As her eyes adjusted, she became aware that she wasn't sitting in total darkness. There four points of light, none of which were focused directly on them. The two faintest were yellow, and the other brighter ones were red. They were shining on opposite ends of a large object lying parallel to her several feet away. From their glow she could see that she sat in a ditch in between two tree-covered hills. They and the object were all lying in a pool of thick mud.
She looked at the hill behind her. She could see the faint line of what looked to be an Erin sized skid mark in the mud close to the bottom. She thought out loud, "That must be what I slid down."
She stood up awkwardly as a wave of vertigo swam through her head and she sank mid-calf into the mud.
There was something strangely familiar about this scene. Something about this place made her feel uneasy. She squinted as she stared closer at the object the lights emanated from.
Lightning ignited in the sky and illuminated the object before her followed immediately by a ricocheting boom of thunder. A strangled cry wheezed out of her constricted throat as she stared at the broken rusted remains of her old car. It was the same car that she wrecked at the bottom of the ravine during her drunk driving accident so many years ago. Her eyes were drawn past the cracked glass of the driver side window to what lay inside the vehicle's compartment, a silhouetted figure whose head was hidden behind tangled hair.
"No," she gasped.
She looked around wildly at the slope behind the car. It was overgrown and covered with trees. She shook her head. "No! No! No! Not here! Not again! This is wrong! I can't face climbing that hill again! Please, God, no! That climb almost killed me last time!" She stared up into the rising darkness. "I don't want to go back up there!"
A loud click from the car made her jump. The doors had unlocked themselves. She tried to back away, but her feet were firmly stuck in place. She toppled backwards into the mud with another squishy splat.
The rusted metal screeched on its hinges as the driver-side door opened. Erin's eyes bulged as she tried in vain to back away, but the muck kept her glued to the spot. The door was completely open when a bolt of lightning flashed and revealed the driver. A scream tore from her lips. The driver's neck was twisted at an angle not conducive to life. She was staring back at her own dead bulging eyes. The skin of her face was taut over her skull and her lips had worn away to reveal broken teeth from the crash so many years ago.
Erin's panicked mind commanded her to get away from the dead visage of herself. As she frantically tried to scramble away, her legs sank deeper into the muck. She tried to pull them free, but her feet wouldn't budge. The harder she struggled, the deeper she would sink. She was now down to her knees, and if she didn’t stop soon, she and Evan would drown. She had to stop herself somehow. Stop. That's it! She froze. At once she stopped sinking.
She looked around from the pool of viscous mud over to the dead woman. At her own dead body. Its irises were just visible in the dark. She was dead, but Erin felt like there was something malevolent staring back her.
You need to calm down, Erin, she told herself. Stay calm and move slowly.
Her hammering heart made it difficult for her to slow down. She gingerly pulled her first foot out of the sludge. The minutes crawled and the rain continued to fall in droves as she precariously trudged towards the slope. Each step was arduous and after a few minutes, her legs began to burn with the effort. An eternity later, she finally reached the bottom of the hill she slid down.
A sudden bubbling, gurgling gulp of sound startled her. She spun around and she and Evan nearly toppled over again with the movement. She arched her back and bent her knees to steady her momentum. She focused on the source of the strange noise. All Erin could do was gasp as she watched the entire front section of the car sink below the surface of the mud. The mud flowed over the hood and through the open driver's door pushing the dead body further inside. Her old car's tail rose in the air as gelatinous bubbles burped out of its confines. It slowly began to slide beneath the depths. As the taillights slid beneath the surface, the mud glowed an eerie red color. Soon that too faded and they were consumed in complete darkness except for the sporadic flashing clouds above.
She turned to look up at the black wall of the slope looming over them and thought dismally. How am I going to do this?
She remembered that last time she had barely survived this climb, and now she was seven months pregnant and carrying her son to boot.
Erin’s silent reminder of her children jolted her out of her overwhelming self-pity. She became angry with herself. What are you going to do? Stay down here? No! Allow Evan to stay down here! Definitely not! Now quit your whining and get going!
She reached out ahead of her and plunged her hand into the deluge of rain water feeling for a handhold of some kind. She felt an exposed root and grabbed it. Holding tight to Evan, she hauled them up onto slope. The rapid streams threatened to wash them back down into the mud below. Crushing Evan to her, Erin threw her leg onto the slope and pulled herself into a kneeling position with water flowing up around her knees and chest.
She exhaled slowly, gathering her strength. The trek through the mud had depleted so much of her already-low energy stores. She braced herself and stood up slowly, cradling Evan into her. "Come on, baby. Let's get you someplace safe." She knew that her words were hollow, but sometimes even the hollow words needed to be said. She started to climb.
As she climbed, Evan’s limp body slipped in her already precarious grip. She fought to hold onto him. Despite her determination, it seemed the very elements conspired to separate them every inch of the climb. The rapids of water threatened to wash them away with her every step. She was chilled to the point of numbness. The rain itself fell in buckets and obscured her already-limited view, unnerving her more than anything else. With the chaotic spurts of lightning, she could see movement from the nearby shadows and tress. She was being watched up close by something evil, or was her frazzled imagination working on her.
She jerked her head around constantly as she slowly continued upward. She could hear a low guttural noise that sounded an awful lot like chuckling. Minutes later, she saw the faint hint of a red glow like predatory eyes, off to her right before it faded in the rain and shadows.
Erin tried to push herself up the hill even faster. Her efforts were met with increased stumbling. She slipped and almost fell at the steepest part of the incline, but her free hand slapped down on a branch just before they could topple backwards. The bark of the branch raked through the palm of her hand. She could feel the laceration in her skin as hot blood began to bleed out profusely. She pulled Evan to safety, panting a few ragged breaths as she burst into tears.
She gave into her crying for no more than half a minute before she snapped at herself, Get a grip on yourself, Erin! This isn’t the time!
She mastered herself with one deep breath. She didn’t bother wiping her tears out of her eyes. The downpour of rain made it a pointless maneuver. As she looked up, she did a double-take. Not far off in the distance was a faint glow that did not disappear as she looked at it. The glow wasn’t necessarily bright, but compared to the gloom around her, it was veritable beacon. Would it lead her to Evan’s soul? She didn’t know. But she did know that it was a way out of this nightmare from her past, and for now that was good enough. She ignored her bleeding hand, her cramping muscles, her fatigue, the cold. That light ahead of her gave her hope. She started towards it.
The snap of the branch breaking behind her was like a rifle shot to her ears. Her head snapped around and she distinctly saw the pair of red lights rushing up the hill after her.
“No!” she gasped.
She twisted back around and ran up the hill throwing caution to the wind. Her feet dug into the loose earth and tidal waves of water. She fought for every step and battled for speed, but with every step up, she lost half a step in slipping backwards. She fought on. She rose higher and higher and the light ahead of her was getting brig
hter and brighter. Behind her she could hear more snapping branches. She refused to look back, refused to take her eyes from the light.
She was almost there. Another ten feet. She could hear her pursuer itself. It was so close. Its unearthly growling vibrated off her very skin. Any moment now, she expected it to lash out.
Desperate to save herself and her son, she leapt. Suddenly she was engulfed in the blinding light as she crashed to the ground. She sat up and spun around cradling Evan to her. She stared back behind her. Before her was a wide glass window that spanned from floor to ceiling. Through it she could see a dark reflection of the dark scene on the roadside curb. She could see the brush and trees whipping in the storm’s fury and the rusted sign that she crashed through all those years ago. But none of these things were what held her attention. Just beyond the reflection of the road, within the shadows of the tree line, was a pair of angry red eyes.
Suddenly lightning cracked and the owner of the eyes was bathed in the brief flash of light. Erin screamed as the broken figure of her own dead body dripping mud stared out from the darkness. She clutched Evan to both protect him and to feel the security of his body next to her.
“Pathetic,” said a cold voice behind her. “Simply pathetic.”
She jumped as she twisted around to stare into the cold expression of Darren Hickson.
Chapter Seventeen
Accusations
Erin’s was locked in place by the clutches of Darren’s gaze. Unable to move, unable to speak, unable to take in her environment, all she could do was stare at his pallid face. She was so transfixed that she failed to notice that Darren himself was another reflection in the glass.
All she could see were his dark eyes and that angry smirk. “I can’t believe I ever loved you. How stupid was I, huh? I actually believed you loved me too! Now look at you.” He sneered, now waving water dripping onto the floor at her feet and her head of muddy tangled hair. “You used me like a security blanket, and jumped in the sack with the very next guy to come along! Look what it got you: a soulless shell of a child, and another doomed to die during birth.”
He shook his head as his vision burned into her. “You’re pathetic. Your children are pathetic. Your whole life would be a joke if you weren't so busy injuring everyone you supposedly love at every turn. I guess I’m pathetic too. You know why? Because I was actually naïve enough to waste five years on you. What did that get me? Pain, heartache, addiction, that was my toll for loving you! I want those years back! Can you give those years back? Huh? Can you?” He slammed his fists against the mirror. It rattled violently in its place on the wall.
Erin jumped back. She looked at the space around him for the first time, just realizing that he was held in his own prison. Feeling the lost teenager in her resurfacing, Erin bit her trembling lip as she stared back.
“Oh, here we go!” he shouted as he threw his arms up in the air. “You’re going to start with your number one defense, crying!" He mockingly rubbed his eyes. "Boo hoo! You should feel sorry for me! Can't you see how pathetic I am?” He ripped his hands away from his face and slapped them against the glass. “No! It’s not going to work this time, sweetheart! You've left me a shell of a man! You might not be able to get me those years back, but at least you’re going to pay.” He gave her a sinister smile. “Oh, how you’re going to pay.” He leaned up against the glass. “Do you know what the best part is?”
Erin silently shook her head.
“Give up? The best part is that I get to watch it all go down. I get to be here to watch them break you. And when they’re done, I get to be there to dance in the ashes of your despair.”
"Get away from me," she whispered hoarsely.
"Oh that's rich," he told her snidely. "Where do you think that I’m going to go?" He held out his arms and for the first time she looked past him at his environment. It was a place that once upon a time, she was so intimately familiar with, but like the rest of this world it was distinctly distorted in a black shadow that sucked out all the light and joy. It was his old bedroom, but in an extreme state of disrepair. The lights were dimmed, the bed linens were tattered, the paint on the walls was peeling, and every surface was littered with trash and drug and alcohol paraphernalia.
"This is where I am doomed to spend an eternity!" he screamed at her.
"Y-you're d-dead?" she gasped.
"Oh, let me see.” He ticked off points on his fingers as listed them out. “I didn't have a job, a college education, or vocational training beyond asking if you want fries with that. Top that concoction off with a severe addiction to a plethora of drugs and alcohol added to severe bouts of depression. Yeah, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out final the answer to that equation.”
"You killed yourself?"
"No." he said darkly, "I just finished the job you started."
"Oh, Darren! I'm so sorry! I never meant for . . ."
"I don't want your apologies! I want retribution! And I want it now!" He slammed his fists into the mirror. His thunderous pounding echoed in the room and reverberated in Erin’s ears.
She backed away from the wrath of his words and the blows of his fists looked around for any way to escape. She was in a hexagon shaped room. Darren’s mirror made up an entire side. A second mirror to her left contained the reflection of the curbside. The red eyes remained fixed from their place in the shadows. Erin cringed as her gaze touched on the unblinking stare of her dead self. She tore her gaze away. The remaining walls were bare save one the bore a dark doorway.
She rushed to it and suddenly heard the sound of the storm around her.
"Oh no!" She realized too late that she was so focused on getting away. For a moment she thought she walked through the reflection of the curb by mistake.
She whirled around expecting the zombie version of herself to lash out. But she wasn't standing by the curb or in the rain. She was standing in front of another mirror. She glanced behind her and saw that she had not passed through another mirror but through an open door frame. Beyond the door's threshold was a dark room that she could only see a few feet into. She could no longer see nor hear Darren pounding on his panel of glass.
The sound of the storm drew her attention to the scene ahead of her. Thunder and lightning crashed as the rain fell in droves in the mirror directly in front of her.
In the storming frame were just under a hundred people garbed in black funeral attire. They stood around heedless of the pouring rain with their heads uncovered by umbrellas or hats. Amongst them she could see her father. Like that horrible day in her past, her father was sobbing with awful abandon. His words of grief had become almost infantile in their articulations. Unlike that day, none of the supporters tried to comfort him in the least. They did not embrace him or hold an umbrella over his head. His tears of mourning mixed with torrent of rain. He was the only one grieving. All of the rest of the attendees of her mother's funeral watched Erin with an accusatory stare.
The only other person who did not look at her was the preacher who stood at the head of the coffin. She only vaguely remembered him from that day, but as he stood before her, Erin’s memory filled in the gaps of that time. The preacher was a large older man whose robes were plastered to his form by the rain.
The preacher held out his arms palms up, and his voice rang out over the din of the pounding rain. "Oh, Lord! We know not why you have forsaken your daughter, Marsha! Your will is mighty and unrelenting! We are but mere insects in the hurricane force of you whims! We loathsome bugs implore, "Why you saw fit to snuff out the life of your loyal servant, Marsha Counter, only to allow the ungrateful life of her abhorrent daughter to continue to exist in her sinful, unrepentant life. We humbly beg your forgiveness for our ignorant questioning of your almighty authority. Thank you, oh Lord, for allowing us meager beings the opportunity to witness your grand design.
"You intend for this unrepentant daughter and her unholy spawns to suffer for all of her past transgressions. Vengeance is yours, oh Lord!
We now see that the fruition of your design is glorious!
"Like King David, in your great and holy book, who lost his misbegotten child from the union with his adulterous wife, she too will soon know loss. Marsha Counter, just as David’s loyal soldier suffered an untimely death by those he had only sought to protect and love, you will witness our Lord’s holy vengeance. Erin will know the suffering that she has caused and she will feel your mighty retribution. Her firstborn, already corrupt from her upbringing, will lose his mind first and then his body shall follow. Erin will know pain before death takes her into its cold, unmerciful grip. For your deliverance of this evil, we are grateful to you, oh Lord. Amen!"
The congregation all said in perfect unison, "Amen!"
Her father's head came up to glare at her as he too uttered “Amen” with the crowd. His head dropped back down into his incomprehensible sobbing. For a moment, she thought she had seen the image of her younger self in the background.
The priest was not done addressing her. Erin stared at him trying to rack her fevered mind for his name. He began to walk forward, his expression locked into a dark sneer. That was when his name slammed home. Father Mackleby. Father Roy Mackleby.
"Have you not done enough, harlot? Or have you come here to gloat at your handiwork! You destroyed your family from within!” He waved his arms the scene of the past. "You are doing it again now! You left your mother to die and go to Hell in your stead! And that abomination!" He stabbed a finger at her abdomen as he snarled. "That is God's punishment for your sins! Your family will forever be destroyed by your petulant hand!"
"Stop it!" Erin croaked as she backed away, shaking her head.
She turned. She was still in a hexagon shaped room. Father Mackleby and his congregation held one mirror on a side. To her surprise the curb with the red eyes remained in its fixed point on the wall it was in the other room. The red eyes still stared. The only wall that remained was the door she had come from.
Leaves and Shadows Page 11