“Mallory, talk to me.”
“Del, you need to go away,” Mallory said.
“I can’t go away. I love you,” Del said, feeling an intense pain in her chest like she couldn’t breathe. If she weren’t a doctor she would have sworn she was having a heart attack, but as an emotional scientist she knew it was her heart breaking at the thought of never seeing Mallory again.
“Love isn’t good for people. It makes them do bad things.”
“Not our love, Mallory. I would never do anything to hurt you,” Del pleaded.
“That’s what everyone says and then your best friend sleeps with your lover and everyone hides it. I can’t go there, Del. I thought I was strong enough but I’m not. Now go away.”
“I’m not leaving. I’m staying here until I convince you that love isn’t bad,” Del said.
“Suit yourself. But I hear the temperature is supposed to drop rapidly,” Mallory replied.
“I don’t care. I’m not leaving,” Del said firmly. She was trying to keep a grip on the creeping terror that was threatening to engulf her. There was silence.
“Mallory?”
No answer. Give her time, Del’s inner voice told her.
Mallory was visiting the almost forgotten Republic. It contained the same vistas she had first seen when Caroline left and her world was suddenly turned upside down. It frightened her how desperate and frightened she had been and the apparitions of inadequacy that had tormented her. She wasn’t meant for love and she needed to somehow make Del understand that she would never be free of these apparitions, that she couldn’t love because she was afraid of losing. So afraid it wasn’t worth trying. She started to cry.
Del heard her sobbing on the other side of the door.
“Mallory, let me in. Please.”
“Go away.”
“I’m calling Dr. Kohlrabi,” Del said, digging in her wallet for the card, remembering that the doctor had warned her that there might be a time like this, a time when all the tumultuous emotion of falling in love would prove too much.
She called the emergency number and woke up a sleepy therapist who made her slow down and tell her exactly what had happened.
“This is not good,” Dr. Kohlrabi replied, thinking this was bigger and worse than anything she had ever imagined.
“I know. Please save her. I can’t bear to live without her.”
“Let me talk to her,” Dr. Kohlrabi said.
“Mallory, Dr. Kohlrabi wants to talk to you,” Del said, hoping this would mean that Mallory would open the door and let her in.
Instead, the door opened a crack with the chain still on it and a hand snatched the phone. Del never saw Mallory.
“Fuck!” Del said, slumping down on the porch to wait.
What ensued was a screaming match between patient and therapist. Then quiet, intense conversation, then tears.
“I’m crazy!”
“You’re not crazy. The world is,” Dr. Kohlrabi said.
“I can’t love Del. She’ll hurt me like Gigi and Caroline,” Mallory said.
“No, she won’t.”
“Can you guarantee that?”
“Yes, no one could ever be as duplicitous, selfish, and polysexual as those two.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because the universe only has a finite number of evil lesbians in it. You’ve already experienced your fair share.”
“You’re not talking sense. You’re supposed to be a therapist,” Mallory said.
“I am also a woman who would like to be as revered, adored, chased and loved as you are. You’ll be a fool to let her go. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Now open the door and let her in before you break her heart,” Dr. Kohlrabi instructed, wondering if her direct order would be obeyed.
“I’m taking you to court and suing you for undue mental stress if this doesn’t work,” Mallory said.
“And if it does?”
“I’ll buy you a new car,” Mallory replied, remembering the hunk-of-shit old car the doctor drove.
Mallory opened the door. The look of fear and despair on Del’s face pierced straight through Mallory. She was certain it was the same look she had on her face when Caroline had left. Mallory took Del up in her arms and they both started to cry.
“I love you. I’m so sorry,” Mallory said.
Alex left Taylor a note. She knew it was a horrible thing to do but she wanted to get clothes and tell Gigi to go fuck herself. They would meet for golf and talk on the golf course like they’d done a thousand times before. She crept from the house and made her way across town. It was still early and the city was unbearably quiet. For once Alex missed the noise of early morning traffic. She needed a distraction and there wasn’t one to be found.
As she pulled up in the drive of the house she no longer lived in she saw a few straggler cars. The diehards had spent the night, like they’d done at many a party before and Alex thought she wasn’t going to miss getting up in the morning to find uninvited guests passed out in her house surrounded by the party mess of liquor bottles and pizza cartons. She tip-toed over a woman in a leather jacket passed out on the living room rug and made her way to the bedroom. Gigi was nowhere to be found. Someone was in the kitchen making coffee.
Caroline smiled at her.
“I thought I told you to leave last night,” Alex said briskly.
“I didn’t have to, seeing as you did. Want some coffee?”
“No, thank you. Where is she?”
“Out on the couch by the canal . . . drunk.”
“Oh, good. Well, tell her to fuck off for me. You can be my emissary,” Alex said, making her way to the bedroom.
Caroline followed. “You’re leaving her?”
“Shouldn’t I? I can’t think of a reason to stay, considering our entire relationship was one huge lie,” Alex said, barely controlling the urge to slap this impertinent woman sitting on her bed in her house playing twenty questions as she packed.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Caroline tried to explain.
“Spare me. Now if you don’t mind I’d like some time alone,” Alex said, shoving clothes into a duffel bag.
When she was finished packing she took a last look around and left, half angry, half sad and drove to Mallory’s.
Del answered the door. She looked tired and strung out.
“You look like shit,” Alex said.
Del ran her hands through her tangled curly hair.
“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”
“But you did get in the door,” Alex said.
“Did she talk to you?” Del asked, getting them both some coffee.
“Not really, but I had a feeling that she would freak,” Alex said, taking the coffee and sitting on the couch. She didn’t feel so great herself.
“Well, Dr. K persuaded her to at least see me and then we patched things up from there. So far so good but I’m worried,” Del said, rubbing her temples. She had a monster stress headache and if she didn’t eat something soon she was going to puke up all the coffee she was drinking.
“Caroline is still at Gigi’s,” Alex said flatly.
They looked at each other trying to figure out what that meant.
“Are you okay?” Del asked.
“No, I’m angry. I don’t get all this. Right now I hate them all, Gigi for lying, Ollie for telling everyone and Caroline for showing up.”
“I am in total agreement. I was so close to convincing Mallory that this love affair would work and now I’m not so sure that she will ever trust anyone again,” Del said.
“Where is she?”
“Sleeping.”
“Is she okay?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, I couldn’t get her to go back to the hospital so I brought the hospital here. I have her on a drip. She lost a lot of blood and experienced some shock,” Del said, remembering rubbing Mallory’s back as she puked and pleading with her to go back to the hospital.
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“I tried to get her to go to Good Sam’s but she wouldn’t let me.”
“I know. You probably saved her life.”
“It was the least I could do seeing as it was my conniving, evil girlfriend who created all this mess.”
“What are you going to do?” Del asked gently.
“I got my stuff, thank God I’m not a pack rat, and I need to find a place to live. Taylor wants me to live with her but I can’t do that, not yet. I need some time.”
“Are you two involved?”
“Not yet. In love yes, having sex no.”
“Why don’t you take Del’s place?” Mallory said, standing in the doorway holding her IV. She looked like the walking wounded.
“And where would Del live?” Alex asked, knowing the answer.
“With me, silly, if it’s all right with Del. We should probably do that anyway. I think we’ve had enough courtship. It’s time for the other things,” Mallory said, dragging herself over to the arm of the couch and stroking Del’s head.
“Really?” Del said, feeling her heartbeat quicken.
“It’s time. I don’t want to spend another night without you,” Mallory said. “Besides you’d be helping Alex out. However, Alex, I must warn you Del’s apartment adheres strictly to the idea of minimalism.”
“Like I’m any different,” Alex said, thinking she had packed her stuff in a matter of a half an hour.
“What is it with you two?” Mallory teased.
“We’re just waiting for that right woman to come along and decorate our lives,” Alex said.
“Come on, I’ll get you set up, and then I’ll be back to cook you breakfast,” Del said, hopping up.
“Are you in a hurry?” Mallory teased.
“I don’t want you to change your mind,” Del said.
“I heard what you said. That you’re worried I won’t trust you. But I do trust you. Actually, there are a lot of people I can trust. I just can’t trust Gigi. I love you and I want to be your partner. Simple. So you need to stop worrying,” Mallory said, pointing her finger at Del, who sucked on it slowly.
“I know what you two will be doing this afternoon.”
“Yes, now get going. I need a bath. What do I do with this thing?” Mallory said, holding up her bandaged arm.
“Stick it in a trash bag and keep it out of the water,” Del advised.
As Del and Alex left the house, Mallory started her bath and then got on the Internet. She ordered Dr. Kolhrabi a two-door Saturn Coupe in bright red to be delivered by the end of the week. She smiled. Alex may have saved her life but Dr. K had saved her heart.
Ten
Taylor sat at the Country Club waiting for Alex to arrive. She was puzzled by Alex’s sudden departure and wondering what the future would hold for them. She felt less than certain. She hoped Gigi hadn’t talked Alex into returning, because Taylor was no longer in control of her emotions and being so close to Alex and yet not able to touch her was definitely starting to mess up her brain. It reminded her of other times when she thought love was perfect only to have it fail. She did not want another failure.
“Hi,” Alex said, coming to sit next to Taylor on the hood of her car. They watched the golfers on the driving range.
“Good morning,” Taylor said, looking at Alex, trying to find something in her face to give her a clue.
“Sorry about bailing and leaving the note. I just had some things to take care of,” Alex said.
“Are they taken care of?” Taylor said, trying to keep any emotion out of her voice.
“Yes, they are. I got my stuff. I found a place to live and it’s over.”
“You can live with me.”
“I know. It’s not that I don’t want to. I just think it would be better if I didn’t . . . not yet at least.”
“I love you.”
“I know you do. I need you to be patient,” Alex said.
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask. Don’t give up on me,” Alex said, taking her hand.
“I won’t. Let’s go shoot a few holes,” Taylor said.
Taylor smiled, but Alex read disappointment in her face.
“I won’t let you down.”
“I know,” Taylor said.
Angel woke up to Kim holding a cup of tea and a plate of oranges. Her mind briefly recalled the night before.
“You’re not mad at me are you?” Angel said, sitting up in bed.
“Because you saved me from a prison sentence,” Kim teased.
“Well, yes.”
“Actually, now that I am of sound mind and judgment, no.”
“It would have been a horrible waste and I’m not a very good letter writer,” Angel said, taking a sip of tea.
“Neither am I so it’s probably for the best,” Kim said, sticking an orange slice in her mouth and then moving toward Angel.
Angel took the other half out of her mouth and felt their lips touch.
Kim took the cup of tea and set it on the nightstand. She pushed Angel back on the bed, lowering her body down on her.
“I was dreaming about you,” Kim said, lifting Angel’s T-shirt and caressing her breasts.
Angel let out a soft moan. “Was it good?” she asked, pulling Kim’s shirt off.
“Very good.”
Kim kissed her stomach and then moved lower. taking Angel in her mouth, lifting Angel’s legs on her shoulders, her tongue gliding softly between the folds, watching her lover’s face. Angel put her hand behind Kim’s head and pulled her in tighter.
“I love you,” Angel said, feeling the shower of love wash her body clean of the past, her mind ready for the future, aching for the moment of release as Kim entered her.
As they lay quiet together, Angel said, “You know, I was proud of you last night.”
“Why?” Kim asked, running her finger around Angel’s soft brown nipple.
“Because you stood up for yourself. Ollie didn’t intimidate you anymore.”
“I think what really happened was that I was so damn mad at her I forgot to be scared. Suddenly, she didn’t have that same hold on me. I finally saw her for what she is—a pathetic woman who only knows how to hurt people. It’s sad that someone can be that damaging to everyone around her,” Kim replied.
“This much is true,” Angel said, running her hand up Kim’s thigh.
Caroline finally succeeded in ousting the last of the party guests and had sufficiently rendered order to the house. She knew she was staving off the inevitable. Gigi was still on the couch out back by the canal. Caroline knew she had to talk to her, that’s why she had remained, but she dreaded it because Gigi was going to be full of nothing but animosity. She knew how difficult it would be to make Gigi understand that what she had done wasn’t what she had intended, that was Ollie’s doing and she should have had enough foresight to see it coming. Caroline had been desperate to repair a past that was haunting any chance of having a future. She poured two cups of coffee and went out back.
Gigi sat with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s between her legs, fishing with a children’s plastic play reel.
“Mallory and I used to do this all the time. I guess you put an end to that.”
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Caroline said, offering the cup of coffee. Gigi waved it away.
“For Mallory to lacerate herself, for Alex to pack up and move away, for me to lose my best friend and my lover in one evening. What did you intend to do? Bring a ‘welcome to the neighborhood basket, I’m back now, doesn’t everyone still love me’ card attached to your lapel. What the fuck,” Gigi said, standing up and whipping the fishing pole into the canal.
“Gigi . . .”
“Go way. What are you still doing here anyway?”
“Waiting for you,” Caroline said.
“We’re over. We were over before we even got started. We should have never started,” Gigi said, climbing down the bank of the canal.
“Where are you going?” Caroline asked.
> “Away from you, as far away from you as water, mud and garbage will take me,” Gigi said, starting to wade upstream.
The police officer led Gigi from her cell into the custody of Aunt Lil.
“Couldn’t you have cleaned her up a bit?” Lil asked the police officer, as she held a tissue to her nose.
“She wouldn’t let us. She’s lucky we didn’t throw her in detox except that she kept pleading for us to do so. The ones that beg aren’t good candidates. Besides she never got the DT’s so we figured she wasn’t in need.”
“No, she’s not. What’s she in for?”
“Trespassing and disorderly conduct. Pay the fine and she’s free to go,” the officer said.
Lil paid the fine.
“I’m taking it out of your allowance,” Aunt Lil said.
“You stink,” Fran said.
“I’m having a nervous breakdown. Do you think you could cut me some slack,” Gigi said.
“What happened?” Aunt Lil asked.
“Take me to breakfast and I’ll tell you,” Gigi said.
“Do you have a trash bag we could have?” Fran asked.
“Sure,” the officer said.
“I’m not letting you ruin the upholstery in the car,” Fran said.
“We have rules,” Aunt Lil teased.
“Yeah, yeah, thanks for coming to get me,” Gigi mumbled.
They rolled the windows down and got Gigi some breakfast.
When they dropped Gigi off, Aunt Lil asked, “Do you have a better grip on things or do you want us to stay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Fran asked.
“Yes. I just had to get it out of my system. Now I don’t give a fuck,” Gigi said, getting out of the car.
“Call me if you feel like you’re going to have a relapse, understood?” Lil said.
“Yes, ma’am,” Gigi said.
Gigi went in the house and stripped off all her clothes, leaving them in a pile by the front door. She sat on the couch, sipped her coffee and munched on her breakfast burrito.
Caroline came in. “You’re naked.”
“Have you smelled my apparel lately?” Gigi said, pointing to the pile of discarded filthy clothes.
“Obviously not,” Caroline said.
Saxon Bennett - Talk of the Town Page 21