by Lila Rose
Caden ‘Pick’ Adams also wanted her. He even had strong feelings for Josie Alexander. At the time, we thought we were doing the right thing by telling her how we felt, at the same time, we cared and wanted her to stay in Ballarat with us. To be with each of us to see who she would choose.
She was scared of the idea.
Frightened.
Both of us could see it swarming her eyes and making her body shiver.
So she chose no one.
Because she had been scared.
But most of all, it was because she didn’t want to hurt either of us.
She couldn’t see that she already had.
Josie was....Christ, she was everything. Sweet, shy, beautiful...everything.
Pick, hell, he was domineering and a pain. Most of all, he was fuckin’ annoying because he was a good man. He was a man I needed to steer clear of to keep myself sane.
Not that I’d have much luck in the next month or so. Not until we’d clear Josie of her hell and we’d be apart once again.
Yeah, the next month or so was gonna be hard for my sanity, body and heart.
As for why I stayed away from Pick for the last two years...I was a mean motherfuckin’ biker. I wasn’t some pining bi tool, wanting to suck another man’s cock.
Crap. Scrap that cock thought from your head, idiot. It’ll lead to dangerous thoughts.
Like the feel of Pick sliding his dick in and out of my mouth.
The taste of Pick on my tongue.
The way his body moved.
His face when he blew his load into my mouth.
And then after when he tried to...sleep beside me.
As if I meant something to him.
But I can’t.
I won’t.
Because Josie meant more to me than him.
Fucking hell.
Another lie, they both mean so much to me.
Was I even bi? I didn’t know because there’d been only one man who had me thinking I could be. There’d been only one man I’d let touch me and sucked off. I had hoped it was the booze talking that night. I wasn’t so sure anymore, and hadn’t been sure for a long time.
Confusion punctuated every feeling and thought when it came to Caden Adams.
Christ, it was present with both him and Josie. I knew I wanted both of them, but how could that possibly work? It was fuckin’ weird. And I hated the thought if something did happen, our brothers would kick our arses for being strange motherfuckers.
I couldn’t risk Josie or Caden. They’d been through enough shit in their lives.
Caden said he was bi. He knew he was because the night we were...together, he’d said he’d been to clubs. He’d had a taste of it and liked it.
That had made me jealous. Made me want to punch anything or anyone in sight.
I’d felt jealously about both of them. Some days when I’d see other brothers lookin’ at Josie, as if they wanted a piece from her, I wanted to beat their fuckin’ brains in. Never Caden though. I enjoyed seeing him watchin’ her like I did, with so much emotion.
Still, with the two of them, I was cautious.
Because what punched me right in the gut, was the fact I knew about both of their pasts and both had been shit. So shit, I would do anything for nothing like that to happen again. Unfairness settled deep in my stomach as I packed my saddle bag. Why had two people who meant something to me—even when I was denying some of those feeling—had so much pain in their lives?
That injustice was also because my past had been nothing like theirs.
I was the rich kid in school. I was loved by my parents, even though they hated each other. Though by loved, I meant bought off with pricey shit. I wasn’t beaten or raped. The only reason I joined Hawks MC was because I liked the fact women went crazy for a biker. I also needed a job. I didn’t want my parents to think their money was all I needed from them. I wanted nothing from them really. They were cold, heartless bastards. So I took a job at fourteen in Talon’s garage. Cleaned, and worked on cars when a brother had the time to show me what to do. Learning wasn’t hard. I was always a fast learner. In no time, I had my own customers and I was building my own Harley from scratch.
The only thing I never had was love.
And that dumb fucking love feeling had me wishing I knew Josie and Caden back then so I could have used my parents’ money, the only time I would have taken it freely, to save them from their dangerous pasts.
That fucked-up love feeling had me thinking of Josie and Caden all the goddamn time.
Ride. That was what I needed to do. Get on my Harley and ride instead of thinking so fucking hard it hurt my head with a deep pounding behind my eyes.
Walking down the hall from my room at the compound, where I’d been living for four years, I rounded the corner and stopped at Caden’s door.
Fuck. I had to remember to call him Pick.
I’d called him Caden that night, after he told me to.
Knocking, I heard a growled “enter”, and I opened the door to see him shouldering his bag. “You ready to roll?” I asked, starin’ at nothing but his face. Even when my eyes wanted to trace his body, I didn’t let them.
Jesus, I needed to get laid. Pumping some pussy without anythin’ on my mind but the sweet taste of an orgasm was what I needed.
“Yeah, let’s get this over with.”
Shit, all pussy thoughts left because Pick sounded like he didn’t want to go at all, but I knew it’d be a lie. He’d do anything for Josie. Still, I found myself saying, “I can go on my fuckin’ own if you prefer that?”
He glared at me, shouldered past me and walked out of the room. I followed, closing his door behind me.
Out at our Harleys parked out the front of the compound, I asked, “What’s the plan? We goin’ straight to Josie?”
After Pick had settled his bag to his bike, he swung a jean leg over and looked around at me as he shrugged into his leather jacket. “We find a place to stay. It’ll be late by the time we get there, and we’ll wait ‘til tomorrow. Catch Josie at her school, then try and catch the fuckheads gettin’ to her. After that, we deal with them.”
Nodding, I said, “Sounds cool, but boss-man said we can stay at the compound in Caroline Springs.”
He shook his head. “No, I want to stay close to the uni so we can get there early. I’m not sure of her schedule.”
“I’ve got Nancy emailing it through to me,” I said.
He sent a chin lift my way. “Good. Still, we’re staying close. Now, let’s move.” He kick-started his Harley and it roared to life with no trouble at all. Quickly, I placed my helmet and gloves on. As soon as I had my bike goin’, Pick rolled outta the compound parking area and I followed behind.
The ride was over an hour and a half and fuck, it felt great. I hadn’t had the chance for anything other than working in boss’ business. I’d happen to have a lot more customers recently, since goddamn Mindy Calhoun walked into the shop and liked what she saw in me. She was a fuckin’ cougar. Even though she was hot for her age, there was no way I was stickin’ my dick in her. However, she’d sent all her cougar friends to the business and they’d all asked for me to service them. It was good for Talon’s business, but not for me. Fuckin’ loved my job, loved gettin’ my hands on shit to fix. What I didn’t love were the married whores who flirted, expectin’ to have a piece of my arse.
That was never gonna happen.
Christ, I may look the part of their wet dreams, with my blond hair, and blue eyes, but that was where it ended.
Still, they tried and when they did, it didn’t fuckin’ look good.
They’d wrap their bodies around me, touch me and fuck with me. So when my brothers saw it, they all thought I was dippin’ into their snatches.
I swear even Pick thought it.
He’d seen it one day when Mindy had unexpectedly turned up. Pick walked in at the wrong time when Mindy had grabbed my hand and led it to her soaking panties under her short skirt. He soon walked straight ba
ck out, so he hadn’t seen me push her away.
Hell, I hadn’t been with anyone in a fuckin’ long time. My cock was aching for a sweet, tight hole, but all I gave it was my hand and images of two people.
Motherfuckin’ Christ. I needed to change that. I needed to get laid or the next month or so was gonna be harder than I imagined.
Shakin’ all thoughts from my head as we hit the city was best or else I’d end up as road kill and I couldn’t have that, not when I had some shitheads to deal with.
Caden—dammit—Pick pulled up to a nice looking hotel. He slipped off his bike, pulled his helmet and gloves off and walked to the entrance. I wasn’t far behind, so I heard him ask, “Two rooms.”
The receptionist smiled seductively up at him. He was a tall fucker. I hated the way she licked her lips. “I’m sorry, sir, we only have one room available.”
Of fucking course they did.
Shit.
His hands clenched at his sides. “There another hotel around?” he asked.
“Yes, but I presume they’re all booked as well. There’s a book signing going on at the moment. A lot of authors have travelled to Melbourne for it.”
Fuck.
“Fine,” Pick hissed through clenched teeth. “We’ll take the room.”
The bitch licked her lips again. “I, um, if your friend wants to stay in the room, I have a spare room for you at my house.”
Jesus. It was my turn to clench my hands into fists so I didn’t reach over the counter to slap the slut.
Pick’s body tensed. “No. Just the room.”
Take fuckin’ that, you stupid whore.
She pouted. “I’m sure I could make your stay in Melbourne more...pleasurable.”
Not being able to stop myself, I stepped up to the desk and growled, “Do you usually offer yourself up for customers? What would your boss think of that? I didn’t know hookers were branching out and working day shifts in fuckin’ hotels now.”
She blanched, her once red cheeks turned ghostly white. “Right, one room and how long will you both be staying?”
“Don’t know,” Caden answered. I stepped back, glad he was the one to answer because I would have said something else she wouldn’t like.
“It’s one hundred and thirty a night.” She smirked. The bitch changed her ‘tude and looked at us from head to toe, probably thinkin’ we wouldn’t be able to afford it.
“That’s fine.” Pick sighed.
“Great.” She turned to get a paper that just printed out and in that time, Caden looked over his shoulder at me. I glared. “Just sign here,” the woman said. Pick did. “Thank you, you’ll be in room 209 and I hope you enjoy your stay,” she said only to Caden.
In silence, we went out to our bikes, parked them under the hotel in their car park and took the lift to the fourth floor.
Once in the room, that held a small kitchenette and lounge, the room off to the side which no doubt held the bathroom in with it, I said, “I’ll take the couch.”
“Fine.” His short reply pissed me off and when he walked off to the bedroom saying nothing else, I found myself furious.
Yeah. The month was gonna be fuckin’ hell.
Chapter Four
Josie
My heart was in my throat. It was how I woke nearly every morning, with a sweaty, trembling body and my heart fighting its way out of my chest. Night terrors weren’t a blast. They were exhausting and terrifying. I had hoped over the last four years, since I was saved from David, the night terrors would eventually fade. They hadn’t.
What helped them stay, my guess, was because I was weak.
It was also the fact that my life was upside down once again.
“Josie, time to get your cute butt moving,” Simone yelled from the hall. She would be walking past so she could get to the bathroom first, which was why I started taking showers at night; she took too long in the bathroom, making us both late.
Even though I had just woken with fright filling my veins, I smiled.
I smiled because Simone could do that to a person. That smile may not reach my eyes, but it helped me get out of bed each morning. It also helped me continue on each day to reach the goals I wanted to.
Climbing out of bed, I donned a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. It was big, but warm on the colder days in winter times. Packing my bag, my mind drifted to my family in Ballarat. I wondered what they were all doing. Would Zara already be up with her twins who were turning three in a couple of months? Would Julian and Mattie’s plans for their wedding be all organised?
My thoughts even glided to Deanna, or Hell Mouth as most called her. It was only just over a year ago she had her baby boy, Nicholas. Zara had emailed me a video recorded by Dodge. I’d lost count of the amount of times I’d watched it. Still, every time had me laughing and smiling and then wishing I was home.
“Are you recording?” Zara asked, smiling into the camera.
“Is the fuckin’ light flashing red, Wildcat?” Dodge growled.
“Yes.”
“Then it’s recording.”
“Awesome.” Zara smiled and started walking down a hall. “Hey, Josie, I wish you were here today. We miss you so much. However, seems you’re working hard studying, I thought I’d share this special day with you this way.” She stopped, faced the camera, and clapped with glee. “Guess what, Deanna is having her baby right now.” She turned and then rounded the corner. The camera adjusted to zoom in on Deanna standing at the bar, one hand supporting herself on the wooden top while her body bent forward as she breathed hard.
Her head turned toward the camera, her eyes widening. “What in the fuck are you doing?”
“I’ve got Dodge to film it for Josie,” Zara said.
“Are you fucking high?” Deanna bellowed and then all thoughts flew from her mind when a contraction started. She moaned in pain. Griz stepped up behind her to rub her back.
“We need to get to the hospital,” he growled.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Deanna chanted. Her head turned to a smiling Zara and glared. “How in the fuck did you do this twice? You’re fucking crazy to want to go through it again. Crazy, stupid w-w-woman. Jesus,” she screamed. Zara wasn’t crazy. She was the nicest person I knew and I was so proud to call her my sister. What she was doing for Julian and our brother, Mattie, was amazing. Willing to give them a gift of having their own child...My sister was wonderful.
“Car’s ready. Let’s roll,” I heard Talon’s voice coming from somewhere off camera.
“This is where I hand it over to you, boss. I ain’t coming to the hospital,” Dodge said from behind the camera as it filmed Griz helping Deanna walk toward the hall to the front door.
“You promised my woman to do it, you’re fuckin’ doin’ it,” Talon ordered.
“Fuck,” Dodge snapped.
“What in the fuck are you looking at?” Deanna yelled at someone off camera. Only then her hand whipped out taking hold of some material.
“Princess, let Dive go.”
“You all should be in pain if I am,” Deanna yelled to the room. “You all need to suffer.”
“Believe me, we are,” Dodge uttered. Deanna turned to him. “Shit,” he hissed.
“Deanna, we’re gettin’ to the motherfuckin’ hospital before you pop our kid out here on the floor. Now move.”
“It isn’t the cleanest place,” Zara offered.
Griz glared at Zara and with Talon’s help, they moved Deanna out of the compound and into the car. Dodge, with the camera, climbed into the back of Griz’s four-wheel drive while Talon hopped in behind the wheel. Zara climbed into the passenger seat leaving Deanna and Griz to the back seat. Dodge leaned over the back seat to film Deanna resting her head on Griz’s legs. He ran his hand through her hair. I was lucky enough to see her soft smile.
The camera jolted around as the car moved. With Talon driving, I knew he would be swerving through traffic.
“I’m going to hurt you for this,” Deanna groaned, looking up a
t her man. Her hand came up and gripped his tee.
“I look forward to it, princess.” Griz chuckled.
“Zara,” Deanna screamed. “Oh, fuck, I feel like I want to push.”
“Oh, God,” Zara gasped.
“What?” Griz yelled.
“It means she’s close.”
“Kitten, will we make it to the hospital?”
“I need to push,” Deanna screamed. “Grady, you fucker, oh, God, I don’t want our kid born in our car.”
“It’ll be okay.” He nodded down at her. “Wildcat?” he asked in a panicked voice, a voice I had never heard from him before.
With wide eyes, Zara ordered, “Talon, pull over. Call an ambulance.” Once he did, she climbed out of the car, must have run around to Deanna’s side, because the door was flung open. “I need to take your panties off,” Zara said, her hands sliding up under Deanna’s skirt.
“Hot damn, girl action,” Dodge foolishly said.
The camera was then dropped and all I heard were voices.
“Shut the fuck up,” Griz growled. “Get out, get out now before I kill you.”
“Zara,” Deanna screamed.
“She’s crowning, the baby’s coming,” Zara yelled. “Push, Dee, push.”
“Come on, princess, you can do this.”
“Of...fucking...course...I...can,” Deanna bellowed.
In the next second, a baby’s cry was heard and my heart melted.
The video ended in the hospital, capturing Deanna, the hardest woman I knew, smiling sweetly down at her baby boy, with Griz standing protectively over them.
“Jose, come on, girlfriend,” Simone yelled. I opened my door and walked down the hall to see her waiting at the front door.
“Sorry,” I said and picked up my backpack from the floor just as we heard a door behind us open. Parker, looking sleep deprived, walked out of his room in nothing but boxers. I heard Simone sigh in appreciation. I would have also, but I quickly bit my bottom lip. He staggered his way to the bathroom at the end of the hall without a hello or anything.
“Damn, that man is fine,” Simone whispered. I gave her a tight-lipped smile and a small nod before I opened our front door and walked out. She was right though. Parker was fine. His body seemed as though it were etched from stone: hard and beautiful.