A familiar voice apologizes instantly. My spine stiffens before I turn around and look up into the face of my ex-boyfriend, Victor Wallace. Victor looks down at me with a surprised expression of his own before he quickly looks around, as if he is searching for someone. He looks at me again without saying another word. There is a funny-looking expression on his face that I can’t quite figure out.
“Hey, honey.” A woman comes up to stand beside Victor with a little boy, around one year old, in her arms. “Here, Victor. Take V.J. He is getting heavy. I told you we should have brought his stroller in,” she says.
My eyes go from Victor to this beautiful woman, who seems to be older than he is. It takes her a minute to notice me watching her. Victor reaches for V.J., who willingly goes to him.
“Dada,” says the little boy, who I now see is a replica of Victor, all the way up to his curly hair.
“Did I interrupt something?” The woman asks, looking between Victor and me.
“No, not at all,” Victor replies as he tries to take control of the awkward moment.
My emotions begin to boil over as I try to comprehend the couple before me with the small child that looks so much like my ex-boyfriend. I hope my eyes are playing tricks on me, but I know they are not when the appalling truth is hitting me smack-dab in my face.
“Samantha, this is Noelle Winters, an old friend. Noelle, this is Samantha Lambert…my girlfriend,” he says slowly.
“Your girlfriend,” I say in shock as I feel my cheeks begin to flush. “How long have you and Samantha been dating?” I inquire as I feel sudden anger build up inside my entire body. I can feel my fingernails digging into the palm of my hand as I grip the shopping bags a little too tightly.
“We have been together off and on for a little over a year, right honey?” Samantha looks at Victor for confirmation.
Victor looks like he would willingly sink down into the earth if it would open up and swallow him whole. He looks at me with pleading eyes, as if begging me not to bring up our past. I cannot believe that he has reduced the years we have shared down to me being an “old friend.” I can’t even wrap my brain around why he is acting this way and why he is disregarding the fact that I may, or may not, still be pregnant with his unwanted baby.
“I see,” I finally say before Victor shuts me up by speaking to his girlfriend.
“Sammy, will you take V.J. to get pictures with Santa Claus? I will be over to join you in a few minutes,” he promises.
“It was nice to meet you, Noelle,” Samantha reaches for V.J. again and takes off to go do Victor’s bidding.
I watch a shapely Samantha walk away, without returning her sentiment, with their son in her arms. I finally turn towards Victor with anger as well as hurt brimming from my eyes.
“Before you say anything, I can explain,” Victor says in a hurry.
I look up into the face of my boyfriend since college and wonder why I never figured him for a sleaze-ball before now. Here I am, a twenty-five-year-old woman, and I was deceived by his philandering ways. How could I be so stupid?
“Is she the reason you asked me to get an abortion?” I ask, getting straight to the only point that really matters.
Victor can’t hold my gaze as he looks down at the floor and begins to fidget.
“Answer me, Victor. I deserve at least that much.” I breathe in deeply as I try to fight back the pressure building behind my eyelids. I’ll be damned if I let one tear fall in front of Victor’s cheating ass.
“Noelle, my situation with Samantha is very complicated. She is married but has filed for a divorce. Since I met her, her marriage has had nothing but problems. She works with me at Mead Biotech, and we started out as friends. I felt sorry for her, and I was just a friend, someone she could tell her problems to. We grew closer, and we only slept together that one time in the beginning…I promise you,” he stresses as he tries to appeal to my senses.
“Victor, how you two got together is irrelevant to me at the moment. You still haven’t answered my question. Is Samantha the reason you want me to have an abortion?” I ground out between clenched teeth. Victor’s answer means everything to me. His answer will tell me how I will proceed with our, or should I say my, baby’s future.
Victor lets out a harsh breath as he looks into my eyes. His handsome face and his muscular physique no longer appeal to me. He is no longer the man I thought he was. He is weak, and I don’t have any respect for this man who I thought was my friend and boyfriend.
“Yes, Samantha and Victor Jr. are a big part of it. I love you, Noelle, but I am no longer in love with you like I used to be. When Samantha told me she was pregnant, something shifted inside of me. The feelings I used to have for you shifted to her. I don’t mean to hurt you Noelle, and none of this is your fault. All of the blame lies with me where it belongs.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before? Why did you string me along for almost a year after you found out she was pregnant? You are as wrong as two left shoes for the way you’ve handled this, and on top of that, you introduced me as an ‘old friend.’ How dare you, Victor?” I point a finger at his chest with each word.
He puts my hand in his. ”I am sorry. I don’t know what else I can say. I was, and I am, wrong. You deserve so much better than this fucked up situation.”
“You agreeing with me doesn’t make it any better. You admitting to loving someone else doesn’t make it any better either.”
I so wish Beau was here so I could talk things over with him. I need his strength to settle the emotions that are running like wildfire deep in my soul. The festive feelings and delight of the holiday season have dimmed and leave me feeling dull as well as lifeless.
Victor still holds my hand in his. I tug it away angrily. I look up at him again with disgust in my eyes. He is no longer my friend or my boyfriend but a stranger left in the shell of a human body that I once loved and centered my world around. Wasted years…Good riddance too.
“Go to your girlfriend and child, Victor. I wish you well,” I dig down deep to get those words out.
“What about the baby?” he asks as he looks down at me with uncertainty in his eyes.
I note that he doesn’t say our baby. He says “the baby” like it is a thing and not flesh and blood.
“My baby and I will be just fine. You don’t have to worry about a thing, just go on with your life and forget we ever met or shared a past,” I instruct him.
I can see the relief spread across Victor’s once handsome face. It is strange how something I once saw beauty in can change right before my very eyes. I can no longer stand to be in Victor’s sight.
“If after the baby is born you need me to sign any papers giving up my legal right, I am down with that,” he says. ”Just let me know. I still have the same cell number.”
Victor just goes down another notch in the respect department. Then again, he has made it easier for me to never have him in my life again.
“That’s great,” I finally mutter in a sad voice. “Goodbye,” I say, turning quickly away to save face.
I don’t want him to see the lone tear that falls from my left eye. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, the tear forces its way out anyway. I have lost all appetite for the Chinese food I craved earlier. All I want to do is to get out of this busy mall in one piece before this dam of tears bursts.
“Noelle,” Victor calls out as I walk away.
I don’t dare turn around. I keep walking with a straight spine and my head held high. That is until I made it inside my car. Now I am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks like a waterfall. I cry not for me but for my innocent, un-born child. I cry because his or her sperm donor doesn’t want any part of his her life, just like my parents don’t want any part of mine.
“You will never be a burden on me, little one,” I speak aloud to my baby as my hands rest protectively across my stomach. “I am going to be the best mother that I know how to be, and I will love you more than anyone ever can,” I a
dd before wiping my tears away.
I reach inside of my handbag for a tissue and clean my nose as well. I breathe in deeply and draw on unknown strength with each breath that I take as I get my emotions under control. Turning the key in the ignition and merging into the late afternoon traffic, I drive towards the safe haven of my home.
Chapter 13
Noelle
If Only in My Dreams
Victor enters my dreams like an unwanted, explosive rush. My dream is filled with a kaleidoscope of colors. I can see Victor and his new woman with their new child. They seem to be a happy family without a care in the world.
They are building a snowman as snow falls around them. They are unaware that I watch them from afar. I watch how Victor dotes on his little look-alike, V.J. He treats him like a proud father should. My baby takes this moment to kick inside my womb to make his or her presence felt.
My hands instantly cup my swollen belly, which is stretched to its limit, beneath my maternity shirt. I feel sorely alone as I watch Victor, happy with his new family. I feel alone and desolate where I stand with the snow falling all around me. I shudder from the cold as their jolly laughter reaches my ears like the melodious music of the Christmas season.
This winter day is as familiar to me as the day when my dad walked away from my mother and me to begin a new family with a more glamorous and youthful version of my mom. This frigid winter’s day reminds me when my mother allowed my stepfather to enter our lives, and I became a virtual stranger in my own home.
Now here I am on the outside looking in, like my many unwanted memories of yesterday. “My love will be enough,” I whisper into the coldness of the day. I watch as whispers of vapor stream from my lips only to evaporate like mist. “I will never allow you to doubt my love for you,” I mutter inwardly as I send loving, telepathic thoughts to the safe haven of my womb.
Suddenly, I feel strong arms encircle my thick waistline from behind. The coldness that once cloaked me and penetrated to my bones fades immediately as it is replaced by warm, fuzzy feelings, similar to hot chocolate seasoned with peppermint with a dollop of whipped cream sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. The coldness evaporates. I am left all toasty in its stead.
“You are far from alone,” the gruff, baritone voice whispers in my ear. “You and your little one have me,” the sexy, warm voice reiterates.
I look over my shoulder and up into Beau’s alluring, smoky gaze of assurance. His eyes are filled with the promise of truth and love. A smile blossoms on my full, thick lips with hesitancy, like rose petals blooming with radiance under the rays of the sun.
Beau is like the beauty of the sun in my moments of desolation. With his embrace, he fills up my void with love, kindness, and strength. He is like my shelter, shielding me and my baby from uncertain lonesomeness and an uncertain future of sadness.
Beau’s head bends slowly but with expectancy. Our lips meet and all else is forgotten. The laughter from Victor and his family fades away into nothingness. I am left in an intimate embrace as he weaves his dominance into my presence that excludes everyone and everything. His lips lay claim, and he seals his promises with a deeper kiss as our tongues entwine and swirl sweetly with one another. A humming sound begins in my ears…
Wait. The humming sound that penetrates my dream is actually the doorbell pulling me from the beauty of my dream and Beau’s kiss that feels so real. I force myself awake from my drug-like state. My eyes peer at the glowing light coming from my alarm clock by my bedside. I note the time is a little past one in the morning.
I arise slowly from the bed; I stretch with my arms high over my head and stifle a yawn before flipping on the light switch. I walk to my front door with sleep still holding me within its grasp. I yank the door open, without thought of checking to see who is on the other side.
Chapter 14
Beau
Mistletoe
It’s been two whole weeks since I have seen Noelle face to face. Talking to her on the telephone almost every day is not the same thing as holding her supple body in my arms or kissing her sweet, thick lips…kissing both sets of her sweet lips. I can’t stop thinking of Noelle as I head out to her apartment straight from the airport.
It’s early, a little after one in the morning, but I must see her. I must take in the beauty of the woman I love. I missed her so. When I reach her apartment, I ring her doorbell with the impatience of a lover who is ready to be inside the warmth of his woman once again.
I am surprised when she opens the door without finding out who is standing on the other side. I could be a serial killer or a rapist for all Noelle knows. I take in her natural beauty as she sleepily rubs her eyes before she looks up at me.
Her expression changes to one of instant surprise as she jumps into my arms and wraps her arms around my neck. I am happy to see her, and I am ecstatic that she is just as happy to see me, but I must reprimand her for opening the door as she did.
I carry her inside. She is still clinging to me as I kick the front door shut with my booted foot. I make a beeline for her sofa before sitting down with her still in my arms. Noelle is now in a straddling position across my lap. I note how her frilly, short, cotton gown has risen up above her thighs. I instantly harden beneath my jeans.
“When did you arrive back into town? I had no idea it was you ringing my doorbell at this time of the morning,” she admits. Noelle finally releases the tight grip around my neck to peer into my eyes.
I drink in Noelle’s angelic face and the brandy sweetness from her brown eyes. Her lips look soft and kissable, but I must speak with her about her carelessness before I allow myself to sample the sweetness from her honeydew lips.
“Why didn’t you check to see it was me? Didn’t you peer through the peephole to see who I was before opening your door?”
Noelle looks at me sheepishly before she softly replies.
“No, but…”
“Don’t ever do that again,” I say to her with a gentle chiding in my voice.
“Don’t ever do what?” she asks me with a smile on her lips. She is playing dumb towards my reprimanding.
I must stay on track and focus, lest the sweetness from her lips pulls me into its rapture. I clear my throat to bring myself under control.
“Don’t ever open your door before checking to see who it is on the other side first.”
“I know what you meant, silly,” she finally says as she squirms in my lap.
“I am serious, Noelle. It is dangerous out here, and you need to be more careful.”
“I promise to be more careful in the future,” she sighs. “But you are the one to blame for my forgetfulness. You woke me from a dream of you kissing me,” she says with a heated look in her eyes.
“Did you, now? Show me how I was kissing you in this dream of yours.”
Noelle wastes no time and presses her soft lips to my own. My mouth instantly opens to receive the sweetness of her mouth. My tongue captures hers and sucks it in. Her mouth is just as sweet as I remembered. The moist heat from her mouth radiates straight to my dick as it lengthens beneath my jeans.
The heat that I feel between Noelle’s thighs radiates through me with a raging need for me to reacquaint myself with her body.
Noelle’s hands stroke across the broadness of my shoulders and the soft leather of my bomber jacket.
“Take this off,” she says against my lips.
I allow her to help divest me of my leather jacket before I stand with her in my arms. She directs me to her bedroom. I take note of her bed and deliberately stride towards it. I place Noelle upon her unmade bed. Our glances never waver from each other as she watches me relieve myself of my clothing and boots.
“I missed you more than you will ever know, sweetheart,” I say to her as I join her on the bed.
“I missed you too. The phone calls in between only made me miss you more.”
“How is the little one doing?” I ask her as I lift her frilly, cotton gown over her head to reveal the scr
umptiousness of her body.
“The baby is fine. The doctor says we are both doing great.”
“Has the doctor given you any restrictions?” I ask her because I am concerned about her well-being and the health of her baby.
“None whatsoever. The doctor stipulates that I get plenty of exercise and eat healthy, nutritious meals.”
I place a soft kiss upon her belly. Her reaction is instantaneous as she brushes her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes for a moment to relish the massage her fingers are giving me. I become infused with the scent of her sweetness as it drifts towards my nostrils. My lips continue to plant soft kisses across her stomach and on her supple thighs.
“Did you really miss me, Beau? Even in the light of all your groupies and fans?” she asks with uncertainty tinged in her voice.
I peer up at her, and my heart swells even more with love for this woman. Doesn’t she know that I have eyes for no one besides her? All other women fizzle out like a flat soda when it comes to her.
“Other women mean nothing to me. I wouldn’t have been able to say that before meeting you. I had no reason to mean it until now,” I try to express this to her as best I can, for I need her to believe my heartfelt words. “Do you believe me when I say these words to you? I am not Victor,” I add.
“I know you are not Victor,” A sadness enters her eyes when she speaks of him.
My heart plummets for a moment before it rights itself once again. Did she still love Victor? Is that what her look is about? I promise myself I will get to the bottom of whatever is bothering her, but for now, I have a taste for something that only Noelle can satisfy. I vow that I will purge Victor from her mind and any memory of him from her body.
“No more talking,” I growl as I feel a feral need to establish myself deep in her soul.
Noelle bows her head in understanding as the corners of her lips lift in a sexy smile.
My mouth begins to water when I nudge her thighs apart, and I urge her to lie back on the bed amongst the soft pillows. I reach for one of the pillows to place it beneath her well-rounded ass so I can feast on her honeydew, slick heat.
Noelle's Rock: A BWWM Holiday Romance Page 9