by Kelly Harper
“Well, I was right, wasn’t I?”
“It’s just that,” Stephanie cut in, “Collin sounds like the first respectable guy you’ve actually taken an interest in.”
Bre didn’t have any response for that. Sure, she kept Evan around a bit longer than anyone else, but it’s not like he was as terrible as they were making him out to be. No one is perfect. Not even Collin. Though, she had to admit, he had a lot going for him.
Aimee studied her for a long moment with a concerned look in her eye.
“You know it’s okay to just be happy, right?”
“What kind of thing is that to say? Of course I know that.”
“It’s not always so obvious with you,” she said.
“I just… don’t like letting anyone in.”
Stephanie said, “It sounds like whatever you’re doing is working out pretty well. Just keep doing it.”
“Barely,” Bre corrected. “And I’m still not convinced it’s the best idea.”
“Michael and I tell each other everything. I can’t imagine being with someone that I couldn’t be totally open with.”
“I do just fine with keeping things to myself, thank you very much.”
Stephanie leaned in closer, a conspiratorial glint in her eye.
“Trust me, the deeper that emotional connection is, the hotter the sex gets.”
“Finally you’ve said something that makes sense!” Bre said, eliciting a round of laughter from everyone. The laugh felt good, but she was still feeling pretty raw. She couldn’t take much more of this questioning without having a full breakdown. She needed to talk about anything else. “How about another round of drinks to hot sex? My treat!”
Stephanie and Aimee were quick to accept the offer. They could probably tell that she’d taken just about all of their criticisms that she could handle for one night. She needed to put the entire conversation as far away from her as she possibly could until she had time to sort through it for herself, and the best way she could think to do that was to get completely shit-faced. And maybe spend some quality time with her special toy. It was no substitute for the real thing but, for the next week while Collin was gone, it would have to do.
Chapter Seven
If Bre thought the few days apart from Collin after they got back from the Hamptons was difficult, it was nothing compared to the full two weeks he’d been away on business. Sure, it had been nice spending time catching up with the girls, but she was actually starting to miss him. She and Collin had been seeing each other on a regular basis before he left, and she hated to admit that she’d formed a bit of an attachment.
Of course, the fact that he could do so many things with that magical tongue of his certainly helped. What girl wouldn’t get attached to being spoiled like that?
Bre spent most of the first week trying not to think about him at all. This was when she’d called the girls. Auspiciously it was to catch up with them since they hadn’t gotten together in a while, but really she was just looking for some help in keeping her mind off of the man that was slowly starting to consume her thoughts.
She spent a lot of time in the second week of his trip considering what Stephanie and Aimee had told her. She’d been convinced they were wrong at the time, but the more she thought about it the less certain she was. Did she really push away only the guys that might be good for her? Was it really possible that she ruined everything in her life that brought her happiness?
It all sounded like crazy-talk. Why in the world would anyone do that to themselves? But still… it made her think. She needed to keep it in mind going forward; just to make sure she wasn’t doing anything as idiotic as what they were saying.
Later in that second week Bre finally started giving in to her thoughts about Collin. She wondered what it would be like to travel the world with him and live out of penthouse hotel suites while he held meetings with high-powered business foreigners. That life would be far different than the one she had right now. Bre wasn’t interested in the usual historical and cultural attractions that seemed to be the reason most people traveled to Europe, but she was sure she could find something to do with herself.
After Collin mentioned he would be in Milan, she immediately jumped on Google to learn more about it. It hadn’t taken her long to learn that Milan was the home of the supercar manufacturer, Alfa Romeo, and they had a historical museum at their headquarters. Now that was the kind of museum Bre could get excited about! She had told Collin all about it and made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that it would be a complete dealbreaker if he didn’t check it out for her and tell her all about it. He’d played along, but she suspected he really couldn’t have cared less.
It wouldn’t really be that big of a deal if Collin didn’t go see it for her. It’s not like he was interested in cars as much as her. He would just have to make it up to her with some of that sweet dick of his as soon as they saw each other. Then all would be forgiven.
Going without sex for two weeks had never before left her feeling so completely deprived. Before Collin, it had never been an issue because Bre had always known she could laid whenever she wanted. Now that she was officially dating someone, she couldn’t go sleeping around. What was even worse was the fact that she didn’t even want to fuck anyone else. That realization had left her feeling completely out of sorts with herself. She tried not to dwell on it for too long—no good would come from confronting it.
The night before he flew back, Collin called to check in. It was late for Bre but early morning in Italy. His flight was landing at J.F.K. and they made plans to meet for drinks at Neir’s Tavern, a bar near the airport that claimed to be the oldest bar in the country. Bre didn’t really care where they met as long as she got to spend some time with him. She would have been completely fine waiting naked in his bed for him to come home.
Bre arrived at the bar early, nearly unable to contain her excitement. She’d never been to the place, but it definitely had character. Just because a place claimed itself as the oldest bar in the country didn’t mean everything in the bar had to be old as well. The wooden floors and tables had a weathered look that might as well have sparkled and glistened compared to the condition of the actual bar itself. The walls were a dull green that looked like they belonged in an Irish pub and there were various movie posters and framed pictures on the wall because some famous old movie had been filmed there.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long before she got a text from Collin saying he’d landed and was on his way. Bre eyed the door like a hawk every time it opened until she finally saw his familiar frame come striding in confidently. He looked stunning in a dark gray suit with a pressed, white shirt. She never would have guessed he’d been in Italy just hours earlier.
She greeted him with a huge hug and a kiss before motioning towards their table where she already had a drink waiting for him. They hadn’t even had much time for small talk before she found herself giving him an expectant grin over her drink.
“What’s that look for?” Collin asked, innocently.
“What? I can’t look adoringly at my boyfriend after he’s been out of town for two weeks?”
Collin gave her a sideways look. The smile on his face betrayed his excitement.
“Are we using labels now?”
Bre rolled her eyes.
“Don’t ruin the mood.”
“My apologies, I didn’t mean to question your choice of words,” he said, holding his hands up. The grin on his face grew larger. “I never know what to expect with you.”
“Good,” she said, meaning it. She leered at him for a long moment before prompting, “So?”
“So?”
“How was your trip? I want to hear all about it!”
He let out a laugh. It felt so good to hear that laugh in person again.
“You make it sound like we didn’t talk every day while I was gone.”
“Are you saying I’m being too needy?”
“I don’t think you’re actually capab
le of being needy.”
Her eyes narrowed while she glared at him.
“I’ll have you know that I’m probably the lowest maintenance girl you’ll ever date.”
Collin choked back a laugh as he nodded his head in agreement.
“Yes, of course. I think you might be the most laid back woman I’ve ever met.”
“I know you’re giving me shit, and I don’t care,” Bre said, matter-of-factly.
Collin reached out and took her hand in his. The soft warmth of his grip immediately loosened her up. He locked eyes with her, fixing her with an intense look.
“Whatever kind of maintenance you are, I’m willing to pay the price.”
For a moment, Bre was speechless. Finally she mumbled, “You’d better be.”
He squeezed her hand and the smile that spread across his face let her know he understood how much she appreciated his statement, even if she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“The trip went well,” he said. “But you already know that.”
“Well… there is one piece of important information I don’t know yet.”
“And that is?”
She gave him a look.
“Stop making me spell everything out… Did you make it to the Alfa Romeo museum like I wanted?”
The grin on Collin’s face faded and Bre instantly felt her spirits falling.
“I wanted to… But the schedule was too tight and I just couldn’t fit it in.”
“Oh.”
As dumb as it was, Bre was actually crestfallen. It wasn’t like Collin had promised to follow through on her silly request. And she knew from talking to him that he’d been working some pretty long days. She probably would just give him shit if he actually went out of his way for her. But a part of her had been hoping he’d do it anyway. She shouldn’t be disappointed, but she could tell by the look on his face that he knew he’d let her down.
“It’s okay,” she said, quickly. “I wasn’t really serious, anyway. It’s not a big deal.”
Collin’s sullen look remained for a long moment before a huge smile spread across his face. He reached into his coat pocket and withdrew a thin white box with a red ribbon tied around it. It obviously hadn’t been in his pocket for long; the bow didn’t look smushed at all.
“What is this?” Bre asked, staring at it. She hadn’t expected him to get her anything.
“Open it and find out.”
“You know how I feel about surprises…”
Collin shot her a flat look.
“Would you just open it?”
She let out an annoyed sigh and pulled the end of the ribbon to untie it. Lifting the lid off the box, she found a circular keychain with a blue border surrounding what looked like a green snake eating a white plane with a red cross behind them. The name Alfa Romeo was printed on the top, in the blue border. On the bottom, it read Italia. The keychain was attached to a bright gold loop. She didn’t quite know why the little gift suddenly meant so much to her.
Collin watched her as she took it in.
“So you did go to the museum?” she asked.
“I had to make it a quick trip, but you seemed really excited about it so I wanted to bring a little something back for you,” he said. He pointed at the lettering. “They told me the only place you can get the keychain with Italia written on it was from the museum.” He watched her for a bit longer. “I hope it’s not too much.”
“It’s perfect,” Bre said, shaking her head. “Of course it would be better if there was a key attached…”
Collin let out a laugh.
“I thought you said you don’t like big surprises… now you want me to buy you a car?”
“Oh, I’d take the car. It would be my consolation prize for you freaking me out again.”
He let out another loud laugh. Hearing his laugh in person was definitely a lot nicer than hearing it over the phone.
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”
She beamed a smile at him.
“Thank you for the gift, it was very thoughtful.” Very thoughtful, and it didn’t make her feel like she needed to run away as fast as possible—that was a rare combination. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Something changed in Collin’s demeanor. He shifted, uncomfortably.
“Well, about that… I have some good news and some bad news.”
Bre got a sinking feeling in her belly.
“What is it?”
“I have to fly out again tomorrow,” he said. “Something happened in London and Logan asked me to handle it.”
Bre nearly growled under her breath.
“Does he ever handle things for himself?” she asked, feeling surprisingly annoyed.
Collin gave her an apologetic look.
“This is my job. Things come up and Logan need someone he can trust to make sure they get fixed.”
“I know, it’s just…” She shook her head, trying to let it go. “I hope that’s the bad news and not the good.”
A grin spread across his face. He reached out and took her hand into his.
“The good news is that I’m all yours for the night!”
Bre had been hoping for a whole lot more than that but she’d take what she could get.
“Then what are we waiting for?” she said.
She grabbed her drink and slammed it back, not stopping until she’d finished the whole thing. The smile on Collin’s face spread even wider. He followed suit.
“We don’t have any time to waste,” she said, grabbing her things. “It’s going to be a bitch getting back to your place at this hour.” She got up to leave, but Collin hesitated. She gave him a curious look. “What is it?”
“I was thinking we could just go back to your place instead. It’s a lot closer.”
“You don’t want to to do that… You’ve been living out of a suitcase for two weeks.”
Collin waved a hand.
“I don’t care about that; I’m used to it. I’ve got plenty of clothes for the London trip.” He gave her a long look. “I just want to spend as much time with you as possible.”
Bre got a sinking feeling in her stomach. It was sweet of him to say that, but it didn’t make her feel any better.
“You’d be so much more comfortable at home. We can do my place some other time—I promise you’re not missing anything.”
His features hardened, suddenly.
“Why do I get the sense that you’re hiding something from me?” he asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Bre. We’ve been circling this topic for as long as we’ve been dating. Why won’t you let me see your place? You always make up some reason why it’s inconvenient.”
She could feel herself getting more and more defensive.
“I’m not hiding anything! I just wasn’t expecting you tonight. Maybe if you’d told me earlier that you wanted to come over we could have worked something out.”
Collin shook his head.
“Don’t turn this around on me. We’ve been dating for a while—I shouldn’t have to make a reservation to come over.”
Bre’s chest tightened to the point that it was hard to breathe.
“Look, this is a big deal for me,” she said. “I have a hard time letting people into my life.”
Annoyingly, her admission didn’t seem to calm Collin at all. All this being open and sharing your feelings was complete bullshit.
“Of course it’s a big deal!” he said, his voice rising. “I’m falling for a woman who keeps me so distant that I’ve never even seen the place she calls home.”
“I’ve let you into my life!” she countered. I’ve shared things with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else.” What kind of nerve did he even have saying all this stuff? “That’s got to count for something.”
“Of course it does. Which is why I don’t know what to think about you not letting me come over.”
“I’m just not ready.”
Her words hung
in the air for a long moment. They had a weight of finality to them that she hadn’t expected; that she hadn’t even intended. But there it was. Finally, Collin’s face softened—resigned. He took a deep breath before saying anything.
“Okay… Okay…” His eyes were focused on the table, as though he was talking to himself and not her. He nodded a couple times before looking at her again. “I hear you, and I appreciate what you’re saying, but I can’t keep going on like this.”
Bre’s forehead crinkled as her chest tightened even more.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that, if you still can’t let me in, I think it’s best we stop seeing each other.”
“I can’t believe you. You’re really going to end what we’ve got over this?”
He held his hands up.
“What do you expect me to do? If I don’t end it now I’m going to completely fall for you and it’s only going to hurt more when you keep me pushed away.” He gave the tiniest shrug. “I have to protect myself.”
She couldn’t believe him. She wasn’t keeping him pushed away. Was she? Well, she wasn’t going to let him bully or pressure her into doing something she told him she didn’t want to do.
“Well, I need more time. So I guess you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do…”
He took another long breath before nodding. He pulled a money clip from his jacket, peeled off some cash, and threw it on the table.
“Take care of yourself, Bre.”
Collin gave her one final smile before he left her sitting there. Bre was so shocked she couldn’t do anything but watch him walk away.
Chapter Eight
Bre stared dumbly at Collin as he walked away. Her brain raced to make sense of everything. It was all wrong. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. They were supposed to be getting drunk and having wild sex—not breaking up.
Is that really what was happening? Were they really breaking up? Yes. And it was because of her.