by Barbara Goss
In the morning, Doc Hall came to check on her. As Silas and Meg waited outside the room, Meg touched Silas’s arm, “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Cassie wouldn’t be. She loves you and understands how you felt. Keep praying.”
While the doctor was with Cassie, Silas ran back through the counseling session in his mind. He remembered how Cassie had cried and how she had taken all the blame. He couldn’t believe that he’d sat there and done nothing. She was hurting, and he’d simply sat there.
The doctor came out of the room.
“How is she?” Silas and Meg said in unison.
The doctor sighed. “Not much change, although I did see her pupils contract a bit when I held the candle to her eyes.”
“What does that mean?" Silas asked. "Is that a good sign?”
“It means she may be close to consciousness, as a flicker in her eyes in reaction to the light shows her level of consciousness might not be as deep as it once was. She may be slowly coming to soon.”
“How long do you think it’ll take?” Meg asked. “Have you heard from the specialist?”
“I couldn’t get anyone to come until she has been unconscious for at least a week.” he said. “It’s a long way for a specialist to travel, and the doctor wants to be sure that the trip is really needed. How long will it take for her to come out of it? That’s impossible to say. She took quite a hit to her head, but her other wounds are fairly superficial. We’ll wait a few more days, and then I’ll insist that the specialist makes the trip, even if I have to go there and bring him back myself.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
Several days later, Silas was needed at the livery, as Oliver was having problems with the bookkeeping, and one of the stall cleaners quit, so he wasn’t able to visit Cassie until early evening.
He arrived at the house and Meg greeted him. “I have good news and some bad news,” she said.
“Is Cassie all right?” he asked anxiously.
“Well, she’s finally conscious, that’s the good news.” Meg escorted him up the stairs.
“What’s the bad news?” Silas held his breath waiting for her answer.
“She has the worst headache, and she doesn’t remember a lot. She remembers me, but not Laura or Carl. I’m anxious to see if she remembers you.”
Silas’s heart felt like it had dropped to his feet when he walked into the room and Cassie looked at him with a stranger’s eyes. He knew at that moment, that she did not remember him and he felt his heart breaking when a sharp pain stabbed through him.
“Look who’s here, Cassie. It’s your fiancé, Silas,” Meg announced.
Cassie simply stared at Silas with a blank look and pulled her sheet up under her chin.
“What should I do?” he whispered to Meg.
Meg shrugged.
Silas approached the bed, sat in the chair, and began talking to her in soft tones. “How are you today, Cassie? You’ve given us quite a scare. Does you head hurt?” Then, frustrated when he didn’t get any answers, he simply asked, “Don’t you remember me?”
Cassie shook her head slightly. Tears rolled down her face. “I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Don’t worry about it. Your memory will return; I’m told it takes time after a serious head injury.” He tried to pat her hand, but she yanked it away with fear evident in her eyes.
“Cassie,” he spoke softly. “I’d never hurt you. I love you.”
She stared at him in the same way a stranger on the street would—with absolutely no recognition.
Silas stood. “I’ll come back tomorrow. Get some rest.”
Silas left the house and walked to the bridge. He leaned on the railing and prayed. He prayed, as he never had before. He dropped to his knees on the icy bridge and prayed, humbly begging God to give him another chance with Cassie. He started to walk back to the house but turned back to gaze at the bridge—that bridge held so many fond memories. He envisioned Cassie in his arms on that bridge, as it was the only place they’d ever kissed; their private place. How he wished he hadn’t been so thickheaded and stubborn and met her at the bridge, long before her accident, and it would never have happened if he had.
Silas stayed away for several days, unable to bear her looking at him as though she had never met him. When she looked at him vacantly, it felt like a dagger was piercing his heart.
He was at the livery, bent over his bookkeeping, when Laura walked in.
“Have a seat, Laura, it’s nice to see you.”
“I’ve come to talk to you because you haven’t been visiting Cassie, and it’s something you really need to do, hurtful as it is. If you keep coming she might finally recognize you. Staying away, will only make it worse.”
Silas thought for several seconds before answering. “It’s painful to have my Cassie look at me as if I’m a stranger.”
“I know. She looks at me like that as well, but we have to keep trying.”
“Does she remember Jesse?”
“Yes. The doctor thinks the part of the brain injured was most likely the one that stores more recent memories. She remembers everything except the last four or five years. Doc says it will gradually come back.”
“There’s one part of her memory that I wish would never come back,” Silas said.
Silas, once again, sat at Cassie’s bedside. He’d been reading to her from a book called, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn that he’d purchased from a bookstore in Kansas City before they’d left for Hays. She listened attentively. They were already nearly to the end of the book, since he’d been reading to her for two weeks. She no longer looked at him like he was a stranger when he visited. Instead, she’d smile, and greet him as a new friend.
Each evening he’d read one chapter until one night, she asked if he would read one more chapter.
Silas smiled. “Of course, I will. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
After he’d read to her another chapter, she asked, “Where did we meet?”
Silas closed the book and said, “At Lucy’s restaurant. You were sitting at a table sipping coffee, when I came in. I was new in town, and couldn’t make up my mind what to order. The man taking my order was growing impatient, and you came to my aid by suggesting the beef stew.”
“Did you like it?”
“The best stew, except Meg’s of course.”
“How long did you court me?” she asked.
“Too long,” Silas murmured. “We were pretty close to getting married when you had your accident.” Anxious to get off this subject, he added: “Do you remember falling off your horse?”
“No. I know that I’ve been riding since I could walk, so I find it hard to believe that I’d take a tumble,” she said.
“Something must have spooked Moses.”
“How many more chapters are left?” she asked looking at the book on his lap.
“We have two more, but if you want, when this book is finished I could find another book to read to you.”
“I’d like that.” She smiled. “Can you tell me more about us so I can try to remember?”
Silas hesitated, not sure what type of memories she was seeking. “Well, we had dinner every Wednesday at Lucy’s. I own a livery, and because you love horses, you’d come and help me groom them. On Sunday, we’d ride our horses together, and sometimes race them.”
She smiled. “Who would win?”
“You were very good at racing, so you usually won.” He chuckled at the remembrance.
Even though she'd begun to greet him with a smile whenever he visited, he still wished she could remember him.
“What color is your horse?” she asked.
“I ride a few different ones, but on Sundays I usually ride Tinker, my Appaloosa.”
“I’m trying to picture these things because the doctor said it might help restore my memory. I really want to remember us,” she said, blushing.
“We were very much in love,” he said.
“Did we kiss?” she whispered, still blushing
.
“Yes, always on the bridge that crosses the creek behind the house. The first kiss was a hot summer day, and I came to the house to look at a horse Jesse had for sale. After I’d purchased the horse, we took a walk together, and found ourselves on the bridge.”
“I remember that bridge! Jesse built it. “ She paused, and looked down at her hands as she said, “We kissed there?”
He nodded. “Many times. That’s the only place we ever kissed because that’s the only place that’s private enough.” Silas grinned. “Your mother and Jesse didn’t give us much privacy.”
Cassie looked at him, her blue eyes sparkling, and said coyly, “I wish I could remember kissing you.”
Silas’s heart skipped a beat. “If you don’t, we’ll just have to relive it as soon as you can get up and about.”
She smiled.
After Silas left, Meg came up to tuck her in for the night. “How was your story tonight?” she asked.
“Wonderful,” Cassie said. “Silas is a very accomplished reader. He puts so much emphasis on the right words, and it makes me feel like I’m really living the story.”
“Do you feel more comfortable around Silas now?” Meg asked as she smoothed her sheets.
“Yes. I like him very much. I just wish I could remember him.”
“Don’t fret; you will, in time.”
“I asked Silas to tell me about us and some of the things we did, but it didn’t spark any memories for me. Can you tell me more about my romance with him?” Cassie asked.
“He courted you for three years. I thought you two would never talk about marriage, but recently you both talked about it, and I thought it would finally happen. I still think it will happen, because Silas worships you.”
“Then why didn’t we marry?” she asked, unbraiding her hair.
Meg helped her with her hair. “Silas had some important things in his life that he had to clear up first. He finally got that done and was ready, and… well…then your accident.” Meg left out the fact that Silas had been angry with her or about the impostor.
“I don’t remember him, Ma, but I feel something for him, deep down here.” She patted her heart. “It’s strange, but I am so happy when he arrives and it isn’t solely for the stories. I like him. And, I like being with him.”
“Well, Cassie, maybe your brain has forgotten him, but your heart remembers.” Meg kissed her forehead. “Goodnight, Cassie.”
Chapter 14
Doc Hall pronounced Cassie well enough to get out of bed. Her leg and arm were healed completely. Although she hadn’t gained back her recent memories, Doc thought it would do her good to get out into the fresh air.
When Silas arrived, he was surprised to see Cassie sitting in the living room with Jesse sitting beside her. Jesse stood when Silas arrived.
“Can I have a word with?” Jesse asked. “In private.”
“Sure.” They walked out into the kitchen.
“I want to apologize for my attitude that day you came to see Cassie. Laura made me see I shouldn’t have been so hard on you, because if it hadn’t been for my blabbing…”
Silas slapped him on the back. “No, Jesse, you were right to be short with me. I am totally at fault, but I’m going to make it up to Cassie, and that is a promise. It’s not your fault because in time Cassie would have told me about the impostor. She just hadn’t had a chance yet.”
“It would have been better had I let Cassie tell you, though.”
“Knowing how I reacted, I’d say it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference.”
“I never thought you’d react the way you did, but then Laura made me put myself in your position, and I realized I’d probably have reacted in much the same way.“
“Thank you. Now, I want to visit with Cassie.” He walked back to the living room and sat beside her.
“How are you feeling? Does it feel good to be out of bed?” he asked her.
“It does feel better, and a few memories have started returning. I remember Laura when she first arrived in a nun’s habit, but then, the memories stop. A mere flash of her standing in the kitchen with Jesse, wearing her habit, is all I remember.”
“Hey, that’s a start, but I can’t wait for you to remember us, Cassie.” He smiled at her.
“When it gets a bit warmer, perhaps we could go to the bridge. That might spark something for me,” she said.
“It might not get warmer for a while, Cassie, but when you feel up to it, we can dress you warmly and visit the bridge. The water beneath it might be frozen, though.”
Cassie’s smile made his heart beat faster.
“Did you bring the book? We’re on the last chapter. I love the last chapter of books, don’t you?” she asked.
“Sometimes, I’m sad when I get to the end of an especially good book though,” he said.
“Yes,” she replied, thoughtfully, “but there’s always the next book to look forward to.”
A few days later, Silas awoke to a very warm winter day. The sun was out, and there wasn’t even a hint of wind. He left the livery in Oliver’s capable hands and rode out to see Cassie, wearing a heavy calf-hide jacket with leather gloves.
“Meg,” Silas said, “can you help bundle Cassie up? I’d like to take her for a walk.”
“It’s a lovely day, and I think she’d enjoy a walk. I’ll get her ready.” Meg rushed off to get warm clothing for Cassie.
When Cassie came out to the kitchen, she wore a dark blue coat and boots. Meg handed her a pair of gloves, and a knit hat, and wrapped a knitted scarf around her neck. “There, I think you’ll be plenty warm.” Meg gave Silas a warning look. “But don’t keep her out too long.”
Silas took Cassie's hand and led her around to the back of the house, and past the elder tree to the bridge. He didn’t take her on the bridge, but stood where she had a clear view of it.
Cassie stared at the bridge. “For some reason, I love this bridge. Can we cross it?”
Silas took her hand and led her to the center of the bridge where he leaned his arms on the railing and Cassie did the same.
“The water isn’t quite frozen yet,” she said pointing to a bit of water trickling over a rock.
Silas turned her to him and kissed her forehead. The bridge had brought back memories for him that he couldn’t ignore. He had to kiss her. Yet, he’d take it slow as not to scare her.
“Oh Silas… I’m remembering something.”
“What?” he whispered in her ear, inhaling the scent of her hair.
“I remember kissing you, right here in this spot. I remember you held me too close and I… I backed away. I said something about wanting to be pure on my wedding night. Did that happen?” she asked excitedly.
“You had to remember me at my weakest moment?” he asked.
“I remember thinking that I, too, wanted more for us than mere kissing, but I wanted our wedding night to be special and I didn’t want to go against God’s word, either.”
“I agree, and we never did anything other than kiss. I had a weak moment that night but I wasn’t trying to seduce you—that was never my intention. I love you so much that I just couldn’t get close enough to you. It’s as if I wanted to melt with you and have us become one— does that make sense?”
She nodded, and stared into space. “Wait! I remember… Oh Silas, it’s all coming back. “
Before she could remember the problem in their relationship, Silas kissed her passionately on the lips, and she responded as she always had, putting all her emotions and love into it. It felt so good to be kissing her again, that he gently broke the kiss to hug her tightly.
“Cassie, no matter what you might remember, don’t forget that I love you more than anything.”
“I remember waiting for you on this bridge every evening before dark—but you never came.”
“I did come, Cassie. The very next night after we had counseling with Carter, I came here, but you weren’t here. That’s when I discovered you’d have an accident.”
Silas could tell by the “dawning” look on Cassie’s face that she was now remembering everything.
She gazed up at him and asked, “So you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive, Cassie. It’s you who need to forgive me for being so stubborn, selfish, and dimwitted,” he said, kissing her again.
This time she broke the kiss first. “I remembered thinking, at the time, that you were angry with me, and that had the situation been reversed, and you had courted someone else, I’d have felt the very same way.”
“There is a solution,” he whispered in her ear.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“From now on we’ll never be apart,” he said, “and no one will ever come between us again.”
“I don’t ever want anyone but you, Silas. When I couldn’t remember you, it was strange because I was still drawn to you. Ma said that while my brain may have forgotten you, my heart hadn’t. I now know that it’s true. I love you with all my heart.”
Silas knelt before her. “Cassandra Collins, will you marry me?”
She started to answer, but he held up his hand, “Wait, there’s more.” He cleared his throat. “Will you stand with me in front of Reverend Carter, and say the vows that will bind us together, forever?”
“Yes, I will.”
They stood, kissing, on their kissing bridge.
Epilogue
They had a Christmas wedding on the bridge; their kissing bridge. Reverend Carter stood, holding his Bible before the smiling bride and the proud groom. Also present for the ceremony were Jesse, Laura, Meg, Carl, Oliver, Beth, Jake, Nellie and Maggie.
After the ceremony, Cassie and Silas built a house on their own two hundred acres. Silas let Oliver run the livery and rent his home. Eventually, Oliver would be able to buy both house and livery from Silas. Oliver and Beth had decided to expand their family and were expecting a baby soon.
Silas became a true rancher and loved working alongside his wife, and the ranch flourished.