“You’re the one who always refers to these parties as the lesbian love fest and the idea of being physically close is repulsive to you.”
“It seems you know everything. Have you been spying in the Republic again?” Mallory replied. She got up and repacked Gigi’s bag. She folded and rolled so that everything fit neatly together.
“Thank you,” Gigi replied.
“You’re welcome.”
“Tell me more about the Republic,” Gigi said, pulling Mallory down on the bed.
“You won’t believe this, but Dr. Kohlrabi is convinced that I created the Republic as a way to avoid dealing with my mother. She is certain that I got the idea from the Magic Kingdom on Mr. Rogers and I took it from there. Have you ever heard anything so absurd? I was supposed to outgrow it.”
“Absolute nonsense. I was rather hoping you’d write it all down and sell it as a book. Your creepy little world makes Harry Potter look like a day at Disneyland.”
“Gigi!”
“Well, it’s true. Now tell me more.”
Gigi had been fascinated with Mallory’s imaginary world ever since Mallory revealed it to her when they were twelve. Gigi had some inkling that Mallory only revealed the part of the Republic that she wanted Gigi to see. She knew there were other deeper, darker parts of the Republic.
That was how Alex found them on the bed, holding hands, the duffel bag between them and Mallory weaving giant yarns that never ceased to delight and amaze Gigi. Alex’s heart pounded in her head when she got home and heard voices from the bedroom. She was home earlier than usual, a practice she tried to avoid. Having a schedule was a good thing. People could count on that. It was not that she doubted Gigi’s fidelity but Gigi did have the uncanny ability to elicit powerful emotions in other people. It was the other people that worried her.
Alex had found her wrapped in another woman’s arms on more than one occasion as they were both experiencing some intense bonding as Gigi referred to it. Intense bonding occurred frequently with Ollie. This concerned Alex but she pushed it to the back of her mind and tried to feel the cleansing water of truth, love and fidelity wash across her nervous heart.
“I thought you were leaving.” Alex said, ready to be contradicted.
“You are,” Gigi said, getting up and pointing at Mallory.
“I am?” Mallory said, feeling like she was standing on the window ledge of a skyscraper with the wind and rush of traffic below blowing up at her. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the sweep of vertigo passing through her.
“Yes, you are,” Gigi said, pushing her to the door. She kissed Alex.
“I’ll see you Sunday night.”
“Give my best to Aunt Lil,” Alex said, smiling to avoid the dose of facetiousness she knew was coming. She didn’t get it and Gigi was always mysterious about what went on in the land of Airstream trailers.
Aunt Lil was the black sheep of the family just like Gigi. It was her mother’s second greatest disgrace that her own sister was a lesbian as well as her daughter. Mrs. Dupont was convinced the water in Yarnell was tainted and had created these homosexuals in her family and when that didn’t work she blamed bad genes. She used genetics as a last resort, however, because that meant her sister and her daughter were victims of God and not degenerates that had willingly chosen sin and strap on devices of mysterious origins.
Alex liked to think that Gigi’s pilgrimages to Yarnell were simply a way for her to feel better about her family. With Aunt Lil she could be herself and she had several adopted aunts that acted as family. Alex knew Gigi thrived on the attention and she couldn’t really blame her for liking this part of her family when the rest were so blatantly horrid to her. Alex was never allowed in the house and Gigi only went home when summoned.
She and Mallory watched as Gigi pulled out the driveway and waved.
“Are you ready to go?” Alex asked.
“Yes,” Mallory said bravely.
“Let’s go have a drink first. I’ve got everything in the cooler so it can sit for a while.”
“You seem very good at these potluck things. I didn’t bring anything . . .” Mallory said, starting to panic.
“You’re my date remember. Each couple brings something. I’ve got you covered.”
“What are we bringing?”
“Some finger food stuff I picked up at the deli,” Alex said.
“I thought lesbian potlucks meant everyone cooked some specialty dish that everyone fawned over,” Mallory said, helping Alex load the cooler in the back of her car.
“This is the twenty-first century darling, all anyone really cares about is whether you bring beer.”
“That’s what is really in the cooler,” Mallory said, feeling less intimidated now that she knew she was not required to produce a delightful dish at each soiree.
“See this is a lot easier than you thought.”
“Where are we going for a drink?” Mallory asked.
“Let’s go to Winks. It’s on the way. We can talk.”
Mallory looked out the car window.
“Not about anything serious. You’re Gigi’s best friend and I never get to talk to you without Gigi answering everything for you. I’d like to hear you say something . . . anything,” Alex said, touching Mallory’s arm gently.
“We can’t talk about the Republic, not yet at least,” Mallory said, looking uncertain.
“No, we don’t have to talk about it.”
“Maybe we can one day when we know each other better,” Mallory said, sensing she was already getting on Alex’s nerves.
“That’s all I want Mallory, just a chance for us to be friends, okay? No big deal,” Alex said, pulling into the parking lot of Winks.
“No big deal. Can I buy the drinks?”
“If you’d like.”
“I like to because friends do that, right?”
“Right,” Alex replied, stopping herself from asking Mallory if Gigi was the only friend she’d ever had. Alex couldn’t help wondering what sort of emotional wasteland Mallory inhabited. Maybe she did want to talk about the Republic. Perhaps it would give her a clue about Mallory and Gigi’s relationship.
Mallory had two martinis while Alex sipped a beer. With severe coaching she got Mallory off the barstool and into the car.
“I can do this, right?” Mallory asked tentatively.
“It’s going to be easy because everyone is on their third or fourth cocktail which is why we went to the bar. Now we are all even, everyone is at their social best and most of the awkward moments have now passed,” Alex said, expertly avoiding traffic.
“You’re a good driver,” Mallory said, picking up CDs from the console.
Alex looked over, pleasantly surprised.
“Gigi never told you that. She’s short on compliments,” Mallory replied.
“Find one you want?” Alex asked.
“This one,” Mallory said. “Now you’ll know another thing about me.”
“Yes, music tells.”
“Sometimes more than the Oracles at Delphi,” Mallory replied.
Mallory made Alex do some deep breathing exercises before they went in.
“Does this really work?” Alex inquired after they had done three sets of twelve.
“Don’t you feel better?” Mallory said, looking the picture of relaxation. She almost glowed with inner light.
“No, I feel like I’m hyperventilating,” Alex said.
“You’re not doing it right then. Come on let’s get this over with while I’m feeling centered.”
“Do you do this a lot?”
“All the time. At first I was skeptical but with enough practice I’ve become a believer.”
Alex was the perfect partner. She introduced Mallory to everyone she knew at the party. Ollie and Mallory eyed each other like they both knew a lot about the other via Gigi.
Ollie’s partner Kim was gracious but already taxed at putting on this social extravaganza. Ollie, of course, was no help.
She
is a lot like Gigi, Mallory thought, inconsiderate without being malicious. They don’t mean to be laissez-faire but they are and so their partners endlessly pick up the slack. It was one of Gigi’s traits Mallory would shortly reform. She endeared herself to Kim by helping her organize the food table and get people set up with plates and cutlery. Alex was mildly surprised at Mallory’s forthrightness but then she had never seen Mallory at work where her coordinating skills made her vending company run smoothly and profitably.
Del Farnsworth, a friend of Kim’s from work, watched Mallory intently. She liked what she saw. Anyone who wore flannel pajamas with grill items as the pattern was all right in her book. She just wished she could get a better look. Mallory was in disguise with a ball cap and Ray-Bans. Del figured it was intentional. She knew a shy woman when she saw one. She watched as Mallory stood holding her plate and talking to Ollie and Alex. Del had met Ollie before at a party with Gigi. Alex was still at work and the way Ollie and Gigi carried on Del swore something was going on but she knew Kim and Ollie had been together for a while and then Alex showed up. Del found herself quite confused. Neither Kim nor Alex seemed to find anything wrong with having their girlfriends hanging all over each other. Del knew this because she had interrupted one of their embraces on her way to the restroom.
Ollie went to get another beer. Del saw her chance.
“Introduce me to your friend,” Del said.
“To Mallory?” Ollie asked, obviously surprised.
“She’s single, right?” Del asked, wondering if she’d miscalculated.
“She’s single but, you know, she’s a little different,” Ollie cautioned.
“That’s what I like,” Del assured her.
“I think you’ll find she’s a lot more than you bargained for,” Ollie replied.
“I’m a big girl. I’ll sign a waiver if you’d like so you won’t be responsible.”
Ollie smiled. “All right. Come on. You’re about to get on the ride of your life.”
Mallory felt her pulse quicken as Del approached. Del put on her best cruising look, the mildly interested gaze, the quick lick of the lips, the soft squeeze of the hand. Mallory let Alex do the talking while she stood quietly playing with her potato salad. Del’s eyes never left her face. Mallory started to sweat and she felt the onset of an anxiety attack. She tried deep breathing. Now was not the time for such an episode.
The afternoon had grown warm and she was wearing flannel, she told herself. Just take more deep breaths. But the shrinking feeling was starting. She felt herself getting smaller like the ground was slowly sucking her down, first her ankles, then knees and soon she was waist deep in grass and no one seemed to notice that she was being sucked out of the conversation. And then with a final pop she was through. She found herself standing by a river. A woman went running past and Mallory called out after her. The woman kept running. Mallory chased her. They ran round and round until they both stood on the other side of the river without ever having crossed it. Mallory looked over at the other woman. She smiled. The woman was herself.
Mallory opened her eyes. She was flat on her back with her plate of potato salad sitting firmly on her chest. Del was peering down at her.
“We should get you inside,” Del said, helping her up.
“What happened?” Mallory asked, feeling groggy and borderline nauseous.
“You fainted,” Alex said, taking one of her arms as Del took the other. They put her on the couch in the living room.
“Let me get my bag,” Del said.
“I’ll get her a drink of water,” Alex said.
“Del is a doctor,” Ollie explained to Mallory.
Mallory took a deep breath and looked over at Dr. Kohlrabi after she’d recounted what she was referring to as the Barbecue Incident.
“And what happened after that?” Dr. Kohlrabi asked.
“Aside from me being perfectly mortified and ruining a brand new set of flannel pajamas with spicy brown mustard?” Mallory said, turning herself right side up, consternation written across her face in bold letters.
“Yes,” Dr. Kohlrabi replied. “Tell me about the woman.”
“What woman?” Mallory asked, adjusting her sandal.
“The one you don’t want to talk about, the one that gave you the anxiety attack because she likes you.”
“I don’t think she’s an issue,” Mallory said.
“Mallory . . .”
“All right. Her name is Del. She’s a doctor and she just transferred out here from Chicago. She is a friend of Kim’s from the hospital. She doesn’t have a girlfriend because between med school and interning her schedule killed most attempts at romance and now women seem to be more interested in her status as a doctor than her being a person with a profession.”
“That’s a start.”
“Do you think it’s true about the doctor thing, how people react to you?”
“Yes. How do you feel about the other things she told you?”
“I think they’re true. I know I wouldn’t be that popular if I was a practicing lesbian because I work a lot. It seems togetherness is a big issue in the relationship department.”
“Would you go out with Del?”
“Have you lost your mind? No way!”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t date.”
“How do you expect to meet someone if you don’t date?” Dr. Kohlrabi asked.
“I don’t expect to meet anyone.”
“Do you plan to spend the rest of your life alone?”
“No. I have Gigi.”
“But Gigi is in a relationship with someone else.”
“I know that but one day . . .”
“What if that one day doesn’t come?”
Mallory looked at the clock. “Isn’t our time up?”
“I have a few extra minutes,” Dr. Kohlrabi challenged.
“Well, I don’t.”
“Don’t cross Del off so quickly.”
“I borrowed a shirt after mine got soiled. I have to give it back.”
“So you’ll see her again.”
“I was going to have it delivered . . . with one of my bonsai plants as a thank you. She likes bonsai. We talked about their simplicity and meditative value.”
“You have something in common.”
“So do all the people who go to baseball games. It doesn’t make them lovers,” Mallory countered.
“Next week?” Dr. Kohlrabi inquired. opening her appointment book.
“If I don’t get run over by a truck.”
Gigi and Mallory sat on the couch by the canal waiting for people to go by so Gigi could take a photograph. She had her camera set up on a tripod with a long release cord. It was her latest art project. Gigi had a long list of strange projects. She purposely made bad art to see if the art community would accept it and hail the creation as modern. She did this with the intent of poignantly stabbing the art community in its big, fat, conceited ass. Sometimes her projects backfired like her series on fridge doors that made it into one of the downtown galleries and the local papers.
Mallory could never tell if Gigi liked this or if she viewed notoriety as a failure. Gigi was testing her notion that the universe was perverse in that it toyed with human desire and that desiring brought about bad consequences and that only the lack of desire brought about desired consequences.
“At least you didn’t puke, that would have been really embarrassing,” Gigi said, getting ready to snap a photo of an unsuspecting passerby, a woman in giant pink rollers and a checkered dress, walking a white poodle.
“I think fainting was right up there,” Mallory replied, not wanting to discuss the Incident any further.
“Ollie said Dr. Del was real interested in you. What’s the deal there?” Gigi asked.
“Nothing.”
“Kim says she gave Del your number. Did she call?”
“Yes,” Mallory said, looking away. She despised the intrinsic matchmaking desires of married couples.
/>
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“What did you talk about?”
“Nothing. She thanked me for the plant.”
“What plant?” Gigi asked.
“I gave her a bonsai,” Mallory said, trying to be nonchalant.
“You never gave me a bonsai,” Gigi said.
“You don’t like them. You said they were creepy.”
“How did you know she’d want one?” Gigi asked suspiciously.
“We talked about them. She liked the one Kim has.”
“And you bragged that you made it.”
“I didn’t brag. I simply told her the story about Kim’s father teaching me how to do it. Del said she always admired the art but never knew anyone who could actually do it. That’s all,” Mallory said, her face wrinkling in perturbation.
“Are you going out on a date?” Gigi said.
“No.”
“Did she ask?” Gigi said.
“Is this any of your business?”
“Only if you have something to hide,” Gigi countered.
“All right she asked. I told her I don’t date but that I might consider showing up at another one of the soirees.”
“Are you really going to?”
“I don’t know.”
Del went to Alex’s dinner party only to discover that Mallory wasn’t coming. Alex tried to explain to Del that when Gigi went to pick Mallory up to ensure she would arrive Mallory had made up some not very good excuses for not coming. Gigi hadn’t done her best to be persuasive.
“Mallory is a little different,” Alex said.
“But that’s what I like about her,” Del said, using bravado to cover her disappointment. Kim had already warned her that even thinking about courting Mallory was going to be one endless disappointment. Kim told her to let it go but Del couldn’t. All she thought about was taking Mallory’s cap and glasses off to discover a pretty girl who was smart and odd. She did things that moved Del. She liked being moved.
Del spent the evening helping Alex with the dinner party while Gigi played bad girl with Ollie. Del liked Alex but couldn’t help thinking that Gigi was an incorrigible flirt who would do better to pay attention to her wife more and other women less. All Del wanted was a nice girl to fall in love with, someone she could romance and charm who wouldn’t think it was old-fashioned and corny, someone who would stay true and not wander like Alex’s and Kim’s partners. She thought she might have found her in Mallory, but why did it have to be so hard? But Del was no quitter. She had set her sights on Mallory and neurotic or not she wasn’t going to give up yet.
Saxon Bennett - Talk of the Town Page 2