by CeeCee James
At that moment, five more people climbed out of the car. One with yet another metal detector.
I groaned as I saw them. “Everything is quite odd right now, I’ll give you that,” I said to her and marched over to the car. “Hey, guys!” I waved my hands to get their attention. “Sorry. No one’s allowed on the property without being represented by a real estate agent.”
“They don’t have an agent?” The harpy woman had followed me. She raised her hand and gave them the biggest smile. “Hi there, I’ll be happy to represent you!”
I glared at her. “Do they look interested in buying a house to you?” And then back to the men, “Get back in your car. Go find an agent.”
They ignored me, with only one giving me a very dismissive glance, as they walked to the lake. I stamped my foot, infuriated. “The police are on their way.” I yelled after them. “If you don’t leave you will be arrested for trespassing.”
“What about them?” The guy who’d glanced at me asked as he pointed to the group by the lake.
“I’m getting to them. Now you guys get out of here before the cops come.”
“I’ve never seen a real estate agent drive buyers off the property before,” the woman next to me grumped. I glared at her as she kicked yet another mud clot off her shoe.
“Do you have a real client?” I asked.
“What? Of course, I do.” She lifted her chin indignantly.
“Where are they, then?”
“I left them on the front porch.” She turned to look. “Oh. They were right there. I’m not sure….” She spun around, trying to track them down.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “You go find your clients while I get those people out of the water.”
“What is going on here?” she asked.
I sighed. “I’m not entirely sure.” Then I grimly marched down to the lake, muttering to myself. “But I’m going to find out.”
As I walked to the shore, I saw someone kick toward the center of the lake. His buddy was thigh deep in the water and adjusting his mask when I reached the shoreline.
“Hey! Over here!” I yelled.
The man looked up.
“Come out of there and talk to me.” I waved my arms like I was marking the runway for a jumbo jet.
He glanced at his friend, just a blob and a snorkel from this distance, and then back at me.
“That’s right. Come here right now. The cops are on their way.”
As if to punctuate my sentence, a bull horn blasted behind me. I nearly peed myself and jumped to turn.
Speak of the devil. A cop keyed up his loudspeaker. “This is the police. Get out of the water.”
The man yanked his snorkel free and cupped his hands to yell at his friend. “Jerry! Jerry! Get out of the water!”
Well, Jerry, if that really was his name, didn’t hear his friend and continued deeper.
The cop shut his car door and walked toward us. The guy in front of me cussed under his breath and began wading toward the shore. I glanced around for the other group of people but they had scattered at the sight of the cop like mice when the light flips on. I caught just a glimpse of someone running through the brush.
Just then, the real estate agent popped up. She stood on the porch and yelled, “Yoo-hoo! I found them! We’re ready when you are!”
Chapter 11
It was Officer Taylor who showed up again, and I think he was getting sick of seeing me so often. The feeling wasn’t mutual as I practically pranced over to his side. I nearly hugged him, I was so grateful he was there. Between the blast of his siren a few times, and his uniform, he had most of the trespassers gathered together—the only one missing was Jerry who still floated out in the lake. I stood on the fringes of the group, listening.
“What are you guys doing here?” the cop asked. He was a picture of authority, his feet wide apart, his shoulders squared to match his stance.
Now that was the million dollar question. I held my breath, wondering if my hunch was right.
I wasn’t sure I was going to get my answer. The trespassers rubbed the backs of their neck and stared at one another, shifting their feet.
Officer Taylor raised an eyebrow. “I can easily call in the wagon and have you all brought to the station. I don’t mind asking my questions down there. I will remind you, trespassing is a crime. Your choice, boys.”
The young men bounced glances off of each other. Finally, one of them spoke up. “We just want to find the sword.”
A sword? “What are you talking about?” I asked.
Officer Taylor’s eyes flicked toward me in annoyance but I ignored him. I was so close! Just give me the confirmation I need!
No one responded, so I prompted, “Are you here because of the riddle?” Come on, come on, come on!
One kid, with long shaggy hair rolled his eyes. “Yeah. The riddle. Whatever. It led us here. You know the sword. It’s in all the ancient role-playing games. It’s cool.”
I actually giggled, so satisfied to finally know the truth. Then, realizing how I’d interrupted, I ducked my head in apology toward Officer Taylor.
Officer Taylor went over rules of private property and gave a basic lecture. To be honest, I was tuning him out. If there was a sword on the property, did Lenny know about it, being that it was in his family? And if so, why did he wait to go after it now, after all these years?
“Stella!” Uncle Chris yelled. He waved at me.
Seeing him was almost as good as seeing my dad. I can’t explain the relief and happiness that flooded through me as I ran over to him. As I got closer, I saw that Kari had arrived also. She was on the porch, talking with Angela Cranton. Joining the two of them was another couple.
“You okay?” Uncle Chris asked when I reached him. He grabbed me into a hug as if to make sure I wasn’t missing a limb or hurt in some way.
“I’m so glad you’re here! You can’t even believe how crazy it’s been. That cop over there is interviewing the ones still dumb enough to stay and get caught.” I pointed out to the lake. “And out there is some wahoo still happily snorkeling with no idea of what’s going on.”
Uncle Chris scowled as he stared out at the lake. He plucked a cigar from his pocket and bit off the end. He spat and said, “I guess I need to see what we’re going to do about Aquaman. Does anyone have any idea what’s going on?”
“So, last night I stumbled onto a gamer’s site. It was talking about this lake as the answer to an old pun. They think an ancient sword is down in the water. Ask Officer Taylor. He was twisting the screws a bit to find out more.”
“Okay.” His thick eyebrows flicked toward the house. “You go take care of that showing. They might be legit. And they must really want this place to stick around despite the dog-and-pony show. Let’s get this house sold as fast as we can and out of our hair.”
He snapped his lighter and puffed a few times. When his cigar was going, he squelched through the mud toward the cop while I headed to the house.
Kari’s voice carried over as I approached the porch. It was carefree and exuded confidence, “Ahh, here she is. See, I told you that she had everything under control. Now that’s a good real estate agent.” She grinned, all her teeth showing. I raised my eyebrows at the maniacal smile, pretty sure I could conclude how the conversation had gone while I was busy.
I walked up the stairs and was quickly introduced to a Mr. and Mrs. Harris. They were a nice couple from St. Petersburg.
“And interestingly enough Stella, Mrs. Cranton and I went to school together,” Kari said, beaming that same phony beauty-pageant smile.
The two real estate agents giggled at each other and touched each other’s elbows in good humor. Fake, cold, and brittle good humor.
“So,” I addressed to the Harrises. “It has been a little nuts around here but everything is settling down now. Have you had a chance to check out the house yet?”
“Yes. Mrs. Cranton has taken us through.” Mr. Harris smiled at his agent. I wasn’t su
re if he was sucking up so he’d get a deal on the house, but I could tell him he could skip that part. I was more than ready to encourage our seller to negotiate and be done with this sale.
“Terrific. Did you have any questions?” It was something I hated to ask. How could they not be dubious, especially with all these strangers combing the land? Not to mention Free-Willy out there bobbing in the waves.
The two of them shook their heads, which made me so grateful I’d even be willing to knock another quarter point off my commission.
“Don’t worry. I’ve told them everything they’d need to know. I’m actually taking them to another house.” Mrs. Cranton sniffed. I had no idea people did that outside of Regency films. “Some place represented by a professional,” she added, give me the eye up and down.
“Well, hey, now!” Kari shook her head. “Stella is every bit of a professional. This has been a rather unusual situation.”
“Unusual!” Mrs. Cranton laughed. “I should say so. The way she’s run this showing has been more of a college rave than something my company represents. Of course if you trained her, maybe that’s to be expected.”
Kari and I both froze.
“Ta-Ta, Kari. Call me when you’re ready to really break into the business.” Mrs. Cranton waggled her fingers. The Harrises followed behind her, looking rather embarrassed and confused.
I could almost feel the heat from Kari’s fuming, like someone had dumped gasoline on a fire. Mrs. Cranton tried to back out her car, only to lose traction. Her tires spun in the mud, and Kari’s expression lightened. Mrs. Cranton shifted forward and attempted to back out again, this time with no trouble.
We watched the car disappear down the road.
“I hate her, hate everything about her. Hate her hair and her clothes and her stupid smile,” Kari spat out.
“So, tell me how you really feel,” I joked, still feeling shocked at how horrible that woman was.
Kari gave me an angry side-eye. “She’s always been like that.”
“Always?”
“Even in school. Especially in school. She was the kid who picked on the other kids, who had the rich parents and the latest and greatest everything.”
The vitriol flamed through Kari’s voice and was a poignant reminder at how memories from even that far back could still sting so strongly.
“At least she didn’t call you an incompetent agent who hosts college Frat parties,” I said, dryly.
Kari started to laugh. “She’s a piece of work, I’ll tell you. Maybe you should be glad you lost that sale.”
“Yeah? Well, did you see her face when I walked up? Like she was smelling an overflowing outhouse. Does she always look like that?”
Kari raised an eyebrow. “You know that warning all moms use, about your face getting stuck that way? I’m pretty sure that’s happened to her. Sour puss extraordinaire.”
We both laughed then, though I couldn’t tell if it was at the realty agent or the sheer absurdity of the day.
Officer Taylor approached us, followed by a group of young men, including a new man wearing a wet suit. Uncle Chris slowly meandered behind, puffing out a cloud of smoke.
“Apparently, they got Flipper out of the water,” I whispered to Kari.
She laughed harder and tried to hide it behind her hand.
The young men split off and headed to their cars. One by one, they drove away. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when the last one left.
“All right, you guys. So you have a plan then?” Officer Taylor asked.
Uncle Chris took out the cigar, the end soggy and chewed. “Yeah. I talked to the owners on the way here. I’m calling in a scuba diving expert and a security team. We’ll have this all sorted out within the next day or two.”
The cop nodded. “Get it squared away. We’ll keep patrolling it, but we don’t have the resources to do this long term.”
“Thank you for your help, sir.” Uncle Chris shook his hand.
The officer left, and then we were alone. The wind howled, the trees creaked, and the lake rippled.
“Well, that was fun,” Uncle Chris said. “Who needs coffee?”
Chapter 12
We did get that coffee together, which turned into a lovely chat at a cafe table outside Darcy’s Doughnuts. Uncle Chris filled me in with some more news about his plans to eventually run for city mayor.
“If you really want to run, you’re going to have to endear Flamingo Realty to the community,” I said, before taking a sip of my chai tea.
“Endear? What’s more endearing than a flamingo?”
“Well, they feel like we’re just here for a money grab. Maybe you could do something to show you want to give back to the town.”
His brow rumpled as he thought about it, and he shoved a big bite of glazed doughnut into his mouth.
“Maybe like a picnic, you know with a bouncy house,” Kari suggested.
“A bouncy house?” Uncle Chris shot her a surprised look. “Isn’t that something you’d find in Vegas?”
I snorted, nearly shooting tea out my nose. Kari rolled her eyes.
“What?” He turned to me.
“I don’t even want to know the places you go to that you’d think that’s an adult activity,” I said, shaking my head.
“Honestly, a bouncy house. It’s inflatable. Kids go in and jump….” Kari spoke in dragged out words like she was explaining to a toddler.
“Oh, yes,” he said. “Quite a different thing than what I was thinking. Yeah, we can get that on the calendar.”
Kari stared across the road and sipped her coffee, clearly disgusted.
“You think you’re ever going to settle down, Uncle Chris?” I asked.
He gave me a side-eye and quickly looked away. A silence grew, and internal alarms sounded as I realized I may have hit a sore subject. I scrambled to think of something to say to let him off the hook, but he replied before I came up with anything.
He shook his head. “Naw. One time long ago, I had my chance. Us O’Neil’s are one woman kind of men. Just look at your dad. Or Oscar.”
His answer had me gobsmacked in a couple of different ways. I worked my mouth, trying to respond but my brain was trucking a million miles a second. He’d once been in love? What had happened? And he brought up Oscar! Was I making progress?
“What happened?” was the question I finally settled on. I peeped at him over my cup.
His jaw worked, and I could see he was trying to control his emotions. But his voice was lighthearted, even dismissive. “Same experience as a million others. Wrong person, wrong time.” I swear, as he said that, he flushed and looked guilty.
The question clearly rattled him, because he stood up, ready to make his get-away. “Anyway, that’s a story for another day. Right now, I’ve got some phone calls to make.” He brushed his hands on his pants after shoving in the last bite of doughnut.
Kari got ready as well. Ever the mom, she gathered up all the spare napkins and garbage and carried them to the can.
Uncle Chris headed out before us. As I followed, I couldn’t help but wonder, who was this mystery woman he’d once loved? These O’Neil men were full of secrets.
Back at the office, the three of us split to our work spaces. I revamped the Johnson’s house listing to include in bold print—Potential interested parties must be represented by a licensed agent. Uncle Chris made sure the security team was in place at the property and by noon, they had already chased off a few more looky-lous. He’d also booked a scuba recovery team, due out tomorrow.
The word must have gotten out, because the calls asking for showings of the Johnson place dried up to nothing. The rest of my day was spent answering emails. As I expected, not one person who had been there this morning sent in an offer.
Well, that’s just my luck. I sighed. I felt like I was going to be saddled with the lake listing forever. As if to highlight my bad luck, I received a text from Mrs. Crawford reminding me of dinner that night.
I stared at
the text as a heavy feeling of dread crawled over me. Why did I say yes?
Kari must have heard me groan because she glanced over from her computer screen, “What’s going on? More trouble at the Johnson’s place?”
I winced, one eye open, one eye squinched. “No. Even better. I have a blind date tonight.”
“Oooh,” Kari said, nodding sympathetically. “Well, that could be fun. Who roped you in?”
“My landlord.”
“You’ll have a good time, you’ll see.” There was a moment of silence as she typed away at on her keyboard. Then she tapped her chin as if a thought had just occurred to her. “You know, I have a great person you might like to meet. He’s tall, dark, and handsome, and recently single.”
I smiled even as I internally whimpered. “Thanks for the thought. I’ll let you know.”
“We’ll figure a fun way for you two to meet,” she promised with a wink.
I weakly smiled back and finished my paperwork.
The work day ended early with another storm blowing in. I drove home with the mindset of getting into a hot bath and doing a little investigating before heading out to dinner.
Normally, I wasn’t a bath girl. But this house had one of my favorite things, a claw-foot tub. It made me investigate a whole new world of bath bombs, and I was having a blast with them.
As I was leaving town, I passed Fast Lanes car dealership. They had a car sitting out front that made me suck in my breath. A Plum Crazy Purple 1970 Dodge Challenger.
I’d always loved hot rods, especially after having a boyfriend in high school who drove a Dodge Dart. There was a season where we went to every muscle car show, and I lived and breathed everything from posi traction to Hemi engines.
I’d wanted my own, except Dad did the whole, “over my dead body” routine, and then college came along with student loans and effectively killed that whole dream. I squeezed the steering wheel and sighed. Maybe someday.
Once, home I headed straight for the bathroom, filled up the tub with steaming water, and dropped in a lavender stress-reliever. I figured that tonight I needed all the help I could get.