If I Can't Have You

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If I Can't Have You Page 27

by Dawn Jiles


  “Baby, I came here to tell her to stop calling my phone and texting me. I told her I love you and want to be with you, and that was it. I didn’t touch the girl,” I said.

  “Yeah, that’s for now, but you will see that I am the one for you. She ain’t got nothing on me. You told me I had the best sex ever,” Imani said.

  I wanted to punch her ass in the gut, but before I could, Zoe was up the stairs and on top of Imani. Zoe was trying to kill that girl, and it took everything in me to pull her off.

  “Baby, calm down!” I said to Zoe.

  Imani stood up. Her mouth was full of blood, and she was still talking shit.

  “Don’t tell me to calm down. This ho is too disrespectful,” Zoe snapped.

  “No, your ass is disrespectful, coming to my house, trying to fight me and shit,” Imani spat.

  “Bitch, you better stay the hell away from my man, or else it will be a lot worse,” Zoe said.

  “He’s your man for now,” Imani said and then laughed.

  “We’ll see,” Zoe said, and then she stormed off to her car, climbed in, and pulled off. I had one last thing to say to Imani’s messy ass, because I had seen a side of her that I didn’t like.

  “Let me make something real clear to you. Even if my girl and I break up, I still wouldn’t choose you,” I said, and then I walked off. I heard her slam her front door.

  I drove home, anticipating the drama that would unfold when I got there.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Imani

  I wouldn’t pretend like it didn’t hurt me when he said he would never choose me, but I was still hopeful that I could change his mind. I originally moved here because my grandmother had gotten sick and needed someone to help take care of her, and since my grandmother had practically raised me, I could never not help her out. So I had found a good-paying job in Milwaukee and had moved to there. I had never wanted to end things with Kevin, but I had never been in the business of keeping a nigga who didn’t want to be kept.

  I had thought I would be able to just move on with my life without thoughts of Kevin, but I’d been wrong. I had thought about him almost every day since he called things off with me, and I knew I had to make things right between us. I was a very sexy and intelligent woman, so I knew I would have no problem finding a man. Hell, men tried to get with me all the time, but my heart was with Kevin. I didn’t give a shit if he had a girlfriend; she wouldn’t have him once I was done with their asses, and he would be all mine. I had never been in the business of breaking up happy homes, but Kevin was like no other, so he was worth the fight, and I was willing to go all the way to end up with the man.

  Tim

  My life had been hell over the past few months. Kendra’s loudmouthed ass was always starting drama, and I was about sick of her shit. She always picked the wrong time and place to be ignorant too. I had been so pissed when she said all that shit in front of everybody, and my wife had been, too, because she had stabbed my ass and would have done the same to Kendra if I hadn’t stopped her. I had thought about just letting my wife kill her ass, but I couldn’t live with myself if I knew my wife was in jail behind my mess.

  I had cut Kendra’s ass completely off. I would be lying to myself if I said that I didn’t love Kendra. I would even go as far as to say that I was in love with her. That was why I could sit here and say that I knew that I was not completely done with her right now. I was just teaching her ass a lesson. I had tried to leave her alone, but her ass had me slightly whipped. She did certain things to my body that no other woman had. She was also a lot of fun when we hung out, and she was down for anything. I had allowed myself to feel strongly for another woman besides my wife. For a while I had just ignored the feelings I still had for Kendra, but I had become so reckless and messy that I couldn’t keep up with all this shit.

  Things with Sharon had taken a turn for the worst, and I really felt deep down in my heart that shit was about to hit the fan. For starters, she hadn’t put my ass out when we made it back to the States. Secondly, she was acting like nothing had ever happened. She was acting like she hadn’t stabbed my ass and like I hadn’t had to get some stitches. In all the years we had been together, years in which I had done some fucked-up shit, she had never responded like this. She normally put my ass out and stopped talking to me for a few days or weeks, but this time, she was acting different. She cooked me dinner every night, and she had even started having sex with me again—with a condom, of course. We had been using those ever since we got back together. The shit felt weird as hell, using condoms with my wife. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was going to go along with it.

  Since I was not fucking with Kendra right now, I had been fucking around with Madison more lately. Tonight I was meeting her at the Aloft Hotel for a much-needed stress reliever. Madison knew how to use her mouth and tongue to relax your body and make you forget about all your problems. I got something different from all the women I screwed around with and were a part of the Tim Peterson team. Madison knew how to shut up and cater to my every need—unlike Kendra or Sharon. Neither one of them knew how to shut up. I sometimes felt bad about what I was doing to my wife and family, but I couldn’t stop, and believe me, I had tried. I almost felt like I had a problem.

  “Hey, baby. How was your day?” Madison asked when I entered the room.

  “Good. Did you run my bathwater?” I asked as I headed straight for the bathroom.

  I needed to relax; I had had a long day at work. I got in the bath and freshened up, and when I stepped out of the bathroom, Madison was lying in bed, playing with herself. Yeah, I couldn’t see myself stopping any time soon.

  Kendra

  Tim had not spent any time with me since we left the island. He had barely spent time with his son, either. I knew it had everything to do with that bitch Sharon. She was probably telling him he couldn’t be around his son or me. I knew I was going to have to hurt her ass, because no one would ever come between my kids and their father again. I had done that shit with Sam, but I was definitely not doing it with my son. I would do anything in my power to make sure that didn’t happen, and even if I had to hurt a bitch to ensure that, I would.

  Since Tim wouldn’t return any of my calls, I had decided to stalk his ass to see what he was up to. I was going to get out of my car to confront his ass when he was leaving the office, but I was on my phone when he walked out and got in his car. So, instead, I followed his ass. When I noticed he was going in the direction of his house, I started to turn around and head back, but then he made a turn that was in the opposite direction of his house. I followed him until he parked at the Aloft Hotel and handed his keys to the valet.

  What the hell is he doing at this hotel? He better not be with another bitch, I thought. It would be a damn shame if his ass was cheating on me and his wife with someone else. Tim could never turn down a pretty bitch, and he wondered why my ass was so insecure when we were officially together. I had caught his ass cheating on me on more than one occasion, and I had had to whip his ass and the girl’s ass he had cheated on me with too. I couldn’t believe I loved this man when he had caused me so much pain over the past twenty-plus years, but the heart wanted what it wanted.

  I had damn near fallen asleep while I waited on Tim to come out of that hotel. I figured he must have a business meeting here. I wouldn’t allow myself to think another woman was in the picture. I took one last glance at the front door to the hotel. I had been parked across the street from the front of the hotel for almost two hours, and he hadn’t come out yet. I was just about to pull off when I saw him coming out of the hotel, all hugged up with some woman I had never seen before in my life. I was really sent over the edge when they stopped and tongue kissed as if they didn’t have a care in the world.

  I immediately saw red, and all logic went out the door. I hopped out of my vehicle and darted across the street. Before he knew what was happening, I smacked the dog shit out of him. He was stunned as hell, and the bitch with him looke
d like she was scared.

  “What the hell? Who is she, and why is she putting her hands on you, Tim?” she said, rubbing his face.

  I was about to punch her ass, until Tim interfered.

  “Kendra, what are you doing here? And your ass better keep your hands to yourself,” he snapped.

  “What the hell are you doing, coming out of the hotel with another bitch?” I snapped.

  “I’m not your bitch,” the little ho said.

  “Kendra, don’t come over here questioning me like you are my wife. I don’t owe your ass any explanation. You are my side bitch, not my main one,” he said, and my heart instantly broke. He had never spoken to me like this, and I wouldn’t let his ass get away with doing so now.

  “I don’t give a damn if I’m not your fucking wife. Your ass stays fucking me, and you act like I’m your fucking wife. Don’t try to act brand new in front of this bitch. So who is she?” I said.

  “Like I said, you are not my wife. I don’t owe you anything,” he said.

  “But I’m your wife, so explain to me why you are out here arguing with two other women, when you should be at home with me,” Sharon said from behind me. She had appeared out of nowhere.

  We all stared at her, and I could tell all hell was about to break loose.

  Sharon

  I had had enough of Tim’s bullshit, and it was time to let the cat out of the bag. So, about six months ago, I had decided that my and Tim’s marriage was finally over. I could no longer stand the cheating and emotional abuse I was suffering while being with him. He had completely turned me into a woman I didn’t even recognize. I didn’t used to play that cheating shit. I would leave his ass at the drop of a hat if a man decided to cheat on me, but with Tim, it was totally different. He had cheated on me for our entire marriage, and I had just accepted it like a fool.

  I had always known deep down in my heart that Kendra would eventually come back in the picture, because even after he married me, the bitch had still been desperate to sleep with him, and although he had stopped for a while, their affair had eventually become a full-fledged one. When she made her announcement at my daughter’s wedding, that had sealed the deal for our marriage. This nigga and his side ho had embarrassed me for the very last time. Like I mentioned earlier, she wasn’t the only mistress.

  I had hired a private investigator six months ago so that I would have all the proof I needed to get this divorce over and done with. A small part of me had hoped that he wouldn’t find anything. A small part of me had actually wanted to believe that Tim loved me enough to want to do right by me, but that had been wishful thinking. When I found out that he was cheating with a woman named Madison, who herself was married, and that he was still fucking with Kendra, I’d had my lawyer draw up those divorce papers fast as hell. The private investigator had pictures of Tim kissing and hugging both women and pictures of him wining and dining both women. He also had a picture of Tim and Kendra fucking in his car. I had got all the evidence I needed, and so I had decided it was now time to confront that ass. I was going to personally give him those divorce papers.

  I had downloaded the Find My iPhone app to his phone so that I could keep track of what his nasty ass was doing. Imagine my surprise when I had found out he was at the damn hotel. My initial plan had been to get the room number and the room key and to walk in on him and whatever bitch he was with, because he had reserved the room under his name but with our joint bank account, like the messy-ass man he was. I hadn’t made it to the hotel in time, though. When I’d walked up to the hotel, he and that chick Madison were arguing with Kendra. I had witnessed the entire argument, and they’d been so deep in the shit that they didn’t see me walk up. I’d pulled out my phone and recorded their asses so that I would have even more proof to show the judge.

  They’d all had a shocked look on their face when I finally announced my presence. The scene before me hurt me like never before, but I refuse to let them know that. I put on my game face and continued to do what I’d come here for. Tim looked like he wanted to disappear, and that bitch Madison had a lot of balls, because she was still hanging on to my husband’s arm, but I didn’t care about none of this shit anymore. Tim and I were done, so he was no longer my concern. Kendra was looking like she wanted to take off running. She talked all that shit, but she knew I would beat that ass. Although I was sure Madison knew that Tim was married, because he still wore his ring, Kendra was worse. She’d been at this shit for years, and that was why I hated her ass so much.

  “Why is everyone so quiet now? You know what? I don’t care to address you two bitches, because my so-called husband is the one to blame,” I said.

  “Sharon, I’m sorry. I know this looks really bad, but I think I have a problem. I can go get counseling so that we can fix this, baby,” he said, finally letting go of Madison and taking a few steps toward me.

  “Tim, what about us? You said that once I was officially divorced, we would start a family together,” Madison cried.

  He ignored her and kept coming toward me.

  “Tim, I don’t even need you to explain shit to me. I had your ass followed. You’ve been fucking both of these bitches for at least six months, and it could be longer, for all I know,” I said.

  “You had me followed? You didn’t trust me?” he said when he reached my side.

  I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I knew he couldn’t possibly believe I could ever trust him. Monique had told me a month ago about all the things that had gone on with her and Sam and about how Sam had slept around a lot, and I saw where she got it from.

  “Tim, you can’t be dumb enough to think that I would ever trust your ass after all the bullshit you have taken me through. I came here to give you this and to let you know that we are done. You can have these two desperate-ass bitches. I know for sure that you can have Kendra, because she is not going to ever leave your dirty ass alone, and two dirty bitches deserve one another,” I said. I handed him the divorce papers and then turned to walk away.

  “I’m not going to be one of your bitches anymore,” Kendra yelled to my back.

  I ignored that bitch, because I had given her enough of my energy. I started walking back to my car.

  “Sharon, you can’t divorce me! I won’t have it,” Tim yelled.

  I just kept on walking, because even if he didn’t sign the papers, I knew a judge would grant me my divorce based on the evidence that I had against him. I was done with Tim’s sorry ass, and now it was time to be happy and to let go of all the bullshit he had put me through. I had already moved all my clothes and everything that was dear to me out of the house that Tim and I shared, so I was ready for a fresh start. There was no need for me to ever return there. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Cameron.

  “Hey, baby. I’m on my way home,” I said to him. Out with the old and in with the new, I thought.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Monique

  Things for me couldn’t be any better since I had become Corey’s wife. We had moved into a bigger house, and we were already working on having babies. Despite all that, Sam’s childish ass had been playing on my phone. I knew it was her silly ass because I had no other enemies. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand how we were best friends one minute and then we turned into enemies. I didn’t understand why that girl hated me so much when I hadn’t done anything but love her. I had taken her in with open arms even after she betrayed me the first time. I couldn’t let this bitch ruin my life. I planned to get to the bottom of whatever her issue was with me and handle it accordingly, because I was tired of all the drama, and I just wanted to be happy.

  I had never thought in a million years that my parents would be in the place they were in right now. My mom had been out of the house they shared for about four months now. I knew that she was staying with her new boyfriend right now, and I must admit that I really liked him. He treated my mother so good, and for the first time in years, my mom was truly happy. I could see it in
her eyes. I could also see that she was still sad about getting the divorce, but my father didn’t deserve her. I still loved my father, but to be very frank, he ain’t shit.

  It seemed like everything was going good in my relationship right now, but I was almost scared to accept that fact. Every time things seemed to be going good for me, Sam would come with her bullshit and rip that happiness right out from under me. I was trying to keep a positive outlook, but it was hard sometimes, and it didn’t help that both of my friends were going through relationship problems right now. So I was just waiting for my time to come. I knew it was messed up, but that was how I felt, and as long as Sam’s retarded ass was in the picture, I was afraid it might always be that way.

  I planned to look deeper into Sam and what was really going on with her. I remembered Bria telling me that Sam had a history of mental illness, which Sam and her mother had tried so hard to hide, and I was almost positive that my father knew what was going on as well. Speaking of Kendra’s dirty ass, when I caught her, she had an ass beating coming. One, for what she had done on my wedding day, and two, for how she had hurt my mother. I was sick of letting these two bitches get away with murder, and when I got done with both of them, they were going to wish they had never tried me, because payback was definitely a bitch, and so was karma.

  Bria

  David and I had been officially separated for about five months now. I’d become so tired of dealing with all the drama that came with his so-called baby mama. I just hadn’t been able to deal with it anymore, and he had made clear what he wanted when he refused to get a blood test on that little boy. Not only that, he had allowed his mother to disrespect me in front of Meka’s ratchet ass. I was over all of that, and my life had been so much more peaceful since I left him. I didn’t have to worry about none of that shit anymore; my only concern was my son. I could go to sleep now without worrying about how this bitch planned to ruin my day tomorrow.

 

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