her.”
“You sound like you don’t want your mother to have a husband.”
“I do. That’s not it at all.”
Tristan prodded, “Then what is it? Do you not want a stepfather? Because Brother Phillip is good people.”
“Are you serious? Brother Phillip seems a little off to me.”
Zenovia had lived around mental illness for long enough to know when someone was a bit touched. In her opinion, Phillip was a little fuzzy around the seams; maybe not as bad off as Audrey, but definitely not normal.
But Zenovia was skeptical of any man who was interested in Audrey. A man couldn’t be in a relationship with Audrey for very long without noticing that something wasn’t right about the woman. If a man continued to see Audrey after a few dates, Zenovia assumed he just wanted to sleep w
ith her or that he was mentally ill himself.
“Zee, you don’t have to worry about him. He’s harmless. So how are we going to celebrate your big day?”
“My big day? Oh, you mean the baptism. I don’t know. My mom is going out with Brother Phillip and your parents, so I guess I’m free.”
“If they’re going out, we can have a get-together over here.”
“When you say ‘we,’ are you just talking about your brother, sister, and Mia?” Zenovia could not help but roll her eyes at the thought of Mia.
“Kyle will be there too.”
“Oh. I forgot about Kyle.”
“Don’t forget about my boy!”
Zenovia was quiet and contemplative as she recalled the vision she’d had about Kyle. She couldn’t forget about the vision even if she wanted to.
“Zee, you still there?” Tristan asked after the silence had carried on for too long.
“Yeah, I’m here. Can I ask you a question?”
“Absolutely.”
“Is everything cool with Kyle? I mean at home and stuff. Is he okay?”
“I think so. What makes you ask that?”
Zenovia sighed. There was a hesitation in Tristan’s tone that told her he was holding something back.
“Nothing,” she replied, “just a feeling that I had.”
“Oh. Well, he’s cool. His dad isn’t around, but other than that he’s good.”
Noises came from the bedroom causing Zenovia to sit up straight on the couch. She released another sigh, this one burdened down with weariness. Audrey was throwing something against the wall, taking her anger out on some innocent, inanimate object.
“Um, Tristan,” she said, “I’ve got to call you back.”
“You cool?”
For a fraction of a second, Zenovia considered sharing the facts about Audrey’s illness with Tristan. The secret was too heavy a load for her to bear alone, and yet she had borne it for seventeen years. But the thought disintegrated as quickly as it had emerged. Tristan was not ready to be her confidante, and she was not ready to share.
“I’m fine, Tristan. I’ll see you Saturday.”
He chuckled. “Not if I see you first.”
Chapter Six
The regional meeting of the Brethren of the Sacrifice was merely a supersize version of their regular meetings. Still no choir, still no “Hallelujahs” and still no giving God the praise. Zenovia had expected so much more.
About midway through the meeting, the people who were going to be baptized were called to stand on the stage. Several of the regional leaders prayed for them one at a time. When it was her turn, Zenovia trembled with fear as she listened to the words of the brief prayer. Then everyone in the room stood to their feet.
The brother who was leading the prayers said into a microphone, “Dear Brethren, these are the newest among us, babes in Christ and babes in their walk. Do you, congregation, accept your role in grooming, preparing, and chastening these newly won souls?”
Everyone responded in unison. “We do.”
The brother turned his attention back to the baptism line. “We, as a joint congregation, accept you into our ranks. We will groom you to meet our savior on earth. We will prepare you for service, and we will chasten you as the Holy Spirit deems necessary, in the name of Jesus.”
“Amen,” chanted the still-standing congregation.
Zenovia felt weak in the knees. What had he meant by “chasten”? She knew what the word meant; it was on her SAT vocabulary list. To punish by suffering.
To punish by suffering?
What place did punishment and suffering have in a baptism ceremony?
Everything in the room went blurry. Her instincts told her that she was making a grave error. Zenovia wanted to run off the stage and right out the door. She wanted to drag the beaming Audrey right along with her. But as she looked into the audience, she saw Tristan’s lovely smile.
The giant red EXIT sign at the rear of the building beckoned to her, but Tristan’s smile made her stay put.
She stayed put, even though the instincts that she’d always trusted told her to run.
Everyone applauded, but Tristan’s seemed more spirited than anyone else’s. The baptism line was then led away, back down a long tunnel. The men and women were separated, and they were given long white robes and white turbans for their heads.
When all of the women were dressed, they were led down another tunnel to an Olympic-size swimming pool. Right outside the pool was a spectator room for the friends and family of those being baptized. Brother Phillip was there, smiling and waving at Audrey. And all of Zenovia’s new friends were there, too; even Alyssa and Mia were beaming with pride and joyousness. Zenovia guessed they all felt partly responsible for helping to shape her decision.
The men filed into the pool room from the other side and were dressed in similar outfits as the women, but without the turbans. Another prayer was said over the group and then each person was baptized one at a time. Zenovia had never heard so many “In the name of the Father, in the name of the Son, and in the name of the Holy Spirits” at one time.
Over two hundred people were baptized as Brethren that day. The sheer numbers eased some of Zenovia’s fears. If nothing else, the Brethren of the Sacrifice were intent on spreading their message. And plenty of people liked what they were hearing.
After the baptism ceremony, Zenovia and the other newly christened Brethren were taken back to the changing room. Audrey’s feet barely touched the ground as they walked. Zenovia watched her with interest and suspicion. She looked for all of the signs that the zone would metamorphose into an episode.
“What are you guys doing for lunch?” As if she sensed Zenovia’s caution, Audrey asked this normal question.
“They’re probably already off eating somewhere. I saw a Burger King across the street. Do you want me to pick you something up?”
She shook her head adamantly. “No. Phillip is waiting for me.”
“That’s nice.”
Zenovia had been mistaken. When she emerged from the changing room, Tristan and Kyle were outside waiting for her. As promised, Brother Phillip was there, too, waiting to whisk her mother away.
“Congratulations!” Tristan exclaimed as Zenovia stepped into plain view.
Tristan grabbed Zenovia’s arm and pulled her into an enthusiastic embrace. Even though he squeezed the breath from her lungs, he still managed to make the hug feel brotherly. That part was disappointing. Zenovia had expected the Red Sea to part the first time she was in his arms.
Kyle also hugged Zenovia, but his was much lower on the Richter scale. His arms barely brushed Zenovia’s shoulders, almost as if he was only halfheartedly mimicking Tristan’s sincere gesture.
“Where are Alyssa and Mia?” Zenovia asked, because she thought it was the polite thing to say, not because she cared.
“They’re off chasing some boys,” Kyle replied.
Zenovia grinned. Mia chasing boys was good news. It meant that she wasn’t chasing Tristan. Not at that moment, anyway.
Tristan asked, “Are you hungry?”
“I suppose so,” Zenovia answered with a shrug.
“Don’t get too excited,” Kyle said. “You might just faint dead away.”
“Faint dead away?” Zenovia giggled. “Man, who talks like that?”
After Kyle was finished scowling and Zenovia and Tristan had composed themselves from their laughter, the three companions stepped out of the nondescript brick building. One whiff of the brisk October air was all Zenovia needed to know that another lovely Cleveland winter was on the way.
She rubbed her arms. “It’s cold out here.”
“Here, take my jacket,” Tristan offered.
Kyle said, “Are you sure you want to do that, bro? Someone might make something of it.”
Tristan had extended the arm that held his jacket, but on hearing Kyle’s words had snapped it back like the neck of a jack-in-the-box. Zenovia didn’t know who these someones w
ere and she didn’t care anything about their somethings. She did care that Kyle was quite earnestly putting figurative salt in her proverbial game.
“Do you want me to go inside and get your sweater?” Tristan asked. Obviously, he cared about the someones.
“No,” Zenovia replied through tight lips. “I’m fine.”
Kyle said, “Okay, then. Let’s go.”
The two boys started walking, but Zenovia stood, frozen in place. When he noticed that she wasn’t with them Tristan asked, “Zee. You coming?”
“Nah. I’m not really hungry.”
“Zee…”
She waved a dismissive hand at Tristan and Kyle. “Go! I’m cool. I’ll see you guys at the end of the afternoon session.”
Zenovia fumed her way through the entire afternoon session. She seriously considered firing Tristan, although he wasn’t officially hired, not to mention she was starving! Zenovia’s fury plus her hunger was a mixture that resulted in folded arms and a frown when everyone else in the room was applauding an inspirational message.
She tried to turn her attention to the speaker, but his words about “God’s loving arrangement” just couldn’t hold her interest. What did he mean by arrangement anyway? Was it a code word for blessing? Zenovia found herself to be a novice in Brethren vocabulary.
Audrey was eating it all up and clapping her heart out. If they were at a real church, Audrey would be standing from her seat with uplifted hands and shouting “Hallelujah” at the top of her lungs.
Zenovia recalled with fondness the Pentecostal churches where she’d first learned about God, and all of the Baptist, Holiness, and Methodist churches that she and Audrey had attended before the Brethren. These Brethren of the Sacrifice meetings didn’t have anything on a Sunday-evening revival. The Brethren didn’t even have testimony service. But what the Brethren lacked in religiosity, they made up for in kindness and orderliness.
And, of course, the Brethren had Tristan. The beautiful, inconsiderate, cowardly Tristan. Zenovia squinted over in his direction. She felt her solemn expression transform into a full-fledged glare when she noticed that Mia was seated between Tristan and Alyssa. Zenovia wondered what those someones would think of their seating arrangement.
In the Midst of It All Page 4