by Amber Carew
A burning need scorched through her. She needed much more than this and she needed it now. She needed to join with him, to know what it was like to feel him inside her, to be together in that most intimate of ways. The desire filled her, pushing out every other thought.
"Oh, Nyte," she murmured against his lips, then swirled her tongue inside his mouth. She drew her hands down his chest and eased them inside his shirt, ignoring the buttons popping from the fabric. "I want you. I need you."
He stiffened and, to her complete surprise, his hands covered hers and he eased her away from him. She glanced up to see his eyes tightly closed. He seemed to be battling some inner demons.
"What is it, Nyte?"
His hands still shook, and she wondered if it was an aftereffect of the teleportation-gone-wrong. Or something else. Something to do with her.
"Lucinda, we can’t."
The temperature of her blood spiraled to zero.
"But... I thought you wanted this?"
"I do. I mean, I did. But not now."
He did? As in, he no longer wanted her? Not now? Now that she wanted him?
Her stomach sank to her ankles and her heart felt like Merlin had used it for a scratching post.
He raised her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles, lingering so long she wondered if he might change his mind. Then he released her and turned away.
"I’m going for a walk. Have dinner without me."
She stared after him. Had she lost him after all?
* * * *
Lucinda stroked Merlin distractedly as she munched a tidbit of chicken from her plate. She didn’t really want to eat--her stomach was too queasy from the turmoil of emotions churning through her--but it provided a way to fill the time. And she didn’t want Nyte to return and think she’d been pining after him.
"I don’t get it, Merlin. All along Nyte has been making a big play for me, telling me I’m his woman, acting as though he wants me more than anything in the world."
Merlin nudged her hand and she realized she’d stopped petting him. She dragged her hand the length of his silken back, the feel of his purring under her hand soothing.
"But when I practically throw myself at him, he doesn’t want me."
"Mrreow."
"No, I don’t get the impression he’s the kind of man who would mind me being too forward."
Or was he? When she’d first sensed his magical energy, she’d been swept away by the intensity of it and had fallen into his arms. The attraction had been so strong, if he had really wanted her, all he’d had to do was coax her and she’d have been his. But he hadn’t.
Had her aggressiveness turned him off?
She tugged a handful of hair back from her face. Maybe she was just being paranoid. When Nyte had returned from wherever he’d gone during teleportation, he’d been physically shaken. The last thing he’d needed to deal with was her and her raging hormones.
Damn, what had happened to him?
"That’s another thing," she said to Merlin. "Something very strange happened to him, and he was badly shaken, but instead of talking to me about it, he left."
She couldn’t help feeling hurt about that.
She remembered reading in the book about men being from Mars and women from Venus that a man will go off to his cave when he has a problem to solve. Or go off for a walk in Nyte’s case. A man liked to think it through by himself rather than talk it out, like a woman would. The book advised the woman to try to understand and not take it personally.
As the woman sitting outside the cave waiting, Lucinda found it pretty hard not to take it personally.
* * * *
Nyte sat on a large rock staring at the stars. Lights twinkled across the lake, leaving bands of color rippling on the water’s surface.
He liked this place. A small island in the middle of a huge lake. It was peaceful. Calm. A great place to think.
He had a lot to think about now that his memory had returned.
In retrospect, it made sense that teleporting would do it. The shock of separating mind from body must have jolted his system--just the way it had centuries ago--and flung his memories back into place.
Vibrant images told him his body had been destroyed over a millennium ago. He must have been hurled through time, the trauma robbing him of his memory.
Nyte picked up a stone and skipped it across the surface of the lake. The delicate plinking noise echoed across the water.
Now he had to face two extremely disturbing facts. One, he and Randalph shared a far closer relationship than he had ever suspected. And, two, Randalph had betrayed him in a way far too devastating to believe possible.
His fists clenched and he glanced upward. A shooting star flashed across the sky.
What had happened between him and Randalph so many years ago had affected more than their lives, it had affected Lucinda’s, too. In a very fundamental way.
Lucinda had not really received The Call to be Nyte’s mentor--and Randalph should never have been hers.
How would he explain all this to Lucinda? Would it confuse her needlessly at a time when she needed all her focus to sort out her feelings for him? He didn’t want to slow down her progress by clouding the issue so, at this point, he didn’t know what he should tell her and what he shouldn’t.
One thing he did know for sure, however. Having seen how close Lucinda and Randalph were, he could not tell her how Randalph had betrayed him. At least, not until he understood it himself.
He had to confront Randalph, and soon, but right now he felt too raw, the wound too open to expose to more pain. He needed time.
He glanced at the watch Lucinda had given him. He would have to go back soon. Lucinda would be worried.
He shouldn’t have left her at all, but he’d needed time alone. To think. And to absorb the horrendous images that now plagued him. The jumble of feelings whirling through him had left him disoriented. If he’d stayed, he might have let something slip that he’d later regret.
He didn’t want to hurt Lucinda. At least, any more than she would be already.
He’d have to handle this whole situation with delicacy.
* * * *
Lucinda offered Merlin a morsel of chicken. He munched the tidbit thoroughly, then licked her fingertips with his sandpaper tongue.
She wished Nyte would return. She was really worried about him.
"I wonder what happened to Nyte when he teleported."
It had been about fifteen minutes from the time Nyte had disappeared to the time he had reappeared outside, at least from Lucinda’s point of view. For Nyte it could have been much longer. Or shorter, for that matter.
"Do you think whatever happened might have changed how he feels about me? Or...."
She circled her hands around Merlin’s chest, behind his front legs, and lifted him until they stared at each other square in the face.
"...do you think he never really felt that way about me at all?"
The thought trembled through her.
Merlin continued to stare, unblinking, into her eyes and mewed.
"He kept telling me I was meant to be his woman, and I kind of translated that to mean...."
She stopped. Good gracious, had she been about to say love? But he couldn’t possibly have meant he loved her. He’d only known her a few days.
She plopped Merlin onto her lap and petted him firmly, from head to tail, with first one hand, then the other, allowing the constant thrumming of his purr to settle her nerves.
"He must have been talking about lust, that’s all."
About wanting her in his bed. And now, for whatever reason, he didn’t even want that. What had changed his mind?
Again, she remembered how he had pulled back the first time she had initiated a kiss between them. She petted Merlin more intensely, with long, soothing strokes.
"Or maybe it was just a way to make me feel special, out of gratitude."
In fact, some men charmed every female they came in contact with.
Had Nyte just been sharpening his female-handling skills on her?
She’d been fool enough to fall for it. Fool enough to believe a man like Nyte would find her attractive when even Rand, her own mentor, didn’t find her worthy of pursuing.
Loneliness crept through her.
Damn, now she was starting to feel sorry for herself. She picked up Merlin and cuddled him close. He licked her cheek, his coarse tongue rough against her skin. She scratched behind his ear.
The pain she’d suffered when she thought she might never see Nyte again welled up inside her once more.
"Oh, man, the worst of it is, I’d actually started to feel...." Her heart throbbed painfully. "I mean, I think maybe I...."
She let the sentence trail off. Again, she couldn’t mean love.
She hugged Merlin to her once again. All she knew for sure was this feeling she had for Nyte was a powerful force.
"Maybe you what, Lucinda?"
She swung around to see Nyte draped casually against the doorway.
He looked relaxed, but she could tell there was an edge to him. Something was simmering beneath those granite eyes.
Chapter 11
Nyte stood at the door, watching Lucinda cuddle her cat, and his heart ached at the haunting sadness he saw in her eyes. How lonely she must have been over the years.
Since Randalph had been chosen as her mentor in Nyte’s place, she had spent her lifetime believing she should fall in love with a man whom Fate had never intended her to bond with. What had that done to her self-confidence? She would know deep inside she could never love Randalph, and would sense that he could never love her in return, yet her conscious mind wouldn’t believe those instincts.
No wonder she didn’t trust her attraction to Nyte.
Yet she seemed on the verge of losing the struggle against loving him.
"I, uh...," she stammered, then gave up and just stared at him.
He sighed and stepped into the room. The cat leaped from her arms and bounded out the door.
He had to help her get past the barriers she’d built against her own intuition, and he knew the best way to do that.
"You haven’t mistaken my feelings for you, Lucinda." He crouched in front of her and took her hands. "I am grateful to you for helping me, but that has nothing to do with this...."
He drew her from her chair and into his arms. He found her mouth with his. The delicate feel of her soft lips under his ignited the passion boiling deep in his heart. For her and her alone. He allowed it to pour into her, to seep into every cell of her being. He loved her and he wanted her to feel the full force of it.
When he pulled back, one look at her wide, luminescent eyes staring into his, and he was certain he’d convinced her she was more to him than just a good Samaritan.
But had he convinced her he loved her?
He stroked the hair from her face, entwining his fingers in the soft waves over her ears. The feel of her hair against his skin, the sweet, delicate scent of her tickling his awareness, the warmth of her energy curling through him--all sent his senses whirling. How empty his life had been before experiencing the sheer joy of holding this special woman in his arms. She added depth, and color, and light to everything around him. Nothing he’d ever experienced could compare to loving Lucinda.
"Surely you must know what I feel for you is more than lust." He stroked his thumbs across her silken cheeks and murmured, "I told you, you are my woman, and that means for always."
The remaining doubt in her eyes clawed at his insides. He closed the inches between them and caressed her lips with his own. The sweet sensation of her mouth on his sent his blood pressure pulsing to the clouds and turned his heart upside down.
He stroked her lips with the tip of his finger, savoring the soft moistness of her flesh.
"And that also means I am your man. Never doubt that."
Her man? Lucinda desperately wanted to believe that. She had wanted to be loved for such a long time, to be special to one person in a way that would bind them forever, but she had hidden that need in the depths of her soul, buried under a pile of painful memories where even she couldn’t find it.
Her relationship with Rand, as close as it was, had never filled the emptiness. And she had now come to accept it never would.
But dare she believe that Nyte truly loved her?
What she saw in the simmering depths of his midnight eyes told her he spoke the truth. Hope ignited within her--but quickly faded as she realized he might well believe everything he’d told her, but he spoke in the absence of his memories. Right now, he was a man without a past, but that past would catch up with him sooner or later.
He didn’t remember Clarissa, or the bond he’d shared with her. Lucinda could hope it wasn’t a true Love Bond, but knowing her luck, Fate had not stacked things in her favor.
If it turned out he was meant to be with another woman....
Nyte stroked her cheek and lowered his lips to capture hers again, but she ducked sideways and crossed to the counter, claiming some much needed distance.
"What happened to you earlier, when you teleported?" She turned away from him and stacked dishes in the sink. "I was worried when you didn’t reappear right away." She kept her voice as nonchalant as she could, but a slight tremor belied her composure.
She felt his hands curl over her shoulders and his warmth pervaded her being.
"I’m sorry I worried you." The whispered words curled around her like a gentle caress.
"Well, you couldn’t help it." She eased around to face him. "Could you?"
"No, I had no control over what happened. I just seemed to be... lost... for a while."
Lost? Her heart clenched at the thought of him alone in darkness, not knowing where he was, not knowing his way back. She longed to reach out to him, to draw him into her arms and hold him in a gentle, comforting embrace.
She waited for him to say more, wishing he would share the experience with her. But he said nothing.
"You seemed shaken when you returned," she prompted as she scraped the remains of her chicken onto a small plate and put it on the floor for Merlin. When she stood up and turned around, she found herself face to face with Nyte.
"Yes, it was an unnerving experience."
His closeness unnerved her, but she didn’t move away.
"Won’t you tell me what happened?" She searched his eyes, looking for a hint of the trauma he must have suffered, hoping to find a way to help him through it.
"I’d rather not talk about it right now. It’s still a jumble in my head."
Disappointment seeped through her. She started to move away, hurt that he wouldn’t confide in her, but he captured her shoulders.
"And there’s something much more important I need to do right now."
He drew her into his arms and lowered his lips to hers. His tongue swept the edges of her mouth and the exquisite sensation aroused her craving for Nyte. She parted her lips and he entered her with a tender touch that muddled all her carefully prepared arguments, drew forth all her hidden passions, and swirled them around until she felt so dizzy she couldn’t think straight.
Her nipples, two pinpoints of super-heated desire, thrust against her sweater, longing to be touched by him. The heat between her legs threatened to exhale in a raging breath of fire.
Right at this moment, she didn’t care about Love Bonds, or Fate, or anything else except this man, this kiss, and the overwhelming desire she had to join with him.
He drew back and she saw his eyes burning like heated coals in a flame. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. That was very clear.
Her vaginal muscles contracted, overwhelming her with the need to feel him inside her, to feel the completeness that she’d never known before, and never consciously wanted to know until now.
"Lucinda...." His eyes glowed with a gentle understanding that tugged at her heart.
He scooped her up and strode toward the stairs.
"We are meant to be together, love.
Don’t ever doubt that."
His lips found hers again, the tender coaxing pressure assuring her there was nowhere she’d rather be right at this moment. Her eyelids drifted closed.
As he started up the stairs, she felt her body jostled, then a strange disorientation set in. Almost as if she was being tugged through space.
What’s happening?
Her body felt like a feather fluttering through the air, helplessly carried on a forceful breeze. Slowly, a heaviness settled within her, dragging her down. The warmth of Nyte’s arms around her was gone, with nothing to save her from the pull of gravity.
Her eyelids snapped open and she found herself dropping unceremoniously onto a burgundy leather couch. Unfortunately, she wasn’t centered over it and the wind puffed out of her as her back slammed down on the armrest. Her arms flailed as she tried to grab onto something, at the same time gasping for air. A pair of hands steadied her as she threatened to tumble to the floor. Finally, she slumped safely on the couch, staring up at Rand’s concerned blue eyes.
"For heavens sake, Lucinda, why didn’t you correct your landing?"
She blinked a few times, trying to catch her breath. After a moment, she realized Rand must have pulled her here.
An intense flash of anger bolted through her.
"My landing? It was your spell that pulled me here," she snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "What on Earth do you think you’re doing?"
Of course, she should have been able to compensate for his ineptness, but she’d been a little preoccupied.