by Carol Lynne
Erico nodded his understanding. “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”
“So you really think you can give up your old ways?” Sean questioned Erico further.
Erico stared deep into Sean’s eyes. “If you had a man like Jay in your life, would you waste your time looking for something better?” Erico shook his head. “In my eyes there is no one better.”
Sean reached across the bar and slapped Erico on the shoulder. “That’s what I wanted to hear.” He turned towards the kitchen. “I’ll finish up, Jay. You’ve got a man out here trying to kill himself with a glass of iced tea.”
Jay flew out of the kitchen before Sean had even shut his mouth. “What?” Jay hurried to the bar and grabbed the glass of tea.
Erico grinned and shook his head. “Maybe you could throw a guy a bone and buy some decaf.”
“I’ll consider it,” Sean laughed.
Jay grabbed his coat off the hook just inside the kitchen. “Everything’s done except sterilising the slicer.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Sean agreed.
Erico stood and held out his hand. When Jay took it, Erico’s heart finally felt at peace. He knew they had a lot to talk about, but hopefully Jay truly was willing to give him a chance.
* * * *
Walking into Erico’s house felt like coming home to Jay. Although he’d only spent a few nights there, his body seemed to ease as soon as he stepped through the door. He still wasn’t totally convinced he was doing the right thing, but he was definitely sure he was ready to take the chance.
“Let me start a fire,” Erico said after taking Jay’s coat and hanging it up.
Jay followed Erico into the living room and sat on the couch. “How did things go today at the restaurant?”
Erico adjusted the logs and turned on the gas starter. “It felt damn good to get back to the kitchen.”
“You didn’t overdo it, did you?” Jay had worried all evening. Every time the phone rang at the pub, he feared it was someone calling with bad news. Several times he’d had to stop himself from picking up the phone to check on Erico.
“Not at all. I concentrated on cooking and nothing else. Well, I did place a couple of ads on the web for a restaurant manager.” Erico stood and dusted his hands off. “What would you like to drink?”
“Water’s fine with me,” Jay answered.
Erico walked out of the room, and Jay pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa to wrap around him. He snuggled into the corner of the couch and sighed. He felt so incredibly comfortable with Erico. It was the reason he’d decided to proceed with their budding relationship.
Erico re-entered the room and handed Jay a glass of ice water.
“You mind?” Erico asked, indicating the spot next to Erico on the couch.
“Not at all,” Jay answered truthfully.
Jay knew Erico deserved an explanation for the way he’d acted the last several days, but he wasn’t sure where to start. “It’s not easy for me to trust people.”
Erico took a sip of his water before setting it on the coffee table. “I can understand that.”
The velvety-soft fringe on the corner of the blanket got Jay’s attention and he started to run his fingers through it as he tried to organise his thoughts. “I’ve never been in love. I mean, I loved my family, but I thought that was different. Family’s supposed to love you no matter what, right?”
Erico rested his arm on the back of the sofa and began playing with the ends of Jay’s hair. “And in the end, yours didn’t,” he seemed to surmise.
“Yeah, something like that.” Jay took a deep breath. “Randy used to tell me how much he loved me after one of his beatings.”
“That wasn’t love, baby,” Erico was quick to say.
“I know that now. But I think at the time, it only served to fortify my belief that love wasn’t real, at least not for someone like me.”
“Like you? You’re the most caring, gentlest man I’ve ever known. If anyone’s easy to love it’s you.” Erico’s hand moved to cup Jay’s cheek.
After a quick kiss, Erico continued. “I never wanted to fall in love. I saw how devastated my mom was when my dad died and decided I could never do that to someone. Maybe I’m being selfish by loving you now, I don’t know. But I do know you’re the only man who’s ever gotten past the walls I’d built around my heart.”
“You’re healthy now though, right?” Jay questioned.
“Now? Yeah. Well as much as someone with my genetic history can be, I guess. But I can’t predict the future.”
Jay nodded and scooted closer to Erico. “I suppose it might help if you had a boyfriend who kept an eye on you then, huh?”
Erico grinned. “It would definitely help. Do you know anyone who might be interested in the position?”
Jay wrapped his arms around Erico and snuggled against his chest. “I think I might know someone who’d like to apply for training.”
“I think you’d take to it naturally, very little training required.” Erico kissed the top of Jay’s head. “I’m pretty sure you know how I feel about you, but I promise not to say the words again until you’re ready to hear them.”
Jay closed his eyes and sighed. “Take me to bed.”
* * * *
After carrying Jay to bed, Erico returned to the living room and shut off the gas starter before locking up. He walked back into the bedroom and began pealing off his clothes as he stared at the man waiting for him.
The expression on Jay’s face was one Erico knew he’d never forget. It was a combination of lust and fear. Erico hoped he’d soon be able to put his lover at ease in both respects.
Nude, Erico slid between the sheets to press against Jay’s warmth. Despite what Jay thought, Erico knew the man loved him. It would take a while for Jay to understand his feelings enough to know the truth, but Erico was willing to wait. As long as the two of them were together, the tags they used to describe each other didn’t make much difference to him.
He rolled on top of Erico and insinuated himself between his lover’s legs. Erico had no intention of fucking Jay like he had in the past. Although he wouldn’t call it by name, he wanted to make love to Jay. His biggest hope was that it would show Jay a different side to sex. Erico liked it rough and Jay was a perfect match for him in that aspect, but right then, he wanted to express more than a hard fuck would allow.
“I’ve missed you so much.” Erico brushed his lips across Jay’s.
Jay wrapped his legs around Erico and kissed him back, sucking Erico’s tongue inside his mouth.
Like every time they’d been together, the intensity was immediate and Erico had to pull himself back. He broke the kiss and began working his way down Jay’s body with his tongue. As he laved the dark brown discs of Jay’s nipples, he could feel his lover’s hard cock press against his abdomen.
He scraped one of the pebbled nubs with his teeth and delighted in the sound of pleasure he received from Jay. Erico replaced his mouth with his fingers and pinched the sensitive nipples as he continued licking his way down Jay’s abdomen. He stopped at Jay’s bellybutton and swirled his tongue around the slight indentation while applying even more pressure to the nubs between his thumbs and forefingers.
Jay groaned and pushed against the top of Erico’s head, silently begging Erico towards his cock.
Obliging his lover wasn’t a problem for Erico. He scooted down further, sucking the sensitive skin surrounding Jay’s cock into his mouth.
“Oohhhh,” Jay moaned as Erico continued to mark him with small bruises.
Erico tickled the base of Jay’s cock with the tip of his tongue as he continued the assault on Jay’s nipples. He licked his way up Jay’s shaft to the crown. Maintaining eye contact, Erico slurped the sweet pre-cum as it ran in copious amounts from the slit on the head of Jay’s cock.
Jay fisted the bed sheets in his hands. “Fuck me,” he begged.
Erico sucked more of the sweet essence into his mouth b
efore moving down to nuzzle his face into the crack of Jay’s ass. He licked at the sensitive area with the flat of his tongue while rubbing his own cock against the sheet underneath him. Erico couldn’t decide if it was the taste of his lover or the continual sounds Jay made that turned him on more.
He felt the bottle of lube being pressed into his hand and grinned.
“I need you in me,” Jay mumbled. “I’ve felt so empty without you inside of me.”
The statement shocked Erico. He withdrew his face from Jay’s ass and sat up. He knew it would be a long time before Jay trusted him enough to go bareback, so he grudgingly held out his hand for a condom. Some day.
After rolling the rubber down his length, he opened the bottle of lube and slicked his fingers. Jay started to roll over, but Erico stopped him with a hand on his lower torso. “Stay there.”
Once again, a flash of fear crossed Jay’s expression.
Erico smiled, trying to put his lover at ease as he entered Jay with his forefinger. He knew the intimacy involved in sex face to face was something new for Jay. Hell, it was uncommon for him as well. Erico usually preferred the depth he could attain from behind, but this coupling wasn’t only about sexual fulfilment.
After working two fingers easily in and out of Jay’s hole, Erico withdrew and replaced them with the head of his cock. Lying on top of Jay, Erico braced the majority of his weight on his arms and slowly drove his cock in to the root.
Gazing down into Jay’s eyes, Erico longed to say the forbidden words that he felt to the depths of his heart. Instead, he pulled out and pushed in again, starting a slow, but intense rhythm.
“I love the way your body feels wrapped around my cock,” he said, rocking his shaft in and out of Jay’s ass.
Jay nodded and finally spoke. “No one’s ever filled me so completely.”
Erico grinned. He knew, even without the words, Jay was talking about more than his cock. In that moment, Erico was so overcome with feeling, he felt tears cloud his vision. Looking into the heavily lined eyes of his lover, Erico swallowed around the lump in his throat. “You are so incredibly beautiful.”
A soft pink blush worked its way up Jay’s neck to colour his cheeks. “You make me feel beautiful.”
Erico lowered himself even more to rub against Jay’s hard cock, trapping the dripping shaft between them. He leant down and bit the side of Jay’s neck as he tried to hold off his quickly approaching climax.
As Erico marked Jay with his teeth, his lover called his name. The warmth of Jay’s seed spread between them signalling Jay’s orgasm.
Erico managed to pump twice more before grinding himself as hard as he could against Jay’s hole. He came in a rush of feeling, filling the condom to the point of worry. Without giving himself time to collapse, Erico reached down and pinched the base of the rubber as he pulled out.
He knew as he tied off the condom and tossed it into the trashcan he’d done the right thing. When he finally allowed himself to collapse on the mattress and pull Jay into his arms his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. His promise to Jay came to mind and Erico squeezed his eyes shut. How long could he go without telling the man in his arms how much he loved him?
Erico opted for a different version of the words, although they meant the same thing to him. “You’re it for me.”
Epilogue
On February fifteenth, Cattle Valley held their annual Valentine’s Day dance in the ballroom of the Twin Pines Lodge. Jay was stupidly nervous as he fiddled with his new tie. “Are you sure it looks okay?”
“You look fantastic,” Nate said, stepping in to adjust the red silk tie. “Why are you so nervous? You’ve been to plenty of these events.”
Jay grinned. “I’ve never had a date to one though.”
Nate stepped back and cocked his head from one side to the other, studying Jay from head to toe. “Perfect.”
Jay glanced down at the new black suit Nate and Wyn had helped him pick out. He’d never been to a prom, but in his heart, he knew even prom couldn’t hold a candle to the dance he was about to attend on Erico’s arm.
“Love looks good on you,” Nate commented, a silly grin on his face.
Jay smiled and pressed his finger to his lips. “Shhh, that’s a secret.”
“No it isn’t,” Nate informed him.
“Yes it is. I’m hoping to tell him tonight for the first time,” Jay clarified.
Nate shook his head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you tell the whole town with your eyes every time the two of you are out in public together.”
Jay could feel his face heat as a blush crept up his neck. “Do you think Erico knows?”
Nate nodded. “I’m sure of it.”
“Then why hasn’t he said anything?” Jay asked, slipping into his shiny new black loafers. Nate had already shown him how to rough up the soles with a piece of sandpaper so they wouldn’t be so slippery on the wet pavement outside.
Nate laughed, grabbed Jay’s face between his hands and kissed him. “I don’t think there’s a single person in town who hasn’t warned him about pressuring you. I would imagine he’s in self-preservation mode.”
Jay didn’t like the sound of that. “People are threatening him?”
Nate stepped back and picked up his fancy topcoat. “Not threatening exactly. More like keeping an eye on him. You’ve got a lot of friends in Cattle Valley. People who care a great deal about you. It’s only natural for them to want to protect you from someone with Erico’s reputation.”
“He doesn’t deserve that. Erico’s given me more in the last month and a half than anyone else in my life.”
Nate shrugged into his coat and opened the door to Jay’s apartment. “I know that. I can tell a big difference in you since the two of you have been together. Maybe it’s time you let the rest of the town know.”
Nate departed without another word, and Jay was left wondering what his friend expected him to do.
* * * *
“Stay right there,” Erico said before jumping out of the SUV and going around to open Jay’s door. He couldn’t believe how gorgeous his lover looked all dressed up. As their relationship progressed, Erico was aware Jay only seemed to wear eye makeup on special occasions. Erico hoped it was a sign Jay was slowly starting to feel good with or without the help of Maybelline.
Erico held out his hand and Jay immediately took it. Once Jay was standing in front of him, Erico lifted his lover’s hand and kissed it.
“Thank you, kind sir,” Jay said with a slight giggle.
“Tonight is yours,” Erico replied. He felt bad that he hadn’t been able to give Jay a proper Valentine’s Day the night before. Because the day was a busy one for restaurants, they’d both had to work, although they had met up afterwards.
As Erico walked Jay into the lodge, he couldn’t keep his eyes off him. He reminded himself to thank Nate and Wyn for helping Jay with his suit.
“Would you stop looking at me like that?” Jay chuckled, his cheeks red.
“Sorry, but I can’t do that,” Erico stated honestly. “Promise you’ll only have eyes for me tonight.”
Jay grinned and laid his head on Erico’s shoulder as they waited to get into the ballroom. “I don’t know. Joey and Gracie should be here and you know how much they love their Uncle Jay.”
Jay turned and pressed himself against Erico. “I will promise to save every dance for you though.”
Erico pretended to mull it over. “Okay. I’ll share you with anyone under the age of seven, but that’s where I draw the line.”
Erico handed their tickets over and led Jay into the beautifully decorated room. “Wow. It looks like a flower shop exploded in here.”
“I think you’re right,” Jay agreed.
“Where would you like to sit?” Erico asked.
Jay glanced around the room and pointed towards a big round table. “There are a couple of empty chairs.”
“Looks good. It’ll give me a chance to get to know Asa a little better.” Er
ico put his hand on the small of Jay’s back and followed him to the table. “Are these taken?”
“They are now,” Mario said. “I was just about to go for a drink run, care to join me?”
Erico helped Jay with his chair before kissing him lightly on the lips. “What would you like?”
Jay bit his plump lower lip. “Well, I’d like to try a glass of champagne, but I see Ryan over there, so I’d better stick with some punch.”
Erico smiled and nodded before heading towards the bar with Mario at his side.
“Does it ever bother you that you’re dating a man who isn’t even legal to drink?” Mario asked.
Erico shook his head. “Jay isn’t an age to me. Guess I just don’t think about it.”
Mario clapped him on the back so hard it nearly sent Erico ass over tea kettle. He straightened and narrowed his eyes. “What the hell was that for?”
Mario leaned an elbow on the bar. “Good answer.”
Erico adjusted his suit jacket. “Next time just say that, okay?”
Mario chuckled. “Wimp.”
Erico ordered two glasses of champagne. If Ryan wanted to kick up a fuss, Erico would swear they both belonged to him.
“Uh oh. There goes your date,” Mario said, gesturing across the room.
Erico wasn’t surprised to see Jay holding Joey. He knew how much Jay loved the little guy. “This town’s going to have to find themselves a new babysitter.”
“I wouldn’t hold my breath if I was you,” Mario said as Gracie ran over to Jay.
“At least he waited until I left the table,” he finally said. He may pretend he was jealous, but Erico loved seeing Jay with the kids. It was the main reason he’d first fallen for the man. Well, that and those sexy shorts Jay was fond of wearing.
Glasses in hand, he walked back to the table.
“Sorry,” Asa chuckled. “Jay spotted Joey in his little suit and couldn’t resist.”
Erico set down the champagne and walked over to Bo and Rance’s table. He waved to Lark and Kade before narrowing his gaze at Bo. “Dammit, Bo, Jay’s my date tonight.”