If I Can't Have You

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If I Can't Have You Page 17

by Dawn Jiles


  We all took a seat and sat in silence, not knowing what to say. I looked over at Mo, and she was crying her eyes out. I really hated her now—I mean really hated her—and I was going to show her how much sooner than later.

  “Girls, I am so sorry you two had to find out this way. I had planned to sit you two down and discuss this in private, but Kendra took it upon herself to do things the wrong way,” he said.

  I looked at my father real hard, and I realized I looked just like him. The only real difference was I was light skinned and he wasn’t. How had I never noticed the resemblance?

  “Dad, how could you lie to us all this time? I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for this. We have been friends since we were five years old, she has spent nights over at our house, we have done some of everything together, and you never once mentioned that she was my sister,” Monique said.

  “Look, I am sorry, baby. I love you both, and I never meant to hurt either one of you,” he said.

  “What did you think was going to happen with you lying to us for all these years? Did you think we would be jumping for joy? I really don’t have nothing else to say to you or mom. I am tired of everyone around me keeping secrets from me and shit. I’m done with everybody at this point. I can’t even deal,” Monique said as she stood up to leave.

  “Monique, sit your ass down, and you better watch your mouth. You are not that grown. I will still whip your ass,” our dad yelled.

  She didn’t listen to him; she just kept walking toward the door. He just stared at me, and you could tell he was searching for the right words to say. But it did not even matter, because I finally had my father, and that was all I had ever wanted.

  “I am sorry, sweetie. I really am. I know I haven’t been much of a father to you, but I would like to start being a better one, starting now. Can you please forgive me, Samariah?” my dad said to me, on the verge of tears.

  “I forgive you, Dad. I’m just happy to finally know who you are. When I was little, all I could remember about you was that you were dark skinned. Can you please just promise you will never leave me again?”

  He stood up, and so did I. He hugged me tight, then kissed me on my forehead. “I will never leave you again, baby girl,” he said. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. Your sister is probably pissed that her engagement party was ruined once again, and I know she is upset with me.”

  I did not respond, because honestly, I didn’t give a shit about her feelings, and as soon as I got the chance, I was going to get rid of that bitch for good. I was tired of her taking everything from me—first, Corey, and now my dad. Oh yeah, she definitely had to go.

  Chapter Twenty

  Samariah

  When I finally made it home that night, I found my mother in her bedroom with a bottle of Hennessy. She was drunk as hell. I know you are probably thinking, why did she forgive her dad? But hear me out. All I ever wanted was my dad around. I would see my friends and relatives doing things with their fathers, and I wanted to do those things too. I remember not going to the father-daughter dances, because my daddy was never around. I remember Mo bragging about how she would go with her father and they would have so much fun. She was the reason I could never go to those dances.

  “Mom, why are you in here getting drunk?” I asked, startling her. She was so drunk that she didn’t even know I had been standing in the doorway all this time.

  “Baby, I am so sorry you had to find out who your father was that way. I was getting sick to my stomach hearing him brag about Monique like he didn’t have another daughter. That shit just pushed me over the edge,” she said, taking a swig from her bottle.

  “I don’t understand how you and my father could hide something so important from me for this long. Mom, you should have told me. It’s always been me and you,” I cried.

  “I wanted to tell you, Samariah, but your father made me promise not to tell. All his ass cares about is that bitch Sharon, who I plan to fuck up next time I see her ass, and your sister,” she said.

  “When did y’all even date? I mean, how did this happen?” I asked.

  My mom told me everything that had happened between her and my father. Knowing that my mother had him first pissed me off even more, because if Sharon had never stolen my dad from my mother, I would be his only child. Now I had to hurt Sharon’s ass too. I refused to let her old ass get away with hurting my mom, so now her ass was on my list too.

  “Mom, how did you just let her steal your man? You look better than her!” I shouted. “You need to get up and get your man. Why are you sitting here drunk and shit? You need to be figuring out how you’re going to get my damn daddy back.”

  My mother looked at me like I had lost my mind.

  “Why you sitting there looking at me? We got work to do! We are going to get revenge on both of those bitches for taking our lives. We cannot let them get away with what they did,” I said.

  “Sam, watch your fucking mouth. I am still your mother, so do not talk to me that way. But I am down with revenge, so what are we going to do?” my mother asked.

  “Sorry, Mom, but this is serious. You have to get your stuff together,” I told her.

  She looked at me and began to cry. “I love you so much, Samariah, and I never meant to hurt you. I love your father with everything in me, but he refuses to even look my way. I gave that man everything in me, and he allowed that bitch to just steal him away from me. All I ever wanted was for us three to be a family. Let’s do whatever it takes to get him back,” she said, smiling.

  My mother was very beautiful, but she had let herself go over the years. She was light skinned and had the sexiest body ever. She had a big ass and a small waist, and she had small, perky breasts that sat nice on her chest. She had hazel eyes and small pouty lips. She kind of put you in mind of Vanessa Williams, but she was much shapelier.

  “Mom, you are very beautiful, but you have let yourself go over the years. Look at these big-ass clothes you got on, and look at your hair. You wear that same dirty-ass ponytail. We have to get you made over. Get yourself some rest, and the first thing tomorrow morning we are getting you some clothes, and we are going to the nail and hair shop,” I said. I kissed my mom on the forehead and then went to bed.

  The next day we did everything I said we would, and my mom looked sexy as hell. Now it was time to make our move.

  Kendra

  I could not believe my daughter was talking to me the way she was, but she was absolutely right about everything she said. I needed to get my shit together if I wanted my man back. I got my hair washed and curled in some loose body curls with some brown and blond highlights. Over the years, I had saved up a lot of money. When I was working at the hospital, I had saved every last one of my checks because Tim had taken care of everything, so I didn’t have to spend any money. He would put six thousand dollars in my account every two weeks to take care of me and Sam. I would put three thousand dollars in Sam’s checking account and keep the rest for myself, so I was pretty set. That was why it was easy for me to get a whole new wardrobe.

  Tim sent me a message letting me know he was on his way so that we could talk. I threw on a formfitting, leopard-print halter pencil dress with some red Chanel heels. I put on a gold diamond tennis bracelet and matching earrings, and I topped it off with some red lipstick. I made sure to wear nothing but a thong, because I knew he loved the way my ass jiggled when I was wearing one.

  I strutted to the door when I heard the doorbell ring. Sam was in her room with Kevin, but I knew she was wondering what was going to happen. She knew her dad was on the way. I looked through the peephole, and there Tim was, standing there, looking as sexy as could be. Tim was dark as hell and had pearly white teeth. He had his hair cut like Usher had his cut, in a Mohawk, but he had naturally curly hair, so it looked even better. Muscles were popping out everywhere; he definitely resembled Idris Elba’s fine ass.

  I looked past him to his car, and I noticed Sharon sitting in the car. She looked pissed as hell. Well
, by the time he left here, I was going to give her a reason to be mad. I opened the door wide as hell so that she would notice me, and just like I expected, she looked right at me. I smirked, then turned to walk back in my house. I had definitely noticed how Tim’s mouth dropped when I opened the door. He had expected the old Kendra to open that door, but her ass was gone, the new and improved Kendra was here, and she definitely had something to prove. She was getting her man back. He closed the door, and I turned to face him. His eyes were roaming all over my body, and then they landed on my breasts, which were popping out of my halter dress at the moment.

  “What do you need to talk about, Tim? I have somewhere to be,” I lied while adjusting the top part of my dress. I made sure to expose some of one of my nipples while fixing it.

  “I, um, I need to talk to you about the stunt you pulled yesterday,” he said, adjusting his pants.

  “What about it? My daughter deserved to know who her father is. We held this from her long enough, don’t you think?” I said, smiling, as I walked into the living room. He followed. We both took a seat on the couch.

  “I agree, but that was not the way to go about it. That was totally out of line, and you started some bullshit. Do you know Monique refuses to talk to me or her mother because of the shit you pulled?” he said, growing angry.

  “Look, she would have been pissed either way. I am sorry she had to find out the way she did, but the damage is done, so what the hell do you want me to do about it?” I snapped, growing impatient.

  “You know what? I don’t know what made me think that your ignorant ass would actually feel bad for hurting my fucking daughter. You have always been a selfish bitch,” he said as he stood up to leave.

  “Look, Tim, I do feel bad, but there is nothing I can do about it now. The damage is already done,” I said as I walked behind him, then placed my arms around his waist. He smelled so good; he still wore that same cologne by Armani that he had worn all those years ago. He turned to face me, but he didn’t remove my hands from around his waist. I looked into his eyes, and we just stared at each other for what seemed like forever. The more we looked at each other, the wetter my pussy got.

  “Look, Kendra, that shit was out of line, and you owe Monique and my wife an apology for showing out the way you did,” he said.

  I kissed him on the cheek, then on his neck. I began to caress his dick, and he did not stop me. I was about to kiss him on the lips, but his wife blew the horn. He immediately pulled himself together, then walked to the door. He turned to look at me again, his eyes roaming my body once more.

  “Tell my daughter to call me,” he said, then walked out the door.

  I locked the door, then headed to my room with a big smile on my face, because I knew I had just started some shit. I knew he would be back to me sooner or later to get a taste of me. It was always hard for Tim to resist me when I was on my shit.

  Tim

  I got in the car, and I knew my wife was pissed at me. She had been feeling some type of way since the incident at the hospital. She had refused to give me any pussy. And last night had really pushed her over the edge.

  “What took you so long? You were supposed to go in there and put her ass in her place and that’s it. You was in there for ten minutes!” she snapped.

  “I know, baby. You know how Kendra can be sometimes,” I said, trying to get my mind off Kendra’s body.

  Like I said, my wife had been holding out on me for months, and I must admit that Kendra was looking sexy as hell. I had almost forgot my wife was outside in the car. I was definitely ready to go up in her ass. I knew for a fact that Kendra got some good pussy, and she knew how to suck dick. My thoughts were interrupted by a hard smack on the side of my face. I pulled the car over, then looked at my wife. I almost forgot who she was and hit her ass back.

  “What the hell are you putting your hands on me for?” I snapped, looking her dead in her face.

  “What the fuck is red lip prints doing on your face and neck!” my wife said, smacking me again. I couldn’t believe that bitch had left her lip prints on me. I had forgot she had on lipstick, because I was thinking with my dick and not my head.

  “Sam kissed me,” I lied.

  “Who the fuck do you are think you are talking to? Your black ass is lying,” she yelled as she began to swing wildly. My wife could fight her ass off. That was why I hated when her ass got mad. She was like a mini Tyson. I finally was able to get control of her hands.

  “Baby, calm down. Why would I be messing with Kendra when I know you are right outside? That don’t even make sense,” I said, looking at my wife. I knew for a fact that she didn’t believe me. I was one of the best lawyers in the Midwest, but I could never get one over on my wife. It was like she saw right through my ass.

  “Take me home, and your ass better find somewhere to go tonight, because you better not think about bringing your ass home. You can go back to that bitch, for all I care,” she said. I could see the hurt and pain in her eyes, and I knew she was tired of dealing with my shit. When we finally made it to our home, Sharon damn near hopped out of the car before I stopped. I climbed out quickly and followed her. She ran to the door and tried to shut it in my face.

  “I was not playing with your ass when I said you need to find a place to stay tonight. You and I absolutely cannot be in the same house tonight, because my temper is out of control right now and it’s taking everything I have not to punch you dead in your shit right now. So I’m asking you nicely to please get the hell out of our house,” she said. Then she stormed off to our bedroom and slammed the door.

  I stood there for a while before I left out of the house. I drove aimlessly for hours before I ended up in front of Kendra’s house. I knew this might get me in deeper trouble, but I was thinking with my little man instead of my head right now. I had needs that she was willing to meet for me. I parked inside of her garage, then entered the house from there. I made my way into her bedroom, and she was lying in the bed with nothing on but them red heels she had on earlier.

  She licked her fingers, then began to play with her pussy. My dick instantly sprang to life and was at full attention. She began to pat her clit, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I took off all my clothes, then walked over to her. I pulled her to the edge of her bed, then dove headfirst into her pussy. I sucked on her clit while inserting two fingers inside of her pussy. I continued to run laps on her clit with my tongue as she pushed my face deeper into her pussy. She moaned out my name as she came inside my mouth. I was ready to just fuck the shit out of her, but she had other plans.

  She pushed me up against the wall, then squatted in front of me. She took me in her mouth and then played with her pussy with her left hand. Kendra was the freak of all freaks; sex with her was almost better than with my wife. My wife had the best pussy ever, but Kendra knew how to please a man in the bedroom. She was freaky as hell and always into it. Her pussy stayed wet the entire time. She took all ten inches of me into her mouth, then began to smack her lips down my shaft. She repeated the process again, and I nearly exploded in her mouth.

  I pulled her up, had her get on all fours on the bed. I entered her soaking wet hole; I began to long stroke her. She threw that pussy back at me, and then we began to pick up our pace. She clutched her pussy walls down on my dick, and I nearly lost my mind. If I didn’t love my wife so fucking much, I would definitely wife Kendra because of the way her ass was making me feel right now. She told me to lie on the bed; then she got on top and slid down on my pole. She rode my dick, and I felt myself about to come.

  “Oh, shit. I’m about to come, baby!” I yelled.

  She jumped from on top of me, then took me in her mouth. I shot my seed down her throat. She went into the bathroom, cleaned herself off, and then did the same for me. We got under the covers, then went to sleep. A few hours later, I was awakened by her warm mouth on my pole. I lost count of the many times we had sex that night. I loved my wife, but a nigga had needs. I’d figure out h
ow to make shit up to my wife in the morning, but tonight I was going to enjoy this warm, tight pussy Kendra was offering up.

  Zoe

  Dontae didn’t say much to me after we ran into Kevin at the engagement party. He was obviously pissed at me, and I didn’t even do anything. I was so tired of him taking his anger out on me. He thought that I still wanted Kevin, which I didn’t at first, but now I knew for sure I had made the wrong decision. Kevin was all I seemed to think about nowadays. He treated me so good, and I gave it all up because I thought I was in love with Dontae. It was crazy seeing him with all these different women: first, Sam and now some other girl.

  When we made it home, I stripped down to my birthday suit and quickly got in the shower. I cried a little bit and thought about my life and where it was heading. I was pregnant with Dontae’s baby, and I was not sure that we were going to be together. There was a knock on our bathroom door; then it opened. Dontae pulled the shower curtain back and stepped in with me. He stood behind me—I guessed he was staring at my body—and began to caress my breasts and ass. I wanted so badly not to be turned on, but he knew how to make my body do what my brain didn’t want to do.

  He dropped down to his knees and placed my leg over his shoulder. He placed his mouth on my kitty, then began to bring me so much pleasure. Moans escaped my mouth as my fluids mixed with the shower water and slid down his throat. He entered me from behind; he quickly brought both of us to an orgasm. We washed our bodies and got in bed. It was moments like this that made me so confused when it came to Dontae. I loved him so much, but I really hated how bipolar he got sometimes.

  We drifted off to sleep, with him holding me tightly. A little later I jumped out of my sleep because it felt like someone was watching me. When I sat up, Dontae was standing over me, staring down at me. I got nervous because he had this crazed look in his eyes.

 

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