“I like the size of your butt.”
“That’s good. I may have to skip working out at the gym for this weekend, but I’ll be back at it next week. So the butt, ample as it is, won’t be growing.” She slapped a chocolate bar atop the layer of marshmallows, then topped that with another graham cracker and pressed until the marshmallow oozed out the sides, its heat half melting the chocolate. “What was it you started to say?”
He took a deep breath. It hadn’t been hard telling Bailey at the wedding reception, so why did he suddenly have to search for words? “Remember when we broke up?”
“I hope that’s not a serious question.”
“No, it isn’t.” Just go for it. “I didn’t tell you the whole story.”
She stopped with the gooey chocolate concoction halfway to her mouth. Alec had the uneasy impression that it took a lot to freeze Patty with a s’more inches from her lips. “Yeah?”
“My parents did pressure me pretty hard. They said if I didn’t bring up my SAT scores, and lost out on scholarships, they weren’t going to help pay the gap between my college savings and my expenses. That would have been a pretty big gap.”
She set down the plate. “You said they threatened to cut you off entirely unless you dropped me. No college fund, no nothing.”
“They didn’t go that far,” Alec admitted.
“Then why’d you dump me?”
“Because I kept getting into trouble around you. I figured sooner or later I was likely to screw something up that couldn’t be fixed.” That sounded lame, even to him.
“I didn’t pour drinks down your throat the night before the SATs.” She had an unusual air of stillness. He almost wished she’d show anger. Disgust. Whatever she was feeling.
Maybe it went too deep. The idea cut like a knife. Patty always seemed so resilient! “I know. I’m sorry.”
“If you didn’t think I was good enough for you—no, wait—if you decided I was the wrong girl for you, you should have told me.” Patty folded her arms. “I wouldn’t have shot you, although I did go out and shoot some clay pigeons in your honor.”
“I’m sure they richly deserved it.” He’d have enjoyed throwing the targets into the air and shooting alongside her. Except that hadn’t been the idea, had it?
“Why’d you lie?” she pressed.
“Because I didn’t trust myself,” Alec said.
“You mean you didn’t trust me.” Her face was still unreadable.
“I didn’t trust the part of myself that came out around you,” Alec said. “Patty, at seventeen, I had this adolescent streak of rebellion, but our academic system doesn’t grant any leeway. Everything’s on the record. Everything counts. I was competing with people who never screwed up, who kept their noses to the grindstone. And I didn’t hail from any special group that the powers-that-be make allowances for. No impoverished background, no physical handicaps to overcome. So I had to be perfect.”
“Except to me.” Pain shimmered in her eyes. A kind of pain he’d never seen in her before, not even then. Or perhaps he’d been too immature to recognize it.
“I didn’t mean to be cruel. But I was, and I regret it. A lot.” He squelched the urge to keep talking, to tell her he’d come clean because he didn’t want half-truths and secrets to stand between them. He’d had no idea that the old wounds he was reopening had cut so deep.
She regarded him with no trace of the warmth they’d shared earlier. “It’s good that you told me. Like turning on the lights so I can see things clearly.”
How do I fix this? How do I make her smile again? No chance of that tonight, he feared. But…eventually?
He recognized now that his long silence had added weight to his deception. While he’d gone about his studies and married and had a child, Patty had had to cope with a broken heart. That was what he’d inflicted. Unwittingly. Stupidly. Selfishly. But throughout, she’d had the consolation that his parents had forced his hand.
Now he’d taken that away. She had every reason to think less of him. A lot less.
“Well.” Patty glanced down at her plate. “Guess I’ll eat this while I unpack.” Slinging the duffel over her shoulder, she grabbed the snack and walked off.
At least she was heading for the hallway instead of the exit. Alec had to be grateful for that.
THIS ROOM WAS TOO SMALL. At the moment, the condo felt too small, as well, although it had more square footage than the house Patty was renting. In her current mood, the entire town of Safe Harbor might be too small.
As she unpacked, it took all her self-control not to slam the drawers or smack the hangers around in the closet. Alec had chosen to break up with her. She’d ached for him and longed for him and made a fool of herself in front of Grandpa. If Alec couldn’t control his own choices and had to punish her for them, maybe the guy really was too weak for her.
That had been a dozen years ago. He’d faced up to it now. Couldn’t he have broken it to her sooner? Or waited until she’d enjoyed her snack? It had gone cold. Just not the same. Tasted good, though. Chocolate, marshmallow…
It galled Patty to admit how much his lie had affected her. In her heart, she’d sheltered a tiny kernel of belief that at some level Alec had been just as devastated as she was by their breakup. Even though she’d accepted that he’d happily married a woman who pleased his parents, she’d compared other men to him and found them lacking. She’d wept at movies about lovers forced to part—okay, she’d jeered at them along with her guy friends, but there’d been the occasional traitorous tear in the corner of her eye.
If he’d told her the truth in high school, it would have knocked her flat. Opened a bleeding gash for everyone to see. But then she would have healed. Because she’d have seen that Grandpa was right and Alec didn’t deserve her.
In fairness, she supposed his reasons for dumping her had been valid enough by his standards. He’d set the bar high in his career, and achieved it. You had to admire that. But…hey, weird thought. All this while she’d kept her distance from Darlene Denny who, it turned out, hadn’t disliked her quite as intensely as she’d thought. Patty was tempted to march down there and apologize, except she couldn’t figure out for what. The person who ought to apologize was Alec.
He had. But not enough. Twelve years shy of enough.
Well, she’d promised Fiona she’d stick around for the weekend, and she’d secured Mike’s reluctant consent. He hadn’t been keen on the idea, but she’d assured him Alec understood she couldn’t stand guard duty in her sleep. So as long as she’d committed herself, she might as well stick it out and quit holding a pity party.
After licking the last of the chocolate off her fingers, Patty went to the bathroom to wash her hands. From the living room, she could hear the TV. It sounded like a documentary, some fellow with a British accent droning on about future technologies. These days, that meant about five minutes from now.
While washing, she started to hum “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” Even after she stopped, the annoying melody kept playing through her head.
Back in her room, Patty pushed the tune aside and sat down to take a hard look at Sabrina’s latest actions and see if she could dope out any clues to what the woman might do next. In her laptop, she typed:
Calls and threatens nanny.
What had that accomplished? Tatum’s departure might work to Sabrina’s benefit if she intended to go back to court and claim Alec wasn’t providing a stable environment. More likely, it showed pure meanness and a disregard for Fiona’s feelings.
How sneaky, to keep the call so short that Tatum hadn’t been able to make a positive voice ID. Still, Sabrina’s usual tactic was to vent, not use restraint.
Could it be Eduardo’s influence? He had to be a cold character, to abandon his wife and kids. Rich, successful, a smooth operator. Was this some kind of game to him? Or did he have more self-serving goals?
According to Mike’s research, the Patron family owned a large food-packaging plant that exported many o
f its products. In addition, they’d acquired a small firm in the biotechnology field and were reputed to be investigating ways to expand its product line through research.
Mike had said he didn’t see what Eduardo had to gain by antagonizing Alec. If anything, the lab director might prove a valuable connection to help identify growth areas in fertility treatment. This had become a major field in medicine, now that more women were waiting until their thirties, forties and sometimes even fifties to complete their families. And California, with its wide-open laws about fertility procedures, including in vitro, surrogacy and egg donation, was one of the centers.
None of this gave Eduardo a motive to tick off Alec.
Patty jotted another note:
Claims apartment break-in.
If that were true, there should be a police report. Mike could check it out. Still, a real burglary wouldn’t preclude the possibility that Sabrina had lied about the phone’s being stolen.
Note number three:
She and fiancé to fly here Saturday.
Sabrina was entitled to a supervised visit on her daughter’s birthday, so that didn’t violate the custody agreement. Still, it meant matters were likely to come to a head quickly.
Patty summarized her observations on these new developments and emailed the report to Mike. He could confirm with Manhattan police whether there’d been a break-in, and might even be able to determine exactly when Sabrina was scheduled to arrive. Patty sent a copy to Alec, with a matter-of-fact recommendation that he keep the police updated about his ex-wife’s activities.
Have I overlooked anything? She was glad Mike would be reviewing her observations, because regardless of her opinion of Alec, she’d never let anything hurt his little girl.
Or him.
No matter how well they prepared, though, Patty had to be ready to adjust to events on the fly. Especially on Saturday at the party. There’d be a lot of people coming and going: children, parents, pizza deliverers. Mike planned to restrict access to a single door, while Patty would stick close to Fiona, but this wasn’t a presidential visit complete with Secret Service. Had there been a better-defined threat, or indications that Sabrina had hired a professional, Mike would have recommended augmenting the staff. Instead, there’d be just the two of them.
Plus Alec, of course. Patty’s gut squeezed as she remembered the affection in his dark eyes during Fiona’s bedtime session. With the three of them gathered together, they’d almost felt like a family.
For a moment, she’d actually wanted that. The longing had sprung up unbidden, after years of believing she wasn’t suited for domestic life. A husband, children. She’d never believed she could make a go of that stuff, not with her background.
Or had the prospect seemed empty because no man could compare to the idealized Alec of her memory? The fellow who’d been nothing but a liar, after all.
Perhaps now she could get past that. Now that she was free of her illusions.
Wishing she hadn’t wasted the ingredients for a second s’more on her deceitful old friend, Patty poked through the list of movies on her laptop and picked one of the Rocky films. Didn’t matter which one, as long as it involved punching somebody’s lights out and winning big.
Chapter Thirteen
Alec had hoped that a good night’s sleep would soften Patty’s reaction to his confession. He, for one, barely slept, and awoke with the sense that someone had sandpapered his skin.
In the kitchen, he found her already showered and dressed in jeans and a blouse, serving Fiona cereal at the counter. They’d forgotten to brush out the little girl’s hair last night, Alec noted. Light brown wisps had pulled free from the braid, along with several longer strands.
After kissing his daughter, he turned to Patty. “Good morning.” He watched her reaction, hoping for some hint of encouragement.
“Morning.” The word came out crisp and impersonal. “Did you receive my report? I emailed it last night.”
“I did,” he confirmed, and popped two slices of bread in the toaster. “Good job.”
Fiona jostled her bowl, sending milk spattering onto the counter. “Oops.” Her eyes rounded guiltily.
Alec was about to reach for the sponge when Patty tore off a paper towel and handed it to her charge. Then she stood there with arms folded.
“You want me to clean it up?” Fiona asked in surprise.
“You made the mess. You’re old enough to clean it up.”
“Okay.” Solemnly, the little girl wadded the towel and mopped the table clean.
Alec was impressed. “You make a good nanny. If a bit unconventional.”
“Kids need to own their lives. That means making decisions and dealing with the consequences. Appropriately for their age,” Patty added. “That’s what I learned being raised by a military man.”
“I always figured the Sergeant would have liked me better if I’d saluted.” Alec hadn’t exactly felt antagonism from Patty’s grandfather, but the man had displayed about as much welcome as he would to a broken axle at his garage. “Aren’t you eating?”
“Already had a certain item you didn’t fix for yourself last night.” She refrained from mentioning in front of Fiona that she’d eaten a chocolate bar, marshmallows and graham crackers for breakfast. Candy bars morning, night and no doubt noon, as well.
“There is something to be said for nutrition,” he observed drily as he poured himself a cup of coffee. “By the way, thanks for making this.”
“You’re low on filters.”
He nearly told her that grocery shopping was her job, when he remembered it wasn’t. “I’ll pick some up. So, what’re you planning to do today?”
“I plan to keep Fiona safe,” Patty said.
“Don’t you have some activities in mind?”
“I’m not actually a nanny,” she reminded him.
“You could fix my hair,” Fiona chirped.
“What’s wrong with it?” Patty glanced at the girl’s braid. “Yeah, looks a little messy. We should chop that off.”
“Yay!”
Alec stopped in the middle of buttering his toast. “You like the idea?”
“I hate braiding my hair,” Fiona informed him. “I want to look like Patty.”
This could be a problem, Alec reflected as he weighed how to respond. Not the hair per se, but this eagerness to model herself after someone who didn’t intend to stay around very long. With Tatum’s abdication, Fiona was seizing on the nearest mother substitute—aside from Darlene, since apparently grandmothers didn’t hold quite the same appeal. What was going to happen when guard duty ended?
He knew what he’d like to see happen. But after last night, any renewed friendship seemed a distant possibility.
“Well?” demanded Fiona.
He hadn’t meant to keep her waiting. “You can have your hair done as a birthday treat. Patty, would you mind setting that up?”
“I don’t advise visiting a salon.” Her voice drifted back from where she’d stuck her head in the fridge. “Too many people, too hard to control the situation. Are you saving this pudding for anything?”
“You can’t eat pudding for breakfast!” Fiona cried.
“How about for a snack?”
“If you don’t eat right, you’ll get sick.” His daughter’s mouth pursed. “Your bones will crumble. Your hair will fall out and you’ll be bald.”
“Where did you hear that?” Alec was amazed at the things that came out of this little girl’s mouth.
“Tatum told me.” Earnestly, she added, “Well, I made up some of it. But it’s probably true.”
From the depths of the refrigerator, Patty emerged wielding a stick of celery. “If I eat this, will my bones get strong?”
Fiona nodded.
“Okay, then.” She crunched into it. “Mmm. I feel tougher already.”
Alec refrained from pointing out that celery wasn’t a major source of calcium. Anything that persuaded Patty to eat a vegetable ought to be encouraged.
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br /> He wished he could hang around to see who ended up nannying whom, but he had work to do. “Be careful. Call me if you need me.” He took his dishes to the sink, kissed his daughter and left, taking care to bolt the door.
WHAT WAS SHE GOING TO DO for an entire day with a little girl? The kid wasn’t old enough to go to the shooting range or, from a practical standpoint, to play pool, given that she’d have to stand on a chair to reach the table. Besides, you didn’t take a client home with you.
The hair-salon idea was beginning to sound tempting. Especially after Patty learned from Mike that there had been a police report filed about the break-in at Eduardo’s penthouse. This meant Sabrina truly might not have made the last threatening call.
Of course, someone had, and Patty refused to write it off as a prank. Which left her with an increasingly restive four-going-on-five-year-old and the challenge of protecting without smothering her.
Patty mulled the options. Being in public exposed them to attack. Staying put made them predictable as targets. Then there remained the possibility that no one was after Fiona and they’d self-destruct from sheer boredom. Besides, if Darlene could accompany them, to help stand watch, they should be safe enough at a beauty parlor.
After making sure Darlene was home, they went downstairs, where they found the smaller condo stuffed with packages of party decorations and medical supplies. Rosita, who’d stopped by the supermarket on her way to work, was unloading groceries in the kitchen.
“I’d love to go to the hairdresser with you, but my ankle’s hurting again,” Darlene said wistfully from the couch, where she sat distributing small toys among goody bags for tomorrow’s little guests. “I don’t think of myself as old, but my body doesn’t heal like it used to.”
“She should eat more celery, right, Fi?” Patty asked.
“And soup,” the little girl said, hugging her grandmother. “Salad’s good, except for the bitter stuff.”
Falling for the Nanny Page 13