He stepped onto the car with his heart hammering so hard he may as well have been walking up twenty flights of stairs, not taking the elevator down. Watching the numbers above the doors flash in decreasing double digits, he knew only one thing with absolute certainty.
Building a family was harder than building a business. And a whole helluva lot more exciting. Nina, her children and her bubby were the fulfillment he'd been looking for all his life.
Chapter Fourteen
From the moment she'd awakened Monday morning, Nina had sensed the day was going to be atypical. Usually ready to leap into her week, today she'd gotten in the shower and forgotten to wash her hair. Then she'd scorched the eggs she'd intended to give her kids for breakfast and had substituted a quick bowl of raisin bran with organic soy milk instead. Zach had said the soy milk tasted like “feet,” but the new doctor had strictly prohibited dairy products until Zach's asthma was under control.
“I'll buy rice milk today,” she'd promised her son, but he'd left for school grumpy and talking about child abuse.
Things hadn't gone much better with Izzy. Over the weekend, Isabella had announced her interest in becoming a vegetarian. Nina had thought her daughter would wade slowly into this new venture-if at all- and hadn't thought twice about making her daughter's beloved tuna sandwich with relish and olives on a kaiser roll for lunch. Izzy said she couldn't possibly eat anything that had had a mother, which eliminated the option of the school cafeteria's hamburger day. To insure that her children ingested something more than chips and soda, Nina had sent them to school then made a new lunch for Izzy, and a dairy-free, sugar-free, wheat-free snack for Zach. She drove to the school to deliver the parcels, and had just returned to the condo. It was 12:15, she hadn't had her own breakfast yet, and her shining face was a makeup-free zone.
She was finally sitting down to a bowl of oatmeal and the Chicago Sun-Times when David came through the front door.
A wide smile split her face. Probably had oatmeal between her teeth, but what the hell. She rose from the kitchen counter, crossed to him and moved easily into large, strong arms that promptly wrapped around her.
He rested his face in her hair. “Exactly the greeting I hoped for,” he murmured. “Right down to the toes.”
“Beg your pardon?”
Without moving to look at the digits in question, he said, “Your feet are bare. I noticed when I walked in. I like your bare feet, very uniform toes.”
“Hmm.” Nina snuggled more deeply into his embrace. There was definitely something to be said for a man's bulkier muscles; she felt locked in a warm, safe place. If they'd been dating awhile she might have told him all about her crappy morning and looked for a consoling smooch. Under the circumstance, she contented herself with the hug.
“Sit down,” he said, giving her an affectionate pat on the rump. “Finish your…” He looked in the bowl and raised a brow. “Breakfast?”
“Late start,” she said, wishing he'd go on holding her; in fact, wishing they could sneak off to his bedroom or hers and make love again. Spending all night and most of a day in bed with David had used her body better than it had ever been used before. And it had shut off her mind. Without worries, without burdens, she had been able to experience her body and his, to relax into pleasure in a way she never had before. Nina knew that release had been possible because she trusted David.
The trust, too, was easier, deeper than anything she'd felt in the past. A reluctant sigh accompanied her slipping out of his arms and returning to the kitchen stool.
He smiled. “I like hearing that. Makes a man feel wanted.”
“Oh, you are.” She picked up her spoon, swirled it through the oatmeal. “But this is a workday, and I assume you've come home to discuss a very important function you want me to arrange. We can go Indian this time if you like. There's a lovely woman from Mumbai in Bubby's building. She's ninety now, but very spry. I'll see if she's available to help cater.”
A high-beam smile lit the handsome face that looked as if it had never had a hard knock. “Funny. You're very sassy, Miss Baxter.”
She batted her lashes at him. “My boss likes it.”
Taking the stool beside hers, he grinned down. “Yes, he does.”
They could have grown awkward with each when her kids had come home Saturday night, but the transition back to family life had been far, far easier than Nina would have believed. David had not flirted or tried to see Nina in private; he hadn't expected her to sneak into his bed with her kids in the house. His behavior in front of her children hadn't changed at all. She was grateful.
But he had left her a note tucked into a corner of her bathroom mirror Sunday night. It had read simply, Miss you, Beautiful.
This was the first time she'd seen David since she'd found the paper, so she said now, “Thank you for my note.”
He cast her an admirably blank look. “I'm sorry, Miss Baxter, we're all about business here. Unless you're referring to a memo, I'm afraid I can't discuss my personal life with an employee.”
Nina smiled, just a tad smugly. He was being flip, but the truth was he couldn't afford to ignore the impact their being lovers might have on his business life any more than she could ignore the effect on her children. Fortunately Nina had already decided on an eminently sensible plan. In fact, it was more than sensible; it was exciting.
She, Bubby and Janet had worked so well together in the kitchen that at one point Nina had mentioned they should all go into the catering business. Janet's eyes had lit with interest until she'd realized Nina had spoken tongue-in-cheek. But during the past twenty-four hours, Nina had decided the idea of starting her own business was nothing to laugh at. Why not party planning? Fun affairs with a sense of humor or a sense of elegance, but always at a respectable price.
Three Yentas. That's what they could call their firm. And in addition to party planning, they would provide hot, wonderful meals for busy people to purchase on a daily basis. David would continue to be her client, but he'd contract her as he would any other independent businessperson. He would no longer be her boss. Judging from the response they'd received after his party, they'd be busier than they needed to be in no time.
And, Nina would be able to move out.
Since being widowed, Janet lived alone in a house that she claimed was far too quiet. Nina hadn't asked her yet, but she had a feeling the other woman would agree to a work-rent situation.
Nina had always known she wanted something more than office work. Now she could pursue a career, a business of her own that truly excited her, and she could pursue a relationship with David without raising eyebrows. They could go out on dates, for crying out loud!
“What, I wonder, is making you smile?” David's voice rolled softly into her thoughts.
“I was thinking about how much everyone enjoyed Friday night.”
He leaned toward her, close to her neck, where she felt his lips graze her ear. “I certainly did.”
The first whispering touch made her breathless. One minute she was excited to tell him about her plans for the future; the next, she was excited about him.
“I'm sorry,” she said, controlling her voice as much as possible, “but, as you pointed out, I'm not at liberty to discuss private affairs in a business setting. You'll have to- Oh!”
David swept an arm under her legs and lifted her into his arms. Nina grinned as he carried her from the kitchen. Her arms curled around his neck. “This is highly unacceptable behavior from a boss.”
“You got that right,” he growled.
“I don't suppose we're heading to the office for a little dictation?”
“Did I ask you to bring a pen?”
“I didn't finish my oatmeal.”
He stopped and frowned down at her. She hid her smile as he wrestled with good manners and a man's desire. When he looked at her closely enough to notice the faint curl of her lips, he carried her to the refrigerator, yanked open the door, told her to grab a can of whipped cream and a ja
r of peanut butter, then kicked the door closed.
“Peanut butter?” Nina hooked a brow as she balanced the jar and the can of whipped cream on her stomach.
Jaw set with determination, David didn't look down as he strode to his bedroom. “Trust me.”
“Oh yes, that is soooo…mmmmm. Why is it so good like this?” Nina asked from her place in the middle of David's bed.
“It's the freedom. And the honesty.” He reached into the jar of peanut butter with a forefinger, as Nina had been doing for the past few minutes, pulled up a neat blob and ate it slowly. “My guess is you've been using bread because you thought you had to. Now, for the first time, you realize there are no rules.”
“God, you're smart.” She licked her finger clean. “No rules for peanut butter.” Running her tongue thoroughly over her lips, she shook her head. “You've shown me a whole new world, Mr. Hanson.”
Grinning and sticky, they leaned forward to kiss. The sheet and thin blanket on David's bed were puddled around Nina's waist. The peanut butter was a concession to the fact that he'd interrupted her breakfast, but the whipped cream…
Ahhhh, the things David Hanson could do with a can of whipped cream…. It was enough to make a pastry chef blush.
David was also naked beneath the covers, which dipped low enough for Nina to see the silky hair that trailed from his flat belly to the V of his legs.
“Is this why you came home from work?” she asked, shamelessly batting her lashes.
“I came home to talk,” David said, replacing the lid on the peanut-butter jar and leaning over to set it on the end table. He glanced wryly at the bare breasts that had occupied him for the past hour. “I got distracted.”
Lightly tackling her, he pressed her down to the bed. Brushing blond curls from her eyes, he spoke softly.
“I'm probably going to bungle this, so hear me out before you say anything, okay?”
Bemused by the frown that drew one thin line between his brows, she nodded.
David reached for one of her hands, raised it to his lips. “Making love with you has been a revelation. You're loving, generous, shy one minute and wild the next.” He narrowed his eyes. “Which is a very big turn-on, by the way.” He slid his fingers through hers till their palms touched. “I love what just happened, but…” His pause tapped a fissure of worry into Nina's mind. “I came home to tell you I don't want to sneak around like a couple of kids. I'm too old for that. Conducting a relationship in secret…” He shook his head. “It isn't going to work for me, Nina.”
Nina's stomach lurched. Was he about to give her the brush-off? She tried to pull her hand back, but he held fast. “Let me make it clear up front that I do not plan to give up sex with you. But living together, working together, sleeping together-it's thorny.”
Suddenly she understood: He really was going to fire her.
Nina wasn't a hundred-percent certain whether she should hit him or kiss him. She didn't like the idea of being fired for sleeping with the boss, but giving up the job-not him-was exactly her plan, too.
“I've been thinking-”
“I've given it some thought-”
They spoke at the same time.
“You first,” Nina said.
Releasing her hand, David let his fingers play in the dip between her collarbones. “I have a new job for you. It's big.”
He'd found her a different job? “What is it?”
“I want you to plan another party. But this one has nothing to do with Hanson's.”
Nina's concern turned to anticipation. “Oh!” She smiled. “Hey, Mr. Hanson, I think we may be on the same wavelength.”
He took a breath, held it a moment. “I hope so.” With his index finger, David traced a path between her breasts. “This party will be the biggest I've ever thrown. I know you worry about budgets-”
“On principle-”
“But this time there's no holding back. I mean it. I want this to be a front-page affair.”
Nina was starting to get excited, and not only because David's fingers sent shivers racing over her skin. His party could dovetail perfectly with her idea. It could be Three Yentas' first official job.
“How many guests?”
“I'm not sure about the details yet. We'll have to hammer that out as we go along. But I'd like it to take place outdoors…if the guest of honor agrees.”
“Who's your guest of honor?”
David rolled over Nina in a most unbusinesslike way. He stared down, looking as serious as she'd ever seen him.
“You.”
The moment had not gone at all the way he'd planned.
David had never before asked anyone to marry him. He'd never come close. If he had, perhaps he'd have planned the moment more effectively: champagne, roses, an evening out. His proposal certainly couldn't have gone any worse.
When he'd finally blurted the words, “Let's get married,” Nina had looked like he'd asked her to bungee jump…without the cord.
Now the two of them stood across the room from each other, buttoning their clothes. She'd jumped out of bed first to get dressed, and he'd followed-not a good omen. Seemed that a successful marriage proposal ought to lead to undressing.
Tucking his shirttail into his trousers, he waited for her to snap her jeans before he said, “I take it the answer is no?”
She winced at his tone. “This is happening a little fast, don't you think? I mean we just started…”
“Sleeping together?” he supplied when she stumbled. He heard the sarcasm in his voice, couldn't keep it out.
“Yes.” Nina's expression held a mix of pain and frustration. “We haven't even had a first date, David. The word premature does come to mind.” She shoved a hand into her hair. “I mean, what did you think? That out of the clear blue you'd announce you want to be a father and husband, and I'd jump up and say, 'Yippee, where's the ring?'”
Yes, he'd thought that. That was exactly how he'd pictured it.
He knew it was time to back down, let her have some space. In business, he'd always known when to ease off the pedal and when to go full throttle. He couldn't find that same willingness here. He felt only the drive to turn a no into a yes. At least to a maybe. It was as if her refusal were turning his blood into something toxic, something caustic that burned with every beat of his heart.
“Let's say we back up.” He tried to measure his tone, to sound more equable than he felt. “Let's say we begin again, start going on actual dates. We'll slow everything way down. Can you see yourself getting married this year? Next year?”
It was the wrong question. She didn't like it, and it made him sound pathetic as hell, but he couldn't seem to take it back. Before she started speaking, he knew he wouldn't want to hear the answer.
Like a cornered cat, ready to jump or hiss, Nina said, “I've been married once already. I don't know if I ever want to marry again. If I did, it wouldn't be for a very long time. Maybe after Zach and Izzy are in college.” Her eyes entreated him to understand. “My family's welfare has to come first.”
She raised her chin in a gesture that bespoke resolution, and though her expression was not without compassion, David knew it was over, just like that. He felt a knife slice his heart as easily as if it were slipping through butter. He'd made a critical mistake; he was not part of her family, yet for an unguarded moment he had allowed himself to believe he could be.
He loved Nina. He was sure of it. He'd seen a new life with her in his arms, and it had felt so good and so right he hadn't wanted to spend another minute alone.
When he'd rushed home, he'd been thinking about his needs, not hers. She didn't need him to make her feel loved or cherished or full. She had that already. In one form or another she'd always had it.
He was the one who'd driven through his life with his gauge on empty and hadn't even realized it until now.
Sensations he couldn't identify, wasn't sure he wanted to identify, poured into his chest like blood.
The last time he'd felt th
is desperate, this hungry, his parents had been packing for yet another business trip that would keep them away for yet another Thanksgiving. David had been six; George had been a young man and had accompanied their folks. While their father and George had taken the luggage to the car, David had flung himself against his mother's legs and begged her to stay with him. He was going to be a Native American in the Thanksgiving play at school.
His mother had been gentle, but firm. She'd reminded him that they all had jobs to do: his was to be an Indian in the play; hers was to travel with Daddy. The housekeeper and the nanny had had to peel David away. The day of the play, he'd thrown up on a pilgrim and had had to lie on a cot backstage until the show was all over.
He hadn't thought of that in years. It was a helluva memory to have now. Classic maudlin, old-wound crap. The kind of thing Oprah would eat up and a hundred-and-fifty-dollar-an-hour shrink would yawn over.
But enough to remind him that he would never, ever be that desperate again. He'd been too hungry with Nina, moved too fast.
And he'd forgotten that you couldn't take what someone else didn't have to give.
Chapter Fifteen
“I got some news for you.” Bubby hovered over Nina, a dish towel in one of the knotty-boned hands she'd plunked on her hips.
“What's the news?” Seated on Bubby's over-stuffed chair, which hadn't been reupholstered since 1979, Nina let her legs dangle over the arm and divided her attention between the bag of white-cheddar popcorn on her lap, the Fear Factor Miss USA episode she was watching on her grandmother's thirty-two-inch TV, and Bubby.
On the large screen, a bikini-clad beauty was about to be covered in a garden-fresh medley of maggots, hissing cockroaches and a few nonpoisonous (cross our fingers and hope to die) scorpions. Given her mood, Nina thought it was a sissy challenge.
Bubby picked the remote control off the edge of the seat cushion, near Nina's butt, and muted the terrified screams of Miss District of Columbia.
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