Onika opened her eyes and looked at the bathroom walls. They were covered in words. She squinted to read some of the sentences.
I am a gift.
My body is sexy, and beautiful, and healthy.
I have a purpose.
I am mine.
Onika whispered the words the way she and Earlene had whispered Judy’s healing prayer at the altar.
She washed her hands and face. Took a damp paper towel and dabbed at her eyes. Her stomach grumbled again, reminding her of the food on the other side of the door.
Onika walked back into the kitchen, and Charmayne pointed to her seat.
“I started making your plate. Or plates. I couldn’t fit it all on one.”
“You’re going to think that I’m greedy.”
“No, I won’t. I don’t think anything about anyone based on their actions. Cream and sugar in your coffee?”
“Yes, both. Thank you.”
Onika thought about Charmayne’s words and decided that Charmayne was fooling herself. Everybody made judgments about people. People had been judging Onika her entire life.
“I don’t believe you,” Onika said.
Charmayne’s eyebrows shot up. “What don’t you believe?” “You have to form opinions of people. Everyone does.”
“I used to.”
“What changed?”
“One day I broke all the glass in my home because my husband left me for a man.”
“Wow.”
“If you had seen me that day, what do you think you would’ve thought about me?”
“That you had lost your mind.”
Charmayne nodded. “Mmm-hmm. I wound up in a psychiatric ward, and I was broken. Stressed to the limit, but my mind was intact. I decided after that to not judge people on their actions. They might be having their worst day.”
This broke Onika’s floodgates. She was right in the middle of her worst day. In the last twenty-four hours she’d slept on a train, walked outside all night, and stolen someone’s clothing from the gym. The sum of those actions painted a horrific picture in Onika’s mind.
Charmayne gave her a sad smile and a tissue.
“You’re getting tears on your fried chicken.”
Onika looked down at her plate and sighed. Suddenly, she no longer had an appetite.
“Eat, honey. I know how it feels for everything to be shattered. If you let me, I can help you put it back together.”
Onika didn’t see how Charmayne could help other than giving her a roof over her head. The broken things in her life were irretrievably broken. She didn’t even want to put that life back together.
She wanted to throw it away and start over from scratch.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Charmayne gave Onika a tour of Safe Harbor. It was a fairly large town house with four bedrooms and a finished basement.
“I am surprised that you’re not full,” Onika said. “There are a lot of women out here who . . . who would need a place like this.”
“You mean women who’re homeless and abused?”
“Yes, that’s what I mean.”
“Then why don’t you say it?”
“I guess I’m not ready to accept that I’m homeless. My life wasn’t supposed to go like this. I got into an elite school and sorority, and got a rich man. I was living the dream. Or I thought I was. I wasn’t supposed to end up like this.”
“You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, and this is exactly the right time.”
“Oh, lord. You sound like one of those preachers on television. So God wanted me to get kicked out by my boyfriend and not have anywhere to live? He wanted me sleeping on the Metro? And what about the homeless woman who gave me the flyer for here? God wanted her sleeping on a train, too, and she was old?”
“She gave you a flyer?”
“Yes. Her name was Joyce.” Onika reached into the pocket of her jeans and handed Charmayne the balled-up flyer.
“Hmm . . . I’ve never seen this flyer before. We typically work on referrals only, but when you called, you sounded so distraught that I had to let you come.”
“That’s very strange that someone would be making flyers for your shelter. Don’t you think that’s strange?”
Charmayne shook her head. “No, I don’t think anything happens by accident, so you’re here because you’re supposed to be here. Let’s go meet Tyshonna. I think she just came in.”
Onika followed Charmayne upstairs. She could hear Tyshonna’s voice through the bedroom door. It sounded like she was talking on the phone, and the conversation was pretty heated. Charmayne knocked lightly.
Tyshonna threw the door open, gave Onika a quick up-and-down glance, and then smiled.
“Hey, somebody close to my age. You moving in here?”
Onika nodded. “For a little while, until I can get on my feet.”
“Girl, that’s why we’re all here,” Tyshonna said with a laugh. “I’m Ty. Don’t call me by my whole name like Charmayne does.”
Charmayne laughed. “She’s a little older than you, but you’re right, she’s close to your age.”
“I’m twenty-six,” Onika said.
“Oh dang! You’re almost thirty. I’m twenty-one.”
Onika had to check herself to keep her jaw from dropping. This girl looked like she was in her early thirties. She had tiny lines around her eyes, the kind that came from smoking cigarettes and spending too much time in the sun. Her teeth were stained and yellow, and she had gray all through her thick black afro.
Ty also had more curves than Onika had ever seen on a twenty-one-year-old. Her hips and behind looked like they’d borne multiple babies, and her heavy breasts looked like they’d nursed a village. Not that anything was sagging or drooping, though. She had a dangerous body. The kind that made a man act like a fool.
“I’m almost thirty, but I still like to have fun.”
“Aye!” Ty did a little dance in which she swiveled her hips from side to side. “Finally, a club partner.”
Charmayne laughed. “I said I would go to the club with you.”
“No. You said you would go to the club if I would go to church with you the next day. That is not a fair exchange.”
“I think it is. I would be going somewhere I didn’t want to go, and so would you.”
Onika considered church. She wasn’t in the mood for it. Too much had happened for her to believe there was someone on a heavenly throne looking out for her. She hoped Charmayne’s help wasn’t contingent on attending a church.
“So is that part of your help?” Onika asked. “Do I have to do the whole church thing?”
“It’s not,” Ty answered for Charmayne. “If it was, she woulda put my butt out months ago.”
“How long have you been here?” Onika asked.
“Ty has been here six months, and she can stay as long as she needs to stay. Maybe she’ll tell you her story.”
Ty was suddenly sheepish and looked at the ground. “I don’t want to keep telling that story.”
“One day, when you’re on the other side of this, you’ll tell that story to anyone who will listen,” Charmayne said. “You know what happened to me.”
Ty nodded. “And you got past it.”
“Yep. It’s a process. You’ll make it too.”
Ty perked up a bit and grabbed Onika’s hand. “Well, I might as well show you our room now. Since we got all sentimental right then.”
“Yes, you did. Next time give me a warning when that’s going to happen.”
Charmayne laughed. “We don’t always know when we’re going to have our moments.”
“You just wait,” Ty said. “You’re going to be having moments, too. You can’t live here and not have epiphanies and breakthroughs.”
Onika smiled but didn’t reply. She didn’t want an epiphany or a breakthrough. She just needed a little help until she started her job. She wasn’t at rock-bottom. She’d just lost a man in whom she’d placed too much trust.
She wa
sn’t broken. Judy and Earlene had made her unbreakable.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Graham had spent the entire weekend checking his phone for a missed call or a text from Onika. She hadn’t reached out. Not once. Something deep inside had told him she wouldn’t.
“What’s wrong with you this morning?”
Graham looked up at his friend, Lorne, who had probably stopped at his desk for their morning coffee run. Graham checked that he had his wallet and work badge, then got to his feet.
“Nothing. I’m ready.”
On the way to the elevator, Lorne smiled, winked, or spoke to at least five women. They all gave him call-me-maybe glances. Graham didn’t know how Lorne did it. Lorne was an all right looking dude, but nowhere near as polished as Graham. If Graham had to guess, Lorne probably hadn’t been to the gym since the first day of January, when he’d made a resolution to work out.
Lorne whistled contentedly on the elevator. He was probably counting up all the tail he was gonna tap.
“How do you do it?”
Lorne laughed. “You always ask me this, but then you don’t believe me when I give you the answer.”
“’Cause that answer is not the truth. You have a secret cologne you spray on in the morning? A voodoo ritual you do at the house? What?”
“I told you. I look at every one of them like I want to take them to bed. Fat, homely, skinny, old, and young.”
“But that’s because you do want to have sex with all of them.”
“True. But never let a woman tell you she doesn’t want to be the object of a man’s desire. She just doesn’t want to be disrespected.”
“I’m not like you. I don’t want to sleep with every woman I see.”
“You ought to get your testosterone levels checked. That ain’t normal.”
Graham shook his head and laughed as they exited the elevator in the lobby, where their other friend, Craig, was waiting for them.
“I was about to leave y’all,” Craig said. “Y’all know Pat be on my case these days.”
“She should be on your case. You don’t do any work,” Lorne said.
“Neither do you, but some of us aren’t lucky enough to have a frat brother for a manager.”
“Don’t hate,” Lorne said. “Just ask me for help.”
“You hear this fool?” Craig asked. “I’m gonna help you to a knuckle sandwich.”
“Violence in the workplace,” Graham said. “I won’t be a part of it.”
“So Lorne texted me and said you were looking destitute this morning,” Craig said. “What’s up?”
The story was embarrassing, but they were all friends. Plus, maybe they could help.
“Met a girl on the Metro platform. Fine as all get out, sense of humor. Gave her my card. She didn’t call.”
Lorne and Craig erupted in a cacophony of sounds. It was a mixture of laughter and scorn as they clowned him at full force.
“You gave her your card?” Lorne asked. “You were supposed to get her number, fool!”
“No chick is about to call you first.”
“Y’all think I don’t know that? I was working up to it. There wasn’t enough time. The train was coming.”
“So you continue talking on the train, then.”
“I was getting on the Green. She stayed for the Yellow.”
“So you got on the train, while she stood on the platform? My brother . . .” Lorne shook his head like all of their African ancestors were disappointed in Graham.
“You should’ve waited until she got on her train. Maybe even changed courses and got on her train.”
“That sounds like stalking and menacing.”
“It sounds like she wasn’t all that fine,” Lorne said.
“She was. I wanted to propose right there on the platform.”
“What did you just say about stalking?” Craig asked. “You sound creepy as heck.”
“Forget I mentioned it.”
“Did you get her name?”
“Onika.”
“Onika what?”
“I didn’t get her last name.”
Lorne and Craig groaned. Graham wished he had a time machine. Then he could go back and conquer the way he should’ve conquered. Slay the way he should’ve slain. Maybe he did need his testosterone levels checked. His inner caveman was nowhere to be found.
“That’s why he’s gonna end up with Leslie’s thirsty self,” Craig said. “You might as well go on and take her out on a second date.”
Now Graham groaned. Leslie was their office’s desperado. She wanted a date at all costs. Graham had run into her at a church men’s conference. She said she was volunteering, but Graham thought she was shopping. He’d had coffee with her afterward, and they did some PG-rated flirting on their Facebook accounts. It wasn’t much of anything in Graham’s opinion, but she told her friends at work that they’d gone on a date.
“I’d do her,” Lorne said.
“We already discussed this,” Graham said. “You and I are very different.”
“For real, though. She isn’t bad looking. A little bit beyond thick, but not sloppy. No kids. Good job. She’s doable.”
Graham was sure Lorne would have a field day with him saying he didn’t just want to do someone. Well, sometimes he did, but recently he’d been wanting more. Leslie wasn’t bad; she just wasn’t more.
“Maybe you can find Metro girl. Onika is a weird name. You might luck out and find her on social media.”
“Already looked. Vapor. Zilch.”
“Maybe she was a mirage,” Lorne said. “A figment of your lonely imagination.”
Or maybe he just had to find her. DC was big, but he had time. If it was meant for their paths to cross again, they would. And next time he’d conquer and slay. Or at least get her phone number.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Graham sat at his desk, staring at the computer screen, trying to make sense of the report that he was supposed to brief his manager on at their morning meeting. He couldn’t concentrate because he couldn’t stop thinking about his dream from the night before.
He’d dreamed about Onika.
And it wasn’t one of the dreams he usually had after a very long dry spell. It wasn’t X-rated at all. He dreamed about spending time with her. They were at a baseball game, eating hot dogs and cheering on the Nationals. He remembered her laughter, and the warm kisses she placed on his cheeks. It had felt so real.
And now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had to find her but had no idea where to start. He had her first name.
He’d done the obvious already. After he got off work on Monday, he went to the same Metro station, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. He would chase her down, run behind the train if he had to, but he was getting her number. But she wasn’t there. He’d waited for hours, even sending up little prayers that God would send her back his way.
Graham felt a little obsessed about Onika, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. But he couldn’t help it. She’d made a tremendous first impression on him. The mother of all first impressions.
“Graham. Graham!”
Graham looked up from the computer screen. Leslie stood there, holding a plastic food container. A strange scent came from the little plastic bowl. It smelled vaguely of food.
“Leslie. Good morning.”
“Good morning. Did you have breakfast yet? I made a hash-brown casserole, and I thought you might like some.”
Leslie tilted the bowl toward Graham so he could see the brown, greasy, cheesy gelatinous blob of something. It didn’t look like a casserole. It looked like something a hazmat team would need to dispose of.
“Oh, I did have breakfast. I had a green smoothie on the way to work.”
“A green smoothie? That’s not food. You’re a grown man. You need sustenance to get through the work day. Try it.”
Graham cringed as Leslie scooped some of the goop into a spoon and thrust it in his face. She didn’t seem to be planning on moving
until he took the bite, so he did. It tasted worse than it looked. Like cold Crisco and flour with too much salt and too much pepper.
“It’s good,” Graham lied. “Just leave the rest here, and I’ll finish it up.”
“Or you could come and join me in the break room. We can have breakfast together.”
“I wish I could, but I’ve really got to get this briefing ready for my meeting at nine. Maybe another day this week, okay?”
Leslie let out a frustrated sigh. Graham knew she was tired of him avoiding her, but he’d never told her that he wanted to date. He wasn’t interested in hurting her feelings, but he wasn’t interested in her. At all.
“I know what it is. You don’t really want our coworkers in our business. I get that.”
“We don’t have any business.”
“Graham. You were the one in my Facebook inbox. Don’t try to act like I’m delusional and making this stuff up. You were trying to holler at me, and as soon as I said yes, you started tripping.”
“Leslie, I’m sorry. I really have to get ready for this meeting, but let’s talk about it later. Maybe go to happy hour or something.”
“Really?”
Graham cringed at the excitement in her voice, but it also made him sad that she was that eager. That was really messed up.
“Sure, but as friends. Don’t go telling everyone we’re dating. I don’t mind us being friends and hanging out.”
“You’re saying you’re not interested in me?”
Crap! Graham watched tears well up in Leslie’s eyes. He didn’t have time for this. Hadn’t asked for this.
“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying we don’t know each other well enough for all that.”
“Okay. I’ll text you later. I’m gonna just leave your breakfast right here. You can eat it while you get ready for your meeting.”
“Thanks.”
Leslie walked away with a little bounce in her step. It made Graham shudder to think that his non-promise put it there.
Graham’s computer chimed indicating an instant message from Lorne.
Her Secret Life Page 10