Leaves and Shadows

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Leaves and Shadows Page 6

by Christopher Chancy


  "Thank you, Momma. You saved our lives.”

  Marsha nodded her head, her expression haggard yet relieved. "You’re welcome, sweetie, but I wouldn’t thank me just yet. We need to get you both somewhere safe.” She looked up at the darkening sky. Their light lay in the rapidly graying horizon. “We don’t have much time, left. Those things will swarm on us once darkness falls."

  "Where are we going?" Erin asked nervously.

  Marsha answered grimly. “I’m going to help you both get out of this evil place.”

  Chapter Eight

  Decisions

  Erin held Evan close to her as she allowed her mother to lead her away from the pool. Marsha increased pace in response to the swiftly setting sun in the horizon. It was now just above the opened-walled shops.

  Grateful as she was to have him in her arms again, his continued catatonic state gnawed at her. As they walked down the leaf-covered sidewalk, Erin kept glancing down at her son. In part, was checking his status, but she mainly needed to reaffirm his presence. He stared blankly in the direction his head lobbed. She gave him an affectionate squeeze.

  Beside her, Marsha was lost in her own thoughts as she scanned their environment for potential troubles. Her mother broke the silence. "How were things for you after I left?"

  Erin looked at her momentarily confused. "I'm sorry?"

  Marsha took a deep breath. The question seemed to take some sort of emotional toll out of her but she asked again. "How was your life after I died?"

  Erin was surprised by the question. "Don't you . . . don't you already know?"

  Marsha winced. "Yes. I do. It's just, I wanted to hear it from you. I know about your life and the lives of your father and your son.”

  "If you know all of this, then why do you want to hear me talk about it? What can I share with you that you don’t already know?"

  Marsha stared fixedly ahead as she answered. "I know about the events in your life, but . . ." she looked at Erin. "But I do not have any of the intimacy. Please share it with me."

  Erin was silent for a long minute. She wasn't sure where to begin. The years following her mother’s death were not a time that she liked to talk about. Scott knew, but it had taken several years for her to open up to him completely.

  "What can I say, Momma? It was hard. You died the very night we had the worst argument in my life. I cannot begin to tell you how guilty I felt, or the vast amounts of self-loathing I developed because of that. I started to think of myself as a horrible, horrible person. And the one person that I could have used advice from, or forgiveness . . ." She looked up at her mother intently. "You were gone."

  “Without you to anchor us. Dad retreated into himself. I’m not sure second how he managed to hold a second job to pay off the medical bills. He left me to my own devices, but I was lonely, depressed, and starving for affection. The first time a boy ever showed me any sort of affection. I ate it up with a spoon."

  “Darren Hickson- I met him in the park where I spent most of my time after your death, when my friends couldn’t relate to me anymore. He was sweet, and quiet and read me his poetry.

  “Like him, his words were dark and beautiful. He was never anything else but infatuated with me, and I was desperate for him, or at least the love that he dosed out so sparingly.”

  Erin shook her head. “Darren, wasn’t very good for me. I did love him, but our love was poisonous. It wasn't toxic like the fast-acting cyanide kind that would have destroyed us on our first embrace. No, our love was carcinogenic, slowly rotting away everything that was good and beautiful in us. He introduced me to drugs and alcohol. Soon I had my own addiction to accompany his, but mine was worse. I was addicted to him, and the anesthetizing effect his presence had in the void inside me. I was so afraid to be alone. I spent years in this cycle. It finally took catching him cheating on me at party, to see him and for that matter my life for what it had finally become.”

  I fled drunk and distraught and sped down a country road just trying to get away. I cursed him, you, my dad, myself, and God for putting me on this path. The only one who answered back was God. With a big lightning bolt right in front of the road I was driving.

  I screamed and swerved. I crashed through a sign and my car was thrown into a steep wooded embankment. It bounced savagely as it tore through the underbrush and trees down the hill where it crashed into a muddy pool at the bottom. My head struck the steering wheel and blood poured into my eyes. I was in pain, no one knew where I was, and no one was coming. I was alone, and had been for a long time. Just because I was near Darren and my so-called friends didn’t mean that I wasn't alone. My life as a whole fell down into its own valley, each one of my choices drawing me deeper and deeper into my own despair. I could stay down there alone and in pain in the dark, or I could attempt to climb out of this pit and try to save myself.”

  “To this day I do not know how I made it to the top of that hill. In that limited light I could barely see for the mud, the blood, and the sheets of rain. Torrents of water washed past me and threatened to take me back into the abyss below. I fought to keep my consciousness every foot of that hill. I was told later that I had climbed one hundred and twenty-five feet to the top of that hill. Until now, it was the hardest thing that I had ever done.”

  I passed out at the top and someone, I don’t know who, found me, and took me to the hospital. I wouldn’t let Darren visit me in the hospital, and after I was discharged I started to attend Alcoholic Anonymous. Eventually I found peace with myself tried to visit me, but I had him removed by security. Within a few days of being discharged I joined alcoholics’ anonymous and started the process of turning my life around. I soon met Scott afterwards. As it so happens in the coffee shop across the street from my AA meeting. He was so warm and gentle. I knew almost immediately, this was what love was.

  Up until the last few months the years seemed to pass in blissful expediency. Scott and I were married within a year, and we had Evan a year after that. Everything was great until . . ." her smile faded somberly.

  "Last week." Marsha filled in.

  Erin nodded. "Last week.”

  She looked down at her son, still lost in his own mind. She reflexively rubbed her belly tenderly, her eyes burning with tears. "I . . . I don't know how I'm going to get through this."

  "We're here," said Marsha.

  Erin looked up to see what looked like the main admission entrance to the waterpark about a hundred yards from their position. There was a break in the rusted metal gates where three ticket booths stood at its center. All of the ticket booths had cracked windows; the middle ones were completely broken out. Their roofs were worn and sagging, and the roof on the left had a hole in it large enough to put a basketball through. It wasn't the booths or the gate that held her gaze, but what lay beyond them. The last of this world’s dying light shined down just past the entrance. The light created an opening in the darkness revealing a parking lot not from the decrepit world that they were in, but from her own world. Erin could see vehicles travelling down the road beside it. Her eyes widened when she recognized the parking lot as the one from the waterpark in her team years that she and her mother had argued about the day before Marsha had died.

  Marsha said grimly, "That is your way out."

  "We're almost out of time," said Marsha. "When sun sets, that door will be completely closed."

  "What?" asked Erin.

  "It's only the light that holds this doorway open. Once it’s gone, the darkness will claim the portal for its own."

  Erin looked behind her. The sun was now a halfway down the roof on the opened walled shops. She looked at her mother. "We need to hurry."

  Marsha nodded, but her expression seemed troubled. She started forward by beside her daughter and grandson side.

  Behind them several things hissed their rage. Erin did not turn around, but the protests in the dark spurred them on. Their feet slapped the pavement as Erin sprinted awkwardly with Evan in her arms. Just before the decrepit
booths, Erin stopped, breathless from fear and exertion.

  She turned to her mother, "What is . . . going to happen . . . to you?" she took a deep steadying breath before she continued, "Are you trapped here? Can you come with us?"

  "I'm only bound here by choice, honey. I only came here because of you. Once you are gone, I will move on."

  "Mom, I didn't get the chance to say thank you. I want to tell you I’m sorry for the way that we parted. It was-"

  Marsha held up her hand. "Honey you don't have to say anything about that."

  Erin shook her head. "But I do. I cannot tell you how many times I have cried at night and told you I'm sorry. I love you, Mom. It was unforgivable for those to be our final parting words."

  Marsha took her daughter's hands in her own. "No, it wasn't. Because I have forgiven you and I asked that you forgive me too, and you did. Remember?"

  "I do," Erin told her solemnly.

  "Since my departure, you have been through so much," said Marsha. She then added out loud to herself, "And now you are here."

  "Mom? Why are we here? Where is this place?"

  Marsha avoided the question as she looked at the rays of that shined over the shop’s roof. The doorway to the real world shrank as the sun lowered down below the structure. The portal was now at waist height. She said urgently, "Honey, you had better go or you will lose your door!"

  Erin gave a start. She bent forward and kissed her mother's tear-covered cheek. "I love you, Momma."

  Erin started forward. She walked forward only ten feet before she turned around to her mother's worried gaze. "Can you tell me something? Will Evan be okay?"

  Marsha's lip quivered, and for a few stunned moments, she could not find her voice. When she did, all she could say was, "Please, honey. Go before it closes."

  Heartbroken, Erin turned back to the portal. It had already shrunken by another foot. She moved forward with purpose while literally watching the portal inch closed before her eyes. The portal opening was just above knee height now. She could feel the warmth, hear the traffic, and smell the exhaust coming from the other side."

  Suddenly a hand clamped down on her shoulder as Marsha shouted, "Stop!"

  Erin turned around. "What? Mom what are you doing?"

  Marsha's eyes were full of fierce conviction. "I can't let you go out that way! Not yet!"

  Erin was confused as she tried to shrug off her grip. "But you said that this was our only way out."

  Marsha was visibly at war with herself. Her voice cracked with emotion. "I never said that it was your only way out. This exit would be safer and easier to use, but it’s not the only one. The other exit is much harder to find and much more dangerous."

  "What do you mean?" Erin asked through narrowed eyes. “Mom, you're not making sense. You’re scaring me! What are you talking about? I have Evan now. Why would I want to stay here?"

  Marsha took a deep breath and looked into Erin's eyes. "You’re not done here, not completely. There is something else that you have to know before you can leave."

  Erin looked back at the dwindling portal then back at her mother. “You’re telling me this now? Why?”

  "I couldn’t say anything before now, honey. You have to believe that I wanted to, but I couldn’t bound from saying anything until now. The rules- the boundaries, Erin! In this particular case, I couldn’t mention say the alternative exit until we reached this point and you were ready to leave. Remember I had eluded to it this earlier, but I had to be cryptic.”

  Erin stared at her mother. “What are you trying to Momma?”

  Marsha nodded and her expression grim. "You have your son, but you still haven’t saved his soul."

  Erin felt as if she had been punched in the gut. "His . . . his soul?"

  “Yes. There are forces here that you cannot possibly understand, they are vying for all of your lives, both now and for eternity. They want you. They want Evan.” She paused as she rested her hand on Erin’s abdomen. “And they want your baby."

  The chill from her mother's words caused her to step back reflexively. Marsha let her hand fall away. "When Evan entered this realm, the dark forces here attacked him and separated his body from his soul. Once separated, his body was placed on that concrete island in the middle of that pool, but his soul is trapped behind another set of obstacles. I came here in an attempt to guide you.”

  She pointed at the closing portal. “I’m sorry, honey, but you have a choice to make. It’s one that only you can make for yourself and Evan. I cannot influence you either way. You can leave now through that portal. You will both exit here alive and physically healthy, but your son will remain soulless.”

  Erin was stunned. “He can survive without a soul?”

  Her mother nodded, “Yes. It would be a life without joy or sorrow, without love or hate. He would live a life devoid of connection, knowing only pain and emptiness.”

  “That's horrible!”

  “Yes it is. I hope that you are strong enough to go forward all the way.”

  Erin looked down at the patch of light. If she tried she might still be able to squeeze herself on through. “Can I put Evan through and then go look for his soul?”

  Her mother shook her head slowly. “No. You will need his body to save his soul.”

  "How dangerous are these obstacles?"

  “They are more dangerous than anything that you have ever encountered before. You will need every ounce of courage and strength that you can muster if you choose to go on. You could lose not only your life and your sanity, but that of your son and unborn child.”

  "What will I have to do?"

  Marsha shook her head. “I can't tell you honey. I want to, but . . . I can't.”

  “Is it another boundary?” Erin questioned with growing exasperation.

  Marsha looked disgusted with her own ineptitude. “Yes! To go further you will have to do so without any prior knowledge of what you are to encounter.”

  “Oh. Terrific.”

  “There is something else of great importance that you must take into account before deciding whether to exit now or stay and go on and save Evan’s soul.”

  Erin looked at her mother uncertainly. “What is that?”

  Marsha’s eyes were fierce when she placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “If you decide to remain and search for Evan’s soul. You will have to do so . . . alone.”

  Erin gasped. “You mean-”

  Marsha nodded grimly. “Once the sun sets here, I will have to leave you here.”

  Chapter Nine

  Farewell

  “Are you sure?”

  Erin didn’t answer as she watched the light of the portal shrink to a sliver.

  Marsha placed her hand on her shoulder. “You still have time to change your mind.”

  She shook her head slowly. “No. I will not leave any part of my baby in this godless place.”

  Marsha nodded. “If that’s your decision, then I fully support you.”

  They silently watched as the light of the portal diminished, closed, and disappeared completely. One moment she was watching the flickers of light from the passing cars in the other world her world. The next, those dancing lights were gone, and she was left staring out into the gloom of the cracked and empty parking lot, the sun only barely visible on the visible. It was then that she realized how comforting the sound of traffic could be.

  A low moan involuntarily escaped her throat.

  “Shhh. It’s okay.” Marsha pulled her into a tight hug.

  Erin pushed away from her mother’s embrace and looked up at her with panicked eyes, “Momma, what have I’ve done? How can I possibly get through this place? Especially without you here to help me? What will I do when there’s no light left to keep those things away, and they start leaving their hiding places to look for me and for Evan?” Her eyes grew wilder. “They will tear us apart!”

  “That is enough, young lady!” Marsha snapped. Erin felt her childlike fear of the older woman come back in an ins
tant.

  Marsha stabbed a finger at the sun’s sliver on the horizon. “We have time, but not nearly enough for you to waste it on such defeatist talk. Now come with me and let me help you with one more thing, while I still can!”

  Erin looked past her at the setting sun and the dimming landscape. The shadows were growing longer and darker. Within their pitched depths she could see hints of movement. An involuntary tremor tickled down her spine. She was afraid, but she asked resolutely, “What am I supposed to do?”

  “That’s my girl.” Marsha smiled as she placed her hand on Erin’s cheek. “Hold tight onto Evan. Do not put him down for an instant. Is that understood?”

  Erin nodded. “Yes.” She didn’t feel like her mother really needed to emphasize that particular point any further. At this moment, she wasn’t sure she would ever put her little boy down again.

  She pointed off into the dark horizon opposite the sun. “Do you see that light over there?”

  Erin squinted and shook her head. “No.”

  Marsha stepped beside her and pointed again, “It’s right there.”

  Erin followed the trajectory of her pointing finger. After a few moments she sighed. “I’m sorry, Momma, but I don’t- wait! I see it!”

  Off in the distance she saw a small light that seemed red-tinged. It might as well have been a distant star for all of the light that it gave.

  “That’s where I have to go?” Erin asked, queasy under the weight of her daunting task settling somewhere inside the pit of her stomach.

  “Yes.”

  She looked at the older woman frantically. “How can I do that? There isn’t any way that I can get all the way there before the sun sets!”

  Marsha shook her head. “No, you won’t be able to.”

  “But . . .” Erin felt stupid for having to stress the point. “What about the dark creatures?”

  “I haven’t forgotten about them.” Marsha turned her head and stared fixedly at a point in the dark where Erin thought she could see movement. Her expression hardened. “They haven’t slipped my mind one bit.” She looked back at her. “Come with me. We need to hurry.”

 

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