by Sam Copeland
Charlie’s dad ignored the wisecrack. ‘Can you believe it, boys? A polar bear in our back garden!’
‘That’s quite unbelievable,’ said SmoothMove flatly, staring pointedly at Charlie. ‘Now where could a polar bear have appeared from?’
Charlie shot a warning glance at SmoothMove. Charlie had told his brother about his changing when SmoothMove was in hospital and clearly he hadn’t forgotten.fn2
‘It’s crazy!’ said Charlie, trying to sound as disbelieving as he could. ‘It must be some kind of trick.’
‘And you didn’t see anything?’ said his mum, looking at them both with an unreadable expression on her face. ‘It would have been just about the time you were coming home from school.’
SmoothMove shook his head.
‘Nope,’ said Charlie. ‘Not a thing …’
***
The next day in school, Charlie didn’t have to wait to tell his friends what had happened. The minute he walked into the class they all surrounded him. Well, almost all of them – Wogan was in a corner talking to Daisy again.
‘That bear had to be you, Charlie!’ said Mohsen. ‘No question.’
‘Good grief, Charlie!’ said Flora. ‘What happened?’
Charlie explained how seeing the for-sale sign outside his house had made him so stressed that he had changed into a polar bear, although he left out the part about wanting to eat the children. He was too ashamed and worried to share that.
‘Try not to worry too much about the house,’ Flora said, concern in her eyes. ‘We’ll think of something to help you. OK?’
Charlie gave Flora a small thankful smile. He didn’t believe for a second that she’d be able to help, but it was nice to know he had friends who wanted to at least try. The smile disappeared just as soon as it appeared, though.
‘Now everybody in the school will know I’m having to move because we’re poor,’ Charlie said, looking at his feet.
‘Charlie, the nice people in school won’t care! And the few idiots like Dylan – well, they’re idiots so who cares what they think? Forget them.’
‘But what if I have to move schools? You’ll all forget me!’
Flora gasped. ‘We will not!’
‘No way!’ Mohsen blurted, aghast. ‘No way would we!’
‘Charlie, don’t ever think that,’ said Flora firmly. ‘We are best friends and we would never forget you!’
‘I’m sorry, guys,’ said Charlie, feeling a little shamefaced. ‘I know. It’s just sometimes I feel all this bad stuff just happens to me and nobody else. My brother being ill. All the changing. Then this house thing.’
‘I know, Charlie. It’s rubbish luck. It’s totally not fair. But you’re the strongest boy I know and I think you’re amazing.’
Flora gave Charlie a little hug, and Charlie tried to wipe his eyes without anybody seeing.
A moment later, Wogan wandered over looking a bit pale. ‘Hey, what’s up, Charlie? See you turned into a polar bear yesterday.’
‘That’s right. I was just saying –’
‘So, that’s great but I need a favour,’ Wogan interrupted. ‘An urgent one.’
‘Course,’ replied Charlie. ‘What is it?’
‘I need you to turn into a unicorn.’
‘Pardon?’
‘I said I need you to turn into a unicorn.’
‘You need me to do what? Why?’
‘I need you to turn into a unicorn so I can take a selfie with you. You as a unicorn. It’s for a … thing. Just something. It’s not important why.’
Flora, Mohsen and Charlie all looked at Wogan in various states of disbelief.
‘Wogan,’ said Charlie slowly, ‘I’m not sure unicorns are real. So I really don’t think I’ll be turning into one. Anyway, why do you need to take a selfie with a unicorn?’
‘Gah!’ shouted Wogan in frustration. ‘So I might have told somebody I could get one.’
‘Well, why on earth did you do that?’ asked Flora.
‘NEVER MIND WHY!’ shouted Wogan. ‘Stop asking me so many questions!’
He thought for a moment, and then added, ‘OK, how about a pony? Can you turn into a pony? A selfie with a pony might do the trick.’
‘Look, Wogan,’ Charlie said, ‘you KNOW it doesn’t work like that. I don’t get to decide what animals I change into. I don’t even get to decide when I change into an animal.’
‘Maybe you could learn?’ suggested Wogan hopefully.
Flora gasped suddenly. ‘OH MY GOSH!’
‘What?’ Charlie said, startled by Flora’s sudden outburst.
‘Of course!’ said Flora. ‘Why didn’t I think of it before? Wogan, you’re a genius!’
Flora reached over, grabbed Wogan and planted a big kiss on his forehead.
‘I am?’ said Wogan, looking baffled. ‘I mean, yes, I am. But why?’
‘Because you have just given me an idea!’
‘What is it?’ Mohsen said, eyes wide. ‘Tell us!’
‘Not yet,’ said Flora. ‘It’s just an idea. When I’ve turned it into a plan, I’ll tell you.’
‘You see,’ Wogan said to Mohsen. ‘Now there’s someone who knows the difference between an idea and a plan.’
Mohsen nodded. ‘She’s a professional.’
‘Anyway,’ said Wogan, anxiously looking towards Daisy, ‘more importantly did anybody see if Daisy noticed Flora kiss me?’
It didn’t take long before Flora’s idea turned into a plan. She told each of the friends to meet in the playground by the climbing-frame after they had eaten lunch. The four friends wolfed their lunch down as quickly as possible, and rushed outside to the playground.
They stood in a huddle, shivering in the cold. It felt like there was snow on the way. A group of hungry-looking pigeons, pecking at the ground, bobbed nearby. Charlie looked at them suspiciously. Were a couple of them familiar? No, Charlie thought. They were just pigeons.fn1
‘OK,’ said Charlie. ‘What’s the plan?’
‘Well,’ said Flora, ‘it was Wogan who first gave me the idea.’
‘So basically I’m the brains here,’ said Wogan.
‘And it comes from Mohsen’s idea as well,’ said Flora.
‘So basically I am also the brains here,’ said Mohsen.
‘We are all a part of this plan, guys,’ said Flora.
‘Apart from Charlie. He’s had no ideas,’ said Mohsen.
‘That’s right,’ said Wogan. ‘Charlie’s definitely not the brains here.’
‘Guys? Can we listen to what Flora has to say? Please?’
‘Thank you, Charlie. So – Mohsen was right. We need to break in to Van der Gruyne Industries and steal back the gold that Dylan’s dad stole from Charlie’s dad. Then you won’t have to sell your home and everything will be back to normal.’
The three boys murmured in agreement.
‘The question is how? How do four children break in to a high-security office with guard dogs and high walls and guards?’
‘And the laser-guided nuclear missiles,’ said Wogan.
‘No,’ said Mohsen. ‘We decided the laser-guided nuclear missiles probably didn’t exist, remember?’
‘We did?’ said Wogan. ‘Phew! That’s awesome news! Strike one to us!’ He high-fived Mohsen.
‘Anyway …’ said Flora slowly, ‘so how do we break in? It’s too difficult for kids. But what happens if we had a special weapon? Maybe a lion that could scare away the dogs? Or a mosquito that could evade security cameras? Or a monkey that could climb over a wall and then open a door? Or a crocodile to bite the security guards?’
‘But,’ said Wogan, looking a little deflated, ‘where are we going to get all those anim– HANG ON A MINUTE! You mean Charlie, don’t you?!’
Flora nodded with a sage smile.
‘So you think Charlie could change into animals and help the mission?’ said Mohsen, his voice laced with excitement.
‘Exactly!’ said Flora.
‘OK,’ said Charlie.
‘I don’t want to spoil the party here, guys,’ Charlie continued, ‘but there’s a couple of big problems with your plan. Firstly, as we all know, I can’t choose which animals I turn into.’
‘I realize that,’ said Flora. ‘We are going to have to improvise.fn2 Whatever animal you turn into, we can use its powers. If you’re a snake, you can slink through the fence and bite the guards. If you’re a worm, you can crawl underground and then right into the building. All animals have their uses.’
‘Hmm. OK. But you’re forgetting the main problem,’ said Charlie.
‘Which is?’ said Mohsen.
‘It’s that Charlie can’t choose when to change,’ replied Flora.
‘Exactly. I can’t just click my fingers and change whenever I want,’ said Charlie.
‘That,’ said Flora, holding a finger up, ‘is exactly how Wogan gave me a brainwave.’
Wogan beamed proudly.
‘He asked if you could learn how to control when you change,’ Flora said, crossing her arms. ‘And I think you can. I think we can train you to change when you want.’
‘Now THAT is a plan,’ said Mohsen, wide-eyed with admiration. ‘Do that and you really will be a proper superhero.’
‘Awesome,’ said Wogan, shaking his head in wonderment. ‘So, so awesome.’
‘And how exactly do you think you’re going to train me?’ asked Charlie doubtfully.
‘I’ll show you, but we’ll need privacy and quiet. So we all need to arrange a play date at one of our houses on Saturday afternoon. Agreed?’
‘Agreed,’ said Mohsen immediately.
‘Afraid there might be a teensy bit of a problem with that actually,’ said Wogan. ‘There’s a My Little Pony movie out this weekend that I thought I’d try to see with Daisy. Apparently Twilight Sparkle pony nearly loses all her powers and –’
‘WOGAN!’ said Flora.
‘Yes?’
‘The My Little Pony movie can wait. Charlie needs our help.’
‘Gah, OK! I guess it can wait until it comes out on DVD. Then Daisy can come to mine for a play date and we can watch it together. We can get popcorn and marshmallows. Daisy loves marshmallows.’
‘Great,’ said Flora, looking slightly exasperated. ‘Charlie? You up for it?’
Charlie thought for a moment, looking hard at the ground. Saving his family versus the risk of changing into an animal forever? What a decision.
Pigeons circled round them, getting closer. One of them had a foot like a piece of popcorn.
‘OK,’ he said, swallowing his fear. ‘OK. It’s worth a go. Let’s do it.’
‘Yes!’ said Mohsen. ‘Awesome! So much awesome. There really is no end to the awesomeness in our lives!’
‘Excellent,’ said Flora. ‘Then it’s all agreed. We meet on Saturday …’
***
It was a long wait for the weekend to arrive. Time seemed to drag endlessly. Charlie thought time had passed slowly when he was forced to watch Mohsen and Wogan play a best-of-seventeen chess match (especially as Mohsen had to teach Wogan how to play as they went along), but the days before the weekend crawled even worse than that. The wait was made all the more miserable because every time Dylan saw Charlie, he had a new cutting comment to throw at him, each one designed to tighten Charlie’s stress.
‘Anyone bought your house yet, McGuffin?’
Or
‘Maybe you could turn into a snail, then you’d never lose your home again.’
Or
‘Hey! Charlie! You’re … you’re a great big idiot-head.’fn3
Or
‘Hey, Charlie! You’re so poor you’re going to be homeless! Just in time for Christmas too! Maybe we should get a collection going for you?’
That one hurt. Charlie knew he shouldn’t care about being poor, but his ears glowed red with embarrassment – he couldn’t help it. It made it worse that Dylan was rich. His house even had a swimming pool. That made it even more unforgivable that Dylan’s dad had stolen Charlie’s dad’s gold – he didn’t even need it.
The weekend came eventually, though. They’d arranged the play date for three o’clock at Charlie’s house. By half three, Flora (wearing a hairband with wolf ears) and Mohsen (not wearing a hairband with wolf ears) had arrived, but there was no sign of Wogan (who knows whether he will be wearing a hairband with wolf ears).
Flora jumped up in frustration. ‘Argh! Where is he? If he’s gone to that flipping pony movie with Daisy, I will hang him up by his –’
The doorbell rang just before Flora was able to finish saying exactly what she would hang Wogan up by. A moment later, Wogan walked into the bedroom looking very sorry for himself.
‘Sorry I’m late, guys,’ said Wogan.
‘What’s with the gloomy face?’ asked Mohsen.
‘Ah, don’t ask,’ said Wogan.
‘Oh, what’s up? Is it to do with Daisy?’ asked Flora, the previous anger on her face replaced with concern.
‘No! Seriously. Don’t ask,’ said Wogan, shaking his head slowly.
‘Go on, Woge. You can tell us,’ said Charlie. ‘What’s the problem?’
‘OK. Well, I was running late,’ said Wogan. ‘So I had to rush here. I really needed a poo before I left home but I didn’t have time. I was desperate, though, in the car. So on the way we stopped at a restaurant for me to go, but by the time I got to the toilet the poo had gone back up my bum. I tried to poo but I couldn’t do it. I missed my poo chance. And I don’t know when it will happen again.’
A stunned silence hit the friends.
Mohsen put a reassuring hand on Wogan’s shoulder. ‘I am so sorry that has happened to you,’ Mohsen said. ‘To lose a poo is a terrible thing. We are here for you, my friend.’
Flora and Charlie couldn’t put their thoughts into words.
‘Thanks, guys. It means a lot to hear that from you,’ Wogan said. ‘Anyway, how’s it all going here? Have I missed anything?’
‘No …’ said Flora. ‘You haven’t missed anything. Because we’ve been waiting for you. But you were late.’
‘Because of my poo.’
‘Because of your poo. Yes. Anyway. Shall we begin?’ asked Flora.
‘Yes. Please. Anything to stop us talking about Wogan’s poo,’ said Charlie.
‘OK, so,’ said Flora, ‘let’s go back to basics. Charlie, what makes you turn into animals?’
‘Stress,’ said Charlie.
‘And what helps you turn back?’
‘Deep breathing, relaxing, thinking happy thoughts, that sort of stuff.’
‘OK,’ said Flora. ‘What happens if you TRY to make yourself stressed by thinking about bad stuff and forgetting all the good stuff?’
‘What? Are you mad? That sounds awful,’ said Charlie.
‘No! It’s genius!’ said Mohsen. ‘I bet if you made yourself think bad thoughts, you would definitely change!’
‘But I don’t want to think bad thoughts! Any bad thoughts I have I like to imagine putting in a little black box and burying them deep, deep down inside myself. And then forgetting about them.’
‘Charlie, if you have bad thoughts, you really shouldn’t bury them away,’ Flora said. ‘It’s not good for you. Sometimes facing up to bad thoughts is very hard, and you need to be brave. But it’s like facing a dragon. If you run away from a dragon and pretend it’s gone, it doesn’t just disappear – it’s still there, burning villages and eating people. But if you face up to it, then you have a fighting chance of beating it. And it’s the same with bad thoughts. So hopefully all this will help you face up to your dragon, Charlie.’
‘So you’re saying that –’
‘Guys, really sorry but the poo’s back,’ said Wogan. ‘Don�
��t mean to interrupt but I don’t want to miss another –’
Flora glared at Wogan. ‘JUST. GO!’
‘OK, sorry.’ Wogan started tiptoeing out. ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry. I’ll be as quick –’
‘GO!’
Wogan ran out of the room.
Fifteen minutes later, he trotted back in, to a room full of impatient stares.
‘Sorry! Took a bit longer than I hoped. Lot of wiping and –’
‘JUST SIT!’ shouted Flora. ‘And please. Shush. I mean, honestly!’
Wogan sat down, giving everyone a nervous smile.
‘Now. OK. Hopefully without any more interruptions, shall we begin?’ asked Flora. ‘Are you ready, Charlie?’
Charlie felt sick – he realized that he was far from ready.
He was putting his friends in danger.
Terrible danger.
He’d nearly eaten those children when he was a polar bear. He couldn’t take the risk.
He couldn’t go through with it.
‘I’m sorry, guys. I can’t do this.’
Mohsen gasped. ‘What? Why not?’
‘There’s something I’m not telling you. And it’s putting you in big danger.’
‘What danger? What are you talking about?’ asked Flora, bewildered.
Charlie swallowed nervously. ‘OK, so when I change I … I keep forgetting who I am. I’m becoming more and more like the animals I change into. That’s why I tried eating a leaf and licked my bum when I was a cat. And –’ Charlie hung his head in shame – ‘I didn’t tell you. But when I was a polar bear I nearly ate some children. They looked delicious.’
The friends sat in silence, taking in this new bombshell.
‘So,’ said Flora, ‘you felt like you were forgetting what it was like to be human?’
‘Yes! Exactly! And what happens if I turn into a tiger now and forget who I am and try to eat you?’
‘That’s a good point,’ said Mohsen. ‘I don’t want to be eaten by a tiger.’
‘Or a lion,’ said Wogan.
‘Or a jaguar,’ said Mohsen.
‘Or a cheetah,’ said Wogan.
‘We get the message!’ said Flora. ‘You don’t want to be eaten by –’