“Hey, baby,” he greeted her, extending one arm.
How could he tell her the things she should know, how he felt about not being a whole man? The prostate cancer had spread to other parts of his body. The doctor recommended a useless second surgery. Why? There was no way they’d cure the monstrous disease. Wellington hit the button, administering another dose of morphine.
Already feeling helpless, he hadn’t seen but had heard of people enduring one surgery after another. Taking chemotherapy. Losing their hair, muscle mass, and body weight, shrinking to saggy skin and bones seemingly overnight. Then waiting. Waiting for the inevitable, to hear, “We’re sorry. There’s nothing else we can do.”
Wellington could only blame himself. He should’ve had the operation two years ago. But he was afraid then. Terrified now. Wellington chuckled quietly. A grown man afraid to make a health decision in his best interest because his manhood might be jeopardized. How typical of him; thinking with the wrong head.
Jada lifted his hand and kissed it.
“If I don’t make it, ba, take care of little Wellington, and be nice to Simone. Are they here? Is Simone here?”
Simone was a good cushion for Wellington’s landing after Jada had left him. Wellington fell out of like with Simone when his second chance to reunite with his true love, Jada, was presented. But in a way, he loved the way Simone Smith loved him. The way she smiled. The way she held him. Simone was twice Jada’s size, but she knew how to move her body at the right time, to his perfect spot.
Simone was the mother of his only biological son and he never wanted them to struggle financially. Not when he had so much to give. Wellington knew Jada thought he’d given Simone way too much money, but the truth he’d known was a reality for him today. No matter how much money he had, he couldn’t take a dime of it with him. If his son’s mother was healthy, his son was healthy. In his revised trust, Wellington made certain Simone was very happy.
Shaking her head, Jada said, “Simone prefers to wait and come to the house with little Wellington. And stop talking nonsense, your surgery was a success. You worry too much. Relax. And we’ll all be here waiting to take you home when the doctor signs your release.” She stroked Wellington’s forearm.
“Ba, look at me. I’m not going back under the knife again. I told my doctor I wanted to be the one to tell you that I don’t have much longer to live and I have less than a ten percent chance of surviving another surgery. Before I die, I want you to know that I love you. I don’t want you to be alone or lonely.”
As she shed tears, Jada’s voice trembled, “Shut up with all that foolishness, Wellington Jones, you are not going anywhere. You’re not leaving me, you hear me? I’m not going to let you go.”
“Ba, I’m serious. And I’ve been thinking. Since Darius has his company and you have your company, I’ve notified my attorney to change our trust and leave Wellington Jones and Associates to little Wellington, Simone, and my sister. My lawyer will bring the papers here tomorrow for me to sign.”
“Now you’re talking like a crazy man. I am not going to give away our family business to her. I am your wife.”
“To them,” Wellington emphasized. “And it’s my business, ba. I owned it before we met. And I’m the only one who runs my business.”
“Well, who do you think has been running it the last few days?”
“My sister. I know. And she’s doing a good job. Ba, please, promise me, if anything happens to me before I sign the papers, you’ll honor my request.”
This time Jada became silent.
Wellington looked away, then continued. “I’m no fool. I may not know how you feel about Darius’s father, but I do know he loves you. And I do know he’s out there waiting for you. And yes, I know he’s been spending the night in my damn house fucking my goddamn wife.”
Jada’s eyelids stretched wide. “Wellington, what are you saying?”
“I know you have womanly needs. I know I haven’t been able to sexually satisfy you for a long time. But why did you have to fuck that nigga in my house!” His yell was barely above a normal tone because that was all the energy he could force out of his body.
“Why did you have to kick me while I’m down? While I’m helpless and incapacitated? You don’t have to answer me. I can look at you and tell you’re glowing.” Wellington’s fingers curled into a ball. “If I don’t survive, my other request is that you have my blessing to remarry. But, ba, whateva you do, don’t marry Darryl. What has he ever done to help you? Or Darius? He’s only trying to move me out to get his hands on your money and Darius’s money.”
Jada moved closer to kiss Wellington’s lips, but before her lips touched his, he turned away. “Be quiet, baby. I only have one soul mate.”
Wellington closed his eyes, then said, “Don’t be so sure. And my last request is the most difficult of all, but I thought you should know, Melanie came by.”
Jada remained silent. She stood and said, “They must’ve removed half your brain.”
Wellington continued. “I agreed to sign the papers, leaving her my third interest in Somebody’s Gotta Be on Top plus five million dollars cash and I signed the birth certificate acknowledging that Morgan is my daughter.”
Jada slapped Wellington’s face so hard the breathing tube slipped from his nose. “So this is how you want to sabotage everything we’ve built. Just divide your money up and tell me all of this shit! What if you weren’t sick? When were you going to tell me the truth?”
“Ba, wait,” Wellington said, putting the tube back in his nose.
“There’s no easy way to tell you any of this, but I can’t leave you with my conscience being guilty.”
“Well, as long as you’re clearing your conscience, do you love Melanie? Is she your soul mate too?” Jada sarcastically asked.
Wellington closed his eyes, then replied, “Yes, and yes.”
CHAPTER 29
Darius
Familiarity?
“You can know a person most of your life and still not know them at all.”
Ignoring the warning signs of her emotional attachment cost him time, money, and the freedom to walk the streets without looking over his shoulder. The phone calls, the I love yous, entering his home without his permission. How could a man control a woman’s feelings toward him? More importantly, how could he control her behavior?
Darius’s Oakland home felt strange. Weeks had passed since he was there. Anxiously Darius awaited his departure to Mandy’s office. “I sure hope Mandy is ready for me, ’cause I gotta lotta shit to get off my chest.” After his appointment he’d head straight for the next flight to L.A. to be with his mother. Maybe Mandy could help Ashlee. More good than bad memories of Ashlee surfaced.
Sitting on his king-size circular bed, Darius reminisced on the time they’d plotted to run away, protesting their parents’ marriage.
One summer day, after fifth grade, going into the sixth, Darius had said, “Honestly, I don’t want my mom to marry your dad.”
“You too? I wanted my parents to get back together, but my mom keeps saying I’m dreaming.”
“I’ve got a plan,” Darius had said. “We can run away from home.”
“Yeah, and divorce our parents,” Ashlee agreed. “Maybe then they’ll take us serious.”
Darius spoke firmly. “Make sure you pack a toothbrush, and lots of clean underwear and socks.”
“Is that all?” Ashlee had asked. “What about food?”
“I don’t know. My mom always says, ‘Darius, you got your toothbrush? And extra underwear and socks?’ so I guess that stuff must be pretty important. She never mentions food because we always have money, I guess.”
“Okay. Let’s run away right before the wedding,” Ashlee had suggested.
“Great idea!”
Bad idea. Both of them got their asses whupped. Ashlee by her dad. Darius by Wellington. Those were the days simple things were fun. Like the caricature Ashlee had drawn of him with a basketball head. The days
before Darius understood what sex was or how great cumming felt. Ashlee was cute. Bright. Talented. Innocent. Funny. Back then they didn’t have to do much to make one another laugh. A silly expression. A tickle. A pillow fight. The one thing Darius had with Ashlee that he didn’t have with Fancy was way-back history. Now everything Ashlee did pissed him off. Ashlee had, in his opinion, done the unforgivable. In time, he’d forget both Ashlee and her random acts of jealousy.
Love?
Darius had thought he loved Ashlee. Not anymore. She’d failed him. Why would the woman who supported him the most try to force him to marry her? Make him be her lover? Make him be in love with her? Knowing she’d fabricated the worst lie a man could imagine? If Ashlee had a slither of a chance, she’d blown her opportunity.
Guilt.
Darius’s conscience was attached to Ashlee, not his heart. He felt bad for treating her wrong. Using her. Manipulating her. But Ashlee had encouraged his behavior by accepting him regardless of his actions.
Deception.
Darius feared what his dad had said could’ve been true. The Ashlee Darius knew would never kill his child, sneaking abortion pills into his house. But then again, she’d never break into his home, deface his property, hide in his car, or lie to him, all of which she’d done in the past few days.
Closing the front door behind him, Darius stood in front of his Oakland home remembering the time he and Kimberly had fucked on the lawn. Stepping out of the limo that day, all Kimberly wore was the mink coat he’d bought her and a necklace of pearls around her waist. “Man, oh, man.” Shaking his head, he felt his dick getting hard. “If Kimberly was here right now, I’d tear that pussy up!”
Frantically searching for his ringing cell phone before he missed the call, he saw it was his doctor. A happy finger pressed the Talk key as Darius answered, “Hey, Doc.”
“Mr. Williams, where are you?”
No return hello. Straight to business. Damn. Darius’s heart skipped a beat. “Oakland. Why? What’s up?”
“Based on your results, the head coach disapproved your physical. We need to have you retested right away.”
His legs weakened, collapsing him onto the bottom step. “What’s the problem? You make it sound like I’m dying or something,” Darius said, fearing the unthinkable.
“You could be. Your WBC is extremely high. Unsafe. Possibly life-threatening.”
“WBC?”
“White blood count.”
“What’s the problem?”
“We don’t know yet. Could be as simple as a foreign substance in your body, a cold or a bladder infection, all of which are treatable with antibiotics. You may have kidney problems.”
“Or?” Darius asked.
“Worst-case scenario, you could be HIV-positive. Next time we’ll check your T-cell count.”
“But you’re not sure.”
“No, that’s why we have to retest you right away. Everything else is fine. When I call you back, you must go straight to our recommended doctor’s office in Oakland. You’ll be in and out fairly quick. They’re only going to draw blood.”
Great, he’d have to spend another night in Oakland. “Thanks, Doc. I’ll be waiting by my phone for your call.”
Stumbling to his car, Darius drove to Mandy’s office. He parked on University Avenue, then hurried upstairs. Entering the lobby, he approached the receptionist, then said, “Darius Williams.”
“You can have a seat, Mr. Williams. Mandy is running a little over with her client.”
Darius sat thumbing through a Sports Illustrated magazine. Yeah, soon he’d be on the cover flashing a championship ring. Then Dr. Chase’s phone call hit him hard. If he weren’t so promiscuous he wouldn’t have to worry. Leaning into the swimsuit issue, he gagged. When Darius looked up, he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Ladycat?” he said, tossing the magazine into the trash.
“Mr. William, Mandy will see you now,” the receptionist said.
Fancy’s eyes were red and brown. “How could you fuck her, then let her kill our daughter and act like nothing happened?”
Darius hugged Fancy. “What are you talking about?”
Fancy’s arms looped inside his embrace, forcefully lowering his arms, severing his touch. Damn. Clearly she was no match for him, but Fancy was stronger than he’d realized. “Where’d you learn how to do that?”
“Let me go! I hate you!” Fancy screamed, dialing her cell phone.
“Here, you listen to this, then look me in my eyes and tell me she’s lying.”
Darius became quiet. He took Fancy’s phone and listened to Ashlee’s voice in his ear.
“Hi, Darius. You know who this is. I, I, I forgot something, um, my medication, at your house and, well, I’d like to get my pills back. I’m glad we made love on your should-have-been wedding night because I’m gonna be your wife. I love you, too. Bye. Call me. Wait a minute. I called to be honest. Truth is, the reason I’m calling is to confess, I replaced your aspirins with abortion pills. Please, throw them away before—”
Dropping his hand to his thigh, Darius clenched his teeth, flinching his jaw. Fuck! He’d taken abortion pills? That’s why he started throwing up that night and couldn’t stop.
“I’m so sorry. I forgot to get my keys back and she did this before we got back from Oakland, I mean Berkeley. She also lied to me. My son is alive.”
Blankly Fancy stared at him. Wasn’t Ladycat happy for him?
Flatly she said, “Well, excuse me if I can’t rejoice in your happiness, ’cause my baby is dead. Darius, did you or did you not fuck Ashlee that night?”
“I swear, I did not.”
The sting of Fancy’s hand burned his face.
“Darius, you will lie till you die. That woman is not acting crazy for no reason. I’m glad you’re trying to get help. God knows you need all you can get.”
“Fancy, please, stay here until I finish my appointment. I need to talk to you. Please, I’m begging you. Wait,” Darius said, nudging Fancy into the chair.
“Mr. Williams, Mandy will see you now,” the receptionist repeated.
“Please, I love you,” Darius begged one last time before entering Mandy’s office.
“Well, hello, Darius. Congratulations are in order,” Mandy said, giving him a hug.
Lightly he patted her back, then sat on the sofa. “Thanks.”
“I apologize to cut your hour short, but I went over with my last client. We have forty-five minutes.” Sitting in her swivel high-back chair, Mandy slid her eyeglasses to the tip of her nose, then scooted over to Darius.
Cushioning his elbows into his thighs inches above his knees, Darius stared at the carpet while clasping his hands. His teeth clenched; jaw flinched.
“My goodness. You are seriously stressing. What’s going on in your life?”
Mandy had to know his situation with Fancy. “Damn, where do I start?”
“Wherever you’d like.”
Focusing from his knees to his feet, Darius said, “Let’s see, I’m worried about my mother because my stepfather is dying. She spends most of her time at the hospital, she’s lost a lot of weight too. My fiancée, Fancy, who was in your office a few minutes ago, just lost our baby. I might have HIV but I don’t think so.”
“For the record, everything Fancy told me is confidential. Now, did you say you’re worried about your mother?”
“Of course.”
“Why?” Mandy asked, reaching for her yellow legal-sized notepad.
“Because I love her.”
“Keep going.”
Darius had given lots of thought to that question before now. The answer remained unchanged. “I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“So are your feelings for your mother based on your fear of losing her?”
Darius nodded, then answered, “They say spouses sometimes die close together. If Wellington dies…yes, I am scared.”
“How do you feel about Fancy?”
“She’s the only w
oman I’ve ever loved—”
“Loved or love?”
“Love—”
“But.”
Lowering his head, Darius said, “There is no but. I’m in love with Fancy and that scares me too. What if she rejects me?”
“So your fear is rejection or falling in love?”
“Both.”
“What about abandonment?” Mandy asked.
“That too.”
“Darius, were you there for Fancy when she lost the baby?”
No need to lie on this one. Darius was certain Mandy knew the answer. “No, I wasn’t.”
“Why not?”
“At first I thought she had an abortion. Then I thought she was fucking my next-door neighbor.”
“You didn’t talk with her?”
“No.”
“Why not?” Mandy urged.
“Stupid, I guess.”
“Don’t cop out, Mr. Williams. You’re smarter than that. Tell me.”
“I was angry, okay.”
“Angry or feeling guilty?”
“Both.”
“Why both?”
“Because I had sex with Ashlee, then lied to Fancy. I wanted something to be Fancy’s fault too. But her only fault was loving me.”
“Don’t cop out, Darius. This is not a pity party. I have zero sympathy for you. You’re capable, but are you willing to be honest with yourself and Fancy?”
“Yes.”
“Have you been tested for HIV?”
“Yes.”
“Did you receive your results?”
“Not yet,” Darius said, looking at his phone. “I’m waiting for a call back to take another test.”
“Stop worrying about things you can not control. Accept responsibility for actions. Learn to overcome your fears. And make better decisions.”
“How do I do that?”
“You can start by stopping lying to yourself and learning how to be honest with others. You are your own worst enemy. The average person would welcome your troubles. You have the power to change your way of thinking. About your life. About how you treat the people in your life.”
When Somebody Loves You Back Page 19