Never cheat a Klingon…unless you’re sure you can get away with it.
#194
It’s always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door.
#202
The justification for profit is profit.
#203
New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
#208
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
#211
Employees are rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them.
#214
Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
#217
You can’t free a fish from water.
#218
Always know what you’re buying.
#223
Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox.
#229
Latinum lasts longer than lust.
#236
You can’t buy fate.
#239
Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
#242
More is good…all is better.
#255
A wife is a luxury…a smart accountant is a necessity.
#261
A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
#263
Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
#266
When in doubt, lie.
#284
Deep down everyone’s a Ferengi.
#285
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Un-numbered
A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
Unwritten
When no appropriate rule applies…make one up.
Stages of Acquisition
Infatuation: An unreasoning love or attraction…“I want it.”
Justification: Moral excuse used to explain…“I must have it!”
Appropriation: To take to one’s self in exclusion of others…“IT’S MINE AT LAST!”
Obsession: A compulsive or irrational preoccupation…“My Precious!”
Resale: The action of selling something previously bought…“Make me an offer.”
About Ira Steven Behr
Mr. Behr was born in The Bronx, New York. His first brush with success came when he spent six years in search of the elusive Kafiristan Mook, a journey that was written up in numerous medical and psychiatric magazines, as well as in Mr. Behr’s bestselling autobiographical novel, Look! Behind That Tree. Mr. Behr then traveled to Los Angeles where he worked as writer-producer on such series as Fame, Once a Hero, The Bronx Zoo, STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION®, and STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE®. However, Mr. Behr’s proudest moment in show business came when he was chosen to collaborate with Samuel Beckett on a Broadway musical of the film Rocky; a project tragically cut short by Mr. Beckett’s untimely death.
Mr. Behr currently resides in Paris.
The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition Page 2