“What?”
“It’s the code,” Trey said. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he hadn’t even opened his eyes during our conversation. Then it hit me. 0-8-3-0. August 30th was the day we’d met at Carlie’s. I don’t know why it surprised me that he remembered the date. Sure enough, upon closer inspection I found a small keypad and typed in the numbers. A green light flashed, and when I pulled on the door for a second time it opened easily. It was stocked with blood bags and blood-laced wine. “It’s not much of a stash,” he added. “But we’ll just have to keep it filled.”
“Leave that part to me,” I said. “It’s perfect.” I closed the fridge and made my way back over to the sofa, getting comfortable next to him. He put his arm around me as I laid my head in the crook of his neck. My hand rested on his chest where his vampire heart thrummed against my palm. “You were amazing tonight,” I whispered. I felt him move to kiss the top of my head, but he didn’t say anything. “Something’s on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. I knew he was worried, and he knew better than to pretend I couldn’t tell.
“I’m just trying to decide what it is that’s missing from the show,” he said slowly.
“If that’s your show when it’s missing something-” I started, but then I realized he was seriously trying to work this out in his head. “Missing,” I said, biting my lip. “Like what?”
He let out a laugh and ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. It just didn’t feel finished.” Then he smiled and took my hand from his chest, kissing it softly and returning it to the spot over his heart. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, his voice much lighter. “I’ll figure it out. I always do.”
“That’s not the only thing you’re worried about,” I prompted.
He took a deep breath, sighing. I waited patiently while he found the words he needed. “Was it obvious?” he asked. “I don’t want the guys wondering about me. It’s just that my lungs must work differently now, or something. I mean, there’s putting on a great show, and then there’s starting rumors that you’re lip-synching.”
I couldn’t help the smile on my face just then. “I don’t think you have to worry about the lip-synching rumors,” I said. “As for the guys, did they seem concerned at all?”
“Not really, but then again they’re probably getting used to me after rehearsals and everything.”
“You killed it out there,” I said. “I don’t think anyone is going to complain if you continue to do that night after night.”
He nodded, chewing his bottom lip. “Being on stage tonight ... it was just different. That’s all.”
“Ah,” I said. “But tonight is different, and not just because you’re a vampire now.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, a lilt of curiosity in his voice.
“Yeah,” I said. “For instance, this was the first time you could look down and find your incredibly hot wife in the front row.”
He sat up then and turned to face me, that million-dollar smile back in place. “That’s true,” he said as he lifted my chin with his fingers. I closed my eyes in anticipation of the rush as his lips came down on mine, and my stomach filled with butterflies. His, not mine. He was still obviously reeling from the show. I raked my fingers through his hair, giving over to his emotions completely as they flurried around inside of me. Too soon, a bang on the bus’s outside wall startled us both into reality.
“Trey, you in there?” called a voice. It was Chase.
“No,” Trey hollered back, a defeated smile spreading across his full lips. I stifled a giggle, and he shook his head hopelessly, sighing. “Welcome to tour life.”
Chapter 3
Aurora
THE SECOND SHOW OF the tour was when it really started to hit me that this was going to be my life for the foreseeable future. I’d tried to imagine it, put myself in this situation in my head over and over, but I couldn’t have completely grasped the beautiful chaos of it all until I was right in the middle of it. We were in another city, and Trey and the guys were completely amped up before taking the stage. I wasn’t sure how much of that was nerves and how much of it was pure excitement because it was radiating off them in indistinguishable waves. What I did know for certain was that they were happy. Trey was happy, and that was all I wanted. I recalled the walk he and I had taken along the shore the day Wes died. Trey was on the verge of a tailspin after spending hours at the police station, and he’d driven way too fast until we’d ended up at the beach. I didn’t know it until we reached the water, but he was trying to prepare himself for the very real possibility that he’d have to quit the band. He’d just lost Wes because of his involvement with vampires, and he wasn’t sure he could walk the fine line that would come with being a new vampire and going on tour. The decision I had made that night to join him on the road was just the first of many big moments that had brought us here today.
I watched him now as he warmed up his voice with O’Shea – focused, but obviously enjoying every second of it. Everything I had loved about Trey as a human still existed inside the man he was today, fangs and all. He felt my gaze, then, and looked over his shoulder long enough to flash me that irresistible half-smile of his, and then it was back to business. I sat back, watching – a little envious of the way his carefree spirit really seemed to come alive before a show like this. I knew the act of painting did something similar for my own soul, but I’d always been a bit of an introvert, and painting had never forced me out of my comfort zone in that sense. For Trey, being on stage was that escape he so desperately craved, except that his endeavor pulled in countless faces in the crowd, and all their experiences combined into something bigger than any of them individually. It was a powerful thing to witness, and I was still trying to take it all in. I decided that tonight I wanted to be a fly on the wall and maybe gain a new perspective.
“What’s your plan?” Trey asked me, suddenly standing in front of me.
“My plan?” I repeated. I’d woke up with this crazy idea for the Catalyst shows that I thought might make the set feel more complete. I’d shared my idea with Trey, and he and the other guys were completely on board with it. The only problem was that pulling it off was completely dependent on my ability to transform them all into zombies in under ten minutes. I’d done a practice run on Trey this morning, and I’d managed to do his zombie makeup in two and a half minutes. Even for a vampire, I felt that was impressive. Then I’d spent the day shopping for suits for each of the guys before taking them back to the bus and shredding them with a knife until they looked thoroughly tattered to my satisfaction.
Trey grinned at me and cupped my cheek with his free hand, his other one holding his guitar. “Is everything okay?” he asked softly.
I nodded and smiled. “Yeah,” I assured him. “I think I want to watch from the side of the stage tonight, though. That way I’ll be ready when you all come back to the lounge to get ready for the encore.”
He nodded, and we walked together to the backstage area. “The hotel we’re at tonight has a great pool and a hot tub with our name on it,” he said, grinning.
“Talked me into it,” I said. A little R&R by the pool sounded amazing.
“You know you have free run of the place,” Trey reminded me. “Unfortunately the only castle I have to offer is these concrete walls, and floors, and a ridiculously high decibel volume out there, but you’re the queen.”
I looked into his bright blue eyes, crystal clear with purpose. “It’s the only castle I need,” I promised.
He smiled and slowly brushed his lips against my own, sending a jolt of his adrenaline through me. I pulled him back down for a second kiss, suddenly reluctant to let him go. When the kiss ended, he leaned his forehead against mine and said, “I’ll see you soon.”
I let him go, but waved when he looked back over his shoulder at me. He carried his guitar onto the stage alongside his brothers, only to be met my an eruption of screaming.
I couldn’t fathom the pressure the guys must have
been feeling as they walked out into the frenzy of expectations awaiting them.
How did anyone do that night after night?
They made it look easy. Maybe it was easy when you loved it as much as they did. As for me, I was perfectly content to cheer from the sidelines, pinching myself occasionally to make sure I wasn’t just being swept up in a dream I didn’t deserve.
The show was dead on. Trey was dead on. I already knew the moment he picked up a guitar it became an extension of him, but I found as I watched that the same happened with a microphone, or the stage itself. He was strictly business during a song, lending to whatever mood the lyrics and music called for as he performed. In between songs he was laughing and going back and forth with the other guys and the fans. Watching it all, I almost began to feel like I’d never seen a concert before, which was absurd. Just something about seeing it from this perspective now... or maybe it was all Trey. He’d been on stage the first moment I’d laid eyes on him at Carlie’s, and maybe that was the key. He was very open and vulnerable with his performance that night, moving the crowd in a way that most rock stars couldn’t do on their own without the big stage, and the smoke, and light effects. I’d even wondered briefly if he was a vampire, but as soon as he’d gotten close I’d realized he was human.
I focused on the present again, watching Trey switch out his guitar for an acoustic-electric while Jonas addressed the crowd. He looked directly at me and gave me that half-smile I love so much. I waved, smiling back at him, and the mystery was solved. The truth was simple. Trey was just Trey, whether he was onstage or off. He was just as magnificent and talented by day as he was when he commanded the attention of the adoring fans at night. He was genuine, committed, and humble all at once. That was the man I had fallen madly in love with, the man I had risked everything for; left my home and taken on the responsibilities of a maker for. I glanced down at the diamond ring on my left hand. It glittered, even in the poor lighting, and I grinned as I looked at it. This was my new life, or a least a big part of it. I was still working out in my head where I fit into all of this, but I welcomed the challenge. Considering how insane things had been for Trey and I since we’d met, this tour could bring some much needed routine and normalcy into our lives. Surely that was a good thing. Trey could work, but so could I. I could paint regularly, even if it was in the backstage lounge. Trey and I would spend time together whenever possible, somewhere between the radio interviews, soundchecks, and the shows. It was all going to work out. I was certain of it.
The guys started playing the opening notes of the last song of the set and I knew it was time for me to head to the lounge. Any minute now they’d be coming in and expecting me to transform them into zombies for the last two songs. I had the face paints laid out in front of the mirror and their suits hung up along the back wall when I heard the roar of the crowd that told me the guys had just left the stage. Trey came through the lounge door first and marched right up to me, a victorious smile playing on his perfect lips. He wrapped his arms around my lower back and picked me up, spinning around a few times. His mood was completely infectious, and I laughed until he set me down. Then his lips were on mine. My fingers were in his hair as I sifted through the many feelings that were instantaneously coursing through me.
“I love having you here when I get off stage,” Trey said in my ear.
“Get used to it,” I said, enjoying the hint of cologne that was rising up from his shirt collar. “I’m not going anywhere. Now, sit down.” He did as he was told and sat in the chair before me. I started with his zombie makeup and directed Jonas and O’Shea to change into their suits while they waited their turn. Chase, who insisted that he didn’t know how he was going to get a pair of contacts in his eyeballs, started with that task.
“I love this tour,” Jonas was saying as he buttoned up his suit coat. “The new songs are incredible to perform. I mean, I knew they would be, but I don’t think I knew just how much fun this was going to be.”
“Show number two,” Trey said as I gestured for him to get up. “We’re just getting started.” We had just hit the ten-minute mark when I sent them all running back out of the lounge to take the stage again. I followed behind, not wanting to miss their entrance. The crowd went crazy when they saw their zombie makeup and attire. Trey leaned into the microphone in front of him and said, “Thank you. You guys are amazing. In case you couldn’t guess we’d like to play our latest single for you. Sing along if you know it.” Then he looked over his shoulder to nod at Chase, and they began playing the opening of “You Only Live Twice.” The fans shouted back their approval, and I heard the crowd singing every word right along with Trey.
“The mirror’s cracked but the image clear
There isn’t much that I can’t say.
I wish you’d stop pretending
That it can’t be this way.”
If I knew anything, I knew that his heart was pounding with pride and humility at the way the fans were receiving them. I stood there watching, mouthing the words as he delivered them.
“You paint a picture of my life
Though it won’t be carved in stone.
You’ll take me to my grave
So we won’t be alone.”
It was one of my favorite Catalyst songs. Only Trey could find a way to sum up all of the parts of our relationship and turn them into a song so cryptic – so hauntingly beautiful – as this. Trey’s voice as he sang the lyrics transported me on a journey. It began with a chance meeting and an unexpected painting lesson, and then the next thing I knew the notes were weaving a story that included nights at the studio with Karatz and painting/songwriting sessions at The Waking Moon. One of those late night sessions had resulted in this song. The fans were soaking it all in like teenaged sponges. The guys sang “Filtered Ache” to end the night; the single that had first put them on the charts and thrown them into the spotlight. It was the perfect ending to the perfect show, and I knew from the look on Trey’s face as he made his way toward me that the Catalyst set was now complete.
Chapter 4
Trey
THE FIRST WEEK OF touring was perfect. I was starting to ride that wave of content that comes in when things are going well. I should have known things couldn’t be that smooth forever. Aurora and I had just pulled up to the next venue in our bus when we noticed the small crowd gathering by the fence outside. Chase and O’Shea were already signing things and taking pictures with fans when I stepped off the bus. I heard my name being chanted, and I turned and waved to them.
“Go on,” Aurora said, nodding in the direction of the crowd. “They need you. I’ll meet you inside when you’re done breaking hearts.”
I smiled and pulled her in for a quick kiss. “You’re not very good at the whole jealous woman thing.”
She shrugged, waving at the crowd. “You can make it up to me later.”
I shook my head, grinning as she walked toward the building’s back entrance. The moment I turned on my heel and started walking toward the fans, the name chanting stopped and shouts of approval rang out. O’Shea turned to look behind him, chuckling when he saw me.
“Decide to join in on the fun?” he asked.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I said as I stepped up to the short fence. “What do you think of the record?” I asked the closest fan as she handed me a Sharpie and her copy of the Until Sanity CD jacket to sign. I held the marker lid between my lips while I signed my name and then replaced it, handing it all back to her.
“It’s your best yet,” she said enthusiastically.
“Thank you,” I said. “I’m glad you feel that way.”
The next girl was wearing one of our new zombie T-shirts. I signed my name next to my zombified-self and then posed for a picture with her.
“What was the easiest song to write on the record?” Another fan asked as I signed her iPod.
“That’s a tough one,” Chase said sarcastically from a few feet away. “Hmm....”
“They�
�re all easy when you don’t write ‘em,” I said to him, which earned some laughs from the fans. “I actually wrote ‘Mirage’ while I was hanging out at Aurora’s art studio. I was playing around on my guitar, and it just sort of happened, so that was pretty easy.”
“Do you still talk to Nikki?” she added. “I just wonder what she thinks of ‘Sweet Disguise.’”
I chuckled, more at her perceptiveness than anything. I wasn’t going to drop names and claim outwardly that Nikki was responsible for that song, but anyone who knew our history at all would come to that conclusion on their own. “We haven’t spoken since we split,” I said, hoping that was a satisfying enough answer.
“What’s your favorite part of the show?” Someone else asked.
“Seeing you guys,” I said. “We miss seeing all of you when we’re recording. Being with the fans is definitely the highlight.”
“Being a zombie is pretty cool, too,” O’Shea answered.
“Yeah, except for those stupid contacts,” Chase muttered.
“Is it hard to do the zombie make up?” Another fan asked as I posed for some pictures.
“Aurora actually does the make up for us,” O’Shea added. “It can’t be as easy as she makes it seem, but we just change our clothes and let her work her magic real quick. She’s pretty fast at it.”
“I think it’s her dream job,” Chase said, grinning. “Who wouldn’t want to put zombie makeup on a bunch of guys every night? Surely there’s no better way to use her talents.”
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