by Joanne Walsh
“So, had you been in London, that would have been your plan, regardless?”
She nodded. “I really do need to leave today. What are your plans?”
“I shall go along to Bambini this afternoon, and then I guess it’s work tomorrow. But the next couple of weeks are looking pretty relaxed. Luckily, I don’t have to go anywhere on a plane until the second week of January.”
“That’s good.”
They fell into silence for a while. Then she said shyly, “I hope we can stay in touch.”
He swallowed. “Sure, cara. I’ll give you my email address and perhaps I can take you out to dinner the next time I’m in London.”
“I’d like that.” She looked around her. “I think we’d better make tracks back to the apartment. I’ve got to get myself packed up.”
*
The water taxi rank at St. Mark’s Basin was crowded. Ashlynne staggered a little as somebody pushed past her to board a boat.
“Whoa!” Lorenzo placed a hand under her arm to steady her.
“I nearly fell over when I arrived, and now I’m nearly falling over as I leave.” She made an attempt at humor, but it fell flat in the flagging atmosphere that surrounded them. There was so much she wanted to say, and so much she knew it was better not to say. Lorenzo was being charming and polite, but he seemed detached and subdued too.
“Well, I guess I’d better be on my way; let you get off to Bambini,” she said awkwardly.
“Goodbye, cara. Will you text me to let me know you’ve landed safely in London?”
“Sure. I’ve put your number into my phone. Okay . . . ” She bent to pick up her suitcase and he did the same. Their heads almost cracked together.
“Ooops! Mmm—” She didn’t manage to get any more words out before he scooped her up in a kiss. His mouth roamed hotly, feverishly, on hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck, never wanting it to end, never wanting to be parted from him . . . But all too soon, she felt cold air on her lips and it was over.
He stepped back, bent down, picked up her suitcase and handed it to her. “Look after yourself, tesoro.” She watched as he turned and then disappeared into the crowds.
Sitting on the vaporetto, which was crammed and going very slowly, her throat felt hard and dry. She felt tearful, but she was beyond crying. She stared at the receding skyline of Venice. It was over.
The airport, when she finally reached it, was very busy too. Flights had started arriving and disgorging passengers, as well as receiving travellers like herself, who wanted to be on their way after two days without movement. The journey across the Lagoon had taken far longer than she’d planned. She’d need to hurry to check in and get through security. As she went through the main entrance, sunk deep in her own world, she heard somebody call her name. Startled, she looked up and saw a woman waving at her. “Ash-leen! Ash-leen!”
Ohmygod, it’s Claudia, she thought, and realized she couldn’t avoid saying hello. She stopped where she was as the younger woman made her way over to her, shepherding a toddler before her. Claudia was still pretty, but in a plumper, less threatening way; she’d lost her feline predatoriness.
Claudia grabbed her and she submitted to being kissed three times on the cheeks. Then, she dully answered Claudia’s questions about how she came to be stranded here—though she didn’t mention she’d been staying with Lorenzo—and found out that Claudia and her family had been similarly delayed flying to Venice for Christmas from New York, where she now lived.
“My ’usband, ’e is looking for a taxi to take us by road. Danilo, ’e gets sick on the water.” She looked affectionately down at her small son. Then her face grew serious and she placed a hand on Ashlynne’s arm.
“I ’ave an apology to make,” Claudia confessed.
Indeed you do, Ashlynne thought testily herself, but kept her face impassive and said, “Oh?”
“Si, I was a very silly, jealous young girl. I should not have said what I said to you.” Ashlynne was surprised when she saw the other woman’s eyes filling with tears. “I ’ave felt so bad about it for years.”
“What’s the matter, Claudia? What do you mean?”
“I should not ’ave said to you that I was ’aving an affair with Lorenzo, because it was not true.”
Ashlynne’s head reeled as if she was punch-drunk. “Are you saying that you never s-slept with Lorenzo, or had a r-relationship with him?” she stuttered.
“Si. I tried to make him interested in me, but Lorenzo, ’e didn’t want me. ’E loved you. I should not have pretended to steal ’im from his wife.”
“Ohh.” The air whooshed out of Ashlynne’s lungs. She clutched at the other woman’s hand. “You’re not just saying this, to make me feel better?”
Claudia frowned. “No. I tell you the truth. I have a good ’usband now.”
“That’s wonderful, Claudia, that really is. I’m so glad I bumped into you. Thank you so much for being honest with me.”
They chatted a little more about this and that, then said their goodbyes and bade one another a Happy New Year. Claudia and her son went off in search of her husband and the taxi.
Ashlynne continued to stand rooted to the spot, as she shook all over and her head throbbed, fit to burst. How long she stayed there, with people brushing past her and around her, she couldn’t say. All she could think about was that Claudia hadn’t slept with Lorenzo! He’d been telling her the truth. She remembered sitting in Nonna’s on Christmas Eve feeling he was being sincere. Why hadn’t she believed him then? How had she spent five years not accepting his explanation? How could everything she’d been convinced of be swept away and her world turned upside down after one chance meeting and a few sentences of conversation?
Lorenzo’s words of the night before floated into her mind: I can’t change what happened in the past. I can only undo myself. She couldn’t change what had happened either, but she could undo herself. Undo herself from all her insecurity and lack of belief and trust.
He hadn’t been a great husband, but now she knew why. But that hadn’t meant he had betrayed her or not cared; she knew that now, as well. She’d just been too lost in her emotions and grief to see it.
At that moment, she heard an announcement making the final call for her flight to London. She realized that she wasn’t going to be on it, because she was going to back to the city and find Lorenzo, tell him that she’d been wrong. It might be too late for him to forgive her for how she’d rejected him. But, if Fate had brought her here to find out the truth, then it might just also give her the miracle she needed to get him back.
Chapter Ten
‡
The line-up for the water taxi snaked back for miles. As it slowly shuffled forward, Ashlynne wanted to scream. It was mid-afternoon now and dusk was falling. Finally, she was able to board and find herself a seat, and sat wound up as tense as a coiled spring as the craft slowly launched and made its chugging way towards the lights of the city.
When she reached St. Mark’s Basin, she was possessed of a superhuman strength that allowed her to haul her luggage back to the apartment along the still snowy lanes. When she rang the bell, there was no answer. Damn! After pacing up and down on the sidewalk outside and deciding that Lorenzo must be at Bambini still, she rang the concierge’s bell and prayed that the old man was around. After endless minutes, he came to open the heavy front door. “Si?”
She used her very basic Italian to persuade him to take in her case, then left him bewildered on the doorstep as she hurried off towards Cannaregio. By now, it was getting really quite dark and frosty, and she wasn’t sure if she was going in the right direction; she was lost. She stopped an old woman and asked, “Bambini? Direzione?” At first, the woman didn’t seem to comprehend. Then, in desperation, Ashlynne said, “Lorenzo di Grechi?” The old lady’s face broke into a beaming smile and she pointed down the street. Ashlynne thanked her and kept going.
She was nearer than she thought and soon saw the welcome sight of the Bambini si
gn. She broke out into a run. Please let him be there! She arrived in the hallway, puffing and panting, and bumped into Sister Anna.
“Ashlynne! Whatever are you doing here? Lorenzo told us he’d put you on the boat for the airport. Are you okay?”
“Oh, Sister Anna, I’ve made the most terrible mistake. I need to find Lorenzo, tell him that I was wrong. Is he still here?”
Sister Anna gave her an understanding nod. “He is still here, my dear. Let me take you to him. But, calm yourself first. I’m sure whatever it is you feel you’ve done wrong, he will forgive you.”
Ashlynne nodded and took a deep breath, willing herself to get a grip, though she wasn’t entirely sure that he would be that charitable. Her heart continued to pound, but she followed in Sister Anna’s wake to a room along the hall.
When they reached the doorway, Sister Anna stepped aside to allow her to go in. She was greeted by the extraordinary sight of Lorenzo seated on a child’s small chair, surrounded by little girls and boys and their dolls and teddies. He was hold a plastic cup and saucer, while one of the children pretended to pour from a teapot. There were real cupcakes on plastic plates.
“He’s the guest of honor at the toys’ Christmas tea party,” Sister Anna whispered in her ear. “We arranged it for the little ones, as they don’t normally come along here to the center, but Lorenzo wanted them to have a Christmas treat, as well as their older brothers and sisters.
Ashlynne felt her heart slow and melt into a glowing ball of love as she watched this big, macho guy playing patiently and with total attention, as he fed cake to a teddy with a jaunty spotted scarf around its neck that was perched on his lap. She stepped forward.
“Would you mind if I joined you?”
Lorenzo looked up at her and for a few second he frowned in disbelief. Then a smile grew across his handsome features. “Not all, tesoro,” he said, “please do.”
One of the youth workers who was seated near him got up and offered her chair to Ashlynne, who sat down, took off her coat and accepted a sticky cup and a plate of cake from a bustling little girl. Lorenzo turned his head and said casually, “Flight cancelled again, cara?”
“No,” she replied casually, and shrugged. “I just couldn’t stand the thought of you having the rest of my plum pudding cake all to yourself.”
“Ah,” he chuckled. “So nothing to do with coming back to see me?”
“Um . . . it might,” she conceded.
They stayed to play with the kids for a while longer, then said their goodbyes to them, Sister Anna and the other staff. Sister Anna squeezed Ashlynne’s hands warmly in hers.
“Let’s get a gondola back to the apartment,” Lorenzo suggested, putting his arm around Ashlynne’s shoulder as they left Bambini. They walked to the nearest canal and a boat was soon with them. They settled onto its seats and sat huddled together in the freezing night air.
“So, plum pudding cake aside, cara, what’s brought you back to Venice?”
“Let’s just say that something of a miracle occurred while I was at the airport. I received a last-minute spurt of Christmas spirit,” she said, searching his face, her eyes full of regret. “I’m sorry I doubted you, Lorenzo, I really am. I’ve realized you were telling me the truth when you said you didn’t have an affair with Claudia. I trust you.”
He looked down, smiled to himself, then looked back up at her. “Wow, that was some spurt. But tell me, what reason do I have to trust you?”
Her shoulders slumped when it dawned on her that she couldn’t expect him just to lie down and accept her apology. Should she tell him about bumping into Claudia? She groped around in her mind for something to say.
Lorenzo spoke first. “The thing is, Tesoro, why would you change your mind so suddenly after five years of not trusting me?”
She inhaled. He had a good point. All she could do was to tell him what was in her heart and hope he understood. “The truth is, I never stopped loving you, or wanting you. I adored you and when our world fell apart like that, my dreams were completely shattered. I was incredibly angry with you, partly because at the time circumstances appeared to say that you hadn’t been loyal or faithful, but also partly because I loved you so much. Try as I might, I couldn’t actually let you, or my love for you go. Then, coming here, spending Christmas with you, helped me rediscover all the wonderful things that had made me fall for you—and realize that perhaps I had misjudged you over losing the baby. The one sticking point was Claudia.” She paused and closed her eyes. “When you and I talked at Nonna’s, my heart told me you were sincere and telling the truth, but my head wouldn’t believe it. Then, I bumped into her at the airport today and she told me what had really happened.”
She opened her eyes again and saw his eyebrows were raised in surprise. “You saw Claudia? How is she? I heard she got married and had a baby.”
“She looked well and happy,” Ashlynne replied, and couldn’t help adding, “if a little plumper than I remembered. But, yes, she has a husband and a little boy now. She was at pains to tell me that you and she never had an affair, that she lied to me.”
He sighed. “So, finally you hear it from the horse’s mouth and your head believes it?”
“Yes—look, I know it shouldn’t have taken a stupid coincidence to make me see. I should have listened to my gut.” She shook her head. “You know what you said last night, about not being able to change the past and all you could change was yourself, undo yourself?”
He nodded.
“That struck a deep chord with me, Lorenzo, because I need to undo myself as well. I couldn’t let go of my anger because I loved you, and because it was too scary after living like that for so long. I think it gave me the will to keep going, after losing the baby and losing you.”
“I see,” he said quietly. “And how will you go about undoing yourself, cara?”
“By taking the risks that I need to take; by accepting how much I love you, saying yes to your marriage proposal—if you’ll still have me. And by trying to get pregnant again as soon as possible.”
“You want another baby? My baby?”
“Yes,” she said, her eyes shining. Then she added with a mischievous grin. “How can I let those skills with entertaining toys to tea go to waste?”
He grinned back. “What about your business, cara?
“You know, I’ve done everything I wanted to. Maybe it’s time to let go of the reins a little. I have a couple of great people who would make marvellous managers. And with technology these days, it’s so easy to keep in touch.”
He gathered her up in his arms, kissed her for long seconds, then searched her face. “This has to be the best Christmas present ever, cuore mio. I’d better tell the gondolier to get a move on. We need to get home quickly and get started on making that baby . . . ”
*
One year later: 26 December
Ashlynne and Lorenzo stood in the nursery that had been converted from one of the palazzo apartment’s guest bedrooms. It was painted cream and yellow, and filled with everything their baby—Amelia—needed. Lorenzo was holding the little mite, who’d been born the day before on a relatively balmy and unsnowy Christmas Day, at his shoulder, gently patting her to wind her after her feed.
Amelia gave a big yawn and then a hiccup.
“I think it’s time you put her down for a sleep, proud daddy,” Ashlynne said, stroking her daughter’s shock of dark hair.
Lorenzo gently laid his daughter down in her crib on her back, then tucked her in. He straightened up and, putting an arm around his wife’s shoulders, pulled her to him and kissed the side of her head.
“Happy with your Christmas gift, darling?” she asked, nuzzling against his lips.
“I’m the happiest man alive, tesoro. Because, at long last, I have the gift of love.”
The End
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About the Author
Joanne Walsh became hooked on romance when her grandma gave her a copy of Gone with the Wind for her birthday. The teachers at her strict girls’ school didn’t approve of a ten-year-old reading such a ‘racy’ novel and confiscated it. But Joanne still became a voracious romance reader and, later, an editor for one of the world’s leading women’s fiction publishers, where she could do two of her favorite things: work with her beloved alpha-male heroes and spend time in the USA. These days, Joanne lives in the south of England and divides her time between freelance editing, writing and spending time with her very own real-life alpha . . .