Mesmerized by the sight, I lift my arm and lightly brush his hair away so I can better see them. My lips curve into a satisfied smile as I run the tips of my fingers down his cheek, inhaling deeply. “I love you too, Dalton. I will only ever love you.”
His mouth tips up at its edges before he dips his head, unhurriedly brushing his lips against mine. Our mouths fuse and our breaths mingle as he gently caresses the tip of my tongue with his kiss. A kiss much different from the frantic, frenzied kisses we just experienced. It’s soft and tender, sweet and affectionate, as he communicates his love silently with deliberate movements.
I curl my arms around his neck and wordlessly respond as I sweep my tongue delicately along his. My fingers weave into the length of his hair just as he toes off his boots, kicking them to the side. Our lips remain joined as I release my grip and slowly trace my fingers across the soft skin of his exposed chest, smiling when his nipples harden with my touch. My thumbs skim lightly over their firmly raised surfaces, producing a light growl from his throat before I direct my hands downward. Just as my fingers hit the top of his jeans, he leans to the side, freeing the space I need to unbutton them.
As soon as they’re open, my hands run along his lower back before dipping under his boxers, the bare skin of his backside molding against my palms with my grip. I curl my fingers, massaging as I explore. His groan passes through my lips, only to turn into a deep rumble when I press his jeans and boxers over his hips, releasing him from their constriction. Together they hit his knees. Unable to maneuver them any further with my hands, I bend my leg and hook the top with my foot, pushing them the rest of the way. Once removed, he takes hold of them and reaches into his back pocket, revealing the silver glint of a condom wrapper as it’s pinched between his fingers.
I shake my head. “No condom necessary. I’m on the pill and you’ve been tested, right?”
He nods. “Never been without one.”
A light giggle passes through my lips. “Well, this is a first for us both, then.”
His eyes are warm with sincerity as he smiles. “You’re my first everything, Spence. First smile. First laugh. First love. ” All humor is slowly lost between us, brute honesty replacing it as he adds, “My life didn’t begin until the day I met you.”
I swallow the growing knot that threatens my throat and dip my head, my gaze never leaving his. Relenting, his muscles tremble as he lowers his body and realigns it with mine, nerves pricking my own body as his hardness skims the top of my thigh. It lands between my legs, positioned right at my entrance as we gaze at each other, the knowledge of what’s about to happen thickening the air around us. My heart thuds in my chest, nerves setting it into motion as it pounds furiously in my ears.
He centers his face with mine and his eyes taper at the sides with concern. “We can stop, Spence. We don’t have to do this. Not until you’re ready.”
My eyes latch onto his and root deeply in their conviction as I take a breath. My muscles relax and the knowledge that this is Dalton calms the flared insecurity. My Dalton. And there’s nothing I want more in this world than to share this experience with him. Nothing I want to give him more than this one gift. To relinquish all of me as we come together, fusing our pieces as we become solidified in one another.
Unbreakable.
One.
And with my lessening tension, a comforted smile crosses my face as I nod gently. “I’m ready. More than ready.”
Reaching forward, I pass my thumb across his lips, then shift my body in preparation as I maneuver him right where he needs to be. The head of his length barely skims my sensitive skin and the heat from its passing warms my insides. I curb the instinctive urge to shiver as I state with absolute honesty, “You claimed my heart years ago, Dalton, but now I want you to have all of me. Every single piece, together in body and soul, I offer freely because they already belong to you. All you have to do is accept them as you take me.”
His features soften with understanding as he processes my words. The corner of his mouth lifts into a subtle smile and he shakes his head as though in shock, then releases a light breath through his nose.
“My life hasn’t been one that I would wish on anyone. But you … God, Spencer. I would live this shitty life ten times over just to guarantee I’d have you in it. You are the reason I keep living. And to see you lying here, in front of me, asking me to take you?” His head moves back and forth. “It should be the other way around. I should be begging you to take me, for you to accept me, but I don’t have to because you do so without hesitation. It just … it absolutely blows my fucking mind. And it’s absolutely the reason I love you, and the reason I will continue to love you until the day I cease to exist.”
Unable to speak, I lift my arms to join our hands and interlock our fingers as I bring them back down by my head. His eyes hold mine one last time before he tightens his grip and bends his neck, lowering himself to touch his mouth against mine just before gently pressing his hardened erection into my body.
Already clutched tightly, my fingers burrow into the skin on top of his hands and I bite my lip to keep from crying out. His body stills and he rises, his concerned expression suspended above my face.
“Are you okay?”
With my teeth digging into my bottom lip, I lift my eyes and train my gaze on the crystalline orbs peering down at me. The clear blue is stripped and raw with vulnerability as he roams my features, assessing me. Once his eyes land on mine, I become lost as I’m helplessly fixed into their depths. Pain is no longer present as the warmth and strength of his love encompasses me, blanketing my apprehension as it solidifies the bond between us. I allow them to infuse and permeate my soul and as they relay their reassurance, my resolve strengthens and I dip my head gently.
“Yes. I’m okay.”
In affirmation, I tenderly squeeze his hands and prompt him, “Keep going.”
I rock my hips forward and the pressure mounts as he slowly moves forward, entering me fully. The feeling of his presence inside my body is completely foreign, but as our eyes remain joined, I’m overwhelmed with the knowledge that we are indeed one in this moment. Physically. Emotionally. Fused in every way possible.
“Goddamn, Spence. You feel so good. So perfect.”
Taking his time, he withdraws unhurriedly, then reenters just as slowly. A hiss passes through his teeth and as I watch him from below, my body starts to relax as my heart releases, both completely surrendered to him as we begin to move in unison. His hands press mine into the ground beneath us as he strokes me smoothly from the inside, and my body tightens in response as it tries to consume him. I can feel my muscles as they ravenously clench around his length, the hardened flesh growing with each entry.
He inhales sharply through his nose, his heavy lids shut completely. Lips parted, his eyes remain closed as he continues to thrust and I find myself emboldened by his reaction. My tongue draws across my own lips and with unquenchable need, I rise upward to capture his mouth with mine. Another moan passes as I selfishly invade the inside, my tongue plunging deeply as my body continues its rhythm with his. The moan changes into a deep, guttural growl as my teeth rake across his bottom lip. Greedily, he presses his weight forward, forcing me back as his tongue battles mine. His hips thrust harder and I lift my legs, wrapping them tightly around his waist as he buries himself deeply inside me.
Our movements begin to turn frantic, needy and desperate as our pace quickens.
Kisses become impatient.
Tongues and teeth wage war.
Grips tighten as we use the leverage to rock our bodies.
“Spencer…I…I’m not going to be able to hold off much longer…” he pants into the skin of my neck.
I purposely tighten around him as he thrusts again. Completely lost in the moment, lost in him, all my inhibitions seem to vanish as well as I moan, “Then don’t. I want to feel you come inside me.”
Dalton stills and goosebumps rise along my glistening skin as he rises. Centering
his face with mine, his eyes narrow as he pumps once more.
“Say it again.”
I meet his thrust and a wicked grin tugs at my lips. “I want to feel…” I break to stifle my groan as he fills me. My legs squeeze tightly as I hold him in place while circling my hips. “I want to feel you come inside me. Please, Dalton,” I whimper.
His bottom lip is drawn between his teeth as he rolls his eyes back into his head, and my smile breaks free as I watch him. I continue to stare, mesmerized by his reaction to my movements. Finally, he bends at the neck and focuses his gaze on me. His mouth quirks up at the edges as he breathes, “You’re so beautiful, Spence.”
He lowers his head, kissing me deeply before nestling it into my neck. The warmth of his rapid breaths elicits an involuntary shiver, and the softness of his dampened hair tickles my skin as he begins to move. Our fingers remain interlaced, their hold tightening with each new thrust until he draws his hips back and rises, pressing his weight onto our clutched hands as he trains his gaze on my face. His eyes roam my features.
“So. Fucking. Beautiful.”
With one lengthy stroke, he drives his arousal forward until it’s fully embedded in my body. Upon impact, my back arches off the ground and with my legs still circled around his waist, I pull my hips flush with his so I can receive him in his entirety. His fingers dig into my hand, but his eyes never leave mine as his body shudders with his release.
I hold his gaze, the intensity of the moment robbing me of my breath. Because as he continues to stare, his eyes silently communicate that he has just given me all that he is. Tears rise in my eyes as I breathe in deeply, absorbing every piece he offers. I consume his anger, his heartbreak, his revulsion, even his agony—taking each and every broken shard into my heart as I cleanse them from his soul.
Still hovering above me, his chest expands as it fills with a long breath before he lowers his head and brushes his lips over mine. I taste the salt of his skin as our mouths are sealed, and with his deepening kiss, I know he is thanking me. I stroke his tongue with mine, comforting him as his muscles tremble above me. His relief floods the inside of my own chest in response and the feeling overwhelms me. I break the kiss to survey his reaction. A contented grin crosses his face before he places a gentle kiss on the naked skin above my heart, his lips lingering as he inhales deeply.
Disjoining our hands, he unclenches his grip to stroke my cheek with the tip of his finger before leaning to the side and sliding out of me. The movement is unhurried as he gently withdraws from my body. I wince and suck in a breath with the burn of his removal and concern flashes in his eyes.
“I’m okay, Dalton.” I giggle. “I’m not going to break. I’m just sore.” Pulling the sleeping bag over my shoulder, I curl onto Dalton’s chest and continue laughing. “It looks like the stars weren’t the only witnesses tonight. Spiderman got a good show as well.”
Dalton’s body shakes with silent laughter as he wraps his fingers over my shoulder. “Pervert.”
My cheek presses into his heated skin with my grin. We remain quiet, the intermittent sound of the light breeze the only noise which breaks the silence around us. His fingers trace lightly along my skin before moving to my hair and stroking it softly. Minutes pass before he finally speaks.
“Why didn’t you tell me about … before? Your past, I mean.” His voice is low, barely above a whisper.
I take his hand, weaving our fingers together. The strength of his grip as his hand encases mine gives me the courage I need to answer. “I don’t know, really. I guess it’s just easier to pretend my fears remain in the past. That they no longer affect me. That I no longer dream about that room, and that I no longer need the security of a night light to help me sleep.”
I rise off his chest, resting my head in my hand as it’s braced by my elbow. Dalton twists to face me, his expression dipping downward. “I never wanted you to see that ugly part of me. I wanted to be strong for you and I guess I felt if you knew about my past, you would see me differently.”
“I do see you differently,” he responds immediately. I remain expressionless, but my heart stammers in my chest as the words leave his mouth. He tightens his hold on my hand. “But not the way you think. I underestimated you with my need to protect you all the time. I mistook your kindness and generosity for weakness that needed defense. But knowing you, all of you … well, your strength is undeniable, Spence.”
He pauses, swallowing deeply. “I know firsthand how abuse can break a person. How damaging the effects can be as they whittle away at your will to live. How they carve away your humanity as they completely hollow you out, leaving you a shell of your former self when they’re finally done. But you…” He narrows his eyes on mine. “You are far from broken. Even though you still have your struggles, you find the strength to try to help others, to guide them through their own issues as you lead the way. Your positivity radiates to everyone around you, and those who are lucky enough to be in your presence will forever be changed by your ability to heal with something as simple as a touch or a smile.”
His lips form a shy grin as he releases my hand and reaches to stroke my cheek with his fingers. “And being given the opportunity to experience those things is something for which I will forever be thankful. You have changed me, altered my perception of a life I loathed and given me the strength to try to change it.”
He tightens his gaze as he gingerly cups my face with the palm of his hand. “I will find a way to get out from under Silas. Please know that. You are everything to me, Spence. Your safety means everything. And in order to guarantee that safety, I need to sever those ties. I will sever those ties. It’s the only way we can be together.”
I nod, but my throat constricts as the words he so angrily spoke not too long ago race to the forefront of my mind…
“Do you still think you can help me? Save me from a life in which there is absolutely no way out, other than death?”
I hold his eyes and lean forward, placing a kiss on his mouth. As I breathe him in, I try to shake the nagging feeling lodged in the pit of my stomach. He curls his arm around my neck and draws me closer, and as he does, all my supposed strength withers away and my gut churns as the fear hardens.
For the first time since knowing him, I find myself consumed with foreboding worry that a situation has finally presented itself in which not even Dalton Greer can survive.
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER, we’ve packed up everything and painstakingly make our way back to my car. Not wanting to end our time together, I relive of the absolute best night of my life as Spencer and I walk hand in hand.
After eating a blissful meal of lukewarm mac and cheese, for which I apologized profusely, and downing a glass of champagne, we laid on our backs staring in silence at the darkened sky. With our hands joined, my thumb stroked along the softness of Spencer’s skin as I allowed myself to become lost in the sight above me, disappearing into the darkness as though I was seeing the glimmer of every single star above me for the very first time.
I found myself captivated by the feeling and astounded by the realization of the beauty surrounding me. Things that seemed so dull and trite before seemed so alive. The gleam of the stars in the night sky, the fragrance of the flowers that surrounded us, the hint of chill in the breeze that cooled our heated bodies … I felt all of them for the first time in almost nineteen years. And in that moment, I opened my heart and my mind, allowing Spencer’s essence to invade my senses—the sweet scent of her hair as it fanned my face, the delicious taste of her skin as my mouth ravaged her, the soothing feel of her velvet skin skimming mine.
With the memories stirred, my cock stirs within the confines of my jeans and I adjust myself as we walk, the denim scraping against my bare skin with the loss of my boxers. The same boxers I used to tenderly wipe away the loss of Spencer’s innocence, the sight alone reminding me of the inherent trust she places in me. A trust which remains a complete enigma, but one I will forever honor. Because with the gift of that t
rust, I find meaning as I’m driven to become a better person. To be the man she believes me to be. The man I can become.
I know that now.
As we arrive at my Camaro, I release her hand, throwing everything into the trunk before meeting her by the passenger side door. Her hair moves softly as it’s taken by the breeze, and I tuck a piece behind her ear before curling my fingers around the back of her neck. My thumb lightly skims along the surface of her cheek and the corner of my mouth lifts when she gifts me a shy smile in return. Her blue eyes are practically child-like, exuding pure joy and happiness as she gazes back at me. I shake my head in disbelief at this angel standing in front of me, watching me with distinct adoration, as though I could take on the entire world.
Simply amazing.
My mouth aches for just one more taste, so I lower my head and lightly sweep my tongue across the seam of her lips. They part upon the touch, and my grip on her neck tightens as I pull her flush against my body. Our tongues meet almost timidly as they softly stroke the other, and as a light whimper escapes her, I’m forced to break the kiss with a smile.
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she grins back. “Thank you, Dalton. It was the perfect night. Everything was just perfect.”
The apples of her cheeks take on a pinkish hue as a blush creeps across her face. I smile with its appearance, leaning in to press my lips gently on the warming skin before opening her door. The silver of the puzzle heart held within her grasp catches my eye. I grin with its representation, knowing tonight both our hearts and bodies fit perfectly together just as the giant magnet she holds in between her hands. And just like the heart she clutches so closely, mine is also nestled safely within her possession, exactly where it should be.
Under the Influence Page 15