Before I could respond, she pushed me out of the way. “I’m Grandma, dear. And you are?”
“Mallory.” She could say no more because Grandma had grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in to kiss. A peck on the cheek, like the one she’d just given me.
“Welcome, darlin’.”
“She’s my best friend, Grandma.” I looked at Finn. “Well, one of the two.”
Finn looked like I’d just knighted him, and Mal smiled. She and I would always be best friends. We had too much history together.
“Well,” Grandma said, “I’m just pleased as punch that you are joining us for lunch. The more the merrier.” She grabbed Mal’s arm. “Shall we? It’s such a lovely day, I asked Rosa to set the terrace table. Finn, rush out to the kitchen and tell her we need another place setting for our new friend here.”
He did her bidding, and Grandma strolled with Mal.
Alex had stood and come to me. I felt really guilty as she approached me.
“I-I-I….” I’d spent the last hour or so filled with apologies and explanations, and now I was speechless.
“Not to worry, Jake. If you’re a friend of Finny’s, you’re a friend of mine. I know it’s hard to wrap around this idea, this me I am. If you think you’re having difficulty, think about all the people who knew me as Alexander. My parents are still processing. Why do you think I’m here? Grandma and Finn are the only two constants in my life. They don’t judge. They just love.”
“I’m glad,” I said. “Add me to that list, if you’ll accept me.” And I really meant it.
“I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. Anybody who loves my cousin like you do is on my list.”
“How did you know I love Finn? I just admitted it to myself this morning.”
“Call it women’s intuition. I had a feeling, and my feelings are never wrong. I get that from Grandma.”
I hugged her. I couldn’t help myself.
“Ask me any questions you want. Later. Plenty of time for that.”
“Just let me say I’m sorry. I need to say those words because I was an ass yesterday—to that guy I punched and to HERO.”
“A sudden epiphany?” she asked.
“You could say that,” I answered. “And if you have questions, I’m open. You probably have more questions for me than I have for you. But we’re gonna be good friends, so, like you said, plenty of time.” And no more was said. She took my arm and led me to the terrace.
Rosa, the maid, was rearranging the place settings as we arrived. The table was elegant. That was the first word that came to mind when I saw the sparkling glassware, the gleaming silver, the delicate-looking china, the fine cloth napkins, and the flower arrangement in the center, no doubt clipped from Grandma’s gardens.
We sat, and before the food was brought, Grandma said, “Join hands.” Were we saying grace? I didn’t expect that, but did as I was told. “We come to share the blessings. We come to spread the love. Please guide us and enrich our lives.” No Dear Lord, no In Jesus Name We Pray, nothing like the prayers at Mom’s church. But these were simple words spoken in faith, faith in the goodness of the world.
Piles of food were served. I was a fool to think that adding a guest or two would cramp this woman’s style. It was abundant and delicious.
Grandma dominated the meal with her questions. By the time we finished, she knew just about everything there was to know about Mal, her family, and our friendship.
Over huge slices of coconut cream cake, I grabbed a moment of silence—when everyone was reveling in Rosa’s heavenly dessert—and plunged ahead.
“I have a story to tell and a favor to ask.” I looked directly at Grandma.
“Darlin’, anything. Just ask.”
“After you hear me out, you may not feel that way. So here goes….” And I told them about my fucked-up summer.
There was complete silence. I expected a negative outcry, a scolding, a get out of my house.
I added. “I’m gay. But I’ve lived in the deepest darkest closet for quite some time.” I glanced at Grandma, whose face shone with love and compassion and grace.
“I’ve done some horrible things this summer,” I continued. “I thought I’d come to realize that there was nothing wrong with being gay, but my fear and self-doubt and deep-seated resentment destroyed any good feelings I had. Then—and you may have seen my starring role on the news—I got dumbass stupid and did something I’m not proud of. Not one bit. But it changed me.” I was afraid there’d be disapproval on Grandma’s face. But there was none, so I had the courage to continue.
“You know how you blame other people for your troubles because you can’t blame yourself?” I saw nods all around. “I’m guilty. This entire summer is the summer of blame. I blamed Mal for going away to swim camp when I needed her. Truth was, I needed to look inside and make decisions for myself instead of expecting her to make them for me.”
Mal smiled at me—part love for me, part I told you so.
“And I blamed you, Finn, for yanking me out of my closet. I wanted to hate you, but I couldn’t. I loved you, but I hated myself for not wanting to love you. Or rather, for wanting to.”
Grandma put her hands to her cheeks as she let out a gasp of joy that her Finny had found love. He reached over and caressed my cheek.
“The worst blame I inflicted was on my dad, but he, through all the grief I’ve piled on him the past month, never gave up on me. He sent me a DVD. He said he just found it and thought I’d enjoy it. I don’t know if I believe that or if he had it forever at his ready until I was at a place where I needed to see it. I won’t go into what the specifics are, but I will say, this video further changed my life. It came in the mail yesterday, and I watched it this morning. I’d plunged so into the depths of my self-loathing where my dad was concerned that I needed a lifeline, and that’s what this was. My dad knew that this thing could change me profoundly. And it did.”
I took a breath and directed my next words to Grandma. “Grandma, I have no right to ask you this. We just met. My mother would snatch me bald-headed, as she likes to say, for making this request of you.”
I felt like I had talked for hours, and my energy was lagging. Grandma must have known that, for she gave me new life when she blurted, “Just ask, Jake.”
“Okay—here goes,” I said. “I have to be at that wedding. I’ve been a royal shit to my dad, and I have to somehow make it up to him. I have no way of getting there. Dad had said he’d pay, but after all this, I don’t feel right asking. I looked on the way over here. A last-minute fare is about a thousand bucks. That’s about eight hundred more than I have in savings, and my mother, even if I wanted to ask her for it, doesn’t have it. And you double that because I want—no, I need—Mal to be there with me. My dad loves her. He invited her, and I think if I show up with her on my arm, it will go a long way to grease the wheels of this apology. So—” I inhaled so deeply that I thought my lungs would burst. “—will you lend me two thousand bucks? I’ll get a job and pay you back. It may take me forever, but I’ll do it.”
“No, dear, I can’t do that.” I don’t know why I thought she’d give me money. I didn’t know her. I wasn’t her grandson. I was nobody. Nobody. Who wouldn’t be attending his Dad’s wedding.
“Darlin’, you don’t need to be workin’ your buns off to give money to an old woman who has oodles of it. And, unless, I’m totally out of touch with the airline industry, a flight to Nova Scotia would take endless hours and probably involve two or three planes. Why put you through that? I have a plane.”
Did I just hear her correctly? And did I have a right to let her do that?
“I can’t—”
She put up her hand. “Not another word, baby. The jet is yours.”
“When Grandma throws up her hand, Podnuh, it’s a done deal.”
“Now,” Grandma said, “I have only a few requests. The big one, you do plan to come out to your daddy, don’t you?”
“Didn’t I menti
on that?” I thought I had, but I was trying to spit out so much before I lost my courage. “That will be the first thing I say after I’m sorry.”
“Good. I knew you were gonna do that, but I had to ask. And another question: besides being arm candy, why do you really want Mallory to go with you?”
I looked at Mal. “Because she has always been the constant in my life. No matter how crazy I’ve gotten, she’s never left me. Believe me, she’s given me a lot of grief over my being gay and keeping it secret and how I’ve treated my dad in the last weeks, but the one thing she hasn’t done is walk away. Even earlier today, she said she was through with me, but she didn’t turn away. My taking her to Halifax and having her there to witness everything is something she deserves to see and hear. To show that she finally broke through my hard head.”
Mal’s eyes sparkled love for me.
“Aw, darlin’, you’re making me tear up.” Grandma wiped her eyes with her napkin. “Now, my second request. Can I go with you? I just love weddin’s.” She laughed.
“If my parents are going to let me go, then we’ll need a chaperone.”
“Perfect,” Grandma exclaimed. “I’ll make like a proper grandmother and talk to them. Before I’m through, they won’t know what hit ’em. You’ll be going with us, sweet cakes.”
Mal smiled.
“So, when do we leave?”
“Friday,” I answered. “The wedding is Saturday afternoon.”
“Friday, it is.”
“Well, if she gets to go, I get to go too.” Was Finn jealous of Mal? “I’m just sayin’ that one good friend deserves another.” He laughed. “’Sides, Jake, I don’t ever want to leave your side again.”
Alex hugged us both, shouting, “Hallelujah, I’m so happy for you two I could spit. Grandma, what did I tell you?”
“Alex, darlin’, our prayers have been answered.”
Mal applauded, and Grandma and Alex joined in.
When the applause died down, Alex chimed. “I’ve got my passport, and I’ve never been to Canada. I’m coming with.”
“Oh, you’ll love Halifax, Ally,” Grandma gushed. “It is gorgeous. This will be so much fun.” She looked at me. “Now that it’s all settled, you need to call your daddy. Tell him to expect a passel more guests.”
“Okay. I’ll call him tonight and let him know. I hope he accepts my apology.”
“Of course he will—he’s your daddy!” Grandma said that with such certainty. Then she added, “But what if you surprised him?”
I smiled at her mind reading. If she’d lent me the airfare, I had planned to do just that. A good wedding gift, I’d thought. Or maybe it was just a way to delay facing the music with Dad.
I guess the idea of surprise was another thing I left out of my nervous request to Grandma.
“As a matter of fact, I’d thought of that,” I said.
“Then it’s settled,” Grandma pronounced. “Girls, we need to go shopping this afternoon. I don’t know about you, but I have absolutely nothing to wear to this shindig. And boys, do you need tuxes, or is it more casual? I know a guy at M Penner who used to clothe your grandfather, Finny. He’ll know how to fix you two up. Just tell him I sent you. Now, let’s see… I need to call my pilot, talk to Mal’s folks, book suites for us, arrange for a car to pick us up and cart us around, and get packing—as soon as we get our new duds, of course. Pack your swimsuits, kids. It’ll be warm enough, and the hotel has a gorgeous pool. Now, so I can plan our itinerary, tell me where this wedding will be held.” She was a fireball of enthusiasm.
“It’s at the Halifax Grayson. My dad’s the manager there.”
“Good. Nice place. Not as nice as where I’m taking you guys and gals, but Grayson hotels are not too shabby.”
She really was rich if she thought Graysons were second-tier hotels. This was going to be quite a trip.
Chapter 28
FRIDAY MORNING bright and early, Grandma arrived in a limo to whisk us away. Finn and I piled in, with Mom shouting “bon voyage” and waving as we started the short ride to Mal’s to pick her up.
When I told her my plan, Mom literally shouted praise.
“It’s a surprise, so don’t tell him,” I ordered.
“Why would I tell him?”
“Because you tell him everything. You admitted that.”
“I don’t tell him everything. I didn’t tell him you’re gay. That’s for you to tell him in your own time.”
I finished her sentence with her, and we laughed. “Well, he’ll know soon enough. I should never have kept it from him. I hope he can forgive me for keeping such a monumental secret.”
“Baby, he’s your dad, the man I love—love and forgiveness is in his DNA.”
I kept that thought within me as the limo pulled from the curb.
“Grandma, this is amazing. I can’t believe you’re doing all this for me.”
“My pleasure. If I can’t spread my bucks around, then why am I rich? Making people happy is what life is about.”
Finn looked a little glum with all the money talk.
“Dad was furious over this,” Finn said. “I told him I was just an innocent bystander. That this was all for you, and I was just tagging along. He refused to buy that I wasn’t the instigator of this, even after I explained it was all Grandma’s idea. He told Mom that Grandma was to cut me off. No more money. Period. He thinks she spoils me rotten.”
“Bummer,” I said.
“I’ll bring your daddy around, love. I fully understand his misgivings, but spreading money is like spreading manure–good things grow out of it. Besides, a grandmother is allowed to spoil her grandkids.”
“You tell him, Grandma,” Alex affirmed.
“Maybe Dad’s right. I love ya, Grandma, but I don’t really need all these things. I’d love you if you were living in a refrigerator box under a bridge.”
She laughed. “You say that, dear, but don’t you think this is a lot nicer?” She gestured around us.
“You’re right,” Finn said. “Nothing beats this kind of luxury. But just to keep Dad happy, let’s soft-pedal the gifting a bit, okay?”
“Whatever you say, love, whatever you say.”
Somehow I didn’t think that discussion was over, just interrupted.
The driver soon pulled up to Mallory’s house, and before he could get around to open my door for me—a fact that Finn ragged me about later. It seems one should always wait for the driver—I leaped to her door and rang the bell.
“Mal,” I called. “Come on. Time’s a wasting.”
She opened the door, lugging a huge suitcase. “Take my bag, strongman.”
“We’re only going to be there two days—not even two full days. You can’t possibly need all this.” I pointed to the bag.
“You just cart it to the car, and let me worry about what I do and do not need.”
From behind me, the driver pushed ahead, took the suitcase, and hefted it to the car.
I looked at her, in a bright red jumpsuit. “You look totally hot in that.”
“Like you’d know. I can tell you who you should be lusting over, that hunk of a driver. Oo-whee.” She fanned herself.
“Back off, Mal. We’ll just leave the man to do his job.” And we hurried to the car.
Mal entered the limo, Finn hanging in the doorway, waiting for her. She kissed each of his cheeks. “Finn, my love.”
“You’re smokin’, Podnette!”
I looked at him. I guess my eyes said, “But you’re gay, Finn.”
“What? I’m gay, not blind.”
All five of us laughed at that.
“Grandma, thank you. You were right. My parents were in awe of you. Without you here, they totally wouldn’t have let me fly away across the world alone with two guys and a girl. I tell them I can take care of myself.”
“And I have every confidence you can, dear, but I fully understand your folks. I feel honored they trust me to take care of you. You are their treasure, you know. Very p
recious.”
My heart swelled. She was such a nice lady. And Grandma was doing me such a huge favor. And I was there, with my friends supporting me. And Mal was no longer mad at me. And Finn and I were embarking on a romance and a friendship that I knew was going to last a lifetime. And Alex. Dear Alex. She could hate me. But, instead, she had embraced me as well. Life was good.
Or would be as soon as I could see my dad. I had to apologize, I had to come out to him, and I had to thank him for that DVD. I know it was his scheme that it soften my hardened heart, but schemes don’t always work. This one did. Charley Robinson and that DVD opened up my heart to a whole new world of possibilities. And, surprisingly, it was a game changer for Mom too. She told me Charley’s story was a mind-opener. She was through with opposing HERO and the hateful stance against transgendered people. The video had nothing to do with the transgender/bathroom thing, but, as she said, “It made me see that people come in infinite variations, and they all need acceptance.” I guess, like I, in watching Charley tell his story, she realized gays in loving relationships existed long before now. We’re both intelligent, but somehow gay people never seemed real before the other day and that video.
Suddenly, I remembered. I grabbed Mal’s hand and placed my little package in it.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Just something I brought you from Portland. I’m finally remembering to give it to you.”
“Well, it’s about time, Jacob Hardy. I’ve been wondering if you brought me something from your trip.” Mal is like a little kid. She thinks no matter where I go, and granted I don’t do much traveling, I have to bring her back a gift. She opened the package and pulled out the earrings. “Oh my God! These are fantastic!” And she kissed me full on the lips, drew away, ripped off the earrings she was wearing, and immediately put the new ones on. “How do they look? How do they look?” She was waving her head around to show off the earrings to everyone in that car.
“Mighty fine, dear,” Grandma said. “Jake here done good.”
Titanic Summer Page 26